Chapter Seven

Val was so lonely she thought she’d cry. She’d never in her life spent so much time by herself. Two days ago, Nathaniel had taken Ruby and Finn to Boston. They were due back tomorrow, but the time had crawled by.

She’d been to the beach and a few galleries in Bar Harbor, rented some movies, and read a few books. Mrs. Spencer had come out to clean the house, and Val followed her around like a puppy. The silence in Couthy Cottage was so heavy she thought she could take a bite out of it. She’d definitely been alone too long and decided to stop feeling sorry for herself. She’d do what all southern women did.

Val headed into town, to the grocery mart, in search of comfort food. She perused the aisles, looking for anything that reminded her of home. Finally, she made her purchases, and then returned to the cottage with bags full of groceries to start cooking.

She found a country station on the radio in the kitchen and turned it up, chasing away the silence with the sweet tones of George Strait. She mixed cornbread, mashed potatoes, made coleslaw, boiled macaroni, and while she was waiting for the oil to heat, started breading the steaks. A blop of egg dripped onto her foot.

Val cursed and hopped to the sink, turning on the faucet with her forearms since her hands were covered in the thick breading mixture, and stuck her foot—flip-flop and all—under the water. She stretched her arm toward the dishtowel, wishing she’d grabbed it before putting her foot in the sink. She glanced up and saw the towel Nathaniel extended toward her.

A smile pulled at one side of his mouth.

Heat flooded Val’s face. “Mr. Cavanaugh, you’re not supposed to be home until tomorrow.” She turned off the water and dried off her foot as gracefully as she could under the circumstances.

“Most of the office took tomorrow off, and I didn’t particularly care to spend the day with my…children’s grandparents. Sorry if I interrupted.” He gestured toward the food preparation. “Are you expecting someone?”

Val returned to the stove, placing the steaks in the hot oil and then washing the floury paste off her fingers. “You shouldn’t apologize for coming to your own house. And no. I’m not expecting anyone.”

“You have enough food here to feed a small country. Are you telling me you made all of this for yourself?” He lowered his head and moved his gaze from her to the enormous mess in his beautiful kitchen.

“Unless y’all care to join me.”

The other side of his mouth lifted. “I’d love to.”

“Then go change out of those nice clothes. I should have all this ready in about twenty minutes.” Val turned down the music and hurried to put the dirty bowls and dishes into the sink.

Moments later, he returned wearing jeans and a button-down shirt and leaned his shoulder against the doorframe. “Anything I can do to help?”

Val wished he wouldn’t watch her with such an intense gaze. She bent over to pull the cornbread out of the oven and felt her skin heat again. Is his shirt the exact blue of his eyes? “No. Just sit on down. I’ll be right over. Why didn’t I wear my new skirt today?

Nathaniel carried some of the dishes to the table. “Dinner smells good. What southern delicacy did you make tonight?”

She pulled a bottle of the local Lighthouse Lager he liked so much out of the fridge and used it to point to the dish he was holding. “That there’s some possum I scraped off the road.”

Nathaniel blanched and looked down at the chicken fried steak.

Val took the plate from him and set it on the table then swatted at his chest. “I’m teasing. I don’t think y’all even have possum up here. I got everything at the grocery store, so don’t ya worry now.”

He twisted his lips in a smile and shook his head. He pulled off the cap of his beer and took a long drink.

Val watched as he ate, nervous when he’d try a new dish and relieved at the look on his face when he told her how much he liked everything. The comfort food did exactly what it was intended to, giving her that feeling of well-being that comes from fried food and good company. “I searched for turnip greens, but the Lobster Cove grocery mart doesn’t have the same produce as Winn-Dixie.”

“I don’t know how you eat like this and stay so small.” He leaned back in his chair and finished his drink, then went to the fridge for another.

While Val cleared the plates, he tied a dish towel around his waist like an apron and rolled up his sleeves. Clean up took only twenty minutes, and they moved out to the porch. Crickets chirped and the waves crashed on the cliffs. The hour was much later than their usual time on the porch, and the night was fully dark.

“How was Boston?” Val asked.

He shrugged and settled back into the chair. “You don’t want to hear about hours of meetings, going over briefs and depositions. Boston was all a whole lot of the same.”

“I like hearing about your work. And it wasn’t the same. You and the kids visited their grandparents this week.” She crossed her arms. “Are Ruby and Finn having a good time? I miss them like crazy.”

“Yeah, I’m sure Marielle and Lawrence are spoiling them now, but they’ll be glad to bring the children home tomorrow.”

“I bet seeing their grandkids is good for them. They must miss their daughter terribly.”

Nathaniel turned toward her, his face awash in shadow.

She wished she could see his expression. “Is visiting difficult for you? Spending time with them must remind you of your wife.”

He let out a breath. “It’s difficult, but not for the reasons you’re thinking.”

“I’m sorry your loss still hurts you so badly.”

He walked to the railing, leaning his forearms against it.

Val thought she must have said too much. His wounds over his wife’s death ran too deep. Why did she go and make it worse? Her heart ached for the pain he was undoubtedly suffering. The crash of the waves seemed to grow louder as the silence stretched. Val had almost decided the conversation was over when Nathaniel turned to face her. She could only see his silhouette.

He finished his drink and set the bottle on the railing. “Val, a couple weeks ago when we sat out here you told me something you’d never told anyone. I could blame the darkness, or the fact you’re a good listener, or the closest thing I’ve had to a friend in years besides Seth.” He raked his hands through his hair. “Or else I’ll blame the beer, or maybe you looking at me like I’m some sort of hero, raising my kids alone. I can’t take it anymore.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “So, here’s the truth.”

Val sat still. The air was heavy, and she twisted a lock of hair. What was he going to tell her? Every time she heard him speak of his wife, she hated her resentment toward the woman. How could she feel like that about someone who was dead? And a mother besides?

“Val, my marriage wasn’t great. It wasn’t even good.” He cleared his throat. “The relationship was eight years of hell.” He let out a ragged breath. “Clara and I met in college and got married too young. I was excited for a family. She was excited to have a fancy wedding. At first, we both wanted the same things. At least I thought we did, but as the years passed, we grew apart. Not just grew apart. We fought all the time. And when we weren’t fighting, we avoided each other. We’d go weeks without speaking. My own home became a place I dreaded. If not for Ruby and Finn, I wouldn’t have even suggested we try therapy.”

“You did your best. Things don’t always—”

“I didn’t do my best.” He spoke in a loud voice, smacking his hand against the railing and sending the bottle clattering onto the wooden boards. “I wanted out. Clara died the same night I served her with divorce papers. She stormed out of the house without looking back. A few hours later, two highway troopers appeared on my porch. Some hero I am.”

Val stood and leaned against the balcony next to him. Her throat ached. “Oh, Nathaniel, I am so sorry.”

He turned toward her, his hand on the railing. “Stop saying that. Everyone has said that to me for the past nine months. If they only knew the truth. I don’t hurt. I don’t feel anything, and that’s even worse. I took my kids’ mother away from them, and I don’t even feel sorry.”

“But you can’t blame yourself.” Val touched her fingers on his arm. It shook. “You must see that. The accident wasn’t because of you.”

He grabbed onto her hand. “You don’t even understand. You’re young and innocent, always happy, always helping. You saved your family, you saved Finn. I destroyed mine.” He dropped his head. “I’m a monster.”

His tight grip was painful. Val reached for his other hand, brushing her fingers down his arm until she clasped it. “If I didn’t have this job, I’d be homeless and broke. You gave me a chance to follow my dream.” She threaded her fingers through his, hoping he could see the truth in her words. That he could feel how much she meant them. “You’re not a monster. You saved me.”

Nathaniel took a step closer, pulling her toward him. He slid his hand beneath her ear, around the back of her neck and cupped her head, lifting her face until their lips met. His other arm pressed against her back, pushing her against him.

Val threaded her fingers into his hair, and he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Her knees were weak and her heart pounded. Nathaniel’s arms were strong, his lips tender, and she thought she might melt through the boards of the deck. He pulled away but she still felt her pulse in her lips. She opened her eyes slowly, savoring the moment and brushed her thumbs along his scratchy jaw line, sighing and leaning her cheek against his chest.

Nathaniel tensed, his arms dropped, and he stepped from her embrace. “Val, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I was caught up in my emotions. I shouldn’t have…I’m sorry.”

Val’s body went rigid and her throat squeezed until she thought she couldn’t breathe. Tears stung her eyes, and she was grateful for the darkness. She knew she should say something. She should act as if the kiss had been a mistake and she regretted it, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Nathaniel’s kiss had set her blood on fire. In his arms, she’d felt like she belonged, that she’d found her other half, and she’d thought he felt the same.

But she was wrong. Just like she’d been with Bo Callaway. She gripped the railing. She wasn’t the kind of girl a man like Nathaniel would be interested in. And the rejection stung every bit as badly as when she was in high school. She didn’t trust herself to speak and fought to hold in her sobs as she fled into the house.

****

As they ran the next morning, Nathaniel could feel Seth studying him. His friend could obviously tell something was the matter, but Nathaniel wasn’t revealing anything about the night before. He didn’t understand his own feelings over what had happened between him and Val.

The softness of her hands, the conviction in her voice when she’d defended and reassured him Clara’s death wasn’t his fault. She actually believed it. Actually believed in him. Telling her the truth had felt like the exact right thing to do. Kissing Val had felt like coming home. Just the thought of their closeness hours later shot heat through his body. He’d trusted her with the deepest, most secret parts of himself and instead of shying away, Val had responded with understanding and acceptance.

Only when his brain kicked in had he realized what he’d done. What they were doing, and he’d had to stop it. He knew he’d hurt her. The person who’d listened and comforted him. Even in the darkness, he could feel her distress. But what other choice did he have? He couldn’t treat Val like a summer fling. She deserved better.

Seth continued to regard him with a questioning expression while they stretched out at the old fence. “You sure nothing’s wrong?”

“Everything’s fine.”

“How’s Val?”

Nathaniel shot a dark gaze toward Seth.

Seth nodded. “I thought that was it.” He pushed on the fence, leaning forward to stretch out his calves.

“What does that mean?”

“Means I can tell something’s going on between you two.” Seth traded legs and leaned forward again. “I knew you the whole time you were with Clara, and I never saw you look at her the way you look at Val.” He stood on one leg, shaking out the other, and then switched. “Just the way you’re acting right now tells me more is there than you want people to think.”

Nathaniel leaned back against the rails, crossing his arms. “And what am I supposed to do? She leaves in a few weeks. Not to mention, Val and I are from completely different worlds.”

“Last time I checked, you were both from planet Earth.”

Nathaniel stayed silent.

“You want my diagnosis?”

“Are you a psychologist now?” Nathaniel furrowed his fingers through his hair.

“You’ve been beating yourself up about Clara for years now. Not just her death, which was in no way your fault. You feel responsible for the problems in your marriage, and in some weird way you’re punishing yourself.” Seth walked around the fence to face his friend. “You do deserve to be happy. And if Val makes you happy…”

Nathaniel’s jaw tightened. “Then what? I keep her from her dream in Paris? Take her to Boston where she’ll feel completely lost?”

Seth opened his mouth to speak.

With a wave, Nathaniel cut him off. “Listen, the kids’ grandparents will be here for dinner on Sunday. You want to come?”

“Marielle and Lawrence?” Seth’s mouth turned downward. “Should be interesting.”

Interesting was an understatement. “Is that a yes?”

“One might wonder whether you are inviting me to ease some of the awkwardness, or if it’s my world-famous grilled salmon you’re after.”

Nathaniel sighed and tipped his head. “It’s both”

“You sure do know how to make a guy feel wanted.”

The man’s ego was unbelievable. Nathaniel rolled his eyes.

“Mind if I bring Melanie?”

The mention of Seth’s friend was just a reminder of how caught up Nathaniel had been in his own problems for the last few months. He didn’t know anything about this woman his friend was apparently seeing. “You don’t think Marielle and Lawrence will scare her away? She seemed pretty shy.”

“Nah. And she likes Val.” He smirked. “She came right out and admitted it. Imagine that.”

Nathaniel muttered something that resembled a farewell and walked up the road to the cottage.

He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and noticed a spoon in the sink. Val must have had breakfast. She wasn’t on the back porch. Maybe in her room? Or she may have gone for a walk. He didn’t blame her for avoiding him.

He showered and worked in his office for the majority of the day, thinking of what Seth had said. His thoughts turning more often than they should to Val. Should he check on her? He started up the stairs half a dozen times before talking himself out of it. What would he say? Apologize again for kissing her? Ask if she felt better today after she’d fled in tears?

He couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t simply dredge up injured feelings. He’d probably make it worse. Or downplay the moment, which would be more hurtful. In the end, he stayed in his office, straining for sounds coming from the floor above.

Later that afternoon, Nathaniel heard the crunch of gravel beneath tires and hurried outside as his in-laws pulled in front of the house.

Ruby opened her door and ran toward him as soon as the car stopped. “Daddy!” She squeezed her arms around his waist and looked past him to the door. “Where’s Val?”

Finn strained against the straps of his car seat and held onto Nathaniel’s neck when he was finally freed. “Daddy. We home!” The boy leaned and squirmed, indicating he wanted to be put down. “Val!”

Hearing her name, Nathaniel turned his head and saw Val kneeling on the steps, smiling and nodding as she listened to Ruby jabber away about her trip to her grandparents’ house. She wore a short lightweight cotton sundress held up with thin lacy straps.

Finn joined them, and Val pulled him into her lap as she continued to listen to Ruby.

“So that’s the famous ‘Val’ we heard about for the last two days.” Lawrence joined Nathaniel and let out a low whistle.

Nathaniel didn’t acknowledge the man’s reaction with a response. Instead, he opened the car door for Marielle.

His mother-in-law was applying lipstick and turned her head back and forth to study the effect before she closed her mirror and returned it to her purse. Without looking, she reached out a hand for Nathaniel to assist her from the car. She stepped out and allowed her gaze to travel over the scene, taking in the cliffs, the yard, and finally the cottage. “Oh really, Nathaniel. I didn’t know you were camping out here. Why not take the children to a nice resort?” She took a step toward the house but when her gaze landed on Val, she froze.

Nathaniel actually saw her nostrils flare, and a surge of protectiveness rose inside him. He walked to the steps. “Val, come meet Finn and Ruby’s grandparents.”

Her gaze met his briefly, but she turned away, lifting Finn and holding onto Ruby’s hand as she joined him on the gravel drive.

At the sight of her red puffy eyes, Nathaniel drew in a breath, his stomach sinking. He saw Marielle look Val up and down and fought against the impulse to shield his nanny from her scrutiny. “Val, I’d like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. Lassiter. Marielle and Lawrence, this is Valdosta McKinley.”

“Valdosta?” Lawrence’s eyebrow rose.

“Pleased to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Lassiter.” Val held out her hand.

“My goodness, have some decency and put on some clothes.” Marielle pointed toward the door.

Val blinked. She opened her mouth and took a step back. Red flooded her cheeks as she glanced down at the yellow sun dress.

He hadn’t seen it before so Nathaniel was sure she’d chosen the dress especially for the occasion.

“Marielle.” Nathaniel stepped between them, taking his mother-in-law’s arm. “You haven’t seen the view from the porch.”

“Is this why you didn’t send her down to Boston? That woman is wearing little more than a negligee.”

Nathaniel shook, furious that Marielle would insult Val. The look of humiliation on Val’s face hurt like a punch in the gut.

“I won’t have a woman like her around my grandchildren. Do you want Ruby to think it’s okay to dress like a call girl?” She curled her lip and wrinkled her nose.

The edges of Nathaniel’s vision turned red. He didn’t think he’d ever been so fiercely angry in his life. He wanted to squeeze Marielle’s bony elbow until she screamed. Her voice sounding every bit as arrogant as Clara’s made it all the worse.

“Marielle—” He was impressed he could make his voice sound as calm as it did. “—Miss McKinley is my employee and my friend. She saved Finn’s life at personal risk to her own. She is the kindest, most genuine person I’ve ever met. I don’t care what she chooses to wear because I know she loves my children, and that’s what’s important.”

The screen door closed behind him.

Marielle’s eyes narrowed and she darted a look back at the cottage. “What’s really going on up here? Nathaniel, what are you doing with that woman?”

“That’s enough talk about the nanny.” Lawrence flicked his hand.

He finally must have decided to intervene before things got ugly.

Lawrence took his wife’s arm. “Nathaniel, why don’t you show us your vacation home? And Marielle and I were hoping to take you out to dinner. We heard The Cliffside, next to our hotel, is supposed to be one of the best places in town.”

“That will be fine.” Nathaniel held up a hand, palm forward. “But let me just be clear. I won’t tolerate any ill speaking of Val under my roof. Such behavior is completely unacceptable, and I refuse to allow that sort of talk to reach my children’s ears.”

Both Lawrence and Marielle stared.

He was sure they’d never heard him put his foot down. He’d certainly never stood up to his wife. Nathaniel was glad he’d not just let the incident slide. Val needed a defender, and he was the only one who could do it. If only he’d found his backbone a few years earlier when Clara had been the one spouting insults.

When Nathaniel returned from dinner, the cottage was dark. He glanced out at the back porch but wasn’t surprised when he didn’t see Val. He climbed the stairs. Both children were in their beds asleep, and no light glowed beneath Val’s door. He didn’t know what to say, but couldn’t let the events from the last two days pass without speaking with her.

He knocked softly on her door. “Val?”

She didn’t respond.

She had to be in there. He knew she wouldn’t have left the children home alone. “I wanted to say I’m sorry. For everything.” He heard movement inside her room. “Val, open the door. Can we talk?”

“Not tonight,” came her muffled reply.

He didn’t blame her in the least. She had to feel completely mortified by what Marielle had said, and add that to the kiss the night before…Feeling sad, Nathaniel rested his forehead against the door. “Good night, Val.”

****

The next day, Val planned to be out of the house as early as possible. She texted Brandt and learned he and his friends would be spending the day at the beach by the Sea Crest Inn. The last thing she wanted was to run into Nathaniel, or his mother-in-law. Just the thought of the woman’s condescending words made Val’s stomach sour and her face smolder.

Mrs. Lassiter was one thing, but knowing how Val’d undoubtedly embarrassed Nathaniel—probably the entire time she’d been in Lobster Cove with her white trash clothes—felt a hundred times worse. Of course he didn’t take her seriously. How could he when he was so clearly out of her league? He’d humored her all along and probably laughed at her behind her back.

His rejection after their kiss made it painfully obvious he didn’t consider her to be the right kind of woman. How could she have thought otherwise?

Embarrassment and humiliating washed through her, nearly to the point of making her vomit. She breathed heavily, waiting a moment to get up the nerve to open the door. She grabbed her beach bag and purse and peeked in at Ruby and Finn before she hurried down the hall. Luckily, the kids were still asleep. She hoped Nathaniel was, too, or else maybe he was running with Seth. Stepping quietly down the stairs, she glanced toward Nathaniel’s room and office, but both doors were shut.

He said her name as she laid her hand on the doorknob.

Val’s heart rose into her throat. She’d only seen him for a few moments since their kiss, and those moments weren’t great. She turned, but kept her gaze on the floor. “I’m sorry, I have to go. I have plans today.” His feet appeared her line of sight.

“I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Do you plan to avoid me for the rest of the summer?” He took a step closer.

Val backed up, bumping into the door. She was acting like a petulant princess and chided herself. She was an educated independent woman, and she needed to start behaving like it. “Of course not.” She raised her gaze, fighting against the emotion that seemed determined to leak out of her eyes.

“Good. I was hoping you would join us for dinner tonight.” His voice was light, “Seth’s coming over to grill salmon and he’s bringing Melanie. Marielle and Lawrence will be here, and I thought everyone would love your cornbread and coleslaw. I know it’s your day off, but I’d really appreciate it if you’d make this exception.”

He sounded as if he were asking her to grab a cola at the gas station and couldn’t imagine this would be distressing in the least. “Are you even kidding me right now?” She didn’t know whether to scream or to cry. Her hands were shaking. Why was he doing this? Was he making fun of her? “I can’t come to supper. I don’t even want to be here, not after what she…” Maintaining eye contact turned out to be impossible.

“Val, I’m not letting you hide.” He spoke in a serious voice. “I’m not ashamed of you. I don’t care what Marielle says, and I don’t want her to hurt you or make you feel like you’re not welcome. I want you here tonight. We all do.”

She glanced up at him and felt her heart inflate.

“You’re one of us and we’re in this together.”

Her throat tightened as she realized what he was asking. Nathaniel wanted her to come to dinner? Did he really think Valdosta McKinley from the holler was good enough to associate with his wealthy family and friends? A bud of hope sprouted in her chest, but the feeling disappeared when she remembered Marielle’s spiteful words from the day before. “But after what she said…”

“I can’t believe the same woman that jumped in front of a trolley, raised her family, sold a skeptical man on abstract art, or wowed the entire town at the shooting gallery gives a second thought to the words of one haughty middle-aged woman.”

Val stared at Nathaniel and her tears threatened to overflow, but for a completely different reason than before. She had no idea he felt this way. He believed in her. He was proud of her and wouldn’t let Marielle tear her down. “Thank you.” She opened the door. She needed to escape, either that or fall into his arms, which obviously wasn’t an option.

“Seven o’clock?”

“I’ll be here.” Val’s emotions were on a crazy rollercoaster ride. Her heart raced, her knees shook, and she didn’t know whether she would end up laughing or sobbing. She’d rather find out in the privacy of her car than in front of Nathaniel.

She drove down the gravel drive, and, once out of sight of the cottage, she pulled over and leaned against the head rest. Did Nathaniel have any idea what his words accomplished? She had gone from feeling worthless to feeling like she could conquer the world. She found a pen in her purse, made a grocery list of what she’d need for the evening, and felt her smile growing.

For a moment, she daydreamed about spilling lemonade in Marielle’s hair and giggled as she pulled back onto the road in better spirits than she’d felt in days. She arrived at the beach early and relaxed in the warming sun until her friends joined her. The group ate and laughed, but Val’s smile had nothing to do with her company. She didn’t feel bad about leaving early, even though Brandt acted as if she were breaking his heart. Instead, she looked forward to supper, to good food and friends that cared about her, but especially being with the man whose approval had come to mean more than just about anything.