7.
On Saturday morning, Cassie put on the red Chinese silk robe hanging in the armoire and ventured downstairs. Her hair sat limply on her shoulders, her cheeks were pale, and her stomach was completely flat. The smell of blueberry pancakes wafted up the stairs, and suddenly Cassie had a craving for maple syrup and whipped cream.
Pia stood at the chrome counter and poured pancake batter onto the griddle. She turned to Cassie and smiled, motioning for her to sit at the kitchen table. Alexis’s kitchen was the opposite of the regally elegant living room. Every surface was chrome, polished so you could see your reflection. There were matching chrome dishwashers under the sink, and a chrome fridge with a built-in juice bar.
“Good morning, Mrs. Blake,” Pia said in her Norwegian accent. “Would you like orange juice or coffee?”
“Coffee please,” Cassie replied. Pia had the kind of Scandinavian beauty that made most women leery of hiring her. She was six feet tall with white blond hair and creamy skin no cosmetic could reproduce. It was a testament to Alexis’s supreme self-confidence that she hired her on the first interview when she discovered Pia knew how to make a bed military style and could iron Carter’s shirts without creasing a collar.
“Hey, you made it downstairs.” Alexis held Poodles in her arms. She wore a pink Juicy sweat suit and knee-high black UGGs. “It’s freezing outside, but at least it’s sunny.”
“I feel like Miss Havisham in Great Expectations.” Cassie sipped her coffee.
“Never read it.” Alexis shook her head. “You do look really pale. Here, try some of these.” Alexis walked over to the pantry and put an assortment of bottles on the kitchen table.
“What are these?” Cassie asked.
Alexis read the labels. “Codfish oil, vitamin C, vitamin A, chewable calcium, and wheatgrass to rejuvenate your digestive system.”
“I think I’ll stick with pancakes.” Cassie grimaced.
“You want to look amazing when Aidan arrives.” Alexis swallowed two vitamin C tablets. “What are you going to wear?”
“This robe and slippers? I don’t have any other clothes.” Cassie shrugged.
Alexis looked at Cassie critically. “Only Hugh Hefner can wear a robe and be taken seriously. Aidan has to know you’re hurt but not broken. After breakfast, we’ll find you something in my closet.”
“You’re three inches taller than me and your waist is two inches smaller.”
“I’ve got a bunch of miniskirts that will fit perfectly. And you look like you lost ten pounds. A woman should write the ‘Adultery Diet.’ It would be an instant bestseller.” Alexis poured herself a cup of coffee.
“I’d rather keep on the extra pounds.” Cassie sighed. She hadn’t talked to Aidan in days and she realized she was desperate to hear his voice. She thought about what he was doing right now: working out at the gym, showering, eating egg whites on toast.
“We’ll make you look like Jessica Alba.” Alexis attacked half of a grapefruit.
“How are we going to do that?” Cassie rolled her eyes.
“I’ve been taking makeup lessons with Damien White. Give me a few hours and I can turn you into Angelina Jolie.”
Cassie studied her reflection in the chrome fridge. “I’ll settle for Drew Barrymore. She always has that wounded-but-sexy thing going.”
Alexis studied Cassie’s face. “I can do Drew Barrymore in twenty minutes.”
Cassie followed Alexis into the master bedroom suite, which occupied half of the second floor. Double French doors led into a private foyer with a framed Matisse over the mantel. The bedroom had a circular bed with an enormous white headboard. White curtains trimmed with fox fur covered the windows, and there was a sable throw on the love seat.
“You’ve redecorated.” Cassie ran her hand over the mink bedspread.
“Carter spent a month in Moscow last winter. He wanted the bedroom to resemble the Winter Palace. He has one of Czar Nicholas’s footstools in his closet, and a Fabergé egg in the bathroom.” Alexis led Cassie through a short hallway.
“Don’t you feel guilty about all the fur?” Cassie asked tentatively.
“It’s faux fur.” Alexis opened the door to her walk-in. “Carter would kill me, he likes things to be authentic. But how could I hug my adorable Poodles knowing that animals have been killed to make my bedspread?”
Cassie stepped into Alexis’s closet and took a deep breath. She had never seen so many clothes in a small space. There were rows of blouses, drawers of cashmere sweaters, baskets of lacy underwear, a whole wall of shoes and boots.
“If I walk in deep enough do I end up in Narnia?” Cassie turned around.
“I told you I don’t have anything to do but shop. Maybe I should get another puppy to keep Poodles company, or I could start a dog-walking business. The only problem is dogs Poodles’s size don’t like to actually walk, they want to be carried. And I miss him, Cassie. I propped our wedding photo on Carter’s pillow and I talk to it before I go to bed. Honestly, sometimes I think I’m going crazy.” Alexis collapsed onto a velvet ottoman.
“When Carter gets back from Yugoslavia or wherever he is, tell him you want a job.” Cassie fingered a silk shirt with pearl buttons.
“Carter’s ego is bigger than his bank account. He doesn’t want his wife in the workforce; he thinks it makes his penis smaller.”
“I’ll settle for a husband with a small penis, as long as he keeps it in his pants.” Cassie touched gabardine slacks in a pink-and-black check.
“What do you think, miniskirt and boots for the retro ‘I’m too hip to give a fuck’ look or cashmere twin set with pearls for the ‘I’m too good for you, I’m a former deb’ message?” Alexis held up a pink-and-white mini and white Moon Boots and a cashmere pleated skirt and matching sweater.
“How about jeans and a T-shirt that says ‘You broke my heart’?” Cassie slumped down on the ottoman.
“Aidan is coming to see you with his tail between his legs. You hold the power, dress accordingly,” Alexis admonished her. “How about this Stella McCartney dress with Tory Burch pumps?”
“Dress designed by the daughter of Aidan’s favorite Beatle. Shoes by New York socialite who started her own fashion empire.” Cassie held the dress up in front of the mirror.
“By George, I think she’s got it.” Alexis grinned. “And we’ll tease your hair into a Jennifer Lopez tousle.”
“What is a Jennifer Lopez tousle?” Cassie tried on the burgundy pumps with the round gold buckles.
“I learned it in my hair design class; you’re going to love it.”
* * *
The doorbell rang as Alexis put the finishing touches to Cassie’s makeup. Cassie studied herself in the full-length mirror. The dress was navy with burgundy trim. The wide leather belt made her waist look small and the thick black mascara made her lashes seem wet. Alexis brushed a light bronzer on her cheeks “so you don’t look like you’re dying of consumption,” and pinned her hair with a diamond Tiffany clip. “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend,” she said, examining her handiwork. “What do you think?”
“I think I’d rather be in my garden wearing gardening gloves and a co-op T-shirt.” Cassie adjusted the diamond hair clip.
“How about a shot of brandy for courage?”
“I still feel as if my head’s about to crack open.”
“You look gorgeous. Better than Jennifer Aniston after she dumped John Mayer. Where do you want to meet Aidan?”
“Not the living room, I’d feel like Queen Elizabeth. And not the library, too Donald Trump.” Cassie frowned.
“How about the conservatory?” Alexis sprayed Cassie with a bottle of Obsession.
“I didn’t know you had a conservatory.”
“Carter had it built after he returned from Vienna. It gets lovely light in the afternoon.”
Cassie sat down on the ottoman. “Aidan’s my husband and I feel like I’m going in front of the firing squad.”
“Remember, he’s the one who committed the crime.” Alexis pulled her to her feet. “And no bringing him up to the second floor. I don’t want him getting you horizontal until you know that’s what you want.”
“You mean no fucking.” Cassie grinned.
“You’re a fast learner.”
* * *
Cassie waited in the conservatory. It had a bay window overlooking the garden, and a white baby grand piano with a framed photo of Alexis and Carter in Gstaad. She heard the door open but she didn’t turn around. Aidan put his hand on her shoulder and sat down on the piano stool beside her.
“I’ve missed you.” He pulled her against his chest. She could hear his heart beating and taste coffee and cinnamon on his breath.
“I’ve missed you too.” She got up and sat down on the armchair by the window.
“I brought you a present.” Aidan handed Cassie a brown paper bag. He wore tan slacks, a brown turtleneck, and loafers.
“What is it?” Cassie took out Maria’s Burberry lunch box.
“I made a sun-dried tomato panini with a special pesto sauce.”
“Thanks.” Cassie put the lunch box on the side table. “I’m not really hungry.”
“Christ, Cassie”—Aidan stood above her—“I was so worried you were sick and Alexis wouldn’t let me near you. This has gone on long enough. You need to come home.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready to come home,” Cassie replied.
“Do you want me to beg?” he said angrily. “I will never meet a student outside of office hours again. I fucked up, Cassie, I know I fucked up.” Tears sprang to his eyes.
Cassie gulped. The only times she had seen Aidan cry were when he and Isabel fought. When Isabel was a little girl she’d storm up to her room and Aidan would hunch over the kitchen table, eyes filling with tears. Cassie would sit in his lap, wrap her arms around him, and tell him he was a great dad.
“I know you do.” Cassie nodded.
“I haven’t lied to you and I won’t lie to you, ever.” Aidan walked to the window. “I’ve almost finished my paper. If it gets accepted, we can go to the conference together. It’s in Florence in April. We can take day trips to Venice and Rome. Remember the pine nut pasta with pesto sauce we ate in Rome?”
“Yes.”
“I made the same pesto sauce for the panini. Try it.” Aidan picked up the lunch box and snapped it open.
Cassie smelled tomatoes and garlic, oregano and onions. She took a small bite of the toasted bread. “I’m really not hungry.” She put it back in the lunch box.
“Then let’s go home and I’ll feed you soup till you get better. I’ll get the purple asparagus you love and make cream asparagus and mushroom.”
“You haven’t let me say anything,” Cassie interrupted, twisting her wedding ring on her finger.
“Sorry, old habit.” Aidan sat on the piano stool. “I’m listening.”
Cassie took a deep breath. “You don’t know what it’s like to have the image of you and Molly running through my head. It’s like a movie I can’t switch off. I want to love you, but the image doesn’t just go away.”
“Cassie, you have to love me,” Aidan pleaded. “I need you to love me.”
Cassie wanted to get up and sit next to him on the piano. She wanted him to play “Let It Be” or “The Long and Winding Road” or any other Beatles song they listened to while curled up on the sofa at night. She stood up and knocked over the lunch box. Panini and lettuce spilled on the floor. She bent down and stuffed bread and tomatoes back in the lunch box.
“Come here,” Aidan said, “I know an old Billy Joel song.”
“No.” Cassie sat down on the armchair. “I’m not ready, Aidan. I’m sorry.”
“What do you mean you’re not ready?”
“I’m going to stay with Alexis for a few weeks.”
“A few weeks? Christ, Cassie. What do you want me to do?” Aidan jumped up.
“I want you to wait,” Cassie said slowly.
Aidan rubbed his hands through his hair. He jammed his hands in his pockets and paced around the room. He walked back to the window, leaned down, and kissed Cassie softly on the lips. “Okay, I’ll wait.”
* * *
Alexis walked into the conservatory and placed Poodles in Cassie’s lap. “I just saw Aidan leave. He looked like Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands.”
“He wanted me to come home.” Cassie stroked the puppy’s fur.
“And your answer was?”
“That I need more time. Could I stay here for a while?”
“Of course you can! Carter won’t be home for two weeks. You can have the Scarlett O’Hara suite on the third floor.” Alexis sat down on the piano stool.
“You could always turn this house into a theme park if you need extra income.” Cassie grinned.
“Give me the scoop. Did Aidan get down on his knees and grovel?”
“He said he was really, really sorry.” Cassie nodded slowly. “If his paper gets accepted to the conference he wants us to go to Italy together.”
“Make-up travel is even better than make-up sex. He’ll take you to the most romantic places and feed you grapes and caviar.” Alexis walked over to the window. “Mmm, what’s that smell?”
“Aidan made me a sun-dried tomato panini.” Cassie pointed to the lunch box on the side table.
“It smells divine, can I have a bite? I’m starving. I did a two-mile run while Aidan was here.”
“It fell on the floor.”
“I don’t care. Pia keeps these floors clean as the White House.” Alexis opened the lunch box and picked up the sandwich.
“I knocked over the lunch box by accident and the sandwich fell out. I remembered the night I drove here: Aidan came home; I was sitting in the kitchen. He put the lunch box on the table. I made him lunch that day: roasted turkey sandwich on wheat bread. When I bent down to pick it up, there was a cupcake doily in the lunch box.”
“I don’t get it.” Alexis shook her head.
“I didn’t put a cupcake in his lunch box.”
“Oh, come on.” Alexis put the sandwich down. “An empty cupcake wrapper is hardly a matchbox from Motel Six. One of the other professors could have had a birthday, or he could have bought something at a bake sale on campus.”
“That’s my point.” Cassie handed the puppy to Alexis. “I can’t interrogate Aidan about every little thing, but I can’t doubt him either.”
“I’m still not seeing this clearly.” Alexis kissed the tip of Poodles’s nose.
“If Aidan had a cupcake wrapper in his lunch box before he fucked Molly I would have just thrown it away. Now I can’t stop thinking about it. Did Molly bake him cupcakes? Did another student give it to him? I can’t live with him unless I completely trust him.”
Alexis hugged Poodles. “Maybe I’m lucky Carter travels so much. I can’t watch his every move. What are you going to do?”
“Stay here for a while. Maybe with a little time and space I’ll be able to look at Aidan and not wonder what he’s been up to.” Cassie’s eyes filled with tears.
“I’m sorry, Cassie.”
“I’ll catch up on my reading.” Cassie brushed the tears away. “Maybe I’ll reread Anna Karenina or Madame Bovary.”
“Reading about women who didn’t have Internet access or cell phones isn’t very helpful.” Alexis fed Poodles a corner of the bread. “Their lives aren’t relevant.”
“Right now I’d like to go upstairs and lie down.” Cassie stood up.
“You have another visitor,” Alexis said sheepishly.
“Who?”
“Your mother called and I let slip that Aidan was here. She figured the quarantine was over and wanted to see you right away. You know I’m afraid of your mother. She’s in the library.”
“If she finds out what Aidan did, she’ll ship me off to Vegas and sign the divorce papers herself.” Cassie put her head in her hands.
“Tell her your house flooded and you’re staying here while they fix the roof.”
Cassie looked up and smiled. “You really are a good liar.”
“Fibber,” Alexis corrected her, “and always for the right reasons.”
* * *
Diana sat in the high-backed leather desk chair, tapping her cigarette holder on the desk. She wore a cowl-necked wool sweater with an ostrich-skin belt cinched at the waist. Her hair was brushed smoothly to her chin and she had a silk scarf tied at her throat.
“Alexis has an interesting decorator. I feel like I’m in a Dickens novel.” Diana glanced at the rows of leather-bound books lining the bookshelves. The floor was covered with an Oriental rug and an ivory elephant stood by the fireplace.
“She has a little too much time on her hands,” Cassie said. Looking at her mother, who was all pent-up energy and drive, Cassie suddenly felt exhausted. She wanted to go upstairs, drink hot tea, and climb into bed.
“You look dreadfully pale and there are huge circles under your eyes.” Diana eyed Cassie critically.
“I haven’t been on vacation, I had a fever for five days.”
“I don’t understand why you’re here.”
“Our roof leaked in the storm. Aidan and I thought it would be better if I recuperated somewhere dry.” Cassie studied the pattern on the Oriental rug.
“You should have come and stayed with me,” Diana replied huffily. She stood up and walked to the bookshelf. She wore three-inch ivory heels with delicate satin bows.
“You turned my room into a music room when I went to college.”
“You could have stayed in the guest room. When are you going back to Berkeley?” Diana asked.
“I love your shoes.” Cassie tried to change the subject. “New designer?”
“James is working faster than I expected. I want you to start buying food for the emporium.”
“I thought you came here to see if I was feeling better.” Cassie felt light-headed. She debated pouring a shot of brandy from the decanter on the sideboard.
“Of course, you shouldn’t come into the store till you’re rested. But you could contact growers by phone, make appointments. James has already ripped out the whole basement. He’s ordered the counters and food cases. You should see the artwork he commissioned: people carrying baskets of cherries, sacks of oranges, milling around a village square. It’s like a modern Bruegel, it’s fabulous.”
Cassie hesitated. “I don’t know, Mother, I’m really weak.”
“I hope this isn’t about Aidan. You can’t spend your life being his geisha. He can’t complain you’re spending too much time in the city if you’re staying here anyway.” Diana poured herself a shot of brandy.
Cassie closed her eyes. Aidan hadn’t consulted her before he gave Molly Payne her Christmas present. He hadn’t asked her if it was okay to visit a student’s apartment. He hadn’t required her permission to have sex with Molly on her futon.
“Okay, I’ll do it.” Cassie opened her eyes. “I won’t promise that I’m taking the position permanently. But while I’m staying here, I’ll give it a try.”
“I’m so pleased,” Diana said genuinely. She poured another shot of brandy and handed Cassie the glass. “I propose a toast: to a new era for Fenton’s.”
Cassie clinked crystal shot glasses. She swallowed the brandy. It burned her throat and hit the empty space in her stomach.