Chapter 17

Jess popped Fred’s letter in an envelope, sealed it and pressed a passionate kiss on the seal. Unfortunately the Body Shop lipgloss left a tell-tale smear. Jess took the envelope to the bathroom and tried to wipe the lipgloss off. But it just smeared it about even worse.

In the end she decided to do the sensible thing and kissed the envelope all over. Now it just looked as if it had fallen on to the floor of the sorting office and been trodden on by a postman whose route included a swampy area inhabited by incontinent donkeys.

OK, that was fine. Now she would go out and post it. She picked up her mobile phone and walked out of the room. She walked up and down the incredibly steep old main street until she found a post box. She posted the cards to Flora and Dad, took Fred’s letter out of her bag, and then hesitated. The next fingers to touch the letter would be Fred’s. Her fingers kind of burned excitedly as she let it go.

A few moments later she realised that the next person to touch the envelope would probably be a fat lady in the sorting office. Things are never quite as magical as one would hope.

Next Jess bought some credit for her mobile phone. At last communication could be restored between her and her beloved – well, all her beloveds, in fact. Her dad was certainly deeply beloved and Flora was the best friend in the world. First, though, Jess composed a text for Fred.

HOLIDAY GHASTLY. TRUST YOU ARE ALSO IN AGONY. HAVE JUST POSTED YOU A LETTER.

But when she tried to send it, she got the message, Failed. Oh no! There was no service here. She was tempted to ring him from a payphone, but she only had 20p with her – hardly enough for a cough. And anyway, he’d be working now – he worked every evening. His mobile would be switched off. And if he did pick up, he might be with Rosie.

It would be just awful to ring Fred if he was all polite and distant. Or, even worse, if he said he couldn’t talk and hung up on her. Possibly with mocking girlish laughter echoing in the background. It would be worse than not speaking to him at all.

Supper was in the hotel, because Granny was rather tired and couldn’t face climbing up the hill to a restaurant. Jess ordered chicken, even though she had completely lost her appetite.

Jess’s mum spent a lot of time talking about her alarm clock, and the fact that she couldn’t get it to work. This was a bit of a relief, because it took care of the conversation. Jess was also glad that her mum didn’t say anything weird and sad about men. Also, she had made an effort to look passable. She had changed into a black silk shirt and black crêpe trousers.

‘You look really nice tonight, Mum,’ said Jess pointedly. Her mum looked surprised and a bit panicky. ‘Black suits you. You should wear silver earrings, though.’

Jess’s mum was very obviously not wearing silver. Instead she had on a pair of earrings made out of painted wood shaped like palm trees. This was a major style failure, though possibly acceptable in Totnes.

Moments later Jess was to regret boosting her mother’s confidence with thoughtless compliments. A sweaty waiter approached.

‘Would you like to see the dessert menu?’ he asked. And Jess’s mum looked up at him and – horrors! – winked roguishly.

‘Some would say we were sweet enough already,’ she quipped. ‘But I have to admit I am secretly yearning for a slice of passion fruit pavlova.’

Jess hadn’t been planning on having a dessert, but the ordeal of having to watch her mum flirt again made her feel weak with shock, and only a portion of sticky toffee pudding could put strength back into her sinews.

‘OK, well, let’s get an early night, because in the morning we’re off to Berry Pomeroy Castle,’ said Mum, after the coffee. ‘The most haunted place in England.’

A thrill ran down Jess’s spine. She wondered what spooky experiences would be awaiting her tomorrow. Little did she know that, in the haunted tower, she was going to hear something that would make her hair stand on end with terror.