OH NO!”

Travis had been first to break through the thick bush and find the path leading down into the camp. But when he did he saw that Nish’s mad plan was already under way.

Fahd was waving frantically from near the flagpole. He was trying to catch Nish’s attention. Nish was standing behind the boys’ tent with Andy and Lars. Lars caught the signal and punched Nish’s shoulder.

They peeked around the side of the tent just in time to see Sam leave the dining hall and head for the women’s outhouse.

Nish broke across the camp at full speed, jumping from tree to bush to tree, as if no one would notice.

Sam went inside the outhouse and closed the door.

“What’s going on?” Sarah asked from behind Travis.

“It’s Nish’s revenge,” Travis said. “He’s wired the outhouse for when Sam goes.”

“‘Wired the outhouse’?”

“He set some fireworks. He’s going to fire them off when she’s in there.”

“That’s dangerous!”

“Nish claims it’s only a couple of big firecrackers, and they’re well below the seat in a wire cage.”

“How’d he get down in there?”

“He won’t say.”

“He’s insane.”

“I know, I know.”

Nish was now racing as fast as he could to the men’s outhouse. Fahd already had the door open. Nish was in in a flash. Fahd shut the door and ran for the tent.

“What’s happening?” Sarah asked.

“He’s got this long fuse and he’s going to light it from where he is.”

“He knows what he’s doing?”

“Nooo–but when has that ever stopped him?”

They waited. Sarah seemed apprehensive, worried about her friend. Travis was nervous as well, but worried also about his friend, Nish. He couldn’t afford to get in any more trouble here.

There was a long pause. They could hear giggling coming from the direction of the boys’ tent. Andy was making farting noises under his arm.

“How mature!” Sarah said.

They waited, but nothing happened. After a while the door to the women’s outhouse opened and Sam came out. She walked right past Nish’s hideout and washed her hands in the outside basin.

Still there was no explosion.

The boys had left the safety of their hideout behind the tent and were moving closer to the scene of the misfire.

“Nish?” Fahd called tentatively.

The door to the men’s outhouse slipped open and a furious-looking Nish stepped out. He found the fuse on the ground and began tracing it along to the women’s outhouse. He opened the door and slipped inside.

“What’s that?” Sarah asked.

“Nish’s fuse,” Travis said. “It didn’t work.”

“No–what’s that?” Sarah repeated.

She was pointing back to the men’s outhouse. From the grass just outside came a small puff of smoke, followed by a little burst of light that sizzled and sparked and raced along the fuse right behind Nish.

Travis couldn’t help himself: “Nnniiiiiisshhhhh!”

KAAAAA-BOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!

KAAA-POWWWWWWWW!

Travis had never seen anything like it. The women’s outhouse seemed to jump about three feet in the air before crashing back down and wobbling from side to side. Smoke billowed from the air vent.

The door opened.

Out walked Nish, his arms straight down and his blinking eyes forming pink holes in the dark sludge that coated him from the top of this head to his sandals.

Nish was covered–completely, absolutely, and disgustingly–from head to foot in human waste!

“Very funny! Very, very funny!”

But it was very funny. No matter what Nish said. Sam laughed so loud and long she eventually pitched over onto her side and kicked her legs like she was riding an imaginary bike. Sarah laughed so hard she fell down on her knees. Fahd was crying he was laughing so hard. And Travis was laughing so hard he couldn’t speak.

“Stay still, you idiot!” Mr. Dillinger shouted.

But even Mr. Dillinger was laughing. He was trying to be tough, but it wasn’t working. Mr. Dillinger had a garden hose out and was standing a safe ten feet away from Nish and spraying him with the nozzle on full. Nish was turning, round and round and round, as the hose cut through the sludge and, slowly, a pink and highly embarrassed Wayne Nishikawa began to emerge.

When Mr. Dillinger had sprayed the worst parts with water, he shut off the hose and threw a bar of soap at Nish. “In the river, Mr. Manure,” he said, fighting back a giggle. “You’ve got a good day of scrubbing ahead of you before anyone will even go near you.”

Nish fumbled the soap, bent to pick it up, and slipped and fell, which only caused more laughter. He cradled the soap and began walking down towards the beach. When he reached the water he just kept on walking, almost as if he expected to walk across to the other side of the wide Ottawa River, but eventually he bobbed to the surface and began singing as he scrubbed.

He had obviously decided there was no use in fighting it. He may as well join in on the laughs.

“I do think he’s insane, you know,” Sarah said as she and Travis watched from the shore.

“He’s different, that’s for sure,” said Travis. “I think he’s neat!”

Both Travis and Sarah turned at once.

It was Sam, flushing beneath her flaming red hair.