I read an article a while back that discussed a long-standing stereotype about women—that they are not as good at fixing things as men. The article suggested that there may have been some truth to that perspective in the past, but there was an unexpected reason: they’d been given cheap tools.
Manufacturers marketed the best-quality tools to men, assuming that women didn’t need good tools if they didn’t have the skills. But the article suggested that because they had inferior tools, women were limited in what they could do. Give them the right tools, and their skill level would increase.
That’s an interesting premise and leads to a valid point: If we don’t have the right tools, we won’t be able to get the best results.
The same is true in communication. To build world-class conversations, we need the best possible tools. We’ve picked up tools throughout our lives that we use when we communicate with others. Some of those tools are effective, while others need to be replaced. Sometimes we’re limited in what we can do because the exact tool we need is missing from our toolbox.
The key to handling tough conversations is to have the tools we need for construction, maintenance, and repair. In this section, we’ll explore six tools that are essential for the best results:
If the tools are missing, we can obtain them. If they’re inferior, we can replace them. It doesn’t matter if we’re building, repairing, or maintaining our relationships; we can’t engage in effective conversations if we don’t have the right tools.
What’s in your toolbox?