Several years ago, I came across an announcement for an “Ultimate Workshop” sweepstakes. If I submitted my name and was chosen, I would win a collection of tools that would make any craftsman salivate. The collection included every tool I could ever wish for—power tools, hand tools, auto tools, and the cabinets to hold them all. There were hundreds of tools included in the grand prize.
“If I had all those tools,” I thought, “I could build anything. I would be a master craftsman.”
The problem is that having the “ultimate workshop” or the “ultimate kitchen” or the “ultimate gym” isn’t enough. The tools won’t do anything by themselves; they have to be put to use by someone who knows what they’re doing. It doesn’t matter how good my tools are if I have no woodworking skills. A dream kitchen is useless if I don’t know anything about cooking. I can get hurt with exercise equipment if I don’t know how to work out.
Half of any project is having the right tools. The other half is knowing what to do with them.
In previous chapters, we’ve picked up the tools for healthy conversations. Now we need to learn how to use them. In this section, we’ll explore six skills that utilize the tools in our toolbox:
These aren’t the only skills, but they’re foundational. If we practice them regularly, we’ll have the potential for relationships in which effective communication thrives.
Keep your toolbox handy, and let’s explore these critical skills for using our tools effectively.