You probably picked up this book because you have important relationships in your life and you want to make them better. Maybe the communication has been strained and the conversations have been tough. You’re afraid the connection is getting weaker, and you don’t want the downward spiral to continue. Or maybe your relationships are great and you just want to keep them that way.
We can’t have relationships without real, honest communication. When conversations get tough, we have two main options: engage or disengage. If we engage effectively, communication grows and provides a foundation for the relationship. If we disengage, there’s nothing to work on.
That’s why we can’t text a tough conversation; we have to engage with each other. The danger of technology alone is that it tricks us into thinking we’re engaging when we’re really disengaging. Electronics send words back and forth, but it’s a poor substitute for looking each other in the eyes. If we text instead of talk, it’s like walking out the door, glancing back, and saying, “Oh, by the way, I lost our life savings gambling last week.”
Technology is an enhancement to our connections, not a substitute. When used effectively, it can be a great add-on for our conversations. But our relationships will grow when we use the tools and practice the skills of effective communication face-to-face. We start by creating safety in a relationship where there’s freedom to grow together.
Communication might take time, and it will definitely take work. It’s an investment, and the dividends can be huge. There are no guarantees, but it’s the best chance we have for a meaningful and satisfying life.