Chapter Five

They had been running for less than an hour and already Isabel’s feet throbbed. Even the extra layer Duncan had wrapped around her toes could not prevent slush leeching to her skin. Her legs ached from the intense effort it took to wade through the deep snow. Her stomach made loud, growling noises. She put a hand to her belly in a useless attempt to silence it.

Duncan glanced over his shoulder. “I’m hungry, too.”

It irritated her that he seemed to know her so well. It was as if he sensed her feelings. Did he know she hungered for his touch? And that even though she had behaved shamefully, when she had lain with him, she wanted more? Yes, he knew. He was aware of her the way she was of him. His desire rolled off him in waves, a desire that matched her own. Was it so wrong to want him? It was not just his passion that touched her but his caring. He cared for her and made her feel cherished. It surprised her to realize she wanted to marry him. She could go with him and disappear, no one would miss her. Her brother probably thought she was already dead. No one would look for her. If only she didn’t have to deliver that damned letter.

The sun had just cleared the horizon when they arrived back at the riverbank. Snow hung on the trees and lined the shore, a mist rose from the water giving the highlands a fairylike quality. Isabel wondered if she had entered an enchanted land.

Duncan stopped, pulling her behind a tree. He pressed his body to hers, his warmth sinking into her, and then put a finger to his lips as a signal to be quiet while he watched the river. She obeyed, relishing his closeness. Finally, when he was satisfied, he took her by the hand and led her to a small leather-skinned boat.

“Get in,” he commanded

She obeyed, silently.

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

Panic gripped her and she grabbed his hand, “Where are you going?” she whispered.

“To get food,”

“I don’t need any.” Even though she was weak from lack of nourishment, she would rather be hungry than be apart from him. What if something happened to him?

He smiled and touched her face. “You need to eat and so do I. It’ll be all right, don’t worry.”

“I’m coming with you.” She started to climb out of the boat.

“No.” He gently pushed her to a sitting position.

“But—”

“It’ll be all right. They won’t even know I’m there. I promise. I’m not going to fight anyone.”

“I could watch out for you.”

He smiled again, held her face and laid a gentle kiss on her bruised cheek.

“You crash through the forest like a charging beast. If I’m to do this without being seen, you have to stay here.”

Without another word he was gone leaving Isabel to stare after him. Had she just been caressed and insulted at the same time?

“Charging beast, indeed.”

Agitated, she twisted the hem of her tunic. She should have insisted on going with him. What if something terrible happened? Needing a distraction, she reached into her tunic and pulled out the leather purse. Working quickly, she unwrapped the binding, opened the pouch, and peered inside. Everything seemed all right. She pulled the letter out and turned it over in her hand. There was a little water damage along one edge, but the seal remained intact. Brother Mark had told her the letter contained information the king needed. She had to deliver it. How could she live with herself if she didn’t? Sighing, she placed it back in the purse and rewrapped the binding. Then, she tucked it back inside her tunic, pulled the plaid tight around her shoulders, and waited for Duncan to return.

After what seemed like hours, a restless anxiety clawed at her. Where could he be? The mist that blanketed the river dissipated. What if he was in trouble? She climbed out of the boat to go in search of him. A movement in the trees caught her eye. She froze and watched as one of the trees seemed to move. A figure emerged and strode toward her. Duncan. She was so happy to see him she threw her arms around him, kissed his cheek, then jumped back into the boat. Without a word he passed her a cloth bundle, and followed her in, untying the rope as he went. He grabbed the oars and began rowing upstream, easily fighting the current with sure, strong strokes.

“This is better than running,” Isabel said after a few minutes.

He grinned. “Eat.”

She opened the bundle to find a heaped pile of oatcakes. She inhaled the scrumptious aroma of ground oats mixed with lard. Plain food and yet to her it was a grand feast.

“Would you like one?” Remembering her manners, she held the bundle out to him.

“No, you eat, just save me some. I want to get us further downstream before I stop.”

“I’ll wait for you.” She rewrapped the package.

“No, you’re too hungry.”

She was hungry, yes, but how did he know? She had not said anything. Her stomach had grumbled but that was all. He always seemed to know what she was thinking. Then, as if reading her mind again, he said,

“You haven’t been able to take your eyes off the food since I climbed in the boat.”

She nibbled on a small piece of oatcake and wondered why she wasn’t annoyed with him for reading her mind. He seemed to notice everything. She was used to being invisible. In fact, she was used to being ignored. His attention made her feel special and that was dangerous because it made him even more tempting.

****

Isabel watched the muscles of Duncan’s arms contract and expand. They had been in the boat for about an hour, and in that time she had become mesmerized by his physique. Not just his arms but also his long, articulate fingers and his striking blue eyes, eyes that were always watchful and alert. Was he ever relaxed? The MacDougalls had considered him such a threat that killing was not enough. They had wanted him humiliated and broken. For the Campbells to lose a warrior of Duncan’s stature would be devastating. Were his clan looking for him?

“Why were you scouting the MacDougall’s? Are you at war with them?” she asked.

He stared at her for a moment. “I lied when I told you that.”

“Why would you do that?

“I had a fight with my brother, Niall. He’s laird of the Campbells. I stormed out of his castle in a rage and rode hard. I mustn’t have been paying attention because the MacDougalls caught me. It was a stupid thing to do.”

“What did you fight about?”

“Marriage.”

“Whose marriage yours or his?” Her heart thudded in her chest. Goosebumps rose on her arms. Please don’t let him be married.

“Mine.”

Tears stung her eyes and she turned her head so he couldn’t see her face.

“How could you enter into a fistfast marriage with me when you are already married to someone else?”

“Handfast. The term is handfast. And I am not married to anyone else. We fought because I refused to marry the woman he and the king had picked for me.”

“Why? Don’t you like her?”

“I don’t even know her.”

“Then how do—”

“She’s not you.”

“Oh.” She smiled.

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Me.” She brushed tears from her eyes. How was she ever going to leave this handsome, wonderful, difficult, overbearing man?

“Don’t cry. Is it so bad that I want you?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. You don’t even know me.”

“I know everything I need to know. You are pretty.” He held up a hand before she could protest. “I think you’re beautiful, honest, good, and kind. And I enjoy arguing with you. “

“You can’t possibly know those things about me,” she said, trying to come up with some flaw in his thinking. By admitting his feelings he left her with an impossible decision to make. If she thought he didn’t really care for her then she wouldn’t have to decide between him and delivering the letter.

“Of course I can. I knew the first time I met you.”

“You mean when I punched you in the dungeon.” Her face burned with the memory.

He chuckled.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I behaved badly and you put me in my place and you still eased my pain.”

“Anyone would have done the same.”

“I don’t think so.”

“How old are you?” she asked, suddenly wanting to know everything about him.

“Twenty-eight, and you?”

“Nineteen. Have you ever been married?”

“Yes, once. My wife died in childbirth.”

“And the child?”

“The baby died, too.”

“I’m sorry.” She sat quietly. There were no words to ease such a loss.

“You will hear gossip about my marriage,” he said breaking the silence.

“What kind of gossip?”

“I tried to be a good husband, but she had expectations I couldn’t meet.”

“What kind of expectations?”

“She was a high-born lady from the lowlands. She was used to a certain amount of luxury, luxury I couldn’t provide.”

“Oh.”

“And she couldn’t speak Gaelic. I suppose she got lonely. I caught her in the arms of another.”

“What? How could she do that to you? How could—”

He stopped rowing and gave her a quick kiss on the lips to quiet her. “It’s all right, but I have no intention of marrying another high-born lady. That’s why I was so angry. My brother knew how I felt, what I’d been through, and he still let the king arrange this marriage. I won’t go through with it.”

“Why are we heading to Campbell territory if you’re at odds with your brother?”

“He’s still kin. He will feed us and give us shelter, and if he can’t accept our union then we’ll sail to the Isle of Skye. I have family there.”

“You would do this for me? Why?”

“I’m a warrior. I have fought many battles and seen too much blood. I have lost friends and kin. I’m so tired of all the fighting. I’m tired of everything. It’s as if part of me has died. When I’m with you I feel alive again, whole.”

Isabel could not speak, could not say a word. She wanted to ease his pain, see him smile and laugh. But most of all she wanted to forget about delivering the letter and stay with him.