Arabella paced outside of Felix’s front door. She’d driven straight to his place after visiting the first lawyer who answered her call this morning. She’d laid a hefty sum on the man’s desk to draw up the divorce paperwork right then and there. She’d just stood there, not believing this was her life, as he’d filled in a standard form.
How had it come to this? She frowned. The answer sucked—she hadn’t given it her all, and she’d let their love disappear. But, the thing was, it hadn’t. She loved Felix, all his gruffness and hard edges and soft heart. And even his deceit. He was a good man who made her laugh and who understood her world. Understood her. And she knew him and how he operated.
She wore black heels, black pants cuffed close to her ankle, and a sheer white, sleeveless dress shirt, and she had a one-way ticket in her hand to Naples, Italy. Home was where she was going to start deciding who she was now and what she wanted to be.
She stared a hole through his bland cream door and took a deep breath. It was now or never. Disappearing would only put off the inevitable, and he deserved closure. They both did. Even if she really didn’t want to leave him.
She knocked on the door, stood tall, and stuck out her chin a little. I don’t care. This is another transaction. This is for the best. If she were going to get through this, she would have to act like he was one of her marks and she was sultry, confident, and didn’t give a damn. So the complete opposite of how she really felt. There’d be time to cry in the plane bathroom later and when she was home in her seaside villa.
The door swung open, and Felix filled the frame. The hard set to his face was carved in stone, which was rigid even for Felix.
“Good morning.” Her voice was light and playful, exactly what she was going for. She met his eyes with a coy smile and stepped toward him, forcing him to move to the side. She clenched the envelope in her hand a little tighter as she walked to the island and pivoted to face him. Her heart was racing out of control, but she knew he couldn’t tell. She was the only one who could hear her blood pumping and the thumping against her chest.
“It’s a little late for dinner.” He closed the door and stopped on the other side of the counter, folding his arms across his broad chest, ice in his eyes.
He had a right to be pissed. She should’ve begged off in a text. The problem was starting a conversation with him—once she started talking to him, she didn’t want to stop. She loved hearing his opinions, his ideas, his plans, their banter, and riling him up for fun.
“I stopped by to give you this before my flight.” She slid the manila envelope across the granite. “My part of the deal.”
He gazed down at the rectangle, but she desperately wanted to see his eyes. She needed affirmation this was what he wanted. He didn’t give it to her—when his eyes met hers again, there was no emotion, no indication he was hot under the collar or happy or sad. Nothing.
It was time to go. She’d overstayed her welcome in more ways than one.
“Thank you for your help, Felix. Really. If you ever need anything . . . ” She let her words trail off. She meant them, but they both knew he’d never call her if he were in trouble. They were never going to speak or see each other again. They had no reason to. This was it. Almost six years of her life gone.
She started for the door, concentrating on her breathing. One foot in front of another. She just had to make it to her rental. Just a few more steps.
“Arabella.”
She didn’t stop. She couldn’t now. Her hand touched the cold brass of the front doorknob.
“I have one more question.” His voice was low but sturdy.
Her head hung a bit as she waited. She closed her eyes. She never wanted to remember this moment again—if she could erase it all and a whole bunch of other key moments with Felix, maybe she had a chance at a decent life. As it looked now, she was going to be miserable and heartbroken forever.
“You could’ve gone to a number of people to help you out. Why did you come to me?”
She swallowed as her body numbed. There were a dozen different lies that she could tell him, some partial truths, but there was only one answer. And she’d known it all along.
“Because I missed you.” The words passed through her lips but were foreign to her ears. Vulnerability wasn’t something she embraced on a regular basis. There was no fake emotion or façade she could muster now—she had no power to put on a front or lie.
She was exposed. She was that defenseless young girl in the hospital bed all over again who was waiting for even the slightest bit of love from the people whom she loved the most in the world. Naive hope prickled the back of her ears
Her mind settled, and she realized he’d said nothing to her comment. She started to twist the handle.
“Don’t go.”
Her hand froze mid turn as his words registered. His deep voice was huskier.
She squared her shoulders and slowly turned around. Did he want to have the last word . . . or call off the divorce?
Her gaze found him in the same spot she’d left him—standing in front of the kitchen island, arms crossed. His head was sunk, and she focused on the long curve of his neck.
“Why?” She had so many more questions, but that was the biggie.
Her throat tightened. If the words professional security came out of his mouth, she was going to kill him for toying with her feelings.
She stepped closer to Felix, stopping at the short edge of the island.
“You want a new start. Start here.” His gaze rose and found her eyes. They were soft. Loving.
She wasn’t talking to military Felix; she was talking to her lover. Yet cues she normally looked for in his stance, the severity of his frown, the creases at the sides of his eyes, the muscle in his jaw, suddenly didn’t compute into a firm answer of his objective. She couldn’t judge his intended meaning without adding what she wanted to see, to hear, to feel. She was over being impartial when it came to Felix.
The envelope on the counter hadn’t been touched. Her life was sealed in that pocket. She should probably be grateful to Darek in some way—his hunt had led her to Felix and the realization that he wasn’t just part of her past that she had tucked away. He was a part of her. She loved life with him a hell of a lot more than she liked it without.
He was her everything.
“Say what you mean.” She gazed back to him, finding comfort in the blue of his stare. There was a time and place for their fun games. Now was not one of them.
His chest rose high before falling. “I don’t want a divorce.”
“And what does that look like in your world?” She shook her head. The status quo didn’t work for her anymore. She needed all of him or nothing. “We see each other once a year? That doesn’t work for me.” Before he could offer her some half-ass solution he thought would appease her, she continued. “I want everything. I want to love and live in the same home. I want to make a home. I want a new job with a purpose. I want kids.” She took a deep breath. “I’ve already asked for a discharge.”
“Good.”
“Good?” To which part?
“Yeah.” He stood inches away from her; his woodsy scent flowed over her and drew her in. “We can have all of that. Together.”
Her hair swooshed over her cheeks as she shook her head. “What makes you so sure we can make it this time? Our track record sucks.”
He grabbed the tan envelope and tore it in two, throwing the pieces back onto the counter. Her wedding band bounced on the counter and settled in the middle of them. Neither made a move for the little, diamond-encrusted silver ring that had once been a symbol of their love.
“Because this time we’re all in.” He searched her eyes, his entire being focused on her. “I know I am.”
His palms swept up her forearm to her shoulders then her neck. His thumb caressed her jawline and her entire body buzzed with anticipation. It was happening. A once-farfetched reality was at her fingertips. And she had no idea what to say.
“I’m in love with you, Mrs. Ibarra. I can’t see my life without you.” He kissed her lips gently, and then his gaze melted her little by little, promising her the world. And knowing Felix, he wouldn’t stop until she had just that. “Please stay.”
“It won’t be easy.” The sting of tears pinched at her cheeks.
“It never is with us. We’re fighters though. I think that’s why I love you so much, my wife.” He kissed her again, a long lazy kiss that made her forget where she was.
He reached for the ring, held it between his thumb and index finger, and smiled. He slipped the band on her ring finger and kissed the top of her hand.
He swept her up into his arms and carried her toward his bedroom. His kisses were heaven and felt like home. “I’ve always loved you, my husband.”