4. Are We Having Fun Yet?
Certain times of the year are supposed to be joyous and magical for your family, like Christmas and vacations. But for us moms, the planning and wrapping and packing for these events can be so time-consuming and stressful that when the special day arrives, we just want to curl up in a ball and sleep!
Here’s a tale of two Christmases. A mother of six frantically runs to the store at 5 PM on Christmas Eve. Her teenage children are baking cookies and trimming the tree. Frozen pizza is the meal for that night. As the children are dreaming of the wonderful toys that will appear tomorrow morning, Mom and Dad are up until 2 AM wrapping presents and putting toys together. The children awake at 6:30 AM ready to see what Santa has left. Mom and Dad beg them to stay in bed one more hour.
Another Christmas, Mom has done all her shopping online by December 6. The house and tree were decorated by December 17, when they had a little cocktail party for couples in the neighborhood. On Christmas Eve, the family has a nice lasagna dinner and they go to church at 7 PM for the candlelight service. After the children are in bed, Mom and Dad place the presents around the tree, put one toy together and have a glass of wine. They go to bed at 11 PM and awake at 6:30 AM with the children.
My solution is to plan ahead, be efficient with preparation time, and keep it simple. Then you can enjoy yourself when that magical day arrives.
Our society makes such a big deal about the Christmas season that red and green decorations appear in stores before all the Halloween candy has been eaten. I’ve told myself many times that I’m not going to think or worry about Christmas until after Thanksgiving. But if you go shopping, you can’t avoid it. So think about the holiday in a “planning ahead” way as opposed to a “buying frenzy” way. In planning any big event, you should start with a good list and a budget.
Create Christmas card labels. Right now, you probably have a good idea of who you like to send Christmas cards. If you are working from a handwritten address book that is wearing out, it’s time to join the age of technology and put your Christmas card list on the computer. Find a way to create a sheet of mailing labels. If you don’t have the skills to create one yourself, have a friend or one of your children create one for you. Name the file “Christmas Cards” or “Addresses” or something simple, and update it throughout the year. I usually print out this file on regular paper in late November. My husband and I look it over to see who we want to add or subtract, or if there are any addresses we need to get. I mark the changes on paper, key them into the file, and print out the labels. I use a decorative type font and clear mailing labels that can be purchased at any office supply store. When it comes time to send Christmas cards, we have an assembly line where I sign the card, someone stuffs the envelope and someone else puts the mailing label and stamp on. This can be done in one evening early in December.
Make two gift lists. An essential list for Christmas is the list of people you want to buy gifts for. This list should include family members, teachers or neighborhood helpers (like the baby-sitter or the bus driver), office Pollyannas, and charity donations. Put the list in your daily planner so you can add to it as you go about your normal day. The second gift list I keep in my planner all year long is a list of gift ideas for my family members and close friends. Sometimes I see a book or a clever toy and think, “My nephews would like this.” If I don’t write it down, I’m at a loss for what to get them when it comes time to shop. Like the perpetual food list, it’s a perpetual gift list which can be used for Christmas and birthday ideas.
Set a budget. Remember, the more you buy, the more you have to organize! So look at your list and set a reasonable limit for your family. Write down the budgeted amount next to each name, and when you buy the present, record the actual price. Keep in mind that younger children do not know the prices of things. If you’re trying to keep it even among the children in your family, look at the number of presents instead of the cost. It’s normal to spend more on the older children and less on the little ones. Don’t feel bad, their time will come!
There are many sales around Christmas time, so if you buy a $25 sweater for $15 and your budget for that person was $25, don’t feel like you have to spend $10 more. They are receiving a $25 present. Keep the difference (you might need it for someone else’s gift) and move on to the other people on your list.
Once you decide your total budget, think about how you will pay for these items. Will you use one credit card for everything? Will you pay cash? Or will you do a combination of the two? Whatever the case, make a decision and stick to it. I also recommend saving all the Christmas receipts in one envelope in case someone needs to return something after the holidays.
Shop efficiently. In this age of technology you really can make your shopping easy if you want to. First, decide what type of shopper you are: do you like to take your time and be inspired as you browse, or do you know exactly what you want for each person and it’s a matter of getting it? If you enjoy going out to the stores, start looking at the newspapers in November and keep ads from stores that you want to go to. Map out which stores are close together. If you want to spread out the shopping, plan to go to one or two stores each day. That way you won’t feel rushed. Some people like to pick up Christmas gifts all year long, but if you do this you have to have a hiding place where you can store them and not forget about them!
If you are someone who doesn’t buy until you know exactly what you want, I suggest shopping online whenever possible. You can shop at several stores in one hour if you do it that way! Another way to shop efficiently is to buy the same type of present for several people. For example, if you are buying gifts for four teachers, give them all the same thing.
Try to finish your shopping a few days before Christmas. It will give you time to wrap presents, prepare the holiday meal and enjoy the beauty of the season.
Decorations. One of the first things I do to get ready for Christmas is to pull out the decorations around the first weekend in December. I love to put the electric candles and wreaths in the windows so our house is decorated from the outside. Then I have the kids help me spread our inside decorations throughout the house. The last decorating we do is the Christmas tree, which usually happens one week before Christmas. We typically take it down one week after New Year’s Day.
When packing away the decorations, I keep them separated by where they will go. All the little ornaments are carefully wrapped in smaller boxes inside a big plastic storage container. The outside wreaths, candles and extension cords are put into plastic garbage bags. The inside decorations fit into two other plastic storage bins. By separating them this way, I can take out one box at a time to do the decorating and leave the tree ornaments where they are until the tree is up in its stand. We decorate in stages, setting aside one day for each. Use your month-at-a-glance calendar to schedule these activities at the beginning of the month.
Decide where and when the festivities will take place. For many families, a source of the stress is where to go for the holiday meal. There are often two sides of the family to consider, and for some families, close friends or neighbors may want to celebrate with them. Decide where to go as early as possible. A standing tradition makes it much easier. When I was first married, my husband and I decided that we would alternate Thanksgiving, spending it with his family one year and mine the next. Christmas was more important to us, so we decided to spend Christmas Eve with his family and Christmas Day with mine. It’s not always at the same place or the same time of day, but everyone in our family knows what to expect. This is especially important if you come from a family where guilt comes into play. First and foremost, you should consider how your immediate family wants to spend the holidays and how your children will feel about traveling on Christmas Day. Do what makes you happy and not necessarily what you think you “should” do.
Keep the meals simple. Where there are families and holidays, there is eating! A traditional Christmas meal of turkey or ham with all the trimmings looks wonderful in the magazines, but is it realistic? And if you have two or more get-to-gethers over the holidays, can they all look picture perfect? Probably not. Sometimes it depends on what day of the week Christmas falls. If you are working until 4 or 5 PM on Christmas Eve, a big meal is not convenient. Have lasagna or pizza or sandwiches and save the big meal for Christmas Day. If you have a fancy Christmas Eve dinner, serve cold cuts on Christmas Day. Like organizing, there’s no right or wrong way to make the Christmas meal, there’s only what works well for you. Keep this in mind before you set your expectations too high.
If you are hosting the meal for a large group, there’s nothing wrong with asking everyone to bring something. You can take care of the main dish and other people can bring the wine, rolls, a vegetable dish and a couple desserts. If you’re all going to Grandma’s house, make sure you plan something for the children to do like a craft, a movie, or games. It will keep them from tearing apart Grandma’s house and may give you some time to chat with the adults.
Follow these guidelines to plan ahead for your holiday season and your house will be decorated, presents will be wrapped, the meal will be easy to prepare and everyone will enjoy Christmas Day. Remember, it’s the same time every year so there’s no excuse for not being ready!
As a general rule, getting ready to go on vacation shouldn’t take longer than the vacation itself. If you have implemented my tips for doing weekly household chores, you may have to switch things around a little the week before vacation. When you make your trip to the food store the week before vacation starts, include any special items that you will need to take with you. It’s not an extra trip to the store, it’s just a bigger order. When you wash clothes the week before vacation, pack everyone’s clothes that night or the next day so they don’t wear them before you leave.
A typical schedule the week before vacation may look like this:
Make a packing list. Many families rent a house in the mountains or at the beach every year. If you take the same type of vacation every year, you can standardize your packing list so you don’t have to start from scratch. Be general when you type up your list so you don’t have to change it every year. For example, write “five shorts outfits, three pajamas” instead of “green shorts, tan T-shirt, blue pajamas, plaid boxers.” I usually have my children, who are age six and older, pack their own clothes. I give them guidelines by telling them how many pajamas, short sets and bathing suits and let them decide which ones. I check the clothes before they go in the suitcase but they do most of the work. Then I give them each a bag to fill with toys, videos and books of their choosing. I give them the freedom to decide, but limit the space that all those items will take up.
For the food portion of the list, plan out dinners for the week and make sure you have some staples for lunch and breakfast. For the first night of vacation, it’s convenient to pack something pre-made so you can just pop it in the oven. For the last night of vacation, don’t plan a meal. Just eat the leftovers from the week so you don’t have to bring them back home. Depending on where you are staying and how close you’ll be to a supermarket, you’ll want to decide ahead of time whether to pack all the food or go shopping once you get there.
If you are taking a plane trip instead of driving, the packing is easier. Airlines limit what you can bring on board and you won’t have to pack food. As you’re making your list for this type of trip, think about what the children will need for the traveling portion and what they will want once they are at your destination. Plane trips can take longer than expected, so it’s a good idea to bring some surprise toys or crafts with you. For my children’s first plane trip, a friend suggested I bring Crayola Color Wonder coloring books and paints. These are finger paints and magic markers that look clear but turn colors on the special paper. They don’t make a mess. My children had a ball with them.
Once your packing list is printed out, take it with you on vacation. As you think of things you need, add to the list. As you find things you packed but didn’t need or use, cross them off. You can even use this list to pack up when vacation is over so you don’t forget any odds and ends. When you get home, update the list on your computer so you’re ready for next year.
Weather. I once heard someone say, “There is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.” How true this is! You don’t have to let bad weather spoil your vacation. You just have to have a Plan B. Use the Internet to check the weather for wherever you are headed so you at least have an idea about the temperature and precipitation. Pack umbrellas and waterproof jackets for everyone in the family even if it’s supposed to be dry. Also consider the weather at home for your return trip. Have you ever seen someone at the airport in shorts when there’s a snowstorm outside? That person came from a tropical climate and didn’t think through what the weather would be like when he or she landed! You don’t have to pack a parka, but at least dress in layers.
Travel Information. The Internet is also a great place to start when planning your trip. Look up the city and surrounding areas for things to do, or go to a Web site for your hotel to see what amenities they have. You can also make reservations for special excursions or restaurants through some Web sites. Investigate your vacation spot, print out what you need and take it with you on the trip. When you get home you can trash it because it’s all still there on your computer.
While you’re there. Have you ever had a vacation that was so packed with activities that you needed another vacation when you came home? Think about that before you plan your next vacation. You want everyone to have fun, but you also want to build in some relaxation. In my experience, the children are usually worn out by midweek of the first week of vacation. Whether it’s the experience of an amusement park, going to a beach or visiting friends out of town, the change in schedules affects the children, so plan on it. Take one day and don’t do anything extra. Sleep late, go to bed early, lie around and watch movies or whatever suits your family. Take a “Sunday” in the middle of your vacation week and recharge everyone’s energy.
When children are infants, I’m a stickler for regular eating and sleeping schedules, but as they get older, you can be more flexible. If a toddler still takes a nap at home, you’ll want to keep that routine on vacation or you will have one cranky toddler. Sometimes it’s nice for you and your husband or the other adults with you to rotate “nap duty.” One adult stays at the house with the sleeping toddler or baby. If you have other children, the person with nap duty really has the easier job! You could also move the nap a little bit later in the day, like from 3-5 PM while you’re preparing dinner. Or if you are out at a theme park, plan to head home during nap time so the child can sleep in the car. Be flexible, but plan some nap time for the little ones and the whole family will appreciate it.
If you’re at your vacation destination and the weather is horrible, make the best of it. Remember, you’re still on vacation and away from the daily grind and normal routines, so take advantage of it. Play games like charades or cards, or do skits or sing songs. Bundle up and take a walk in the rain or the snow if you must. The children will take their lead from Mom and Dad, so remember to stay relaxed and positive and don’t complain.
My husband and I once had a crazy trip to Paris where everything went wrong on the first day. We started playing a game called “It could be worse, we could be...” and we took turns finishing that sentence with outlandish situations. In no time at all we were laughing hysterically. When you’re packing for vacation, remember to bring along your sense of humor!