ELI CAME OUT OF THE WASHHOUSE wearing clean clothes, his cowboy boots and a big smile. Mary Lee went to him before he reached the group waiting beside the back porch.
“One of these days soon you’re going to have to have a haircut,” she said softly, and pressed something in the hand between them.
“Ya don’t need to do that . . . ,” he whispered.
“Yes, I do. You’ve earned that and more. I want you to be able to pay your own way.”
“Well . . . thanks —”
Mary Lee kissed him on the cheek. “I’m proud of you.” He clung to her hand tightly. “Ya’ll let Jake stay with ya?”
“If he wants to.”
“Oh, he’ll want to.”
“What do you mean . . . ?”
“Come on, kid,” Deke called. “The little squirt’s gettin’ antsy. She’ll be gettin’ on her broomstick and flyin’ off if we don’t get goin’ soon.”
Eli and Trudy were going to the picture show with Deke. There had been a lot of teasing about it. Deke had said that he was afraid to be alone with the “little squirt” in a dark picture show and needed Eli to protect him. Trudy’s face had reddened; and in order to hide the excitement of going to the show, she had snatched off his hat and hit him with it.
Since Deke’s arrival three days ago, Trudy no longer came to the motor court wearing a faded old gingham dress but one that had been freshly washed, starched and ironed. Her mop of curls was tied with a ribbon, and her cheeks were flushed. It was plain to Mary Lee that her friend could see beneath the homely face of the little man who teased her. He was as sweet and caring and as vulnerable to hurt because of his size as she was.
Mary Lee watched the trio walk across the field behind the motor court and then turned to Jake.
“He’s awfully nice. I’ve never seen Trudy so happy.”
“They seem to like teasing each other.”
“I wish he wouldn’t leave, but when he does, she’ll be heartbroken,” Mary Lee said with a sigh.
“You like him?”
“Sure. I can’t help but to like him.”
“Are you tired, madrecita?”
“Why do you call me things in Spanish?”
“Why? So you won’t slap me.” They walked around to the front of the house.
“I wouldn’t slap you for calling me little mother.”
“How about ‘querida’?”
“What does it mean?”
“ ‘Stubborn little mule.’ ”
She cast an accusing glance up at Jake, whose green eyes were dancing with unconcealed mischief.
“It does not! I’ll ask Mr. Santez.”
“Better not. You might hear something you don’t want to know.” He shook his head. When he extended his hand, she put hers in it. “Shall we sit here on the edge of the porch, or do you want to walk down to my place, sit on the step and listen to the radio?”
“I’ve missed the radio,” she said wistfully. “But I’d better stay here where I can keep an eye on things. Mama is out there with Yancy. Frank will be released tomorrow.”
Jake reached for the straight-backed chair on the porch. He placed it on the ground. After she was seated, he sat down on the edge of the porch.
“You don’t have to stay with me.”
“I want to. Besides, I promised Eli that I’d not let you out of my sight until he got back.”
“Bless his heart. I’m getting awfully fond of him.”
“He obviously feels the same about you.”
“School starts in another month. He won’t want to go and leave me here alone, but he must.”
“Trudy will be here, won’t she?”
“I’m . . . not sure. But regardless, Eli has to go to school.”
“I agree. Maybe things will have settled down by then.”
“I don’t know. Mama is drinking more. It’s affecting her mind or she wouldn’t have said the things she said the other day.”
“Are Yancy and Frank furnishing the whiskey?”
“They must be. She’s already sold everything she could carry out of the house.”
“Someone is giving them money,” he said thoughtfully. “Yancy’s a cowhand. They get thirty a month and board. Frank couldn’t be making much digging ditches.”
“Could it be Mr. Clawson?”
“No. Ocie isn’t sneaky. He wouldn’t use deadbeats like Yancy and Frank to do his dirty work.”
“Who, then? And for goodness’ sake, why?”
“Maybe someone who thinks the motor court belongs to your mother.”
“They should know better than that by now. Mama wanted Trudy and Eli to clean the cabin Frank claims to have rented. I told them they didn’t have to do it, so they made themselves scarce. Mama threw bottles, boxes and all kinds of trash out the door along with the sheets and towels. Eli picked it all up, and I didn’t even ask him to do it.
“Then she took clean sheets and towels off the clothesline. She’s getting the cabin ready for Frank.” Mary Lee suddenly cried and stretched out her leg.“Oh, oh . . .”
“What’s the matter?”
“I’ve got a . . . cramp!”
Jake grasped her leg, laid it across his lap, and with strong fingers massaged the hard muscles of her calf while holding her foot with the other hand. When the muscles refused to loosen, he got to his feet, grasped her beneath her arms and lifted her.
“Put all your weight on it.”
Clinging to him weakly, she did as she was told. When he walked backward, she was forced to take a few steps. Then, with his forearm beneath her armpit, he urged her to walk. They made their way slowly around to the back of the house.
“Does this happen often?”
“Every once in a while. It usually happens at night. I get up and hold on to the end of the bed until it goes away.”
“How much longer?”
“Until the baby comes? September twenty-eighth is the due date. It could be a week sooner or a week later.”
“Are you anxious to get it over?”
“Not really. I have a lot to do between now and then.”
“Like what?”
“Well . . . I’ve got to make enough here to pay off the loan. I need to make baby clothes, although Mrs. Santez lent me some things. I need to get a basket for the baby to sleep in and —I’m worried about Mama. I don’t think she would hurt the baby, but she wouldn’t look after it either.”
“Do you have names picked out?”
“Yeah. Gaston.” She grinned up at him.
“If it’s a girl will you call her Gastonia?”
Mary Lee’s chuckle turned into a nervous giggle that kept on and on. Her head fell forward, her forehead resting on his chest.
Jake felt an urge to hold her. He couldn’t resist. He put his arms around her, pulled her up to him and held her firmly but gently. His cheek was against the side of her head, his nose in the hair above her ear, breathing in the sweet scent of her.
Oh, God. I’ve got the whole world right here in my arms . . . this precious girl and her baby. Dear Lord, I’d give ten years of my life if the baby growing inside her was mine.
When he felt the miracle of movement against his lower abdomen, he whispered, “I feel the baby moving.” She started to lean away from him. “No, please . . . stay still,” he said quickly. His hand moved soothingly up and down her back. “Gaston likes me. That’s the second time he’s kicked me.”
She tilted her head to look at him. “When?”
“The night you took the starch outta Frank. I was holding you like this.”
“Sometimes he really gets rambunctious.”
“He’s going to give his mama fits.” Jake chuckled, then stilled when she took his hand and placed it on her stomach, keeping her hand over his.
“Feel that?”
“Yeah.” There was a trace of awe in his voice.
Instead of being embarrassed at sharing this intimacy with him, Mary Lee felt a surge of elation.
Jake Ramero, this sometimes aloof man with eyes that can turn as cold as a frosty morning, a convicted rustler, hardened by years in the pen, truly cares about my baby.
He eased her down on the porch step and sat down close to her. With his arm around her he pulled her close while he stroked her rounded belly.
“Did you love him?” he whispered, his lips in her hair. She didn’t ask who he meant. She knew he wanted to know about Bobby, her husband.
“I cared about him, felt sorry for him. I didn’t love him like I’ve seen in the movies or read about in books.”
“Was he good to you? Did he hurt you?”
“He . . . hurt me only one time.”
“The son of a bitch!” The curse came in the form of a hissed whisper.
“He died shortly after that.”
“Did you like what he did . . . to make you pregnant?” His hand stroked her hair; his lips moved around to her forehead.
“Oh, Jake . . .”
“Did you?” he insisted.
“I knew nothing about . . . what happens between a man and a woman.”
“I wish this baby was mine.” His voice rose to a fervent whisper.
“I don’t feel like the baby is Bobby’s. He wouldn’t have wanted it. Poor little thing. It’ll only have me and I’ll love it. I know how it feels not to be wanted.”
“You’re wanted, querida.” He tilted her chin and kissed her sweetly, tenderly on the lips. It never occurred to her to turn away.
“We shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Why not? You like me a little, don’t you?”
“I like you a lot, Jake. But look at me.”
“I’m looking.” His big, rough hand cupped her cheek and held her head against his shoulder. He lowered his face and gently rubbed his nose with hers.
“You see a woman with a shape like a watermelon, rough hands, sunbaked skin and a load of trouble.”
“I see a pretty, sweet, spunky little mother with more guts than sense. If I had the world, I’d offer it to her.”
“A lot of girls would love to have you . . . come calling. Don’t you want a home? A family?” She wondered if he could feel her heart pounding.
“More than anything in the world,” he whispered huskily, and kissed her again. His lips were warm and soft and gentle against hers. She felt cherished, protected, and wished she could stay in his arms forever.
“You’ll have them someday. I hope you’ll be happy.”
“I’m a jailbird, querida. I’ll be labeled a jailbird for the rest of my life. If I had any sense, I’d stay away from you so the stink won’t rub off on you.”
Mary Lee lifted her palm to his cheek. “It wasn’t right that they put you in prison. I don’t like to think of you in that place.”
“It seems a lifetime ago that I sat here on this porch while a pretty little girl cried over me and watched her pa treat my sore feet.”
“It does seem a long time ago. Tell me about yourself, Jake. Tell me about your mother and your father if you remember him . . .”
It was a night that neither of them would forget. Although no declaration of love was made, they shared a closeness, one neither had ever experienced with another human being, and it was precious to both of them.
He sat with his back to the porch post, with Mary Lee nestled close against him. He spoke in low, even tones while he told her about living on the Clawson ranch and about visiting his mother’s people in the mountain villages. After his mother died, he had stayed on at Clawson’s for a while, then worked on nearby ranches and in Oklahoma and Texas. His love for horses made him a good trainer.
“Nothing gets my dander up quicker than to see a horse mistreated. It’s one of the reasons I left Clawson’s.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“I’ve never seen Ocie mistreat an animal, but some of his men do when he’s not around.”
Jake skipped over the years he’d spent in the penitentiary. He shared his fear of heights and how he had to steel himself to climb the girders at the bridge site.
“Why did you do it?”
“For the money. I’m going to get my land back and raise horses. A few steers too, to help pay the bills.”
“Why doesn’t Mr. Clawson like you?”
“It started a long time ago. There was always competition between me and Bobby. Ocie would have liked for Bobby to outdo me, but Bobby wasn’t as tough as I was. He’d had it soft all his life, while I’d been working since I was eight years old. I was a better rider, roper and all-around hand than Bobby. It made Bobby hate me and Ocie too, I guess.”
“It wasn’t fair.”
“Many things in life are not fair, querida. A man has to play the hand he’s dealt.”
“Jake? I don’t want you to get the idea that because I’m sitting here with you like this that . . . I’m a fast woman.” Her hand plucked at the buttons on his shirt.
“Why in hell would I think that?” he growled, and tilted her chin so he could look into her face.
“You must know that a woman in my condition . . . doesn’t act like this.”
“Like what?”
“Well . . . I shouldn’t have let you kiss me.”
“Why not?”
She moved away from him and said irritably, “You only ask questions. I can’t answer them all.”
“Didn’t you want me to kiss you?”
“Yes, dammit, I did. Are you satisfied?”
“I’m not only satisfied, I’m happy as a drunk hoot-owl!”
He reached for her, pulled her to him and hugged her, then fitted his mouth to hers and kissed her as if he were dying of thirst.
When she could get her breath, she gasped. “Oh, Jake. This is crazy.” Then she slipped her arm around his neck.
The next day Mary Lee lived in a glow of happiness up until the time Frank Pierce was let out on the highway and walked up to the motor court. Dolly came out of the cabin and for a moment clung weakly to the door. She was not steady on her feet, and reeled drunkenly when she went to meet him. She was wearing her most revealing dress. Her thin, wiry hair had been frizzed with the curling iron, and round spots of rouge were bright on her sunken cheeks. Her lips were scarlet.
Mary Lee felt pity for her mother and embarrassment that she would display herself in such a fashion. She was also glad that Jake and Deke were not here to see her. Having Eli and Trudy stare at her was bad enough.
Frank walked carefully. His eyes were mean and searching the house as he passed it. Mary Lee stayed beside the window, where he couldn’t see her.
“Frank!” Dolly screeched. “I’m so glad you’re home.” Frank grunted and followed her into the cabin.
That was the last she saw of her mother until near supper-time. She came to the house and took food from the cupboard and the icebox, then went back to the cabin. She never spoke, and appeared to be weak. She paused every so often to hold on to the back of a chair.
It was late when Jake and Deke drove in. Trudy had gone home, disappointed, Mary Lee was sure, that she’d had to leave before Deke came back. Eli had teased her about Deke’s insisting that he sit beside her at the picture show and the fact that he had to sit on the other side of Deke.
“Then on the walk to her house, Mary Lee, they just talked to each other and acted like I wasn’t even there,” Eli reported.
“We did no such thing,” Trudy was quick to say. “You kept pushing me against him.”
“I was tryin’ to help you out.”
“I didn’t need any help, thank you.”
The bantering between them had gone on all day. Mary Lee had thoughts of her own to keep her mind occupied. She had not gone into the house until Eli and Deke returned. Sleep had not come at once. Her mind had been busy with what had occurred between her and Jake. This morning he and Deke had come for breakfast; and when he left, he had placed his hand on her shoulder in passing.
“Thanks,” he had said. “See you all tonight.”
The cabins were filled except for one when Jake’s truck came by the house and stopped at his cabin. Later he and Deke passed by as they walked to town. They stopped and said a few words to Eli. Mary Lee kept out of sight.
After the last cabin was rented and the Vacancy light turned off, Eli went to Jake’s cabin to listen to the radio. Mary Lee went to her room, latched the doors and lay down on the bed.
“He didn’t say anything about being in love with me. I know he is concerned about us, baby,” she said silently to her unborn child. “That isn’t the same as love.”
Perhaps he had just wanted to pass a few pleasant hours hugging and kissing her. Bobby had been content just to do that until she told him that she was leaving Cross Roads. Then he had confessed his “undying love” for her, and she had been foolish enough to believe it.
Mary Lee undressed and went to bed. She lay for a long time listening to the cars pass on the highway until their song lulled her to sleep.