Chapter Five

The Story of Aubrey Evans

Sasha and I faced each other as we lay on the cold, concrete floor with two mats underneath us. We’d gotten our shower about an hour ago when three men came in with long hoses to spray water on us. The majority of us sat against the wall, protecting our faces from the cold water that pinched our skin. I needed a bath for sure, but in no way was the water satisfying to me. None of this was, and as I watched some of the women who had obviously gotten used to this wash themselves with the same bar of soap, I knew I had to find a way to make being in that house beneficial. That was if I was forced to go there. Maybe it would take time for me to plan something—who knows? But there was no way for me to get used to this. It had been a long day already. I didn’t even want to think about what tomorrow would bring. All I could think about now was when Maryann was coming back to get me. It was already late. The prison was dark inside and only a sliver of light came through the windows with bars. Whispers could be heard throughout the room. Snores as well. There was more crying, but I’d already known that crying would do me no good. Still, it helped because this hurt. I’d talked to Sasha about staying strong. About hanging in there and not saying what she’d said earlier. We had to do this right, if we ever wanted to get out of here alive.

“Try to get some sleep,” I said, looking into Sasha’s weary eyes. She had cried so much that her eyes were swollen like she’d been beat. “I know it’s hard, but what else can we do?”

“Nothing, I guess. I’m just hungry, and the baby keeps moving. It feels like she’s ready to come out.”

“The longer she stays in there the better. And I’m hungry too. Hopefully, we’ll get something in the morning.”

Sasha didn’t respond. Just stared at me with hurt in her eyes. I felt helpless. There was a lump stuck in my throat that was difficult to swallow. My stomach growled all day, and I knew that with Sasha being pregnant, she needed to eat something. Anything. I removed the thin sheet covering my body and told Sasha I would be right back.

“Where are you going?” she asked in a whisper. “Don’t leave me, Mama.”

“I’m not going far. Just going over there to talk to Joslyn. I want to find out how we can get some food.”

Sasha sat up as I crawled away from her and made my way through the rows of women lying on the floor. I saw Joslyn sitting up against a wall, close to Melody who sat against the wall, too, with her head slumped to the side. Her good eye was open wide as she stared into space.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” I said to Joslyn. “But how can we get some food around here? We haven’t eaten anything all day. I know my daughter is going to get weak if she doesn’t eat.”

“She’ll have to wait until morning. They feed us before we go to work. It’s not much, nor is the food good. Usually, oatmeal for breakfast, hotdogs for lunch or dinner. Since I’ve been here, I’ve lost about twenty pounds. I assure you that that nice little full-figure you have will become slim and trim real quick.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see Melody nod. When I looked at her, she grunted and turned her head in another direction. I looked at Joslyn again.

“One more question. Where are the men and boys? Are they here too? I have two sons. I’m looking for them. I hope they’re okay.”

She shrugged and moved her head from side-to-side. “I can’t really say where they are because I don’t know. But I do know that they work the men real hard. Treat them dirty, if you know what I mean. I don’t want to upset you, but they aren’t real kind to our men and boys. Never have been, and Maryann considers this dump in here paradise.”

I was finally able to swallow the lump that was stuck in my throat. It ached more, now that I was thinking about my boys again.

“Thanks, Joslyn. I appreciate the information.”

As I got ready to crawl back to where I was, Melody grabbed my arm. Her grip was so tight that I couldn’t move. My eyes locked with hers, but before I could say anything, she opened her other hand so I could see it. In the palm of her hand were about ten plump grapes. She laid them on the floor next to me then released my arm. Without saying one word, she turned her head in the other direction again. I picked up the grapes, softly thanking her. She didn’t respond.

As I made my way back to where Sasha was, I started thinking that maybe this was more about me saving myself and Sasha. Maybe, I needed to look out for some of the other women, as Melody had definitely looked out for me. That surprised me. I appreciated what she had done, more than she would ever know. I couldn’t wait to give the grapes to Sasha. I handed them to her; she chewed as if they were a juicy steak.

“Where did you get these from?” she asked.

“It doesn’t matter. Just eat them. Eat all of them.”

“You need to eat some too. Don’t give them all to me.”

“I’ll be fine. Joslyn said we’ll eat in the morning. Hopefully, I’ll get something then.”

What seemed like minutes later, I awakened to bright sunrays cracking through windows and sending glows of light throughout the prison. My eyelids felt heavy; body ached all over from sleeping on the mat. As I looked around, many of the women were still sleeping. Some sat stone-like with bewilderment in their eyes, others lay there whispering at each other. Sasha was asleep. She looked so pretty resting peacefully, and just for a moment I smiled with a glimmer of hope that we would soon be back at home in our own beds. I was glad Maryann hadn’t come back to get me; maybe she had changed her mind. Maybe she had other plans—was there a chance that she felt sorry for me? That she didn’t want me to leave my daughter’s side, especially under these conditions. I wasn’t so sure, but my answer came about fifteen minutes later when Ben, two other men and Maryann, came busting into the prison like robbers. As usual, their rifles were up high and excitement was in their eyes. They loved torturing us like this—that I was sure of.

“Rise and shine,” Maryann said, clapping her hands. The clap echoed in the room, causing many of the women to sit up, yawn and stretch. “We have work to do this morning, so straighten your sacs, pat your nappy heads and go stand against the wall over there when y’alls ready to go eat.”

The mention of food got more people up and moving around. Sasha was already sitting up, and as she wiped sleep from her eyes and saliva from the corner of her mouth, she yawned. “My body hurts, Mama, especially my stomach. I’m so tired. I feel too weak to stand.”

I didn’t want to cause a scene and make Maryann look in our direction, so I hurried to help Sasha off the floor. She stretched again—I was sure the floor had caused many aches on her body as well. Just as we traveled from one side of the room to the other, where the women had started to form a line, that was when Maryann eyeballed me. I lowered my head, pretending like I didn’t see her and kept it moving with Sasha beside me.

“Asia!” Maryann shouted. “Look at me, gal!”

I halted my steps to look in her direction. “Yes. What is it, Maryann?”

“Come with me. Release that child and come this way.”

I did my best to be polite to this woman. But every time she called me Asia, my flesh crawled. Every time I looked at her, I wanted to slap the shit out of her. Every time I heard her voice, chills went through my body. I hated her guts.

“Can’t I just stay here?” I asked. “Please take someone else to the house. My daughter needs me. As you can see, she’s pregnant.”

Her face tightened; she all but guaranteed me another slap across mine with her bible. She wore cowboy boots and a pink flowered dress that swished from side-to-side as she moved in my direction, stomping with Ben behind her. All I could see was the barrel of his rifle coming straight toward me.

“We don’t negotiate around here,” he said then jerked his head to the side to spit. “Release her and go with Maryann or else!”

His rifle lowered to Sasha’s belly. I quickly released her hand, but she reached out to grab my arm.

“Mama, noooo.” She started to cry again. “I don’t want to be here by myself, pleeeease.”

“You won’t be by yourself,” Joslyn said from a short distance. “We’ll be here.”

“Ain’t that so sweet,” Maryann said, moving closer to Sasha. She reached out and grabbed Sasha by the hair, pulling her away from me. “As for you, Missy, get yoself together. Let my Asia go and stop all that doggone whining. You’s working my everlasting nerves.”

I hurried to divert Maryann’s attention to me. “I’m ready,” I said in a panic. “Let’s just go now. I’m ready whenever you are.”

Maryann released Sasha’s hair then softly rubbed it. “Be a good girl while your mammy is away. She’ll be back, but until then, get in line and straighten yoself up.”

Sasha didn’t always listen. I needed her to cooperate so badly, but as Ben snatched my arm and started pulling me away, Sasha kept crying and extending her arms out to me.

“Nooooo, Mama, nooooo!” She threw a tantrum and stomped on the floor while pounding her tightened fist against her leg. “They’re going to hurt you. I know they’ll hurt you and me tooooo! Don’t go. If they kill us, so what!”

Sniffles could be heard throughout the prison. Tears were at the rims of my eyes as I looked at Sasha, moving my head from side-to-side. I shouted back to her as Ben and another man forced me toward the door.

“No, we won’t die!” I tried to convince her. “We won’t and I’ll be back soon!”

That was all I could say to my child, before I was shoved outside and pushed to the ground. “Get up,” Ben yelled with his rifle aimed at my face. He was so big and bad with that rifle. I wondered how tough he would be without it. Trying my best not to show fear, I rushed to my feet and wiped off mud that was caked on my hands. The bright sun caused me to squint, and as I looked around to see where I was, all I could see was acres and acres of land. There were many crops being grown, corn in particular. Cotton fields for days, which I simply couldn’t believe. Wooden shacks here and there. Dirt roads that led to somewhere, and far in the distance was a humongous white house with four thick columns. The shudders were black. Lawn was well manicured and flowers blossomed everywhere. Weather wise, it felt like a beautiful, sunny day outside, but in no way could this day be considered beautiful. I wanted to run, but to where was what I kept asking myself.

“Get on that truck and let’s go for a wild ride,” Maryann said as she shooed me in the direction of a nearby pickup truck that awaited me. I was ordered to sit on the hatch that was lowered. Maryann sat next to me while Ben and the two other men got inside.

“Drive real slow, boys, and take the scenic route,” Maryann said as she turned to look at the men. “I want Asia to see how beautiful the Promised Land is.” She inhaled a heap of air and closed her eyes. “It’s such a lovely place, Asia. You’s gone love it here. You might not think so now, but you just wait and see.”

I didn’t say one word. Just sat in silence as Ben drove off, moving real slow so I could explore what they considered the Promised Land. As I looked around, I saw cows and horses in the distance. Trees that had nooses hanging from them. More cabin-like shacks that were made of wood. There was a large fire burning and I could see a river flowing from afar. Birds chirped as the sun shone so bright. I wondered how God could allow it to shine so bright, especially when there appeared to be so much hatred and darkness in this place.

“I won’t keep you all day,” Maryann said, interrupting my thoughts. “I promise, okay? I just want us to be friends. The moment you started to sing on that bus, I knew you would be one of the best lil house niggers I’ve ever had. The others betrayed me. I used to have one named Francine who went behind my back and done God awful things to me. She died in her sleep about a month ago. I’ve been looking for a replacement for her ever since then.”

I regretted opening my mouth on that bus. Should’ve just kept it shut. Had I not said anything, I could be there with Sasha right now. It was a mistake that I was sure I would live to regret.

We wobbled around on the truck, and as we got closer to the house, that was when I saw numerous men parading across the fields. Most of the men were black, but there were two white men as well. No smiles were on their faces—their expressions were flat. No shirts on their backs. Some I could tell had been beaten, and many lowered their heads, probably from being in fear of looking at us. My heart ached as my thoughts turned to my sons. Where were they? What had happened to them, and when would I ever know? My answer arrived as the truck moved a few more feet down the dirt road, filled with tiny white rocks. I saw a young man who looked like Demonte, but I wasn’t so sure. He was with a crowd of young men who were being led by four white men. I wasn’t sure where they were on their way to, but many of the boys’ heads hung low. No shirts were on their backs; their hands were tied with ropes.

“Demonte,” I shouted, not caring if it meant trouble for me. “Is that you?”

The boy’s head shot up—the sight of him nearly knocked the wind out of me. His face was swollen, one eye closed shut. Hair was dusty, dried blood covered his puffy lips. He didn’t respond, but the sight of my child caused me to jump from the truck and go after him.

“Demonteeee!” I cried in agony as I sprinted through the fields. I didn’t get far because one of the men had already wrapped his arms around my waist and carried me back to the truck. He slammed me down so hard that a jolt went through my body; I felt something crack. I rolled around in so much pain—my back, my heart, my soul ached badly. “Whyyy, Maryann? Why are you people doing this to us? That’s my son! What have you done to him?”

She dismissively threw her hand back at me. “Don’t get yoself in a tizzy, worrying about this stuff. It’s really no big deal, Asia. What else are The Masters supposed to do, if your boys been misbehaving? They’ve been acting ugly since they got here, and we won’t tolerate those kinds of niggers around here. The streets may have tolerated them, but not here. Here they will learn to be respectful young men. Men who work and work hard. You’ll see what happens, and if they don’t listen to The Masters, we gone find a nice lil tree over there to hang them from. Until then, I’ll tell Benny and ‘em to lighten up on your boys. All I can do is request it. But just so you know, they don’t always listen to me.”

I just couldn’t go along with this any longer. I had reached my breaking point, and after seeing Demonte’s disfigured face, that was enough for me. I scrambled to sit up. And with Maryann within my reach, I jumped on top of her with my hands gripped around her fat neck. I growled like a tiger and squeezed her neck as hard as I could. Her tongue hung from her mouth and a string of saliva dripped from it. The gargling sound she made gave me a thrill. I knew I was about to catch hell or possibly feel several bullets in my back. That was fine by me. I didn’t mind dying right now, but surely it couldn’t be that easy for me. They wanted me alive so I could suffer. And that I did when I felt the butt of a gun slap me across my face. I was numb as they punted my body like a football, particularly in my stomach where it hurt the most. My vision was blurred, and as I stared at the sky with blood dripping from the corner of my mouth, the sun got brighter and brighter. Then it seemed to get closer as my vision faded.

Sadly, I didn’t know the day or hour when I woke up. All I knew was my body felt stiff. My eyes were narrowed to slits. I couldn’t move, barely wanted to breathe. In the background, I could hear crying. A baby was crying and I faded in and out while trying to get my bearings. I definitely didn’t know where I was, but as I focused more, I could see that I was in a room. A room with brick walls that had a bed. There were no windows. Just a lamp next to me that gave off light. A chair was beside the bed I laid in, and on the chair was a bible. I tried to sit up but couldn’t. I was too weak. Too weak to fully open my eyes, even when I saw Maryann standing in the corner with a baby swaddled in her arms. She shook the baby, telling it to be quiet.

“Shhh,” she whispered. “Your grandmother is trying to sleep. Hush, child, hush.”

Tears seeped from the corners of my eyes. Sasha had had the baby. A flood of emotions came over me, and as I started to shiver from crying, Maryann came over to the bed. The baby had stopped crying.

“I wondered when you was gone wake yoself up,” Maryann said, smiling. “You done missed out on all the celebrations around here. Your grandbaby was born and Lord knows she is the most adorable little white chocolate thing I’ve ever seen. Look at her, Asia. Ain’t she darling?” Maryann lowered her arms so I could see my grandbaby. With her being bundled up in a white blanket, I really couldn’t see much of her. But from what I could see, she was very beautiful. Had a head full of curly black hair, big doe-eyes and tiny little lips that I wanted to kiss.

“She has your eyes and lips,” Maryann said. She removed part of the blanket to show me her feet. “And look at these tiny little ol’ feet. So cute and sweet.” Maryann kissed the baby’s feet, before tucking them back into the blanket. She looked at me, torturing me yet again. “You go ahead and go back to sleep. I’ll take care of, well, I’m not sure what to name her just yet. But when I decide, I’ll let you and Sasha know. She’s doing fine, but when I tell you that girl is one fuss box I mean it. She’s got balls like a man, or should I say, like her mother. It’s not good for women to have balls, but bravery works fine. I admire you, Asia, really, I do. But you best believe that you’d better get your act together or you will never, and I do mean ever, be able to hold this adorable baby in your arms. So lay there and think real hard about how you gon’ start getting along better with me.”

I thought Maryann was going to leave the room, but she didn’t. With my grandchild still in her arms, she sat in the chair, removing the bible before she sat down. She opened it, and while rocking the baby in her arms, she started to read to her.

“Remember the word which Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, saying the Lord your God hath given you rest and hath given you this land.” She paused to kiss the baby’s cheek. “The Promised Land,” she said. “Where you were born and will forever remain, my sweet child.”

I slowly shut my eyes, silently praying that her words would never become our reality.