The next morning, Ben stood at the front of the church smiling at the few families who had braved the snow to attend. Overnight, the storm had lessened in severity and when he woke, there were only a few flurries, but it would still be difficult for those who lived out of town to get in for the service.
Emmy, Mrs. Carver and the twins sat in the front row. Mrs. Carver had made sure the boys had scrubbed their faces until they shone, and Emmy had combed their hair. Mrs. Carver planned to get fabric for them on Monday and start sewing more outfits for school, church and play. Levi squirmed in his seat and Emmy reached over and gently put her hand on his knee to still him.
“‘This is the day which the Lord hath made,’” Ben said to the congregation, quoting Psalm 118:24. “‘We will rejoice and be glad in it.’”
His gaze went to Emmy and he found her studying him closely. When their eyes met, she looked down at the Bible lying in her lap. Ben wished things hadn’t become so awkward last evening.
Adam Russell sat directly behind Emmy. He had come in early and monopolized her time while Ben had been busy welcoming his parishioners. Ben supposed that Adam had taken the opportunity to ask if he could call again, but there was no way of knowing unless he asked Emmy, which he couldn’t do without making her suspicious of his own feelings.
He directed his thoughts back to his sermon, frustrated that he would let his mind wander while he was in the pulpit. “Let us turn to the Book of Romans, chapter thirteen, verse eight.” Ben stood behind his podium and opened his well-loved Bible. The pages were crinkled and the binding was loose, but he couldn’t bear to get a new one. It was like an old friend. “‘Owe no man any thing,’” Ben read, “‘but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.’”
The door opened and Ben looked up. An older gentleman walked into the church. Something about his posture struck Ben as familiar, but he pushed the thought aside and glanced back at his Bible—but then he looked up again sharply. The man took off his cap and revealed white, stringy hair. Reginald Trask dipped his head and slipped into the back pew, his face down, as if he was trying to blend in with the others unnoticed.
Emmy watched Ben closely and turned her head to see what he was looking at. The other parishioners also looked up at Ben, questions in their eyes.
Ben shook his head to get his bearings and then he continued reading from the Book of Romans. “‘For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery,’” he said. “‘Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.’” He looked down at his notes and tried to recall what he had planned to say. It was unusual for him to lose his train of thought, but seeing Mr. Trask was unnerving. What was he doing in Little Falls? Had he come to take the boys, after all?
Levi swung his legs under the front pew and Zeb played with his fingers. Emmy set her hand on Levi’s knee again and his legs stopped swinging, but he looked as bored as Ben remembered being in church as a child. The boys had only been with him for about two weeks, but in that time they had endeared themselves to Ben. The sudden thought of them leaving with Mr. Trask and living in those deplorable conditions made Ben’s chest constrict with fear like he’d never known. What would he do if Mr. Trask demanded them?
People began to fidget in their seats and Ben knew he must continue with his sermon before they became more uncomfortable. “The Bible also says in Mark, chapter twelve, verse thirty-one, that the second greatest commandment is to love thy neighbor as thyself. I often think of this verse while I’m about my daily business.”
Mr. Trask looked around the church, his gaze skimming the people who had gathered. Was he looking for the boys?
Ben continued, his thoughts scattered. Several people gave him strange looks as he fumbled through his sermon, but it was Emmy who looked the most concerned.
Finally, it was time for the closing prayer. “Let us bow our heads.”
Everyone did as he requested, even Mr. Trask.
“Lord—” Ben let out a long breath “—we thank You for Your loving kindness, Your abundant grace and Your perfect will. Help us to accept Your plans and offer love to everyone we meet. Amen.”
“Amen,” the others echoed.
Ben stepped away from the podium and went to Emmy and Mrs. Carver. He usually walked down the aisle to be at the door to thank everyone for coming, but his first priority was the boys today.
“Mr. Trask has joined us,” he said quietly to the ladies. “Why don’t you take the boys out the back door and I’ll find out what he wants.”
Emmy looked over her shoulder, concern on her face. “I was wondering why you were so shaken today. Do you think—?”
“I don’t know,” Ben answered before she could voice her question. “I’ll find out and be home as soon as I can.”
“Come, boys,” Mrs. Carver said in a merry voice. “Let’s see who can get to the parsonage first.” She directed them toward the back door, behind the pulpit. They didn’t miss the opportunity for a contest and were soon out of the building.
“Would you like me to come with you to talk to him?” Emmy asked.
It would be nice to have Emmy’s support as he spoke to Mr. Trask, but then he saw Adam standing near the door, no doubt waiting for Emmy, and he had second thoughts. “Could you go with Mrs. Carver to keep the boys occupied while she prepares lunch?”
Emmy nodded. “I’d be happy to.”
He watched her walk out the same door the others had taken a moment ago, and then turned to find Mr. Trask—but he was nowhere to be seen.
Ben’s heart rate escalated as he started toward the door. “Pardon me,” he said to those in the aisle. “Can I get through?”
His friends and neighbors moved aside, allowing him to pass, though several looked troubled by his behavior. He made it to the door and stepped outside, looking toward the right, where the parsonage sat, but Mr. Trask wasn’t there. Ben looked to his left, toward the center of town, and finally saw the older man climbing into a sleigh.
Part of Ben wanted to watch the man pull away and not return, but the other part wanted to reach out to him. Clearly, he’d come a long way for some reason.
“Mr. Trask.” Ben jogged toward the sleigh and the other man looked over his shoulder, but he continued to climb into the sleigh.
“Wait,” Ben called again.
Mr. Trask sat on the bench and lifted the horse’s reins. “It was a mistake to come.”
“No.” Ben stopped beside the sleigh and put his hand on the box. “Please, don’t leave yet. I’d like to talk to you.”
The other man shook his head. “I shouldn’t have come. I knew it all the way here, but something pulled me. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Please,” Ben said. “Come back to the church and let’s talk about why you came.”
Mr. Trask looked around at the buildings and people and shook his head. “I haven’t been in a church since I was a lad. Don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that.”
Confusion tilted Ben’s brow. “It wasn’t what?”
“All warm and cozy-like.” He looked at Ben, his gaze somewhere between reverence and disgust. “And those words you spoke, about loving thy neighbor and such—I never heard someone say it as if they truly believed it. Makes me downright uncomfortable.”
Ben had barely strung two coherent words together during his sermon. He didn’t think he’d made sense, but apparently, it was what Mr. Trask needed to hear.
Everything in Ben wanted to send Mr. Trask on his way, but he sensed the need to invite him to lunch. It didn’t appear as if the man had come to steal the boys away. If he had, wouldn’t he be there now? “Would you like to join us in the parsonage? My housekeeper is roasting some beef and she baked a chocolate cake.” He paused, but then went on before he changed his mind. “Your grandsons are there now, and they’d be happy to meet you.”
Mr. Trask rubbed his whiskers and scrunched his face as if in thought. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”
“It must be the reason you came,” Ben said. “Don’t let fear stop you now.”
He sat for a moment, and then he secured the reins to the dashboard and started to climb down. “I’ll come, but there’s one condition.”
“Of course.”
“I don’t want them to know I’m their grandpa.”
Ben frowned. “Why not?”
The old man suddenly looked a lot older. Weariness and heartache wrinkled his face as he met Ben’s gaze. “I didn’t do right by their pa, and I don’t reckon I could do right by them. They’d be better off not knowing who I am in the long run.”
“If that’s how you want it.”
“It is.”
“Then I’ll honor your request.”
Mr. Trask nodded and followed Ben toward the parsonage.
Ben hoped and prayed he had done the right thing by inviting Mr. Trask to join them. Maybe, just maybe, he could help Ben find the boys’ father, after all.
* * *
Emmy sat at the small table in the front room with Levi and Zeb, a game of checkers between her and the boys.
“It’s your turn, Zeb,” Levi said to his brother as he hovered close to Zeb’s shoulder. “Move this one over there.” He pointed to the checker that he wanted Zeb to move, but Zeb didn’t seem to pay him any attention. Instead, Zeb moved a different checker, right into Emmy’s path.
For a moment, Emmy vacillated. Should she ignore the checker and move a different one to spare Zeb’s disappointment, or should she play the game as it should be played, showing Zeb that he must be more careful where he moved?
“There, Miss Emmy!” Levi pointed at the checker she could use to jump Zeb. “Take that one.”
Zeb’s mouth fell open into a perfect O and he frowned at Levi. “Don’t help her win!”
“I tried to help you,” Levi said to his brother, a bit smug, “but you didn’t listen.”
The front door opened and Ben stepped over the threshold with the man she presumed to be Mr. Trask, saving Emmy from making a decision at the moment.
“Boys, we’ll need to finish this game later,” she said quietly. “Mr. Ben has brought a guest.”
The boys looked disappointed, but neither complained as Emmy stood to greet the men.
She caught Ben’s serious gaze and tried to convey her support.
Ben closed the door behind the visitor and indicated the front room. “Why don’t you come in.”
The man took off his cap and clutched it in his hand, his gaze going from Emmy to the boys.
“Mr. Trask,” Ben said, “may I introduce you to Miss Wilkes? She’s our schoolteacher and currently boards with us.”
Mr. Trask looked back at Emmy, his face filled with uncertainty. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, miss.”
“And you, Mr. Trask.”
Ben looked from Mr. Trask to the twins, his own uncertainty making her heart beat an unsteady rhythm for him.
“Boys, please come here.” Ben motioned the boys to come from around the table and stand in front of him. “Mr. Trask, this is Zebulun and Levi.”
Mr. Trask inspected them, a bittersweet look filling his eyes. “Hello, boys.”
“Hello,” they said in unison.
Zeb shied away, but Levi’s eyes filled with a question. “We have the same name.”
Mr. Trask looked at Ben quickly, but Ben only smiled at Levi. “There are a lot of people with the same last name.”
Emmy frowned at the response. Didn’t Mr. Trask want the boys to know they were related—or was it Ben that didn’t want them to know?
The kitchen door opened and Mrs. Carver stepped out with a dish towel in hand. She looked Mr. Trask over from head to foot, and Emmy could only guess that the stout lady was thinking the man was much too skinny—it was a malady that most people suffered from in her estimation.
“Mr. Trask,” Ben said. “This is Mrs. Carver, our housekeeper.”
Mr. Trask nodded a greeting. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.” He looked around the room at the boys and then Emmy. “It’s a right full house you have here, Parson.”
Ben smiled at his makeshift family. “I’ve been blessed, indeed.”
Warmth filled Emmy’s chest at Ben’s statement. “Won’t you come in?” she asked Mr. Trask.
“Lunch is ready to be served,” Mrs. Carver interjected. “Let’s eat while it’s hot.”
“This way,” Ben said to Mr. Trask.
The group entered the warm kitchen. Mrs. Carver had already laid everything out on the table. A single chair remained empty, so Ben suggested Mr. Trask sit there.
Emmy pulled out the chair beside Ben’s, wishing that things hadn’t become so awkward between them. She couldn’t shake the memory of the previous evening from her mind. It had taken her several minutes to find the strength to rise and go to bed. She had found the robe on the hook, just as Ben had said, but he had gone to bed, his door firmly closed.
Now he glanced at her as they took a seat at the table, and she found herself needing to look away, hoping he wasn’t thinking about last evening, as well.
“Let’s pray, shall we?” Ben asked.
Mrs. Carver reached out to take Emmy’s hand to her right and Mr. Trask’s to her left. The older man’s eyes grew wide and he stared at her hand for a moment before tentatively taking it. Levi also offered his hand to Mr. Trask, and Mr. Trask was even more hesitant to reach out to the little one, but he finally did. A sense of awe filled his weathered face before he closed his eyes and lowered his head.
Emmy looked at Ben and found him watching her, his own hand hovering, waiting for her to accept it. She slipped her hand into his confident grasp and bowed her head.
“For this meal, and our lives, Lord, we are eternally grateful. Amen.”
“Amen,” Emmy said, wanting to pull her hand away—but longing to keep it right where it was.
Shame and remorse filled Emmy’s chest as she pulled away. Thoughts of William clouded her vision as she went about the task of filling her plate with Mrs. Carver’s scrumptious food. Before coming to Little Falls, Emmy had thought of William every day. Now, it had been several days since she had thought of him, and even then, it was only in passing moments. Suddenly, she had a hard time remembering what he looked like.
“Is everything all right?” Ben asked her quietly.
She looked up quickly, her cheeks filling with heat. “I’m fine.”
“Eat up, Mr. Trask.” Mrs. Carver slopped a spoonful of mashed potatoes on Mr. Trask’s plate. “You could stand to put a few layers of insulation on those old bones.”
Mr. Trask looked at the lady with surprise lighting his face.
“Don’t skimp on the roast beef, either.” Mrs. Carver lifted two thick slices off the platter and put them on his plate.
Levi and Zeb watched the stranger as they ate heartily, though neither one looked too curious about their guest.
“It was a pleasure to have you at church today,” Ben said to Mr. Trask. “I’m happy you made the trip. It couldn’t have been easy with all that snow.”
Mr. Trask slowly picked up a fork as he studied the heap of food Mrs. Carver had placed there. “I’ve been through worse. Um, ma’am,” he addressed Mrs. Carver. “I don’t want to insult, but I don’t think I can eat all this food.”
“You can.” She nodded. “And you will.”
He looked at the food as if he was preparing for battle, diving in with determination.
Emmy longed to inquire why he had come, but she sensed it wasn’t the time or the place to ask such things.
Ben and Mr. Trask spoke of mundane affairs as they ate. When the man finished one serving of food, Mrs. Carver gave him another. After a while, he didn’t seem to mind, gobbling everything up eagerly.
“You’re a mighty fine cook,” Mr. Trask said to Mrs. Carver between bites of food. “Don’t reckon I’ve eaten this fine since my ma was alive.”
Mrs. Carver’s dimpled cheeks filled with color and she dipped her gaze. “That’s a real nice compliment, Mr. Trask.”
Emmy glanced up at Ben and they shared a smile. It was the first time Mrs. Carver showed any sign of embarrassment since Emmy had met her.
They enjoyed the chocolate cake and then Mrs. Carver rose to bring the coffee to the table.
“May we be excused?” Levi asked Ben. “Zeb and I want to play outside.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Ben said. “Make sure you put on all your outside gear, and if it gets too cold, come right in.”
“And don’t forget your scarves,” Emmy added as the boys jumped up from the table and started toward the door.
“We won’t,” Zeb said with a smile.
Mr. Trask watched the boys leave the room, his gaze stuck on the door long after they had disappeared.
“Well?” Mrs. Carver said as she sat down with a mug of coffee in front of her. “Did you come to take them away from us?”
“Mrs. Carver,” Ben said quickly.
“That’s all right.” Mr. Trask held up his hand to stop Ben. “It’s a logical question.”
Emmy circled her mug with both hands, gripping the warm, speckled tin harder than she intended.
“I didn’t come to take the boys,” Mr. Trask said slowly. “I came to tell you where you can find their pa.”
Emmy’s throat squeezed tight and she looked to Ben. She had half hoped they would never locate Malachi Trask.
“I thought you didn’t know where he was.” Ben studied Mr. Trask, his gaze focused on the other man.
“I never said I didn’t know—I just said it would be best not to know. I still don’t think it’s a good idea, but I can’t shake the feeling that I should tell you.” Mr. Trask looked down at his mug of coffee and sighed. “Last I heard, he’s living in Owatonna.” He looked up and met Ben’s gaze. “I doubt he’s changed, but I guess everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.”
Emmy swallowed the lump of anxiety in her throat. “Do you think he’s married again?”
“I couldn’t say, but if I know my son, he’s a charmer and he probably talked some sorry woman into marrying him.”
Ben leaned back in his chair, his eyes lowered. “If he’s married, then he and his new wife could probably manage to take the boys.”
Mr. Trask inhaled a breath and then let it out again. “That’s what I was thinking.”
Ben finally looked up at Emmy and there was sadness within his eyes. No doubt he would miss Levi and Zeb as much as she would.
“I should probably plan to bring the boys to their father as soon as possible—”
“If I was you,” Mr. Trask interrupted. “I’d write a letter first. Might come as a shock to him if you just showed up on his doorstep. A letter would give him some time to process the information and prepare for the boys.”
Ben nodded. “That’s sound advice.”
“And,” Mr. Trask continued, “he might have moved on. It wouldn’t be good for the boys to risk going all that way in weather like we’re having, especially if he’s no longer in Owatonna.”
“Where is Owatonna?” Emmy asked. “Is it close?”
“It’s down by the Iowa border,” Ben supplied. “At least a hundred and fifty miles, or so.”
Mr. Trask took a long drink of his coffee. When he set down his mug, he looked at Mrs. Carver. “That’s good coffee, ma’am.”
Mrs. Carver’s eyes shone as she stood and retrieved the coffeepot to fill his mug again.
“I’ll send a letter out immediately,” Ben said with resignation. “And then we’ll wait to see what he’d like to do.”
Emmy took a sip of her coffee, but it didn’t set well in her stomach. They had received some answers, but more questions had surfaced. If Malachi was remarried, would he and his wife want the boys? And, if they did, how could Emmy say goodbye?