Katie sat on the hotel bed, prepared to wiggle and contort her body to pull on her pantyhose. This pair was sliding on too easily, though. She looked at the package. Oh, no, I bought the largest size! Two of me could fit in these with room left over.
The phone rang. “Katie, where are you? We’re all waiting for you.”
“I’m ready, except for the pantyhose. They’re waaay too big.”
“Then take them off. Just hurry.”
“No, I have to wear them or my black-and-blue toe will show.”
Mike’s voice grated. “Okay, leave ’em on. Tie a knot or whatever you have to do to make ’em fit ’til you get here, and ask one of the women for a safety pin. Hurry up, honey.”
Katie lifted her evening gown to her chest in front of the mirror. She grabbed the large waist of the pantyhose that had fallen to her knees, tied it into a knot, released her gown, and gasped. “No way!”
Her waist looked like it had sprouted a tennis-ball size growth. She untied the knot, gathered the waistband to the side, folded it back over, and tucked it under her gown. It started to slide down. She realized she would have to hold it in place with her right hand clutching that side until she found a safety pin.
She grabbed her evening bag and rushed into the open elevator across from their room. Katie smiled at the sole passenger, a tall handsome man with a sprinkle of gray at his temples, looking elegant in a tuxedo.
He smiled. “Are you a visitor to Dallas?”
Her blue eyes were bright with excitement as she pushed her long blond hair away from her face with her evening bag. “Yes, my husband’s a fireman. He’s receiving a medal for bravery at the Firemen’s Banquet tonight.”
“What’s your husband’s name?”
“Mike Minnelli.”
“I’m Mayor John Kincaid. I have the honor of giving our heroes their medals.” He reached out to shake her hand. “I’m pleased to meet the wife of our most decorated hero. I understand you’re celebrating your first wedding anniversary tonight.”
She shoved her evening bag over her right hand, which was clutching her waist, and extended her left hand.
Katie blushed. “Yep, married to me, my husband gets lots of practice being a hero.”
The mayor raised his eyebrows. “I don’t understand.”
She sighed. “I’m Katie K. Minnelli. The K stands for klutz.” She looked up at him. “I warned Mike that I’m accident prone, but he said he could handle it. Now he refers to me as his little package of dynamite. He anticipates explosions and says I keep him on his toes and in shape.”
The elevator lurched and plunged past the next four floors. Katie screamed, dropped her bag, and grabbed the railing with both hands, allowing her pantyhose to drop to her knees. The elevator jolted and screeched to a halt, sending her pantyhose to her ankles.
The mayor’s face was ashen as he turned to her. “Are you okay?”
“My heart’s pounding!”
The mayor used the emergency elevator phone to report they were stuck between floors. He smiled and ran his hand through his short brown hair. “They’ll have this fixed soon. While we wait, tell me how you met your husband.”
She shuffled her feet, trying to turn around in the tangle of pantyhose.
“Did you hurt your legs?”
“Noooo, my feet tingle.” I’m too embarrassed to tell him about my predicament. “Mayor Kincaid, will you please let my husband know where I am?”
He smiled and imitated John Wayne’s famous drawl. “I sure will, little missy, don’t you worry your pretty head. The firemen will rescue us.”
She managed a weak smile as he called his assistant on his cell phone to notify her husband.
“Now, tell me about your husband, the hero,” the mayor said after he hung up.
“Mike is handsome and very strong. Firemen make the best husbands because they know how to do everything. He’s even a great cook. My girlfriend is Mike’s sister. She introduced us at her family’s picnic at the lake. Mike took me for a boat ride and wanted to take my picture on the end of the pier by the boat. He motioned for me to back up a little, but I backed up too much and fell in the lake. That’s the first time Mike rescued me. I can’t even recall them all.”
“Oh, come on, I’m sure you can tell me a few more.”
“OK, his sister lived in the apartment next to him. We double-dated often, and one time when I spent the night at his sister’s, I got trapped upside down in her fold-up wall bed. I was squashed between the bedding and wall until she ran next door to get Mike.
“That must’ve been uncomfortable.”
“It was. Then on our honeymoon at this very hotel, the revolving door held me hostage. It stopped revolving after I got in. I was trapped again, and Mike rescued me.”
Katie puffed out a sigh. “He told me not to go near the twelve-foot ladder he had leaned against our house to clean the upstairs windows. I wanted to surprise him by cleaning them myself because he was busy working on the car. He came to do the windows just in time to catch me when I fell off the ladder.”
“That was fortunate.”
“Not for him. He got a black eye from being hit with my bottle of glass cleaner. Last week my big toe got stuck in the bathtub faucet. It’s black and blue, and I have to wear open-toed shoes because of the swelling.”
“How did that happen?” the mayor asked with a perplexed look.
“I know men have a hard time understanding these stupid things. It was one of those you-had-to-be-there moments. I was relaxing in a bubble bath listening to music and tapping my toes against the bathtub to the beat when I accidentally shoved my big toe up the faucet. I waited two hours for Mike to come home and rescue me. I’m such a klutz!”
The elevator jiggled, and she screamed as it lurched and jerked down to the banquet floor as they clutched the railing. When Katie heard the uproar of the press awaiting them, she panicked and fainted. The whoosh of air from the door being pried open woke her, and she discovered the mayor had scooped her up in his arms.
“Hey, Mayor, who’s the babe you’re holding, your new girlfriend?” someone shouted. “Looks like you made the most out of being stuck in the elevator!”
Katie remained limp and kept her eyes closed. She imagined photos in the Dallas newspapers of the mayor holding her with her pantyhose dangling from her shoes. She heard the press casting more crude innuendos as cameras flashed. She prayed Mike would come to their rescue.
“Move, please! Coming through! Move!” a deep familiar voice bellowed.
“I hope to God you’re her husband,” the mayor said. “I swear I was a perfect gentleman. Please, can you clear up this mess?”
Mike took a deep breath and sighed. “It’s okay, I’m used to it.”
She felt him grab her pantyhose from her prized new Mootsies Tootsies shoes with five-inch heels. Her feet were pulled up as Mike peeled off the pantyhose to display the extra-large size to the media.
“I’m her husband. Let me talk!” he shouted. “She bought the wrong size of pantyhose, and they wouldn’t stay up. She was on her way down to me to get this safety pin when the elevator malfunctioned.” He held the pin up in the bright lights. Mayor Kincaid is a fine gentleman. I’m grateful he took care of my wife through this life-threatening incident.”
She felt Mike lay the pantyhose on her lap, transfer her to his arms, and kiss her cheek.
The mayor sighed with relief as reporters apologized and proclaimed him the hero of the day.
“Mike, you know you’re her hero, don’t you?” the mayor said.
“Yes, sir,” Mike whispered. “But I’ve heard you’re a man who can knock the socks off women. Bet you never thought you’d be accused of knocking off their pantyhose.”
The mayor laughed. “Take good care of Katie. She’s one in a million.”
Katie opened her eyes and saw Mike roll his eyes and mutter, “Believe me ... I know.”
The mayor patted Mike on the back. “It’ll be my extreme pleasure to award you your hero’s medal tonight. God knows you’ve earned it.”