Joe heard the phone in their insurance office ring while his wife, Jenna, was filing invoices. Before she could get to it, he answered it. He noted the telltale click just as he heard a woman speaking.
“Do you have a sex hour in your place of business?” she asked.
Joe took a deep breath, knowing his wife was listening in. “Nooooo, we only have a lunch hour. Do you have a sex hour in your place of business?”
“No, sir, that’s why I’m calling you.”
His mouth twisted wryly. “I don’t take prank calls.”
“Sir, this isn’t a prank call. I’m with the prestigious law firm of Getcha, Commin, & Goinn. I’m trying to find a man.”
He sighed, gazed at the ceiling, and rubbed the back of his neck. “Lady, I wish I could help you, but I don’t think my wife would approve.”
“No, no, you don’t understand. The man I’m looking for is A. Sexhour. That’s his name. I think the initial ‘A’ might stand for Andrew, Adam, or Albert. Do you have anyone by one of those names in your office?”
“No. Uh, how did you get my phone number?”
“Your number is on the list of businesses they gave me to call.”
Joe leaned back in his chair, thinking about Ted, his know-it-all brother-in-law, and smiled wickedly. “How late do you work?”
“Until six.”
“I know a man who’d be eager to help you. Are you ready for his number? It’s 642-1212.”
The woman gasped. “Sir, I’m not looking for sex!”
Puzzled, he frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“You said the man could be reached at: Sex for two, want to, want to?”
He rolled his eyes, heaved a sigh, and pictured a bimbo on the other end of the line. “No, no, lady, you’ve got it all wrong. I gave you Ted’s home telephone number, 642-1212. He works in the city at a U.S. government office. He’ll help you find the man you’re looking for. Call him around five-thirty. He’s usually home by then. If he isn’t, leave him a message.” Joe coughed trying to suppress a chuckle. “I’m sure he’ll get back to you right away.”
“Ooooh, I misunderstood. I’m sorry I snapped at you. You’ve been very nice. Other people I’ve called have been nasty and rude. Thank you for your help.”
“No problem.” He hung up the phone with a smile, turned, and saw his wife with her hands on her hips in the doorway.
She glared at him. “Why did you give her Ted’s number? You know how jealous and suspicious my sister is.”
Joe crossed his arms. “Jealousy and suspicion are family traits, or you wouldn’t know about my telephone conversation.” He raised his eyebrows. “Would you, dear?”
Jenna’s face reddened. She spun around and stomped back to her office.
Joe leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes, and fantasized about the bimbo caller. He imagined her as a dumb blonde with big boobs, long legs, and a short skirt.
He grinned, thinking he was lucky his wife couldn’t eavesdrop on his thoughts.