Chili, in the arms of her master, tilted her head and listened, wagging her tail.
“Joe’s uncle died and left Hugo in our care,” Tina said to Chili. “We’re bringing Hugo home today. Be nice to him. He’s sad because he misses Uncle Tony. Now guard the house while we’re gone.”
Joe sighed. “My love, I’ll admit Chili understands everything we say. She has the brains, but not the brawn. She’s a four-pound Chihuahua with a chili-pepper attitude and the bravado of a Doberman. Instead of telling her to guard the house, teach her to dial 9-1-1.”
Tina nodded. “That’s a great idea.”
Joe rolled his eyes.
After they left, Chili thought, I’ll be nice to Hugo, but I’ll let him know right away I’m the boss.
When her masters came home an hour later, she ran to welcome them. Tina picked her up and hugged her. “I want you to meet Hugo. He’s a Saint Bernard.” She sat Chili down in front of Hugo.
Chili backed up and leaned her head back to get a full view of humongous Hugo, who must’ve weighed more than two hundred pounds. Hugo’s droopy face looked puzzled as he plopped his massive body down and stared at her. His big nose quivered as he sniffed her and drooled.
Chili raised her hackles and circled his body, barking that he must obey her because this was her territory.
Hugo didn’t care who was boss. He’d lost his beloved master. Nothing else mattered.
Joe had hoped acquiring a dog bigger than his brother’s dog would stop Tim from hassling him about having an ineffective runt like Chili. Tim was a policeman and patrolled their neighborhood in a K-9 vehicle with his German shepherd partner, Rex. Joe was disappointed Hugo was such a wuss that it appeared even tiny Chili was going to boss him around.
Chili followed Joe and Hugo into the kitchen and slipped in the puddle that had pooled from Hugo’s jowls as he lapped up a bowl of water. Chili thought, I’ll teach him not to be so sloppy, but I’ll wait until he feels more at home.
Hugo lumbered to the back door, turned around three times before lying down, and heaved a sigh as he rested his head on his front paws and closed his eyes.
A week later, Hugo was still mourning and not eating. Chili worried about him. She took mouthfuls of food out of his bowl and dropped it in front of him. When he ignored her, she barked at him. Hugo closed his eyes and covered his ears with his paws. Chili continued her shrill barking next to his ear until he ate all the food.
Chili whined, “Good boy,” and licked his nose.
Eventually Hugo perked up. Chili entertained him with tricks. She sat up, begged, danced on her hind feet, and rolled over to play dead.
Hugo was impressed, so she taught him some of her tricks. Then they showed Tina and Joe as Chili barked commands to Hugo. Chili was proud of him, and Tina and Joe looked happy to see Hugo felt at home now.
A month before Hugo arrived, Chili was attacked by Tiger, the mean tomcat who lived next door. Chili was afraid to walk under the tree in her fenced back yard because the big cat had jumped down from the tree to bite and claw Chili into a bloody mess. Tina had rescued her and rushed her to the vet.
When Chili heard Tiger and his owners were home from vacation, she planned her revenge. After Tina and Joe left for work, Chili softly whined her tale of woe to Hugo and enlisted his help. Hugo shook his giant head, flinging drool, before plodding toward the enlarged dog door.
Chili raced underneath him and pawed Hugo’s front leg. “Not yet. You stay here and watch. When I bark, rush out and grab Tiger by the scruff of his neck and shake the stuffing out of him.”
Hugo nodded his head and panted, eager for action.
Chili whined, “Good boy.” As she pushed through the dog door, she caught Tiger’s scent. Chili nonchalantly sniffed dandelions as she ambled toward the tree. The branches rustled as Tiger leaped down a few feet behind her. Chili jumped around to face him.
Tiger pressed his ears flat on his head as he crouched and hissed. His tail slowly twitched back and forth as he prepared to pounce. Terrified, Chili yipped.
Hugo bounded out with his tongue hanging out, splattering drool to the wind. He grabbed Tiger by his neck and shook him. Tiger yowled and clawed the air, trying to scratch Hugo.
“This is a warning,” Chili snarled, trembling. “Next time it could be fatal. Stay out of my yard!” Chili looked up at Hugo and barked, “Send Tiger home.”
Hugo swung his head side to side gathering momentum and flung Tiger over the fence into his backyard. Chili hopped onto Hugo’s back and posed like a queen surveying her domain. With my brain and Hugo’s brawn, we make a formidable pair.
Hugo proudly trotted around the perimeter of their yard, his tail held high like a victory flag.
That evening they heard Tina and Joe lamenting the daytime burglaries in their neighborhood. Tina worried Chili couldn’t defend herself, and Hugo was too gentle to hurt an intruder.
The next day, Chili briefed Hugo on her plan in case of a burglary.
Hugo panted and looked like he was smiling as he nodded. “Life is more exciting since I met you.”
Chili tilted her tiny head and whined, “Are you the strong silent type? I’ve never heard you growl, snarl, or bark. Can you?”
Hugo growled a deep rumble.
“Good, but it’ll be scarier if you snarl, show your big bone-crushing teeth, and then bark. Snarl like this.” She curled back her lips, showing her small teeth. “Okay, big boy, show me all you’ve got.”
Hugo looked ferocious as he got in her face, snarling and baring his teeth. He inhaled deeply and let out a powerful roar, like a mighty lion.
She shook off his drool. “Perfect! We’ll take turns patrolling the house. I’ll go first while you rest. If you hear anything, don’t bark. Come and get me. I’ll do the same.”
Hugo dozed as he waited his turn. Chili heard the glass window in the dining room shatter. She raced to Hugo, shoved her nose under his floppy right ear, and growled. Hugo jerked to attention and crept behind the dining room door where he waited for Chili’s attack signal.
Chili hid under the coffee table and watched the masked burglar climb over the window sill with a large sack. She trembled with anger as he snatched Tina’s cherished silver wedding tray and started filling his sack with their DVD collection. He took her favorite, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, from the bottom shelf, where Chili could fetch it to Tina to play it for her.
Enraged, Chili barked and scrambled to bite him. While the burglar tried to shake her off his leg, Hugo bolted from behind the door and snarled. He looked like Wonder Dog when he slammed the burglar facedown to the floor and smashed his nose. The burglar lost consciousness as Hugo pinned him under his weight. Chili pulled the eye mask off the burglar by breaking the elastic string as she sat on the back of his head.
Five minutes later, Joe opened the back door.
Tina called out, “Chili! Hugo!”
A sharp yip, a deep woof, and a faint moan answered her.
Joe and Tina raced into the living room and stared in disbelief.
Howling with laughter, Joe pulled out his cell phone. “Unbelievable! Tim will need proof to believe this.” He snapped a picture of Hugo sprawled over the burglar and drooling on his neck. Chili clenched the mask in her jaws as she perched on the burglar’s head, swishing her tail side to side like a windshield wiper.
Joe texted the photo to Tim before calling him. “As you can see, my dogs have caught the day burglar. When you come to get him, bring the paramedics but leave your partner, Rex, in the car.”