5 I have an eighty-seven-year-old friend who buys toilet paper in bulk. Every time he gets a chance he takes a few rolls of toilet paper and climbs into his Decathlon, an aerobatic airplane. He then gets up there a few thousand feet and starts tossing rolls of (biodegradable) toilet paper out the window. He’ll then dive and swoop, shredding that toilet paper as it streams toward the ground. He’s my hero. I won’t tell you his name.