As the adrenaline drained out of Holly’s nervous system, she began to grow so weary she had to admit she probably couldn’t have walked all the way back. Not without a good nap halfway there. The steady gait of the mule helped lull her, too.
Renee, however, had yet to come down from the high caused by their harrowing morning. “How can you guys be so matter-of-fact about it? I mean, I’m still shaking and you two are making silly jokes.”
“I’m sorry if we offended you,” Holly said. “We have to try to lighten up as soon as possible to stay sane. It’s a coping mechanism. Rescuers and law enforcement officers do it because it works. Most of the time.”
“What happens when it doesn’t?” the other woman asked.
“You join the FBI,” Holly said. If she hadn’t been bone tired she might not have revealed so much. Now that she had, however, she saw no reason to stop explaining. “I was considering becoming a park ranger, like McClellan, here. I even spent a summer as a volunteer right here in the Grand Canyon.”
“Why did you change your mind? Too hard?”
Holly snorted a wry chuckle. “The job isn’t easy, particularly for the Search and Rescue teams and law enforcement rangers. But that’s not why I applied to the FBI instead.”
Thoughts and memories of losing Ivy covered her like a heavy wool blanket, weighing her down, body and soul. “It was because of my baby sister,” Holly explained. “After she was kidnapped and murdered, all I wanted to do was help catch whoever had done it. During the course of that investigation I met lots of detectives, and it was the FBI that most impressed me.”
She saw Gabe’s shoulders square. He didn’t turn to look at her but that didn’t matter. He’d taken it all in. She knew he had. Was he going to comment? Waiting, she heard nothing from any of her companions. That was just as well because the morning’s stress had weakened her tight hold on her emotions and she was afraid she’d cry if she had to talk about her sister much more.
The mule had made good time and they were within sight of Spirit Station when Gabe broke the silence. He merely said “I’m sorry, Holly” before using his radio to report their position and request a status report.
That hadn’t been a fluke, she realized. He had expressed empathy while saving her from having to reply. Not many people were that sensitive to the feelings of others, nor did they go out of their way to offer comfort. Oh, it happened. Of course it did. But this man, this senior ranger, wasn’t usually that tender when it came to disappointments. He’d always seemed to be the kind who expected others to power through, and get on with life no matter what.
And she had, in her own way, when she’d aced the courses at Quantico. Cities were her normal focus but she’d proved she could adapt to just about anything when this manhunt had led her back to Grand Canyon National Park.
It didn’t escape her notice that circumstances had also plunked her down in the territory patrolled by the extraordinary man who was in the process of rescuing her.
“Physically, not psychologically,” Holly muttered. She might have been knee-deep in mud in that rift and needed help getting out, but the rest of her life was laid out just the way she wanted it. Period.
There was a welcoming committee of rangers waiting when Gabe delivered his muddy cargo. He handed the boy to Broadstreet and helped the mother into Hough’s care. “Check them over. If there’s nothing that needs immediate attention, we’ll hold off on an evac until things settle down.”
Each man agreed and they escorted their patients out of sight and out of danger. Holly made a less-than-graceful exit over the mule’s rump and fortunately did not received a swift kick for her daring.
“Nice dismount, Forbes. Do they teach that technique in FBI classes?”
“Nope. That was strictly ad-lib.” She grinned. “I’m glad my legs held me up when I hit the ground. That is one big mule.”
“Ah, right,” Gabe teased. “You’re a city girl.”
“Hey! I know enough to handle myself out here,” she insisted.
Gabe shrugged. “Maybe. And maybe you know just enough to get yourself into big trouble.” He sobered. “You could have been killed in the flash flood. You know that, right?”
“I climbed instead of trying to outrun it, didn’t I?”
“That you did.”
Stretching and flexing like a dancer preparing to perform, Holly yawned. “Man, I’m beat. Dodging gunmen and floating boulders really takes a lot out of a person.” She smiled at the now-placid mule that had carried them all so ably. “So does bouncing up and down on his rear end.”
“Picky, picky, picky. If I’d commandeered a horse, you’d probably have had to walk. They aren’t built for hauling heavy loads the way my long-eared friend is.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’ve missed a few meals lately.”
“Hungry? Energy bars suit you?”
“Do you have any chocolate-flavored ones?”
Gabe rolled his eyes and shook his head, then began rooting through a nearby pack. “Didn’t you bring anything to eat?”
“Apparently it slipped my mind. I mean, this isn’t the wilderness. I know they sell food at the rim.”
“Spirit Ranch has a dining room, too, but it’s just for guests. They have to pack in everything they serve so they’re pretty stingy with it.” He offered her a choice of several energy bars. “We have a kitchen and storage pantry at the ranger station, of course, but I don’t recommend you knock on their door and ask for food right now.”
“What’s the latest on that situation?” Holly asked.
He noted that she was concentrating on opening her energy bar rather than looking him in the eye. That was understandable, particularly since her decision to go off on her own had taken him away from his regular duties. He wasn’t faulting her but didn’t doubt she was feeling guilty.
“We’re on hold, waiting for the negotiator to arrive.” He arched a brow. “Yes, it’s driving me up the wall, in case you were wondering.”
“Figures. I’m pretty antsy, too.” Saluting by raising her snack to him, she said, “Thanks. I don’t know if I’d have insisted on responding to the shouts I heard if I hadn’t been so primed to do something. Anything. I am sorry for causing you extra concern.”
Gabe huffed. “That’s one way to put it.” He took two steps closer and lightly touched her shoulder. “I’ve been in a lot of tough spots since I became a park ranger but I can’t recall ever being quite as scared as I was today when I learned about the flash flooding. And I didn’t even know you were mixed up with a crook at the time. When you get yourself into trouble, you do a bang-up job of it.”
She chewed and swallowed, then said, “I always try to outperform civilians. It impresses them.”
“Yeah, well, you got my attention, too. But from now on, no side trips or no going off alone. I made the mistake of not stopping you before. I won’t make the same mistake again.”
Holly arched her eyebrows and tilted her head to one side while studying him. “In case you’re confused about this, McClellan, I don’t take orders from you.”
When he opened his mouth to speak she waved him to silence.
“Hold on. I’m not trying to take over this operation or tell you what to do. I’m just saying that I intend to look out for the interests of the FBI and do my job. As long as my goals mesh with yours, we won’t have any conflicts.”
“You think not?” He unscrewed the top on a fresh bottle of water and drank. “Seems to me you could have used my backup when that guy took your gun and radio.”
“He was armed to start with,” Holly said. “I wasn’t about to try to shoot him when he was aiming at the child.”
“Perfectly sensible.”
“Thank you.”
“I wonder if he was the one who shot at us before. I don’t suppose he told you how he managed to slip away or how many men are left at our station.”
“Unfortunately, no. He was alone on the trail and headed up so I assumed he was a hiker. That’s why I didn’t suspect him at first. If I’d been able to see his clothing before I asked for his help, I might have figured out who he was sooner and been better prepared.”
“Maybe we should require all criminals to rattle like a diamondback before they strike. Might cut down on crime.”
She made a silly face at him. “Very funny.”
“I thought so.” Gabe shrugged and drank more water. He had to keep their conversations as light as possible because every time he allowed himself to picture her being swept away by the flash flood, it tied him in knots. He’d tried to tell himself he felt the same about the loss of any life and quickly realized that wasn’t true. He was sorry for the drowned crook, sure, and would have been even more upset to lose tourists, but that wasn’t the same as what he was feeling in regard to Holly Forbes. He admired her beyond reason. Why he did was the critical question for which he currently had no answer.
Another thing Gabe refused to contemplate was what it would be like to bid her goodbye once this rescue and capture was over. The FBI was bound to send her away. Seeing each other again or having a chance to get well acquainted was not likely.
Thinking about that possibility was more than ridiculous, Gabe told himself. Forming a personal relationship would mean a total change of lifestyle for one or both of them and he was perfectly happy right where he was. He’d met and exceeded his goals and had no intention of ever being anything but a National Park Ranger.
“So get your head on straight and stop dreaming of a different future,” he told himself in disgust. “You worked too hard to get where you are to even consider throwing it all away for a pretty face.”
Except Agent Holly Forbes was so much more than that, his mind countered. She was courageous, intelligent, clever and more fun to match wits with than anyone he’d ever known. Given other circumstances he might have let himself fall for her.
His radio crackled. The negotiator had arrived at Lee’s Ferry and was being brought down to their location by boat because that was the fastest way.
Gabe’s eyes met Holly’s and saw a query there. “Our negotiator is on his way.”
“It’s a man, then?”
“Yes.”
“Where will he come ashore?”
“Over there. It’s not an official landing area but allowed in this case. Why?”
“Because I intend to be there to greet him,” she said flatly, “and ask why they decided to go over my head when I’m also trained to negotiate.”
“Maybe they figured men would respond best to other men.” The scowl she gave him left nothing to the imagination. She was furious.
“Men. They always assume a woman is less capable.”
Gabe decided to speak his mind. “Sometimes they are.”
“Oh, terrific. You, too?”
“Hear me out,” Gabe urged, lightly taking her arm to discourage her from storming off. “We’re generally stronger and larger, for one thing. And we tend to keep our emotions under control better than women do.” He arched an eyebrow and gave her a quirky grin. “Like now.”
She jerked her arm away but didn’t leave. “Point taken.”
“However,” he went on, “in the case of dealing with scared kids or being a crack shot or even having equal or more stamina, a woman can excel.”
Seeing her shoulders begin to relax told him he was on the right track. “You managed to rescue that woman and her son despite having little gear and no recent training here in the park. I consider that exemplary. Even if the higher-ups at the Bureau don’t fully appreciate you, I do.”
Holly’s wide eyes misted, reflecting the towering rocks in the distance and the sky above. Gabe didn’t tease her about being too emotional. He was pleased to have had the chance to offer moral support, especially considering what she’d revealed about losing her sister. If she hadn’t experienced such a dramatic event, perhaps she might even have become a ranger the way she’d once intended.
But she hadn’t. She wasn’t. And imagining working beside her all the time was idiotic. While she was here in the canyon, he’d look after her. Once she left, he’d put her out of his mind the way he had other women, other friends who came and went because they didn’t fit his lifestyle.
For the first time in recent memory, Gabe realized—and admitted—he was lonely.