11

He borrowed his mother’s car. It seemed the prudent thing to do after the last time. His old green Chevy pickup had rusted so badly while he was away that it was even easier to pick out of a lineup than he was—even with the ears. But the truck was loyal and he valued that above everything else. It was one of the things he’d learned in prison—who to trust (no one), who’s got your back (anyone who owes you). On the outside, it was less clear. So many things could shift and slide.

He sat in the car parked a couple of houses down from where Alicia lived. He wanted to smoke, but didn’t. He didn’t want the hassle of an argument. His mother hated cigarettes.

Because it was daytime, he slouched in the seat and hoped there wasn’t a nosy neighbor watching him as he stared at the house. He knew she usually came home around this time. She picked up her little girl at day care and came home an hour or so before the husband arrived. Who could have predicted that Alicia would marry Nathan Nielsen? She’d hated him in high school. But maybe that was just because Nathan had been such an ass to Eugene himself. Maybe, after everything that had happened, she didn’t care about how Nathan had treated him.

He saw Alicia’s car coming down the street toward him and congratulated himself again on using his mother’s nondescript Ford sedan. Alicia would know his truck anywhere. They’d had such good times driving in that truck, singing at the top of their lungs to the Proclaimers (Alicia in a retro/ironic way, but Eugene had meant every word) and talking about the future.

Reality crashed into his thoughts as Alicia pulled into her driveway and got out of the car. She walked to the other side and reached in to unbuckle the baby. He wished he could get close enough to see the baby. She was probably beautiful like her mother.

He had been waiting for this moment for weeks. Slowly working up the courage to talk to her. He hadn’t planned on this sense of paralysis. What if she rejected him? What if she didn’t want to be friends anymore? Could he take the disappointment?

As he sat debating with himself, another car pulled in.

Nathan. Home early. Eugene knew better than to hang around. He started up the sedan and drove slowly away from Alicia’s house.