The initial relief that washes over me dissipates. He wears the same cold expression he had last night when he found me on the phone. How can someone look so mean and lovely at the same time?
“Where were you?” he demands.
I level my voice to match his accusatory tone.
“I went for a run. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you. You surprised me.”
“A run? Where? Where did you run?”
“What does it matter where?” I ask.
He looks taken aback. “It matters because it’s not safe out in the forest.”
“What’s not safe about it?”
“Hikers have come across bears.” He sighs. “Look, I’m sorry. I kind of panicked when I woke up and you were gone.”
“You did?” A smile spreads across my face. He was worried. I matter to him.
His fingers gently stroke my forehead, pushing back my hair. “I promised Margaret I would watch over you.”
His words are like a slap, and my smile vanishes. I thought we had grown closer. All those nights he held me while I fell asleep. And especially after last night. Had he only done it to accommodate Margaret’s wishes? Am I nothing to him?
“It’s cold out here. Let’s go back inside.” He opens the front door.
As he ushers me inside, Lucy darts between our legs and into the house.
“Hey, how did she get out?”
“I may not have closed the door properly when I went for a run. I’m really sorry,” I apologize.
“Well, there’s another reason not to leave without me.”
We pull off our coats. Ellis doesn’t help me with mine. All the warmth and familiarity that existed these past few days has vanished. He has altered for me. How can I be so stupid to think for even a second that he would want me? He moves into the kitchen, but I stay rooted by our coats.
“So, Kalli, did you see anything out there?”
His arms are crossed as he leans against the kitchen island. He sounds casual and calm, but his eyes betray him. They are narrow and cold.
“Like what? A bear?”
He stares at me, waiting.
The frosty expression clinging to his face unhinges me. Something’s not right. Our connection has been severed, and I feel like I’m looking at a stranger.
“No, I didn’t see anything. Except the cat,” I lie, feeling the ripple of panic rise inside me again.
“You’re sure? Because you seemed like you were upset when I found you?”
“Yeah, well, you snuck up on me. I think you can understand why that would upset me,” I say, meeting his glare.
He shakes his head and lets his arms fall to his side. “Of course. Of course, I understand. I’m sorry. I should have realized. Especially after what you found out last night.” He looks like he’s about to come over to me but instead stays where he is. “How are you feeling?” His eyes are soft again.
I don’t know how to respond. The kind Ellis has returned. I stand by the front door, uncommitted as to whether I’m coming or going. My hand plays with the sleeve of my coat. Last night was awful. Even now, a part of me still can’t believe that Sammy’s gone. I can’t attach myself to the sorrow because my mind insists on replaying the scene that ends with his escape. Twisting the sleeve between my fingers, I just nod.
“You should still keep up your strength. Isn’t that what they say?” He grabs a paper bag from the counter and shakes it. “I brought these last night as a treat for breakfast. But ….” He pauses and wrinkles up his nose. “Well, you know,” he says simply.
I let the sleeve fall from my hand and take a couple of steps toward him.
“What did you get?”
“The best croissants in the entire world.”
“Sounds delicious,” I say, my voice distant and hollow. “I’ll just wash up a bit.”
“Yes. Absolutely.” His expression mirrors my own discomfort.
I shut the bathroom door behind me just in time. I grip the counter to steady myself as my whole body begins to shake. I regard myself in the mirror warily. What are you doing? Why aren’t you telling him? You can trust him. You can.
“Everything okay in there?” Ellis asks.
“Yup. Be out in a second.”
Get it together. The whispers were probably just hikers. Ellis even said that hikers go into the forest.
But the locked building? I’m so paranoid. There’s nothing weird about that either. It must be his workshop. He said he kept his inventions in a workshop.
I splash water on my face to smother my irrational worries. I rub each leg to suppress the shaking, dry my face on a towel, smooth out the straggly pieces of hair, and leave the bathroom.
Ellis is standing so close to the door that he has to take a step back as I come out.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just freaked a bit when I got up and you were gone.”
“I can’t go out? I can’t leave? I’m a prisoner?”
“It’s dark out. Remember what happened the last time you were in the dark on your own. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Right, because you don’t want to disappoint Margaret.”
He lifts my chin and stares into my eyes. “No, it has nothing to do with Margaret. It never did. You matter to me. I don’t want you to leave.”
And then Ellis kisses me. He places his lips onto mine and kisses me, and I don’t pull away. I don’t want to pull away. His lips are soft and strong at the same time. He wraps one arm around my waist and, with the other arm, pulls my head closer. My whole body responds and sinks into him. And then as quickly as it began, the kiss ends. I open my eyes to find him staring at me.
“I wasn’t leaving you. I would never just leave,” I say, meaning it. “I needed to clear my head. I’m having a hard time believing that Sammy is gone.”
“I know. It may take awhile for the real memory to come back.” He tilts his head slightly. “You could’ve woken me. I’d have come with you.”
“I didn’t want to wake you. I thought the fresh air would help. Plus, I haven’t been outside in a long time.”
“How about tomorrow we go on a hike?”
“Yes, I would like that,” I say.
Ellis rests his palm against my cheek. I close my eyes and relax my head into his hand. And then Ellis presses his lips to my cheek.
“Shall we have breakfast?” He leads me to the kitchen.
I close my fingers around his, feeling them intertwine with mine. He looks at me, and once again I’m halted by his astounding beauty. As I watch him assemble our breakfast I realize that my feelings for Ellis are changing. He’s more than just someone who provides a safe refuge. He’s someone I’m falling in love with.