Within seconds of Margaret and Fallon leaving, my muscles ease and my fingers loosen.
“Are you okay?” Ellis locks the front door.
“Yeah, I’m okay.”
“I had no idea that was part of the treatment. I’m really sorry,” he says.
I shake out my arms and legs, and stand up. I don’t want to spend any more time talking about Margaret and Fallon. I’ve already decided I’ll never let them near me again. I have one week to sort it all out.
I peer out of the window and notice the darkening sky. But inside, the room is washed in a lovely warm light. It looks almost as bright as when I arrived this morning, when the sun streamed in through the windows. I search the room for the source of light. I can’t see any lamps. And then I see them. Hundreds and hundreds of tiny little white lights illuminate the giant tree-like plants. They shimmer like Christmas trees.
They’re magical and scatter my thoughts for just a second to a happy memory of being wrapped in my mother’s arms. My dad had his arm around her shoulder, and the three of us moved like one, taking in the Christmas display of a field of pine trees glistening with lights. I wrap my arms around myself, trying to recreate the feeling of being loved and safe.
“You cold?” Ellis asks. He grabs a soft, fluffy blanket from one of the sofas and lays it on my shoulders. “It must be close to dinnertime. Do you want to eat in or go out?”
His question dispels my doubts. If he wanted to hurt me, he would never give me this choice.
“Stay in,” I say, because I’ll be back outside in the cold soon enough.
He has ready-made pizza dough in the fridge, which we layer with cheese and vegetables. Ellis warms some fresh rolls, and I help make a salad. He’s set places by the stools at the kitchen island, and I’m ecstatic that the placement of the stools allows our knees to graze.
This time I force myself to eat at an acceptable pace. I learned from my earlier overindulgence that my shrunken stomach needs to be treated delicately. I take tiny bites of the pizza and swallow each piece completely before taking another.
It’s a challenge to exercise such self-control. But my spirits are soaring. I can’t believe I am sitting next to the most heavenly looking person, eating deliciously warm food, with the prospects of existing like this for another week. It’s a dramatic change to where I’d been just twenty-four hours earlier.
I find out a few details about his life. His family lives out west. He moved here after high school and started a business selling stuff that he’s made. Ellis lights up when he talks about the inventions he’s working on, making him even more gorgeous. His car is the main thing. I kind of fade out when he goes into details about changing this and adding that. I get lost in the color of his eyes. I don’t want him to think I’m not interested in what he’s saying, so I ask him if I can see some of the stuff he’s made. Considering how excited he was talking about it, I expect him to agree instantly, but he looks taken aback.
“Yeah, sure. They’re in my workshop, so maybe later. It’s really late. You should get some rest,” he says, while we’re clearing up the dishes. “Margaret is brilliant, but you have been through a lot, and you shouldn’t get overtired.”
We pile everything into the dishwasher, and then I help him refill the cats’ bowls. I go into the bathroom to get ready and remember I don’t have any proper pajamas. I only packed a small backpack when I left home, a couple of changes of clothes, a towel, a blanket, my book, all the cash I had saved, and a photo of my little brother, Navi.
My heart clenches in a pang of guilt. Navi. From the second my dad placed him in my arms, I was hooked. He was so tiny. My parents were busy with their jobs so his care fell to me whenever I wasn’t at school.
Sita tried to take over his care when she barged her way into our lives. But even she couldn’t break our bond.
As soon as I got home from school, Navi would be glued to my side. When I did homework, he plunked himself really close and scribbled on sheets of paper with his crayons. Leaving him ripped my heart apart, but I didn’t know what else to do. I wasn’t safe. I told Sita and my mother what those men did to me. Sita didn’t care. My mother didn’t believe me. No one cared. And if I wasn’t safe, what good was I to him? I knew I had to get away. I had to survive if I was eventually going to be able to take care of Navi too.
I lean against the counter and press the photo to my chest, feeling my eyes burn. But then another image comes. Another boy with curly black hair. I close my eyes tightly, trying to see past the rolling fog that splinters his face. Who is this boy? Why can’t I remember him?
“Kalli, you okay?”
“Yeah, all good, Ellis.”
There is nothing in my bag that’s suitable to wear. I pick at my few tops. Perhaps, if I somehow tie them up, I can transform them into something that would catch Ellis’s eye. For the first time in my life, I’m actually trying to attract a guy’s attention. For the first time, I feel like a normal teenager. After several attempts, I realize that nothing can be done. I am stuck with a choice between a tattered blue T-shirt and a red one. His eyes are blue, so I pick blue. I roll up the sweatpants Ellis loaned me, hoping he won’t mind if I sleep in them, and leave the bathroom feeling defeated.
“Perfect timing. I just changed the sheets on the bed. It’s all ready for you,” he says, beaming.
I wrap my arms around myself, and dig my fingers into my ribs. What was I thinking? I’m not a normal girl. I can never be. Just the mere mention of a bed sends me reeling.
“But what about you?” I ask.
“Me? What about me?”
“Where will you sleep?” I try to keep my voice casual.
“Don’t worry about it.” His lips curve up at the corners. “As you can see, there are lots of options.” He nods at the several brightly colored sofas.
I let my arms fall at my side. “I can sleep on those,” I say, trying to keep my voice light. “You shouldn’t give up your bed.”
“It’s not a problem. I want to.” His hand brushes against my cheek.
And before I can protest anymore, he scoops me into his arms, and my heart hammers against my chest. But for the first time in a long time, it is not out of fear.
He gently tucks me in. There is so much I want to say to him, somehow, to let him know how grateful I am, but I can’t speak.
“Sleep well, Kalli,” he says, kissing me lightly on the top of my head.
I close my eyes, knowing I will never fall asleep again. I will just replay the last few moments over and over and over.