Trina
This was absolutely crazy. I wasn’t drunk anymore. That comfortably numb feeling was long gone. Nothing sobered me up faster than an animal twisting and screaming in the light of the full moon and coming out on the other side as a man. Not just any man, but quite possibly the best looking one I’d ever seen, and one that had promised to protect me by any means necessary.
I’d done a damn good job of protecting myself since I’d arrived in Idaho. The shelter and the girls. There was only so long I could hold it all up. I needed help. Admitting it, even to myself, burned a place inside me that I’d forgotten about a long time ago.
But this man, Shadow, was standing in the middle of my living room, wanting me to kiss him. His broad shoulders filled the room. Under the sweatshirt, tawny skin rippled over tight muscles, tapering down to a narrow waist. I’d seen what my Oregon sweatpants now covered, and the whole package was pretty damn impressive.
I was actually considering taking him up on his offer. Maybe I was still drunk.
I took a step forward and his body softened. It had been a long time since I’d kissed anyone. I killed the last man I kissed.
Maybe it was a good idea to kiss Shadow. Just kiss him. This wasn’t going to last, either. Since the accident, I refused to commit to anything besides the shelter. But even then, I gave the animals away. I never wanted any of them to stay with me. The goal was to get them to their forever home. Every relationship I had came with an expiration date. So it didn’t hurt so bad when it was over—or I ended it.
Shadow wouldn’t be staying, either. He could say what he wanted about protecting me, but he had to be chomping at the bit for his freedom. Before I’d taken him and kept him in a cage, he’d been in chains. He was using me to get his brothers out of dog jail, and I was using him, too. Maybe he could help me heal.
Nothing else had.
One more step. That’s all it would take to say yes to the kiss. My legs had never weighed more. Could I actually do it? I knew this feeling, the too-heavy air, the room spinning, and I hated it. But a slow smile spread across Shadow’s face, and suddenly I believed I could do anything.
Exhaling as I took the last step, I wasn’t ready to look up at Shadow. He tipped my chin up with one finger. So firm yet so gentle. That crazy hair brushed against my cheeks. I was fascinated by the streaks. He didn’t look old enough to have them.
“How old are you?” I asked. Our lips were so close and I had to say it fast before I stopped thinking.
Shadow chuckled softly. His cheek moved against mine when he answered. “Thirty-five.” Perfect. Three years old than me. Just like Ryan was.
“When did you start going gray?” Yeah, I was stalling. Please don’t let the accident take this away from me, too.
“It’s not gray, it’s silver. And I was born with it. A full head of hair complete with streaks. That’s how I got my name.” I wanted to come up with some snappy reply, but Shadow’s lips brushed against mine, so soft. Testing the waters. He was like his name in many ways, but it didn’t make him meek. He was a protector, a shield, safe harbor in the storm of my emotions I’d kept under wraps for way too long.
I rested one hand on his shoulder, and he pulled me into his warm body. I melted, and we were one as our lips moved against each other. No, Shadow wasn’t meek. He’d been starving when I found him, and he was hungry now for something completely different. Our teeth crashed against each other, our tongues tangled and our hearts beat in a furious rhythm.
My fingers wound through his hair, black and silver strands knotted around my fingers. I needed so much more than I could possibly ask for right now. Shadow had me by the ass, his fingers digging in. The pain was as delicious as his lips. My body tingled, awakening from its slumber.
It was supposed to be just a kiss. But it was so much more than that.
We separated with a gasp. If Shadow hadn’t held me my knees would’ve given out. I hadn’t let myself feel anything like that since the doctor came into my hospital room and gave me the news about Ryan. Feeling things wasn’t always good. It led to loss and heartbreak. I needed to remember that, now that Shadow had catapulted me back to the top of the mountain. It was a long, hard way down.
But not before I went up on my tiptoes for another taste. Shadow groaned against my mouth, this time slipping his hand under my shirt, stroking my back. I cringed, not used to that kind of touch. I’d gained so much weight since the accident. I didn’t know myself in this body, for so many reasons. But Shadow either didn’t see it or didn’t care.
This wasn’t right. I shook my head. I was either bat shit crazy or kissing someone who was definitely not human. Either way, I was bound to get hurt. This is exactly what everyone wanted me to do. Move on. But I couldn’t. My pain had become my armor, a second skin. I wasn’t ready to rip the bandage off.
“What are you going to do once your brothers are free?” I’d recovered from the kiss enough to break away from him. I needed to get him thinking about the world outside this room before we went to a place we couldn’t come back from.
Shadow’s eyes were still heavy-lidded, lust drunk, and he scraped his teeth against his swollen bottom lip. “Regroup. We haven’t been human since spring. Figure out why someone wanted us dead, if it wasn’t Ryker. And if it was, deal with him.” His chest rose with his breath.
“What do you want to do?” I asked. Shadow had lost so much. I knew he was the leader of his pack, even though he and one of the other wolves fought all the time. He wasn’t going to have the luxury of time before he had to make decisions. I didn’t envy him.
When I was in his position, I ran away from everything I’d ever known.
Shadow’s eyes were focused on something I couldn’t see. Clear and blue like the summer sky. For a minute, I thought he’d forgotten anyone was with him. “I want the same things I always have. I want the fighting and the petty bullshit to stop. I want my family to be safe and comfortable. I want the packs to be able to get along with each other and the people in The Falls.” He turned back to me, those eyes glittering and warm, like rays of sunshine fell from them. “And now, I want you.”