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Cathy gripped the phone. She was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of fragrant coffee in front of her. Sunlight streamed in through the sliding glass doors, yet suddenly it seemed as though a shadow had fallen across her. “What is it, Mom? Is Daddy sick?”
“No, no, nothing like that.”
“Then what, for heaven’s sake?”
“Dad and I finally got around to sorting out Don and Jenny’s things. You remember I didn’t feel I could cope with it all right away, and we put it in a rented locker?”
“Yes? What about it?” Cathy said, puzzled. What could her mother have found that upset her so much that her voice was trembling?
“We found the combination to that small personal safe they had and got it open.”
“And?” Cathy said impatiently, keeping one eye on Cory, who was screwing up his face and looking ready to scream in his playpen.
“We found a letter inside from Don to Jenny, to be opened in case of his death.”
“Really? How odd.”
“Well, since Jenny’s gone now, too, I opened and read it.”
“Yes, Mom,” Cathy said impatiently, sipping her hot coffee. “What did the letter say?”
“Don wrote that he wasn’t Cory’s father.”
“What?” She set down her cup so suddenly coffee splashed across the table. She got up to reach for a paper towel.
“You knew they’d used artificial insemination?”
“Jenny told me when she was so unhappy over not being able to get pregnant. But she said Don was the donor? Something about doing it this way increased the chances of her getting pregnant.” Cathy swabbed at the mess of spilled coffee and tossed the paper towel into the garbage can.
“That’s what she’d told me, too, so I’m sure she believed it. But in the letter we found, Don says it wasn’t true. He apologized for lying to Jenny about it, saying he couldn’t face the fact that he was sterile.”
Cathy’s thoughts were reeling. “So Cory is Jenny’s son, but not Don’s?”
“Yes.” Her mother drew a long, wavering breath, which Cathy knew meant she was fighting tears.
“I don’t see that it changes anything. He’s still Jenny’s son and my nephew. As his mother, Jenny had the right to ask me to adopt him, didn’t she?”
“I suppose.”
Cory began to whimper, then wail in earnest.
“Wait a minute,” Cathy said. “Cory’s not a Langer? But how can that be when he looks exactly like Don?”
“I...I haven’t told you the rest.”
“Cory is crying, Mom. Please tell me, so I can go tend to him.” Her thoughts were whirling. This wasn’t making any sense.
“He looks like Don because the sperm donor was Don’s identical twin, Dave Langer.”
“Oh, my God,” Cathy said, her knees feeling too weak to hold her.
Cory’s screams reached decimal levels.
“My, he does have good lungs, doesn’t he? Just one more thing, dear. I sent you the letter last night by overnight mail,” her mother said. “I thought you’d want to have it.”
“Thanks, Mom. I...I really have to go. ’Bye.”
“I love you, Cathy. Kiss Cory for me.”
Cathy hung up the phone and numbly picked up Cory. His screams turned to baby chatter, and she mechanically went through the mothering chores of changing and feeding him while her mind struggled to accept her new reality.
Dave was Cory’s father. He knew, of course. He’d always known. He had donated the sperm, so he’d known from day one that the baby was his.
And he and Don had kept this fact from her and from Jenny. How could he have done such a thing? She and Jenny had both been lied to. Oh, God. If she’d known, Jenny probably would have asked Dave to adopt Cory instead of her.
No wonder Dave was so attached to the boy, so concerned over his care. And he hadn’t said a word, damn him. He’d let her think he was only Cory’s uncle. The nerve of the man.
Another thought struck her. Did Dave have legal rights to Cory? Would he try to contest her adoption? If he’d wanted to, why hadn’t he done so right after Don and Jenny died? Or maybe he had! She remembered Don’s lawyer telling her Dave wasn’t too happy about Jenny leaving Cory in her care, but he hadn’t said why. Had he known about this?
Surely the adoption was a done deal. Or was anything a done deal if you were rich and could afford the best lawyers? They could always find a loophole in the law.
Oh, God! Could she lose her son?
Worse, she’d had sex with Dave. She was involved with the father of her baby. She didn’t take sex lightly. But did he?
Was he really interested in her, or only in courting her so he could be near his son? He’d said nothing about love, she remembered, her face flaming in sudden embarrassment. He’d only talked about want and need. That wasn’t love, it was lust. And she’d practically thrown herself at him like a lovesick teenager.
She was a fool. Again. Just like before, in California. Hadn’t she always been a fool about men? Her wonderful luck was holding, as usual. Par for the course, Cathy dear.
Cathy put Cory down for his nap, too upset to eat lunch herself. She tried to work but couldn’t concentrate. The gray squirrel and green turtle in her story refused to look natural under her brush.
When the UPS man brought the overnight letter an hour later, she thought she was prepared. But the sight of the words in black and white brought tears to her eyes all over again.
Staring out the window, she tried to blink them away as she watched gentle waves splash against the lakeshore. The sunshine sparkled off the blue water, mocking her with its beauty.
Where did she go from here? What should she do?
* * * *
Dave headed for the lake as usual after work. It was a lovely day, sunny with only a little breeze blowing. A perfect day to go boating on the lake. He had plenty of time before dark. If only he could convince Cathy she didn’t have to work for a couple of hours. She worked much too hard. If only he could convince her to accept some child support from him, her finances wouldn’t be so darned tight, and she wouldn’t feel pressured to work so many hours at her easel.
He’d try again. Should he ask his mom to convince her to accept his help? She might take advice from an older woman easier than from him. Or Tess or Jody. She seemed to like Tess and Jody. Maybe she’d listen to them.
Humming a happy tune, he parked his silver Mercedes and strode to her house.
He had to ring twice before she finally opened the door. When he saw her red-rimmed eyes and tear-streaked face, his gut clenched with an icy dread. Something was terribly wrong.
He stepped inside and reached to take her in his arms, his voice hoarse. “What’s the matter, Cathy? Is Cory all right?”
Neatly sidestepping his attempt to embrace her, she said coldly, “Cory’s fine.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“You tell me what’s wrong.” She closed the door behind him with a sharp click and turned away to pick up an envelope off the table.
She handed it to him, eyes narrowed and her chin raised in an ‘I dare you to deny it’ attitude. “My mother sent me this.”
She stood there, studying his face as he opened it.
He glanced at her, sharply aware of her unusual actions, and the cold knot tightened in his gut. He immediately recognized Don’s handwriting and pulled out the letter. He noticed the date and knew from the first lines what it was.
She turned away, strode to the window, and stared out at the lake, her back stiff.
Past dry lips, he got out, “Where did your mother get this?”
She wheeled to watch him, feet spread and eyes blazing. “It was in Don’s safe,” she said, her voice dripping more icicles than a Minnesota roof in March. “Mom and Dad found it when they were going through Jenny’s things.”
“I see.” So, Don had left a confession of their secret after all. On one hand, he felt elated with relief that their secret was out and he could claim his son. He wanted to tell the whole world that Cory was his son!
On the other hand, he was afraid of what this meant to Cathy to make her so upset.
Her anger about it was clear. He’d never seen her face look so furious, nor her eyes so narrowed.
“I can explain,” he began. “Don wanted it this way. It meant a lot to him.”
“Don’s dead. You didn’t have to honor his wishes any longer.”
“I suppose not. But I felt I should, anyway.”
“That’s not the point. You lied to me!” She spat the words at him, arms akimbo.
He shook his head. “How did I lie? I never said I wasn’t Cory’s father.”
“You never told me you were, either.”
“The question never came up, did it?”
“Obviously, it should have.” She turned and marched to the kitchen, grabbing a cola from the refrigerator. She popped the top and tipped it up, then plopped into a chair at the table.
Tension made his mouth feel like it was full of cotton lint. He looked at her cold drink with longing but refused to ask her for one. The fact that she didn’t offer him one showed how angry she was with him. Cathy was always the perfect hostess.
“Cathy, please,” he said. He sat across from her at the table, hoping the fact that she’d stopped pacing meant she was calming down. He tried again to explain. “It was Don’s secret. It wasn’t mine to reveal.”
“Don is dead. There was no reason to keep it a secret any longer,” she repeated.
“Revealing it felt like a betrayal of his trust.”
“You should have told Jenny.”
He closed his eyes against the pain her words reawakened. “Jenny was in no shape to hear the truth after the accident. Besides, I wasn’t there, remember?”
“That doesn’t excuse you.”
He sighed. “I’m not saying it does, Cathy.”
“Then what’s the point of arguing about it?”
“I don’t know. What is?”
“You wanted me to be dependent on you and your family. Insisting I stay here in this expensive house when I can’t afford to pay a fair rent for it. Wanting me to take money and gifts from you and your family.”
Hurt and furious, he bit out, “I have a right to support my own son. In fact, if circumstances had been different, a court would have actually ordered me to pay support for him.”
“I told you before, I don’t want any money from you or your family. And I want you to stop inviting me to your family functions, trying to convince me otherwise.”
“You and Cory are our family. Why shouldn’t we help you and include you in our family gatherings? Don’t be ridiculous.”
Her face went white. “Oh, now I’m being ridiculous, too!”
“Cathy,” he said, desperately. “That isn’t what I meant.” How had things deteriorated to this level?
“Then what did you mean?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want this to change anything between us.”
“Change anything? Change anything?” Her voice rose and she stood up, knocking over the chair in her fury and not noticing. “You used me to get close to Cory, didn’t you? Cory is my son! I adopted him, at Jenny’s request. It’s legal, and you’re not taking him away from me. He’s mine and I’ll never give him up, do you hear?”
“Cathy, I don’t want to take him away from you. I’d never do that to you. Or to Cory. He loves you. You’re the only mother he remembers. How could I take him away from his mother?”
Desperately, he tried to calm her, to placate her with words. She was as angry as a mama bear with someone between her and her cubs.
He rose to his feet and started toward her, wanting to take her in his arms, to show her how much he cared about her.
“Stay away from me.”
He stopped, afraid of angering her further. “Cathy, please, listen to me.”
“You pretended to care about me, even making love to me—” Her voice broke. “Love. You don’t know the meaning of the word.”
“That’s not true. I wanted to see my son, yes. Can you blame me for that? But I do care about you,” he said. “How can you think that I don’t?”
Striding to the door, she swung it open. She turned and ordered, “Get out!”
She was in no mood to hear anything he said, Dave realized. With a hopeless shrug, he obeyed. He could hear Cory begin to cry in his crib. They’d awakened him.
“We’ll talk about this after you’ve cooled down,” he said, disgusted at her attitude.
“No, we won’t. I don’t ever want to see you again,” she shouted at him as he passed her. She slammed the door after him.
Wincing at the anger she’d displayed, he walked out to his car and sat there a few minutes, hoping she’d change her mind and call him back. The door remained closed.
As he realized he still held Don’s letter, tears blinded him. It was his final connection to his twin. God, I miss you, Don. But what a mess you and your secret have made for me, Bro.
Wiping away the tears, he re-read the letter. Finally, he slipped it in his pocket, started his car, and slowly drove away.
Cathy was right about one thing. It certainly had changed things between them.
* * * *
At home he sank onto his sofa and read Don’s letter again, realizing it gave him the proof he needed to undo the adoption of his son. Was it time to talk to his father about that? Or to claim visitation rights to Cory at least. Cathy had no right to separate him from his son.
But he didn’t want to use legal means to obtain his rights, he realized. He wanted Cathy to accept him willingly. He wanted them to enjoy jokes and laughter together. He wanted to kiss and hold her and make love all night long again.
He wished their relationship could return to what it had been before she’d learned the truth. If only it could. He closed his eyes and dropped his face into his hands. Would time heal the rift between them?
He stayed away from her and Cory for a week, counting the hours since he’d last seen them. He called and only got her answering machine. She was probably there, only refusing to answer the phone, he decided. So he left messages, telling her he missed them and wanted to see them. Each night he checked his answering machine, hoping there was a message from her, any indication at all that she wanted to see him again.
He bought a new picture album and put the pictures they’d taken in it. He considered telling her he had a legal right to see his son and could force her to let him whether she wanted to or not. But he wanted her to smile at him and share his visits with Cory. He didn’t want to have to pick up his son from a hostile mother like the ex-husbands he knew did. So he waited for her to cool down.
Finally, he tried stopping by after work. Her little red car stood in the driveway, so he was sure she was home.
Nervous butterflies churned in his stomach as he rang the doorbell. And rang it again. And again.
Was she just not answering? Or was something else wrong? Were they hurt? No one had heard from her in days. They could be sick or even dead!
Suddenly feeling unreasonably panicky and needing to be sure she was all right, he walked around to the deck on the lake side of the house.
Looking through the glass patio door, he saw Cathy working in the kitchen and Cory in his playpen. He let out his breath in a rush of relief. They were both fine.
She glanced up and saw him, then turned her back on him. Pain swept through him at her dismissal.
She’d probably seen his car and heard the doorbell and had only refused to answer the door because she knew it was him.
Furious at her attitude, he walked back around the house to his car and left.
She wasn’t going to forgive him anytime soon. She wasn’t leaving him much choice. He wanted to see his son. He’d talk to his father about getting his parental rights when he came up from Florida for their promised visit.
* * * *
Twice, a few days apart, he went out to the lake and went fishing in his boat. Each time he made sure he saw them both to be sure that they were all right. But she wouldn’t talk to him. He left her another angry message on her answering machine, telling her she was the most stubborn woman he’d ever met.
Once he saw her on the street in Sugar Lake, but she saw him, too, and crossed the street to avoid meeting him. She was still mad at him.
Throughout the next few days, he worried. What if she decided to bolt and move back to California? Deciding it was time to enlist the help of his sister in getting her to stay, he went to see Jody.
Jody was weeding her petunia bed and gladly took a break. She grabbed colas for them and plopped down in a white wicker chair on her porch.
“Sit, Bro, and tell me what’s wrong.”
“What makes you think something’s wrong?”
“It’s mid-afternoon on a Wednesday. You’re here with me instead of in your office with your nose stuck in front of your computer screen, drawing blueprints.”
She tipped back her cola and waited, watching him.
“You’re right. Something is wrong,” he said with a sigh. And he told her the whole story.
“You and Don were playing your old switcheroo game again, eh, Dave?”
“It’s not a bit funny, Jody,” he admonished.
“I know. I haven’t seen any laughter out of either you or Cathy lately.”
“I guess not.” Realizing what she’d said, he asked, “You’ve seen her then?”
She nodded. “At various times around town.”
He drank the cold soda, wishing he knew what to do about this lousy situation. It was taking a lot out of him. He probably shouldn’t have told Jody.
But what did it matter if everyone knew, now? Cathy was the only one whose opinion mattered.
“So are you going to tell everyone Cory’s yours?”
“Not until I tell the folks and work it out with Cathy. Right now she’s not even talking to me.”
“That sounds pretty drastic.”
“What if she decides to go back to L.A.?”
Jody frowned. “She said living costs were too expensive there. Do you think she’ll go back to California?”
“God, I hope not. Maybe you could try to get her more involved with things in town,” he begged Jody. “You know, so she feels more at home here. So she’ll want to stay.”
“I’ve been doing that ever since she arrived,” Jody protested. “So has Jane. She’s involved in half a dozen civic projects already.”
“Jane?”
“Jane Meadows. You remember Jane and Eldon, the neighbors on the south side of the cabin?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“She and Cathy have become friends, I gather.”
Getting up and pacing the porch, he said, “Good. I don’t want her to leave.”
“I went to see her last week,” Jody said, eyeing him as though uncertain whether to tell him something. “I hadn’t seen either of you.”
He turned to Jody eagerly. “How was she? I mean, did she and Cory seem all right?”
Jody smiled and nodded. “They’re both fine. She showed me her work, and Cory was playing happily. Why don’t you ask her yourself?”
He turned away dejectedly and admitted, “I told you, she won’t see me.”
“Aha. I figured you two had a big fight.”
He turned back to eye her anxiously. “Why? What did she say?”
“It’s more what she didn’t say,” Jody said, with a smirk. “She didn’t say anything about you at all.”
He sat in the wicker chair again. “And that’s good?”
Jody grinned. “She was all ears every time I mentioned your name. She wanted to hear about you, all right.”
“Well, she won’t talk to me.”
“Have you tried?”
He stared at her. “Of course I’ve tried. She lets her answering machine pick up her phone. I leave messages but she won’t return my calls. I’ve been out there several times. She won’t answer the door. If she sees me, she turns her back on me. She crossed the street to avoid me in town the other day.”
Jody laughed. “That does sound like she’s pretty mad.”
He glared at her, then got up and leaned against the support post. A moment later he pushed off and paced to the end of the porch and back. Rubbing his neck, he asked, “What am I going to do?”
“Have you told her you love her?”
“How can I, when she hates me?”
“It only takes three little words.”
“Ha!”
“The right three words,” Jody insisted.
“She won’t listen to me.”
“Mom’s coming on Friday,” Jody announced, as though that solved his problem.
“Oh.” He groaned. Too late, he remembered that Jody told their mother everything. “Just what I need. Now she’ll find out, too, and I’ll never hear the last of this.”
“Mom wants to see Cory. You can’t blame her for that. He’s the first grandchild, and she hasn’t seen him since the funeral.”
“Why didn’t she come a couple of weeks ago, when Cathy was still talking to me?”
“You know they’ve been looking forward to this wonderful Caribbean cruise. They’d been planning it for months. You couldn’t expect her to change it. Besides, how could she know you were going to stir up trouble?”
“I didn’t stir things up.”
“Well, you hid the truth from Cathy and all of us, and that’s what caused the problems!”
“Oh, sure. Side with Cathy,” Dave sputtered. “I should have known better than to think my family would back me up.”
“That’s not fair,” Jody protested.
“Isn’t it? Sorry to have bothered you, Sister dear. I’d better return to work before my secretary chews off my head, too. This is not my day.” He strode off the porch and back to his car.
“Bye, Bro,” Jody called after him.
Gunning the powerful motor, he spun off down the gravel drive, not caring that he was kicking up dust and making his freshly washed car dirty.
Did he need to give Cathy more space? he wondered, driving back to his office. Would she cool off if he left her alone for a while?
But he’d already given her almost two weeks. How much time did she need? What else could he do?
How had she and Cory become such a necessary part of his life in so short a time? It didn’t seem possible, yet the pain in his gut at her rejection told him it was not only possible, but true.
