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Dave drove out to Cathy’s before noon, his stomach tied into a nervous knot. Would she talk to him? She’d probably give him the icicle treatment again.
He parked and rang her doorbell.
She answered it promptly and even gave him a little smile, sending a warm ray of hope shimmering along his tight nerve endings. She looked lovely in a casual pair of blue slacks and a matching soft cashmere sweater. Very cuddly and huggable. But the expression on her face wasn’t very welcoming.
He swallowed and got out, “Hello, Cathy.”
She held open the door for him, and he stepped inside. “Come on in. Cory’s ready. He seems fine, but he didn’t eat much lunch. So if he’s hungry again, it’s okay to give him more to eat. I put a bottle and a couple of jars of his food in the diaper bag.”
Nope, she hadn’t thawed. Her words were welcoming, but her voice was cold and impersonal, as though she were instructing a teen babysitter, not the man who’d made love to her. Would they ever get back to a warm, loving footing?
“All right, I’ll feed him if he says he’s hungry.”
Cory walked over to him, saying, “Dada.”
“Hi, pal. How’s it going?” He knelt down and opened his arms for a hug. Cory’s soft baby arms around his neck felt so good. God, he’d missed the little tyke.
“Where are you planning to take him?”
He stood and turned to face Cathy. “I thought we’d go to a small zoo. It’s about a half hour from here, and they have some baby animals in their petting area.”
“All right,” she said, doubt clouding her voice. “But keep a sharp eye on him. Don’t let him put his hands in the cages or anything. He’s not at all afraid. He might get bitten or scratched if he gets too close.”
“I’ll watch him every minute, Cathy,” he said, irritation at her worry creeping into his voice. Did she think he’d let anything happen to his baby son?
“Maybe you should just stay here with him,” she suggested, looking doubtfully at Cory.
“Cathy, he needs to leave the house once in a while and learn what the rest of the world looks like. He needs to experience new things.”
She sent him an angry frown. “Are you saying I’m not taking proper care of my son?”
Had she taken that as more criticism from him? Well, darn it, it was. “Maybe. Don’t baby him. I don’t want him to grow up to be a sissy, afraid of anything new.”
She blanched and pressed her lips tightly together.
“Fine. You show him lots of new things.”
She picked up Cory to kiss him goodbye, then handed Cory to him, and the diaper bag. Her voice dripping ice, she said, “I put a sweater in here in case it turns cooler and a change of clothes in case he spills something and gets wet.”
“Okay. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Cathy.”
Giving him a tiny smile, she thawed a bit. “Thank you for taking him today, Dave. I do appreciate it. But this doesn’t change anything else between us, you know.”
He sighed and admitted, “I know. You’ve said that before.”
She lifted her chin stubbornly as if he’d again criticized her for not forgiving him. “You’ll have him back here by five?”
He eyed her anxious face and relented. “Whenever you’d like, Cathy. I have the rest of the day free.”
She flushed, as though remembering what they’d done with the long evenings on his other free days. “Five is fine. Jody assured me I’ll be finished helping and able to be home by then.” The ice was back in her voice.
* * * *
Dave thoroughly enjoyed the day with Cory. The little tyke walked beside him, holding his hand, and was interested in everything at the little zoo. When he tired of walking along the path, Dave picked him up and carried him from pen to pen. Cory didn’t seem in the least afraid of anything and repeated the animal’s names after him at each one. “Bear. Yion. Cougah. Deer. We have deer at our house.”
“Yes, you do,” Dave said, surprised that Cory had used a whole sentence. Pride surged within him. He sure had a smart little guy.
Cory chattered almost constantly, mostly in one or two word comments, with lots of squatting in front of cages and fences and pointing his little fingers at various animals.
When he grew a bit whiney, they left. Dave stopped at a restaurant, took him to the men’s room and changed him, then got a booth and ordered a sandwich for himself. He put Cory in a child’s seat and fed him. Cory seemed cheerful and cooperative at first, but then his eyelids began to droop. Deciding Cory needed a nap, Dave put him in his car seat and drove back to Cathy’s. It was only four, but he was sure Cory napped earlier most days, so he’d probably screwed up his routine by taking him to see the animals. Oh, well.
Back at the house, he used his own key to enter, washed Cory’s hands and face, and tucked the sleepy boy into his crib. Sitting on the leather couch in the Great Room, he picked up the Minneapolis Tribune, but soon found his head lying back and his own eyes closing.
It had been a long and busy week at the office. Two customers had decided they wanted major changes to the floor plans on homes he’d designed for them, which had entailed a considerable amount of recalculations to cost figures. The work was exacting and time consuming, and he’d put in quite a few extra hours. But he’d welcomed it, because it took his mind off the fight with Cathy.
Now, here in her house, surrounded by the light floral scent of her perfume and her son’s toys, the pain of their separation returned with a vengeance.
Would she ever forgive him? Would he hold her soft body in his arms again, feel her squirm with pleasure at his touch? Would she ever again allow him to sink into her willing softness and find sweet release?
* * * *
Cathy started the drive home, wondering how Dave and Cory had enjoyed the day. She hoped Cory hadn’t turned whiney, as he sometimes did when he tired. And, if he had, that Dave had coped with him all right. He seemed to have a lot of patience.
As she turned off the blacktop onto the graveled road to the lake, it began to rain. She slowed, trying to see where she was going through the streaming water on her windshield.
A quarter mile further and a sudden bang and jerkiness told her something was wrong. She managed to keep the car under control and pulled to the side of the narrow road, then stopped and got out to look. The rain drenched her the moment she stepped outside the car, and her dressy shoes sank into the gravel.
A rear tire was flat. Now what? She’d never changed a tire in her life. She doubted there was an auto club service out here. Who knew when the next car might come along on this country road?
She glanced ahead. She couldn’t be more than a mile from the house. She’d have to walk. Thank goodness she’d worn flats today, knowing she’d have to work, but they were still far from ideal walking shoes.
Grabbing her purse, she locked up the car, wishing she kept an umbrella in her car. Ducking her head against the rain, she started out. Thank goodness she didn’t have Cory with her when she had this problem.
The gravel was uneven and hard to walk on. She almost lost her footing several times but plodded on. She was soon drenched, but at least the temperature was warm.
When she at last walked into her yard, the first thing she saw was Dave’s silver Mercedes sitting there. Her pulse sped up. He was here. She hoped he’d had no problems with Cory. The little guy could be a handful sometimes.
But she couldn’t deny Dave access to his own son. Still, that was all she would allow him...to see his son. It didn’t mean she was resuming their relationship. She didn’t want anything more to do with him other than giving him the chance to visit his son.
He’d had the nerve to criticize the way she was raising her son, too. But Cory is his son, too, her conscience pricked. Yes, his son, too, she admitted grudgingly.
Stepping inside, she saw Dave asleep on her couch. Smiling, she put down her purse. Cory wore him out, poor guy. Men have no stamina when it comes to taking care of kids.
When she closed the door, Dave sat up.
“How’d it go?” she asked, drawing in a sharp breath when he yawned, stood, and stretched. The man had a wonderful body. His muscles strained the fabric of his red knit cotton shirt. She looked away, trying not to remember how good it had felt to have those strong arms holding her close. Warmth swept through her, but she pushed it away. She wouldn’t weaken. Their relationship was history.
“It went fine,” he said, turning to her with a smile. His smile disappeared. “What happened? Why are you all wet?”
“Because it’s raining.”
“Funny. You know what I mean. You shouldn’t get that wet walking from the car to the house.”
“No,” she admitted. “I had a flat about a mile down the road, so I walked in.”
“You don’t have a cell phone?”
She shook her head. “I have enough bills. I can’t afford a cell phone.”
“Cathy, you need a cell phone here in the country. What if you had trouble when Cory was with you? You couldn’t call for help.”
“I’d wait for another car to stop.” She put up a hand in an attempt to straighten her dripping curls. “I must look a mess.”
“No umbrella? Nobody stopped to help you?”
“I didn’t see a soul, Dave. And I never joined the Girl Scouts, so I wasn’t prepared. It was only about a mile back, on the gravel road. Where’s Cory?”
“He’s napping. He loved the animals. Oh, and he used a whole sentence when he saw the deer. He told me you had them at your house, too.”
She slipped out of her wet shoes and grinned. “He’s starting to talk a lot more now.”
“He’s changed, even in the short time since I last saw him.”
She nodded, agreeing. “Babies develop fast at this age.”
“You’d better change out of those wet clothes.”
“I will, right away,” she said.
“Give me your keys. You do have a spare, I hope?”
“Yes, of course. But I’ve never tried changing a tire, so I didn’t want to attempt it.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“It’s still raining.”
He glanced out. “Not so much now. It’s just a summer shower. The sun will be out in a few minutes.”
“Well, wait until it stops then, and Cory and I will go with you.”
“Why?”
She raised an eyebrow. “To drive my car up here, of course. You can’t drive two of them after you change the tire, can you?”
He laughed. “Good thinking. I must still be half asleep. Go change.”
Settling back onto the sofa, he waited for her to put on dry clothes.
Cory woke before she appeared, so he went to get him from his crib, loving the way Cory hugged his arms around his neck as he carried him back to the Great Room.
When Cathy appeared, she’d brought an umbrella.
“I don’t think you’ll need that, now,” he said, pointing to the sunlight shining off the lake.
“Well, the umbrella’s going into my car, anyway,” she said. “For the next time I need it.”
She got into his car while he strapped Cory in, then got in himself. The luxurious smell of leather blended with the faint odor of his shaving lotion. The car seemed suddenly very small. She was only inches from touching him. If she reached out—
What was she thinking? She sat up straighter, watching for her red Chevy on the wet, curvy, evergreen-lined road.
“It’s just up ahead, around this bend,” she said.
He pulled up close to her car and opened his trunk. She got out and watched him work, handing him tools as he asked for them. She tried to remember how he did it but was sure she’d forget by the next time she needed the information. It took him only a few minutes to change the tire.
She drove her car back to her house. He followed, with Cory still in his car. So much for standing on her own feet. There were so many things she didn’t know how to do.
He carried Cory inside for her, and she turned to take him. “Thanks for your help, Dave. I appreciate it.”
“I...I hope you’ll let me see Cory often. I could take him for a few hours, like I did today. That would give you a break, as well.”
His voice sounded hopeful, yet uncertain. Did he consider her a monster?
“Of course. Cory’s your son. I won’t deny you the privilege of seeing him,” she said. She knew her voice sounded stiff and formal, but she couldn’t help it.
“The right to see him. Thank you,” he corrected, standing there awkwardly.
“Yes.” She flinched at his emphasis on the word “right.” Of course, he had a moral right to see his son, but she didn’t want to invite him in to sit or to stay for dinner.
“Mom said you’re having a party here for Cory’s first birthday on Wednesday?”
She flushed and felt like a heel, letting him be the one to bring it up. It was her party, she should have been the one to mention it and invite him. Where were her manners?
“Yes. Wednesday at six,” she said. A relieved look crossed his face as if he’d thought she’d be so mean as to not invite him. Apparently she did seem that heartless to him.
Nodding, he said, “I’ll bring the steaks.”
“That’ll be a big help,” she said, trying to put some measure of warmth into her voice.
“I guess I’d better be going.”
“Thanks again for taking care of Cory.”
“You don’t need to thank me for taking care of my own son,” he said irritably. “Call me, anytime.” He said goodbye and left, his face sad.
With an empty, hopeless feeling, she closed the door behind him. She missed the camaraderie they’d enjoyed such a short time ago. But he wasn’t the man she’d thought he was then. She’d better get over him. That wasn’t going to be easy.
She put Cory down onto the floor and gave him his blocks to play with and sat on her couch, staring out at the lake. Life had been so cheerful a couple of weeks ago. Now she felt as though a gray cloud had descended around her, closing out happiness and warmth.
And leaving her cold and alone. Would she ever feel at home here? Had it been a mistake to move here, so far away from her own family and friends?
* * * *
What he needed, Dave thought sadly on the way home, was to avoid the long, lonely evening by going somewhere. Maybe to a dance. He needed some company.
He drove to a club he hadn’t been to in ages and ate a hamburger at the bar, listening to the little band playing in the corner of the tiny dance floor. All the women there looked garish and unattractive to him. He couldn’t imagine any of them with a baby on her hip or wearing paint-spattered jeans.
He sipped a beer and thought of Cathy with her long, dark, shiny hair. How it had looked spread across her white pillowcase when they’d made love. How silky it had felt when he’d run his fingers through it. How she’d smelled of soap and floral perfume and warm woman.
Damn. He shifted uncomfortably on the barstool. His jeans had grown tight thinking about her. He needed to stop this. She wasn’t interested in him anymore. She’d made that clear enough. Yes, she’d tolerate having him around—like inviting him to Cory’s party because his mother had asked her to.
She’d agreed to continue letting him see Cory. That would have to be enough. But what if she got married, maybe to that trucker, Harry? Or moved away? He could lose his son. Not to mention the woman he wanted in his bed. Yes, he wanted her. Even if he wasn’t the marrying kind.
A tall, leggy blonde asked him to dance. He nodded and followed her out onto the tiny dance floor. For the next hour, he danced, bought her a couple drinks, and tried to make conversation.
But his mind wasn’t on the blonde, and he wasn’t interested in her attempts to entice him to take her home. Finally, bored and unhappy, he left the bar, went home, and fell into bed. He couldn’t even remember her name.
Frustrated, he dreamed of making love with Cathy and woke up drenched in sweat.
He worried she’d never forgive him and would find someone else. He couldn’t stand the thought of her making love with anyone but him.
He fell asleep again at last. This time he dreamed she and Cory were stalled on a lonely road. No one stopped to help them, and Cory cried and cried.
Again he woke in a cold sweat. This time he vowed to do something about that situation, whether Cathy wanted him to or not.
* * * *
On Wednesday, Dave bought the steaks and a bright red fire truck for Cory and headed out to Cathy’s house. He thought of it as her house now, even though it was still half his. Would it ever be theirs to share? That no longer seemed a possibility. For a few weeks there, when they’d been so happy together, he’d hoped she and he and Cory would make a family. His mother still seemed to think it was possible. But she didn’t realize how angry Cathy was at him. She didn’t know Cathy like he did. Cathy was never going to forgive him.
Several cars were already parked along the drive leading to Cathy’s house. He recognized Jody’s black Chevrolet and Cathy’s red car, but not the others.
His mother answered the door. She took the birthday gift from him and waved him inside. “Come on in. Cathy’s on the phone with her mother. I hope you brought plenty of steaks. Tess is here, and Harry, one of Cathy’s friends.”
“I brought plenty of steaks.” His stomach knotted, and he quickly scanned the Great Room. He spotted the big trucker out on the deck, holding Cory and talking to Tess. He’d planned the extra steaks for Cathy, hoping she would invite him back to share them another time. “I’ve met Harry. He’s the guy who helped Cathy move here from California,” he told his mother.
She raised an eyebrow. “So that’s why Cory knows him so well. He seems nice enough.”
“Yeah?” Dave said, trying to keep the animosity out of his voice. His son did not belong in that guy’s arms. “I’ll put these in the fridge. Tell me when you think it’s time to put them on the grill.”
“Hi, Dave.”
His father appeared beside Angela. He wore a warm smile, and his voice was as strong and welcoming as ever. He looked tired, though. Dave noted the new lines around his father’s blue eyes. There seemed to be more white hair along his temple, too. Or did it only show up more against his dark Florida tan?
He greeted his father with a hug and talked for a minute, then headed out to the deck.
He gave Tess a hug and her cheek a quick kiss. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“Cathy stopped over a few days ago and invited me,” Tess said. “I couldn’t pass up a chance to see my old buddy or his parents again.”
Turning to Harry, he said, “Hello, Harry.”
“Dave,” Harry returned, eyeing him, as though wondering what Dave was doing there.
Dave ignored him and held out his hands to Cory, who leaned toward him, so that Harry was obliged to let him go. “Hi, Cory! How’s my birthday boy?”
“Dada!” Cory hugged him and began a stream of baby chatter, most of it unintelligible.
“Daddy?” Tess asked, surprised.
“Yes,” Dave said shortly, feeling a hot flush creep up his neck. Did he dare explain that he was Cory’s father, now that Cathy and his family knew anyway? But that seemed disloyal to Don somehow, so he said no more about it. Besides, he didn’t feel like explaining things like donating semen to Tess and Harry.
“Well, you and Don do look exactly alike. Maybe he does remember Don after all, though he’s a bit young for that,” Tess said doubtfully.
“Maybe,” Dave said, and let the conversation drift to catching up on news with Tess.
Harry wandered back into the house to talk to Dave’s father, George, leaving Tess and Dave alone on the patio with Cory.
After a while, Cathy appeared at the patio door. “We’re ready for you to start the steaks, Dave.”
“Okay.” He handed Cory to Tess and went inside for them. His father was still talking to Harry. Jody and Angela were helping Cathy put out the rest of the food on the table.
He retrieved the steaks and went back outside, started the gas grill, and chatted with Tess while they cooked. Cathy was inside talking to Harry and she barely seemed to notice he was there. She had no trouble talking to Harry, though.
Somehow he got through the long party. He talked to his father a while on the patio. He saw Cathy send them a couple of worried looks, but she didn’t come out to join them. He wondered if she didn’t like his father but could think of no reason why she shouldn’t.
Dave helped serve the food and clean up, then watched Cory open gifts.
When Cory opened the second one from him, he saw Cathy give a surprised gasp. “A cell phone? For a baby?”
He shook his head. “For the baby’s safety. But it’s for his mom to use,” he said. Glancing around at the questioning looks on the faces of the other guests, he explained about Cathy’s flat tire and having to walk a mile in the rain. “The fees are paid for a year in advance,” he said, anticipating her objection. “You have plenty of free long distance to use on it every month, nationwide. If you don’t use it for anything else, keep it charged up and with you to call out in emergencies.”
“Yes, you do need that with a baby, Cathy,” Angela assured her.
“A very good idea,” George chimed in.
Cathy sighed, knowing when she was outnumbered. She smiled and said, “Thank you, Dave.”
Finally, Tess went home, pleading she had papers to correct before school the next day and Harry left, saying he had to get back on the road.
Dave wanted to strangle him when Cathy reached up and gave him a hug and kiss, telling him how much she appreciated his taking time to come to Cory’s party. He knew his jealousy was unreasonable, but he couldn’t help it. He loved her and didn’t want her paying attention to anyone else. So, what was he going to do about it?
He made sure he was the last one to leave, determined to have a few minutes alone with Cathy. Holding Cory, he walked with Jody and his parents to the door. He told them goodbye and hung back with Cathy and Cory.
“Cory’s tuckered out, isn’t he?”
“Yes. But I think he enjoyed the party.”
“Everyone did. Can I stay and help you clean up a bit?”
She gave him a quick glance and shook her head, remaining at the door, practically inviting him to leave. “I can handle it. We’ve done most of it, and the rest can wait until morning.”
She barely looked at him as she said it. Clearly, she didn’t want to be alone with him. With a sigh and a last hug of Cory, he handed his son back to Cathy, said goodbye and left.
Driving home alone, he wondered despondently if there was any chance of her ever thawing towards him. He felt as though he were beating his head against a brick wall. He might get bloody, but it wouldn’t get him any other results.
How often would she let him see his son? Would he have to think up excuses for every tiny bit of time to spend with him?
When he got home, he changed into sweats and running shoes and ran until he was exhausted.
