everybody say love
Welcome to the house of Mama Ru, my beautiful child. Here, we will explore the path of the seeker. The one who dares to feel more, to experience more, and to fearlessly love more. Together, we will uncover ancient sacred “realness” that is tried, tested, and found true. I will share everything I’ve learned from the journey thus far; my only wish is that you pass the knowledge along to the next traveler, even if that traveler is me. GuRu is a collection of mantras, sayings, and touchstones that I’ve used throughout this surreal daydream of a life to remind me of who I really am. I am a shapeshifter whose only mission is to experience humanity. It’s as simple as that, but as questions arise, the need to go deeper beckons. I continue to walk through my fears, superstitions, and self-imposed limitations, some with more trepidation than others, but still I keep on walking. Think of GuRu as an additional GPS to be used in support of your own built-in navigation system. How does “drag” factor into all of this? Well, I’m sure you’ve heard me say, “You’re born naked and the rest is drag.” In truth, you are not your clothes, you are not your profession, you are not your religion. You are an extension of the consciousness that guides the universe, for which there is no name because it cannot be defined. That’s why all the superficial things you list as your identity are in reality your “drag.” Years ago, when I heard someone say “we are all God in drag,” I knew it to be the true at my core.
Just know that by stepping through this door, a lot of things you thought to be “real” will be challenged. Basically, prepare for your mind to be blown. Not to worry though, kiddo. This is the new normal for the seeker. Budget in plenty of occasions for the death and rebirth of ideas and concepts.
Drag is the highest form of being, of showing our best selves to the world.
But we have to learn how to love ourselves, and there are a lot of you out there who need some lessons on how to do just that. I say “love yourself” all the time, but knowing how to go about it can be a mystery. Now, listen to me. It’s still an ongoing process for me. The key is to remember to keep yourself up and to keep on walking. Don’t worry about what lies ahead, or if you’re being judged by other people. Use the frequency as your guide.
I’m a living witness to the revelation that once you get rid of all the negativity in your world, everything and everyone that might be blocking you, you will live in the light. Inside of us all is great power, creativity, and beauty. Your saboteurs may have all that same creativity and power, too, and they may trick you into believing that you aren’t worth your value. But when I look out at the world, when I meet my fans, what I see is pure love and gorgeousness. So, what I hope that GuRu will do for you is help you see your own love and gorgeousness, too, and shut out the negativity and naysayers once and for all.
When I was a kid my mother and father divorced, and my father was supposed to come and pick my sisters and me up on the weekends. There we would be, my sisters and I, sitting on that porch waiting for him. And he would not show up. We were the most beautiful kids you’d ever want to see. We really were gorgeous. And all of my time in therapy in the years since then were spent making peace with that moment when my father didn’t appear, when he left us sitting there on that porch waiting for him. Time and time again I have recreated that victimhood in my life, in love, in all kinds of storylines that made me feel the way I felt as an abandoned child. For years, I built my identity around that little boy who was left behind. I didn’t treat myself very kindly, either, because if I was a boy who could be left behind, then why love myself, or honor my body like a temple? I had to learn to let go of that boy so I could start to love.
I like to think of my body as my vehicle, my human machine. At this point, I have put a lot of miles on my vehicle. And sometimes, the wheel likes to turn a little bit to the left when it’s raining. Your body knows when there’s a storm a-brewing, when the vehicle needs a tune-up, and you can take that concept and apply it to every aspect of your life.
When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is stretch, because I’m getting older and this body needs to be stretched. But after that, I get down on my knees and I pray. I pray every single morning. My prayer is very simple, but it is very powerful. It goes like this:
“Dear God [that’s what I say, and you can use whatever you choose], Thank you. I ask that you guide my thoughts, my feelings, and my perceptions. I willingly give you all of my resentments.”
The act of prayer provides the human machine a method for rigging the system. We can’t see ourselves, really, and spiritual practices help us remember that something else is running this whole thing. Prayer, getting down on your knees and deactivating that ego, is acknowledging that there’s a presence greater than myself. It circumvents the whole system and allows for a special intervention between me and something bigger. The ego is completely silent when I am bowing down. After I pray, I meditate. Meditation is like watching a river flowing while you are sitting on the bank. The water is your consciousness. You can watch your thoughts pass by without judgment, allowing your body to become a transmitter, a channeling system. It doesn’t matter how long you do it—two minutes, thirty seconds, twenty minutes—the practice turns your body into a transmitter for a signal that magic can happen.
The acts of meditation and of prayer are the practices that help me reset the machine, shut down the ego, and love myself.
If I had stayed in the mentality of that little boy who was left behind on that porch, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t be doing the things I do, creating the art and living the life I have. I wouldn’t have found the love I have with my husband, Georges, because I would still be so blocked that I would be getting in my own way constantly. We all have angels around us who want to help, but because we have free will they cannot intervene unless we say three little words: “Please help me.” You just have to be brave enough and self-aware enough and love yourself enough to ask. Clear out the blockage that keeps you playing small, keeps you listening to the negative stories in your head, keeps you in the darkness, and move forward into the light. You have the power to move on if you’re willing to let go of the limited perception you have of yourself. You are God’s gift to this world and you are the manifestation of the power that created the whole universe.
The universe always has stage directions for you if you’re open, if you clear a place for it. With GuRu, I challenge each of you to do a diagnostic test on your human machine. Take an objective view and ask, “Where are the places I am stuck?” Use this book as a tool along your journey to discovering that it is no accident that you are here to experience life and humanity, and that is the joy of life. I realized that I didn’t come to this planet in this beautiful body to live this beautiful life to be asleep during the whole process. I have become a seeker, and I know all of you are seekers, too. Find the life you want. Find all that life has to offer. Hopefully, what you find here will inspire you, entertain you, and remind you not to take yourself, or anything for that matter, too seriously. That is what loving yourself is.
Oh, and remember, Mama Ru loves you.