The walk back to the inn was quiet as Lauren tried to anticipate what her sister wanted to discuss with her after so many years of silence and awkward family get-togethers. She had no idea what to expect, but since Ashley had made the attempt to reach out on a day as important as her wedding day, then Lauren knew whatever the conversation, it had to be something very significant.
Or at least she hoped it would be.
But for right now, she kept her focus on Chase, who’d opened up and allowed himself to be vulnerable with her as he shared details of his past, his childhood, and what it meant to him to find Billie. She’d heard the pain in his voice as he spoke, had felt the depth of heartache this proud, normally closed-off man kept so well protected behind a fortress made of steel.
He’d lowered those gates for her, releasing the burden he’d been carrying for years. He let her see the pain that had been the catalyst for keeping everyone but Billie at arm’s length. The fact that he had so much affection for his sister gave Lauren hope that he’d possibly make room in his life for someone else, too.
Whether or not that person was her, she didn’t know. But despite what happened between her and Chase after this weekend, she wanted him to be happy, and to know that he deserved to be loved just as much as anyone else did, despite the dreadful role models he’d had in his life.
Now that they’d reached the inn, they had to part ways for Lauren to meet with her sister, which was the last thing she wanted after their profound moment together at the park. And knowing what time alone could do, possibly make him overthink things and shut her out again, she searched for a way to reassure him that all his secrets were safe with her. And she was humbled by the fact that he’d shared them with her.
Reaching the pathway that led up to the establishment where they were staying, she stopped before they could go inside and turned to face him. His eyes were clear as they met hers, his expression composed but relaxed. There was no trace of the resentment and bitterness he’d displayed earlier while discussing his parents.
She reached for and held both of his hands in hers. “Thank you for sharing everything with me today. You didn’t have to, and I know it was difficult, but I appreciate you trusting me with something so difficult and painful to relive.”
“It felt good to get it out,” he admitted, the smile on his lips making her heart lift optimistically. “It doesn’t change anything that happened, I know, but it made me realize just how long I’ve kept everything bottled up inside.”
That he’d come to that realization on his own was huge, Lauren knew. But she was also aware that time alone, after they parted ways right now, could bring back intrusive thoughts. She had more to say, and instead of waiting until later, she said them now before this intimate moment between them was gone.
“I care about you, Chase,” she said, knowing she was putting her emotions on the line, but she wasn’t one to skirt the truth, even at the risk that he didn’t reciprocate those feelings. “What happened to you… it shouldn’t define the rest of your life, or your chance at happiness. I believe that everyone has choices to make in their lives. That there are crossroads you come to where you can elect to stay on the path you’ve been traveling your entire life and wish things were different, or you can rise above whatever tragedy you’ve endured and completely alter the direction of your future, for the better, and be able to look back on that choice without any regrets.”
He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes searching hers as if he’d find some kind of magical answer for himself there. Then, he canted his head and spoke. “Is that what you did when you found out about your sister and Greg?”
She remembered vividly the two choices she’d been faced with. Let animosity and hatred burn in her heart, or embrace forgiveness, even if that had been extremely difficult to do at the time. She’d chosen the latter, which had enabled her to eventually be happy with her life, even though she’d ended up alone.
“I had to let it go,” she said, wanting him to understand her healing process. “Don’t get me wrong. It was hurtful and painful and it would be so easy to be bitter or spiteful over their deceit, but what good would that do me? If I carried around all that anger, it would never allow me to be happy with someone else.”
He was quiet, a pensive look in his eyes, and Lauren hoped that her words soaked in, that they gave him the strength to make better, more forgiving choices of his own going forward. Selfishly, because she wished they could move forward together, but she also knew that was a lot to expect from a man who’d lived his life so guarded and pessimistic about relationships. She was smart enough to know that one pseudo therapy session wasn’t going to magically transform a mindset that had been conditioned to believe the worst of people for the majority of his life.
“You go ahead and talk to your sister,” he finally said, jutting his chin toward the front door to the inn. “I’m going to take a walk instead of sitting in the room. I’ve got a lot to process.”
“Okay.” She released his hands, hating to let him go when he was so contemplative like this. But she’d done her part, said her piece, and the rest was up to him to apply, or not. “I’ll text you when I’m finished with Ashley.”
He nodded and gave her a warm smile. “Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
They went their separate ways, and Lauren walked into the bed-and-breakfast, preparing herself to face her sister, with no buffers between them. Usually her parents and Gramps were around whenever she’d been in the same room as Ashley since the incident, and they’d awkwardly kept their distance after equally uncomfortable “hellos”.
Betsy was at the counter just off the entryway, and smiled brightly when she saw Lauren. “Your sister stopped by and is out in the garden waiting for you.”
She saw the curiosity in the other woman’s eyes. People in town knew of their strained relationship—though not the truth about what really happened between her, Greg, and her sister—and she was just glad that they didn’t comment on it, because it really wasn’t any of their business.
Exhaling a deep, fortifying breath to face whatever lay ahead, Lauren walked through the back door that led to the inn’s backyard, which was beautifully landscaped with an expansive green lawn, a few different sitting areas and firepit, and an array of seasonal flowers in bloom. A cobblestone pathway led to a white, ornate gazebo, and that’s where Lauren saw her sister, standing beneath the shaded structure.
Lauren walked in that direction and climbed the stairs, noting the way her sister nervously twisted her fingers together and the anxiety in her pretty blue eyes. She also noticed how stunning her sister looked, how her beautiful blonde hair had been curled and secured in an elaborate updo with crystal hair pins, and her makeup was flawless, as if she’d already started the process of getting ready. The only thing Ashley seemed to be missing was her wedding gown.
Ashley didn’t step forward to initiate a hug or any physical contact, and neither did Lauren. But she did tip her head and smile at her sister, trying to ease the tension in the air between them.
“Shouldn’t you be at the church preparing for your pre-wedding photos?” she asked in a light tone. “The ceremony is only a few hours away.”
“Yes, but coming here to speak with you was more important.”
Those words spoke volumes, and wanting to hear what her sister had to say, Lauren indicated toward the wooden bench running along the interior of the gazebo. “Why don’t we sit down?”
Ashley nodded jerkily as Lauren took a seat, then her sister did, too, a good three feet away. She continued to wring the hands that were now in her lap, her gaze bouncing everywhere before landing on Lauren’s face. A full awkward minute of silence stretched between them, but Lauren refused to speak first or make small talk, since she wasn’t the one who’d requested this impromptu meeting.
Her sister swallowed hard before finally speaking. “I don’t even know where to begin, except to say I’m sorry.”
Lauren realized that this apology could encompass many things that had happened between them during their lifetime, and even knowing she wasn’t making things easy on her sister—and really, why should she?—she asked in a nice, but blunt way, “What, exactly, are you sorry for, Ashley?”
“So many things,” she whispered, contrition in her tone as she bowed her head, before glancing up again. “Mostly, for the way things happened between Greg and I, and the way you found out about us.”
Lauren figured that confession was a start, but she remained quiet, giving her sister the time and space to continue without interruption. She wasn’t about to fill the silence with platitudes, or tell Ashley it was okay when Lauren deserved an explanation, and yes, even remorse.
“What we did, what I did, was wrong. I know that,” she said, a believable ache of regret in her voice. “And there is no excuse for the way we handled our attraction and affair, or the fact that we were seeing one another behind your back. Greg should have ended things with you before the two of us started up anything.”
Lauren opened her mouth to agree, but Ashley jumped up from her seat and started pacing the small area inside the gazebo, clearly not done talking and getting things off her chest.
“I know it’s hard to believe, but I didn’t do it to hurt you. And neither did Greg,” she said, glancing at Lauren while walking back and forth. “If I’m being completely honest, I had a crush on Greg while the two of you were dating, and when I started working at the vet’s office, I admittedly began flirting with him. I’m… I’m the one who initiated our first kiss, and things just snowballed and intensified from there.”
Surprise rippled through Lauren. She’d always imagined that Greg had pursued Ashley, so learning the truth was… a shock.
“Greg intended to break things off with you,” Ashley continued in a rush of breath, as if she needed to get everything out in the open. “He told me he felt so guilty, and honestly, I did, too, because… at that point my infatuation with him had developed into love. Unfortunately, you caught us before we did the right thing. That doesn’t negate the fact that we had an affair behind your back, and I’m really, really sorry it happened.”
Lauren’s mind whirled as she tried to process everything Ashley just revealed. “Why didn’t you just tell me all this, and the truth, when it happened? Instead of letting everything fester between us for the past two years?”
“Because… I felt incredibly guilty,” Ashley replied, and tears of genuine regret shimmered in her eyes. “I did everything wrong, and I didn’t know how to handle things or fix it. And the longer time went by, the harder it was to reach out and have the discussion.”
“So, why now?” Lauren asked, needing to know.
Ashley bit her bottom lip before responding. “Because I need to know that you forgive me, and that you’re okay with me marrying Greg. I know that’s a lot to ask, and it’s probably incredibly selfish of me to want your approval, but you’re my sister and I do love you and I never intended to deliberately hurt you. You’re my only sibling and you should have been a part of my wedding and I royally screwed it all up!”
Without thinking, out of pure emotional instinct, Lauren popped up from her seat and closed the distance between her and Ashley. For the first time in years, she hugged her sister, and Ashley embraced her back, holding her tight.
“Of course I forgive you,” she whispered.
“Thank you,” Ashley said, and as they drew apart a tear escaped the corner of her eye.
She quickly pulled a tissue from the pocket in the dress she wore and dabbed at the moisture before any more could fall and ruin her makeup. “Crap,” she said on a sniffly laugh. “I knew this was going to happen.”
Lauren chuckled, too, before turning serious once again. “Everyone makes mistakes. None of us are perfect, and all I truly want is for you to be happy,” she said, and meant it. “And if Greg is the one who makes that happen, then that’s all that matters.”
“He does,” Ashley said, and the way her eyes lit up told Lauren just how much her sister did love Greg. “He really, really does.”
Ashley gently wiped at her nose so she didn’t smear her foundation, a small frown pulling between her perfectly plucked brows as she met Lauren’s gaze. “There’s… more, since I’m being honest with you,” she said, her tone a bit hesitant.
Lauren wasn’t expecting more in terms of another confession from Ashley, and she braced herself for whatever was about to come next. “Okay.”
“Growing up… I know we were never close, and that was my fault, too,” she began, a pained look in her eyes. “I’ve never told anyone this before, but I was always so jealous of you.”
Lauren felt her jaw drop open, and had to snap it shut as she digested her sister’s unexpected, and startling, announcement. “Jealous of me? Why?”
Ashley winced in embarrassment. “Because everything came so easily to you. Fishing and riding horses and playing softball, and anything else you did. You were so talented and smart and self-assured. I’d hear that from the kids in school and the people in town when they talked about you. In comparison, I was uncoordinated and awkward and just… pretty.”
Lauren’s eyes widened and she covered her mouth but was unable to catch the burst of laughter before it escaped her.
“What’s so funny?” her sister asked, almost indignantly.
Lowering her hand back down to her side, she gave her sister a compassionate smile. “Ashley… pretty is not a bad thing to be. There were times, growing up, that I envied how pretty you were, and hated how much of a tomboy I was.”
It was Ashley’s turned to look shocked. “Why? Your beauty is understated. And you’re so confident,” she said, complimenting Lauren in a way she never had before. “You’ve never cared about other people’s opinions. And I cared too much about what people thought of me. So, since I couldn’t do those things that you excelled at, when a friend’s mother said I should be in beauty pageants, that’s what I did. I wanted to show you and Mom and Dad that I was good at something, too, even if it was something that was superficial and frivolous.”
Oh, wow. Lauren stared at her sister, seeing her in a whole different light. Finally seeing all the insecurities and vulnerabilities Ashley had lived with, that Lauren never knew existed.
Reaching out, she grabbed Ashley’s hands and gave them an affectionate squeeze. “I think we just need to accept and love each other for who we are. No expectations. No comparisons.”
Ashley nodded, and smiled, her expression filled with relief. “I agree. See, you’re so smart.”
Lauren shrugged, then grinned. “Sometimes I am,” she said, lightening the moment.
A jingling sound rent the air, and Ashley reached into the same pocket as she’d gotten a tissue from earlier and withdrew her cellphone. She checked the text message and a flash of panic passed over her features.
“That’s Maggie, my bridesmaid,” she said, her eyes wide. “I didn’t mean to be here so long and she’s letting me know that the photographers will be at the church in half an hour. I need to go so I can finish getting ready.”
“Yes, you do,” Lauren agreed. “Come on, I’ll walk you out front.”
They headed out of the gazebo and followed another pathway to a side gate that led around the house, instead of going through the inn. When they reached the street, Ashley stopped beside a light blue sedan parked by the curb.
“Thank you,” her sister said again, the words and her tone heartfelt. “For forgiving me for how stupid and selfish I was, and for hurting you. Having you in my life is so important to me because not only do I want my sister back, but someday I’m going to have kids and they are going to need their aunt to spoil them rotten.”
Lauren grinned, loving the idea of being an aunt, and being a part of Ashley’s life again. “You can count on that.”
Ashley took a step toward her car, then stopped, casting Lauren a curious look. “So, Mom said the date you brought for the weekend, Chase, is a very nice man.”
Lauren nodded. “He is.”
Her sister’s gaze searched Lauren’s face. “Are you… happy?”
She knew Ashley was insinuating her being happy with Chase, which made Ashley’s question difficult to answer. In this moment, this weekend, she was very hopeful when it came to Chase, but there was no telling what the future would bring, if anything.
So, she replied with a more generic, and truthful, version. “I’m happy with my life, yes.”
“I’m so glad,” Ashley said softly, genuinely. “You deserve to find someone special.”
As her sister got into her car and drove away, Lauren had the thought that she wanted that with Chase. So much. But whatever happened after this weekend was ultimately up to him, and she wasn’t sure that he was ready or willing to take a leap of faith with her.
But at least they had this one last night together, and she intended to make the most of it. To show Chase just how good they could be together, if he’d just open himself up to the possibility.
The rest would be up to him.