2

 

I awoke before the alarm clock sounded, rolled over, clicked the switch to turn it off, and slipped out of bed trying not to wake Griffey. The church finance committee had met until quite late. He deserved to snooze a little longer.

My exercise clothes hung in their usual place over the bathroom towel rack. I slipped into them, anxious to begin my walk, still hoping to run into Conrad again. A beautiful sunrise greeted me over the housetop across the street, but I was immediately glad I’d grabbed my sweatshirt on my way out. The air was a bit more crisp this morning than it had been yesterday. I breathed in deeply through my nose, feeling the coolness refresh me, skipped down the steps, and began to walk at a steady clip. Everything about the morning seemed to fuel my energy.

Tuesdays are my day off from work, so I planned to surprise Griffey and Elianna with a big breakfast before they headed to the church and college.

My gaze was drawn to an older gentleman raking leaves from around his sidewalk. His work was slow-going, and he seemed quite out of breath. He looked as though he could use some help, but I was sure I’d only be in his way and in his business if I stopped. Besides, how could I approach him? I wouldn’t want to insult him in any way. I picked up the pace and sped on by.

“Enjoying the morning?”

The voice startled me at first.

“Conrad, I was hoping to run into you again.”

“Really?” He smiled with a most pleasant expression.

“Yes, I just had to tell you after our discussion yesterday, I had such a wonderful day. I recognized God’s blessings all around me.”

“That’s great. Now you just have to learn to share it with others.”

I stopped and looked to him in desperation. “Conrad, I’m not good at sharing with others. I don’t know what to say.”

His eyes softened. “Speak the truth. Encourage others. So many need to hear both.”

“I’ll try.” I diverted my gaze from his because I lacked confidence.

“I know you will.” His words soothed.

I glanced back at him, studying his face. “You seem so familiar. Have we met before?”

“Maybe.” He started to walk again. I fell into step.

“What do you do? Maybe that’s where I’ve seen you.”

“I’m a messenger.”

“For a business? A lawyer? A banker?”

“Someone of supreme importance.”

“I only wondered …”

“Fear not. I’m friend not foe.”

“Why don’t you join us for breakfast?”

“No, thank you. You go share some time with your husband and daughter—two of your dearest blessings. Remember—be bold. Use your gift of encouragement when God gives you something to reveal.” He grinned and winked, then, continued to stroll down the street.

“All right, maybe some other time,” I said to his back.

He raised his hand and gave a small wave never turning around.

I entered the house and stopped in the threshold. Had I told Conrad about Griffey and Elianna? I must have. How else would he have known? And what did he mean about encouraging when God gives something to reveal?

It was amazing how close I felt to a man I’d known only the amount of two short walks. Conrad exhibited admirable fatherly qualities. He was gentle yet authoritative. Nothing at all like my own father.

After my shower, I set to work on that big breakfast. Halfway through mixing the pancake batter, I heard the faint sound of an alarm clock at the other end of the house. It was several seconds before the buzzing stopped—Elianna’s alarm. She and I have much in common—but not our approach to mornings. Elianna requires more time to wake up and get motivated. She must have smelled the food because she stumbled into the kitchen and plopped into her normal seat. She planted her elbows on the table and propped her head up.

“Well, good morning, sunshine!”

She hooked me with a stare, and, shaking her head, dramatically rolled her eyes.

I set a plate stacked with pancakes in front of her and turned to retrieve the bacon waiting in the microwave then placed it on the table.

Suddenly, I saw Elianna standing in front of a bulletin board. Her facial expression was one of puzzlement. Immediately the scene switched as if I’d changed the channel on the television. In the background stood a small hut with rough wooden walls and a roof of large leaves. In the foreground scantly-clothed children stood in red dust and in their midst sat Elianna. Giggles melodically rang from each child. Elianna’s face exuded pure joy as she laughed along with them. I hadn’t seen her look that contented in months.

My daughter had been struggling with exactly what God wanted her to do with her life. The three of us have always been close and been able to talk about anything. I’m relieved Griffey and I have that kind of relationship with our daughter. However, recently, I found it difficult to watch as Elianna experienced this struggle to find God’s will.

“Mom, Mom!”

Elianna’s voice called to me as if she was far off in the distance. Then I saw the table and Elianna sitting there preparing her breakfast plate.

“Mom?”

I shook my head slightly in an attempt to clear it. “Sorry. What did you say?”

“Are you all right?” Her eyes widened.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Just thinking.”

Griffey entered, rubbing sleep from his eyes. I snatched a cup from the cabinet, poured steaming coffee into it, and handed it to him. He wrapped both hands around the mug and ran it under his nose. He closed his eyes and breathed in the aroma. A grin broke out on his face. He took one quick sip.

“Thanks, I needed that.”

As he sat down, I shook my head and couldn’t keep from chuckling. I turned back to my griddle to start more pancakes.

“Mom, Dad, yesterday I was looking at the bulletin board in the student center.”

When she mentioned the bulletin board, I jerked my head around. Thankfully no one noticed my quick reaction. I didn’t know how I would explain my surprise. Just seconds ago I had somehow seen Elianna looking at a bulletin board. My arms erupted with goose bumps, and I folded them, trying to control the overwhelming feeling.

“There’s a mission trip to West Africa over Thanksgiving holidays, but I don’t know...”

“You need to go!”

Elianna and Griffey turned to me both looking quite shocked at my hasty and enthusiastic reply.

West Africa must have been the setting for the second part of my vision. I suddenly heard Conrad’s words pushing me to speak the truth. To encourage. I felt my heart pick up speed inside my chest. I began to tap the spatula lightly into the palm of my hand. Before adding any explanation, I tried to calm myself.

“I just think this might be the very thing you’ve been looking for. I believe God will bless you with not only a great experience but also with a clue as to His direction for your life.”

My husband and daughter stared at me for several moments with expressions of confusion and disbelief. I couldn’t blame them for reacting that way. I’m normally not one to be assertive in any way, especially in speaking out.

Griffey began to discuss details with Elianna, but his words were drowned out by the thoughts in my head. I turned back to my pancake preparation to cover my distraction. How had I known about the bulletin board and West Africa before Elianna had told me? Had she mentioned it to me? Maybe she had. But, my vision or dream or imagination had been so real. In addition to the vision, Conrad’s voice encouraged me to speak the truth and encourage. Thinking back, I remembered the question he had posed to me. “If you knew the blessings someone could receive, would you tell them?”

It gave me a strange feeling to connect my conversation with Conrad with this vision experience. It had to be coincidence that this had occurred—except, I don’t believe in coincidence. At least not normally. Conrad had also told me to be bold in encouraging when God revealed. Were those scenes some kind of revelation? Could God have actually used me to encourage Elianna to follow His will? If He had, I was honored to be used to help, but not at all comfortable with it.

I fumbled through the rest of breakfast. By the time Griffey and Elianna left for work and school, it was decided that Elianna would go on the mission trip. The affirmative decision seemed to calm my spirit.

I needed to talk to someone and had already planned to have lunch with Emily. She would listen to my story no matter how crazy it may sound. We’d always been able to talk about anything, especially over Chinese take-out. I picked up the phone and punched in the number.

“Hey, Em, so are we still on? Your usual?”

“Yes, that’s great! Pick up a sweet and sour chicken for Kevin. He’s working on his research paper. Will you be here at noon?”

“Yeah. I need some ‘chick time.’”

“I’m with you. See ya then.”

I rinsed the breakfast dishes and stacked them into the dishwasher then hustled back to the bedroom to straighten up and make the bed, but when I turned the corner and peered into the bedroom, the bed was already neatly made. Even the decorative pillows that Griffey often makes fun of were in place. I sighed and smiled to myself.

An hour remained before I needed to order our food and head to Emily’s house. Not enough time for laundry, but the perfect amount of time to do some Bible study. I needed to review my workbook for my Thursday evening women’s Bible study, but I just couldn’t focus. So, I opted for looking up visions and blessings in my Bible dictionary. From the entry for visions it was apparent that before Christ, visions were God’s means of communicating His will for His people. In the Old Testament were examples of both one-time revelations to individuals, as well as prophets whose whole message was received through visions. And, even now, we have the Holy Spirit to aid us in discerning the Scriptures in light of its relevance for our own lives. I meditated on these thoughts in light of my experience.

As I studied I began to ponder. Are we in the Word enough to receive His revelation? Does the Holy Spirit even have an arena in which to work? How will any of us ever discern His will for us if we give Him no avenue? Consequently, if Conrad was right in saying we miss out on blessings, then it is the fault of our own unwillingness and disobedience to discern His will. I concluded that we can miss out on a blessing God intends for us by either not being in His Word or ignoring the directive we receive.

I tried to specifically apply this to Elianna. From what she said to her father and me, she had doubt. I wondered if she had received the word to go on the mission trip but was resistant to obey. Maybe that was why I had that “vision.” It was for the purpose of encouraging her to go ahead despite fears and doubts.

The vision gave me an eerie yet soothing feeling all at the same time.

I glanced up at the wall clock. Oops! Eleven thirty-five! I sprinted to the kitchen, picking up the phone on the way. I placed the lunch order.

Minutes later I pulled into Emily’s driveway with our Chinese feast. As I mounted the porch and pressed the doorbell, I still wondered how I would tell Emily about my vision. Where would I start?

“Hey! Get in here. It’s a little chilly.” Emily gave me a quick embrace. “Here, let me have that. Mmm, smells good.” She took the bag, and I followed her into the kitchen and sat on one of the stools at the counter.

Emily already had plates, silverware, napkins, and glasses set out. That would be expected. She’s always had the gift of hospitality. She unloaded the small white boxes with their wire handles. I watched as Emily prepared Kevin’s plate contemplating how to broach the subject of my visions.

“Be back in a minute.”

I opened my box of rice and spread it across my plate. I dotted it with breaded chicken and doused it with sweet and sour sauce. Emily came back around the corner.

“Let’s pray before it gets cold,” she said as she noticed my plate.

After the prayer, I dove right in.

“I never get tired of sweet and sour. How’s Kevin? Are you working him hard?” I said after a couple of bites.

“I don’t have to work him hard; he’s hard enough on himself. He was certainly happy you came bearing Chinese. He thinks he just might be motivated enough to finish his research paper.”

“Good! I’m glad I could help. I definitely couldn’t help him with the paper.”

Emily’s face changed from a smile to a brow wrinkled with what looked like distress. She pushed food around on her plate.

“Emily, what’s wrong?”

“You know me too well.”

I smiled.

“Kevin will be a senior next year.” She bit her lip. “I just wonder if I’m doing the right thing homeschooling all the way through high school.”

“What? You’ve always known that this is what God wanted. Why are you doubting now?”

“Well, you know George at church?”

“The greeter?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“What about him?”

“He asked me the other day if I was sending Kevin to public school at least one year. Then he proceeded to tell me that Kevin needed a taste of the real world.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. And then you know there are several women who feel I should go back to work and not depend on John to do everything.”

“Emily, this was not just your decision. John has always agreed wholeheartedly.”

“I know. I just...” She speared some shrimp and chewed slowly.

“Emily, don’t let these people make you doubt.”

“If I could just know that what I’m doing is making a difference and it’s right.”

I looked back down at my plate and instantly saw Kevin standing behind a pulpit. He looked handsome and quite authoritative in a dark suit and red tie.

“I stand here today surrendering to the ministry. I know that God wants me to become a pastor. I want to publicly thank my mother for sacrificing a career to make sure I had a Christian education and foundation. Just as the verse in the Bible says—her children will rise up and call her blessed. I have been immensely blessed!”

“Addy?”

Again I felt as though someone was calling me from far away. Then my eyes focused again on my plate. I looked up into Emily’s worried eyes.

“It happened again.” My hands began to shake. As I put my fork down it made a loud bang against the plate.

“What?”

“Please don’t think I’m crazy. I’ve been trying to decide how to discuss this with you.”

“Addy, you’re scaring me.”

I reached my hand across and patted her arm.

“I had a vision—for lack of a term to call it. I had one at home yesterday about Elianna, and I just had another one about Kevin.”

“A vision?”

“I saw Kevin standing behind a pulpit …”

Emily gasped and tears filled her eyes. “And?”

“And he announced he wanted to become a pastor. He was praising you for sacrificing so he could have a Christian education.”

Emily grabbed both of my hands. She was visibly trying to control her emotion. “Addy, Kevin sat his father and me down last night to inform us he feels called to become a pastor. We suggested he call Griffey.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “That must be why I knew. I must have overheard something subconsciously when Kevin called.”

Emily shook her head slowly. “He hasn’t called yet.”

I covered my face with my hands and shook my head back and forth.

“You said something about Elianna.”

I uncovered my face and laid out the whole story. I told her about the conversations with Conrad, my day of recognizing my blessings, and the vision I had about Elianna. I even told her about my earlier Bible study about visions.

“Wow.” Emily’s voice was low.

“Yeah, wow. Am I going completely crazy?”

“Have you talked to Griffey about this?”

“No, until just a few minutes ago I thought maybe it was a one-time thing.”

I was wringing my hands in an attempt to stop them shaking. Emily placed her hands over mine and held them gently still.

“Addy, there is some reason God has given you this gift.”

“Gift? It doesn’t feel like a gift.” I stood and paced a short line behind my stool.

“Maybe you just haven’t recognized it as such.”

“Emily, why me? I don’t speak well and …”

She started to snicker. I stopped and balled my fists at my sides.

“Why are you laughing? This isn’t funny.”

“Sorry, you sound like Moses.”

I couldn’t help joining her in a laugh at my expense.

“Seriously, Addy, if God gives you truth, just speak it.”

She was right. I just didn’t understand why God would choose me. Emily would have definitely been a better choice. She is perfect—super mom. She homeschools, keeps an immaculate house, cooks meals close to gourmet. She has a gift for teaching and speaking.

As I drove back toward my house, I talked to God aloud. I’m sure those I passed who noticed my mouth moving wondered who I was talking to. However, this conversation was long overdue.

“Lord, I don’t know why You would choose me to see these visions. But, if I can be an encouragement to others and help them obtain Your blessings, then use me. You know me. Be near and help me to do what You want. Give me the words. Give me the courage. I’m really not that great at speaking. You know that. Your choosing me is baffling. I mean, Emily or Griffey are better at speaking to others …”

I pressed the garage door opener. As I drove inside I noticed Griffey’s car was already parked on the other side. Hoping he hadn’t come home because of sickness, I hurried up the basement stairs, opened the door at the top, and spotted Griffey in his recliner, television on yet his eyes closed.

“Are you all right?” I walked over to him.

His eyes blinked open. “Yeah. I just decided to leave a little early since I’ve been out late for several nights.” He aimed the remote to cut off the TV.

“Good for you!”

“How was Chinese?”

“Great as always. I think you’ll be hearing from Kevin soon.”

“Oh?” He looked at me. His brow wrinkled.

“Yep. Emily told me today that he feels called into the ministry.” I stepped around his footrest and plopped onto the couch.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

I paused for a moment. Maybe this was the best time to tell him about my vision experiences since it was just the two of us.

“Honey … I was talking to Emily today about an experience I had … I wonder if you’ve had anything similar …”

“Addy, spit it out.”

I proceeded to do just that. I went through every detail including my Bible study, talk with Emily, and my prayer on the way home. Griffey listened intently, never taking his eyes from mine. When I finished, I let out a heavy sigh. There was a moment of silence before he spoke.

“Whoa.”

“That’s it? Whoa?”

“Sorry, hon, initial reaction.” He shrugged his shoulders and gave a sheepish grin. “I’m not sure what to say.”

“You’re the minister …” I stopped, knowing my line of thinking at that moment wasn’t fair.

“Yes, yes I am.” His tone was smooth, maybe even a bit sarcastic. I suppose I might have deserved that. He often tells me how frustrating it is when people think he should know everything because “pastor” appears before his name.

“Sorry.” I lowered my eyes.

He pushed the chair’s footrest down and reached for me. He pulled me onto his lap.

“Look, Addy, I don’t know why this is happening, but God does. You keep praying, and I will too. Deal?”

“Deal.”

His answer seemed like a cop out, but what was there to say? I grinned. Then he did what he is famous for doing. He started tickling me. I laughed and yelped trying to get away because there is not a place on my body that is not sensitive to tickling. When I was finally able to push away from him, I noticed Elianna standing in the threshold between the living room and dining room. She had one hand propped on her hip and the other was pantomiming a gagging motion in her mouth.

“Aren’t you two a little old for that?”

“Nope!” Griffey said.

He jumped up and grabbed me around the waist with one arm and Elianna with the other. He dragged us to the couch pushing us down. Then the torture began again. He tickled us until we all cried with laughter. Elianna and I finally worked together to fight him off.

“Ya know, Dad, it’s not fair that you’re not ticklish.”

“Well, it’s because I trust you two. Obviously, you don’t trust me or you wouldn’t be ticklish.”

Elianna rolled her eyes. “Oh, Dad.”

For some reason that had always been his argument: if you truly trust a person then you won’t be ticklish. You couldn’t sway his opinion. It was his own little philosophy, and he would argue it for the sole purpose of irritating. We joked there needed to be a spiritual gift added just for Griffey—pest.