chapter 21

The next morning clouds scudded across the sky, propelled by a strong westerly wind. The temperature had dropped and Nicole felt it was a day for exploring the towers. Hélène hunted out the keys, explaining that ‘the stairs are a bit iffy so do take care.’

As she entered the right hand tower the cool, musty air enveloped her in darkness. Hastening to find the light switch, she was rewarded by a pale glow from the single bulb lighting the stairs. The wooden steps creaked as she made her way gingerly up to the next floor. A door opened onto a large and empty room. Disappointed, Nicole stepped over to the nearest window and wiped away the grime with the threadbare curtain. She caught her breath at the view towards Pleinmont, able to make out a patchwork of fields, the gun emplacement she’d recently found and what looked like a tall TV receiver station. Beyond lay a concrete tower and the sea. The clouds hid the horizon, the sea and sky seeming to blend into a grey mass. The next window offered a bird’s-eye view of the west coast and the hinterland dotted with cottages, churches and what looked like pubs or hotels. The last window overlooked the garden and the area beyond. Without the sun the colours of the plants and flowers appeared bleached.

Nicole crossed the landing to the other tower. Arriving in a room identical to the first, she was pleased to see stacks of boxes, old trunks and the usual ephemera associated with attics. The windows yielded similar views on two sides to the sister tower and the third showed the area towards the airport and St Martins.

Looking around at the dust-covered objects, Nicole felt a strong desire to start searching through them. But for what? She didn’t know, just wanted to see what emerged from the family’s stored treasures. Photo albums? Children’s toys? Old letters? She sighed, knowing she had no right to pry without their approval.

Downstairs again, Nicole found Hélène in the kitchen, drinking coffee and flicking through a magazine.

‘What do you think of our towers? Any Rapunzels waiting to be rescued?’ Hélène chuckled.

Laughing, Nicole replied, ‘No, that would be too much to expect. The views aren’t bad, though. Better on a sunny day, I guess. I wondered if there’d be any photo albums up there I could see?’

‘I’ve no idea. Haven’t been up there for years. I don’t remember seeing any since I was a child. I’ll ask Mother. You want to see what we looked like in our youth? To see if there’s any resemblance? I might have some photos in my room. I only brought a few of my belongings with me when I moved in. The rest is in the attic of my own house. Not knowing how long…’

Nicole made herself a coffee and sat down.

‘Do you think Grandmother would let me browse through the stuff in the tower?’

Hélène frowned. ‘I’m not sure. I once asked her if she’d like me to sort through it and throw away any rubbish and she became agitated and said no. I wasn’t sorry as it may have raked up old memories. It’ll need doing some day,’ she sighed.

For a moment they were both lost in thought, aware of the significance of “some day”.

‘Forgive me, but there are times when you seem, well, not so close to your mother. And then other times…’

Hélène shrugged. ‘I know. She drives me crazy with her stubbornness and she was never a very loving mother, but, deep down, I do love her.’

‘I’m sure she loves you too,’ Nicole replied, reaching out for her hand.

Hélène sniffed and dug out a tissue from her pocket, blowing her nose.

‘Mother’s not too good today. Said she’d stay in bed. The doctor’s round later so we’ll see what he thinks. I really wish she’d have that operation.’

‘What operation?’

Hélène explained about the valve replacement surgery that Ben had recommended and Eve had refused.

‘She’s frightened that if she goes into hospital, she won’t come out. Like my father.’ The tears flowed more quickly now and Nicole felt helpless, giving Hélène’s arm a quick squeeze. Hélène blew her nose again and straightened her shoulders. ‘Sorry, Nicole. I don’t know what came over me. I’m not usually that emotional. I think I’m on a roller-coaster these days. What with meeting you and…then Adrian.’

Nicole frowned. ‘Yes, what…are you going to do about him? Are you still angry with him?’

‘I don’t know. Seeing him did bring up a lot of stuff for me, but he did seem very sincere. He…he does seem to care about me.’ Hélène chewed her lip, seeming to drift off some-place else.

‘I’m sure he does. But he’ll find it difficult to say much if he thinks you’re still angry with him.’

‘I suppose so. By the way, are you seeing him again?’

‘Yes. He’s fulfilled his side of the bargain by apologising to you.’ She sipped her drink. ‘Even if you two can’t be close again I’d like to get to know him.’

‘Good.’ Hélène stood up and rinsed her mug in the sink before asking Nicole what her plans were for the day.

‘I thought I’d pop into Town this morning. Browse the shops and have some lunch. I’ll be back by mid-afternoon.’ No way was she going to miss Ben’s visit to Eve.

‘Okay, I’ll look out some photos for you. Enjoy yourself.’

 

Nicole loved browsing the local shops and boutiques in St Peter Port but couldn’t help comparing the choice with that found in St Helier. Being a bigger town, St Helier boasted several department stores as well as the local shops, but she liked the compact, if hilly, nature of St Peter Port, or Town as the locals called it. After an enjoyable lunch of Moules Mariniere, one of her favourite dishes, Nicole popped into the tourist information office for brochures and maps. It felt odd to be acting the tourist when her family were real “Guerns”, but she wanted to learn more about her origins. Although the islands shared a similar history, from Neolithic man to the German Occupation and beyond, leaving dolmens and Occupation museums scattered on both islands, she assumed there’d be some differences.

 

Nicole was telling Hélène how she’d spent her time in Town when the doorbell rang.

‘I’ll go,’ she cried, getting up from the kitchen table before her mother could reply.

‘Hi, Ben.’

‘Hi.’ They stood smiling at each other for a moment, Ben remaining on the doorstep. Nicole finally ushered him in, saying that Eve was in bed.

He frowned. ‘Sorry to hear that. I’d better go straight through.’

Hélène appeared and spoke quietly to Ben for a moment before escorting him to Eve’s bedroom. Nicole returned to the kitchen to prepare the tea. Hélène followed her and picking up a box from the worktop, said, ‘I found a few photos. They’re mainly ones I took after I’d left home. I think all the older ones must be in the tower.’

She sorted the photos into chronological order and spread them out on the table.

‘That’s us at my graduation in Southampton. A very happy day,’ she smiled. ‘And would you believe it, but it was the first time my father had travelled to England! Not unusual in those days but seems odd now.’

Nicole studied the photo. ‘I can see the resemblance between you and Eve.’ She peered at the man proudly linking arms with Hélène and Eve. Her grandfather. Dark hair, cut short, atop a weathered, but friendly looking face. Twinkly blue eyes smiled back at her. ‘Mm, I can’t see anything of your father in you.’ She added, glancing between the photo and her mother.

‘No, it was always agreed that I favoured Mother. As you can see, she was still very attractive in her forties. Must have been a bit of a stunner as a young woman!’ She smiled.

‘But you were lovely too, Hélène. And that mini-dress shows off your great legs!’

Hélène laughed. ‘My parents were horrified that I could wear such a short dress to my graduation, but most of the girls were dressed like that. It was the fashion. But Mum and Dad were behind the times in rural Guernsey.’

‘I can see how alike we are too,’ Nicole said, looking hard at the smiling young woman in the purple mini-dress.

‘Yes, but you have your father’s mouth and chin.’

Hélène started explaining when and where the other photos were taken and they were so absorbed that they didn’t hear Ben’s entry.

‘Family photos, eh?’

They turned round. Nicole felt the heat rise in her face as Ben came to stand by her, picking up some photos.

‘Yes, Hélène’s dug them out so we can look for family resemblances.’

He nodded, continuing to gaze at the pictures.

‘How’s my mother?’

Ben looked up. ‘No worse. Just tired. I think she’ll be well enough to get up tomorrow, but until she shakes off that infection she’ll continue to get bad days like this.’ He grinned. ‘She’s now sitting up in bed and asking for tea and cake.’

Hélène made up a tray for herself and Eve, leaving the others in the kitchen.

‘I’ll be mother, shall I?’ Nicole said, reaching for the teapot.

‘Thanks. Mm, Nicole, I hope I’m not being out of line, but would you like to go for a drink sometime? I understand that you and your husband are – ’

‘Separated, yes. And probably getting divorced,’ she answered, looking down at her cup. Is this a date? Or what? I know I fancy him but he’s been a bit cool. So what’s he want…? Conflicting emotions raced through her and Ben must have mis-read her hesitation as he said, ‘Look, if you don’t want to – ’

‘No. It’s…it’s fine. I’d love to go out for a drink. I was just taken by surprise.’

‘Yeh, well I don’t usually ask girls out for a drink when I’ve just met them,’ he grinned. ‘But I thought you might be glad of a break from your…family.’

‘Oh, that’s kind of you. Thanks.’ Feeling a bit deflated that he was only giving her “a break from her family” she managed a small smile. It’s a chance to spend time with him. Get to know him better. And let’s face it, I am still married so…

‘I believe you don’t know how long you’re staying?’

‘No, long enough to get to know everyone better, I guess. I’m growing quite fond of Hélène and Eve. And I’d like to get to know my father too.’ And you, she thought, gazing into the grey eyes framed by eyelashes too thick for a man. And that smile!

‘Your father? He’s here?’

Nicole explained about Adrian without revealing his full name. Too soon to let all the skeletons out of the cupboard!

Ben placed his hand lightly on her arm. ‘You’re having quite an adventure of discovery, aren’t you?’

Nicole nodded. ‘Yep, sure am. So, where and when?’

‘How about tomorrow night? I could pick you up about 7.30 and we’ll drive to the west coast. A great place to catch the sunset later.’

‘Sounds good. I…look forward to it.’

Just then Hélène returned and Nicole explained that Ben was taking her out for a drink.

‘That’s nice. Nicole needs to meet people her own age. She spends too much time cooped up with us oldies.’ She smiled at them both as she took her tray to the sink.

Ben rose. ‘Right, I’d better be off. More patients to see. Thanks for the tea, Nicole.’ Turning to Hélène he added, ‘I’ll pop in tomorrow just to make sure that Mrs Ferbrache’s better.’

Nicole escorted him to the door and as they said goodbye, he leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek. A friend’s kiss. But it felt good and her eyes followed the departing Ben as he drove out of sight. As she finally shut the door her mobile beeped, signalling a new message. She opened it and her heart, so buoyant a moment ago, sank. Tom.

“As am not allowed to ring, can I please write? Too important to send an email. Not know your current address so please text me. Thanks Tomx”

Nicole groaned. He doesn’t give up, does he? As she replied with La Folie’s address she wondered what on earth could be so important. Consoling herself that at least a letter was less invasive than a phone call, she headed back to the kitchen.