sakura
“Ichika!” I shouted, banging on her front door. “Please, let me in!”
All the lights were off in her house, but her car was parked out front, so she had to be home. I couldn’t head back to my house with Dad. Not covered in blood like this. I was an emotional wreck right now.
“Ichika, please!” I sobbed. “Open up!”
A light turned on in the back room, and I sniffled, shoulders heaving.
God, what is going on? I still couldn’t believe … I couldn’t even force myself to believe that I had just witnessed Callan kill someone.
When the front door opened, Ichika pulled a plush pink robe together and yawned. “Sakura, what are you doing here so late? I have a—oh my God!” She stared at me through wide eyes, pulled me into the house, and slammed the door shut. “What happened to you?! Why are you covered in blood?” She ran toward the kitchen counter, reaching for her keys. “We have to get you to the hospital!”
With tears pouring down my cheeks, I thrust myself into her arms and cried my heart out. “How could he?!” I cried, my words incoherent as I snotted and sobbed, unable to even think straight anymore. “He-he—”
I grasped on to Ichika’s elbows to hold myself up because my knees wobbled. My entire body felt so weak, and I felt like … like I needed to—
I pushed myself away from my cousin and found the closest trash bin, puking up my dinner into it.
Ichika hurried over and held my hair back, wrapping it up into a ponytail. Bile continued to rise in my throat, and I forced myself to throw the rest up. When I finally came up for air, I wiped the tears from my cheeks. My stomach gargled again, and I clutched it.
“We need to get you to the hospital,” she said.
“Th-this isn’t my blood,” I said, stopping her.
“Not your blood?! What the hell happened to you?”
I so desperately wanted to tell Ichika what had happened with Callan, but I couldn’t … I couldn’t betray him like that. I hated him for what he had done, but I couldn’t see him in jail. Nor did I want the mob to find out and kill him.
If Gunther died … if he fucking died …
Another sob escaped my lips, and I toppled over onto my hands and knees. Tears poured from my eyes. How could I want him to live? Gunther had still been alive when Callan told me to leave. Still alive! And he had stopped me from bringing him to the hospital. It wasn’t fair. How could Callan be so cruel? Sure, I had been afraid of Gunther because of the recent killing and he had been stalking me. But death?!
Shooting him right in front of me?!
“Why are you covered in blood?” Ichika asked on her knees, grasping my shoulders.
Sniffling, I stared at her through tear-filled eyes and shook my head. I opened my mouth to lie, but I couldn’t get out anything. My words were caught in my throat, stuck there, never to move.
“Sakura, please,” Ichika pleaded. “Talk to me. You’re scaring me.”
“I-I can’t tell you,” I stuttered, shaking my head. “I can’t.”
“Does it have to do with Mr. Avery?”
I tried to hold myself together, but when I thought about him, I burst into tears. Again, I wrapped my arms around her body and pulled myself closer to her. I buried my face into her chest and sobbed.
Ichika wrapped her arms around me and held me close, gently stroking my hair. She rocked me back and forth, not saying a word. I cried into her shirt. I had just watched someone die. Die! Right at my feet.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Ichika said, picking me up and pulling me into the bathroom.
When I collapsed onto the toilet, she peeled off my shirt and ran a warm bath. After tossing my stained shirt into the trash, she walked back over to me and dipped a rag into the water, then cleaned the large splotches of blood off me so I wouldn’t bathe in as much.
Once she finished wiping, she undid my bra and pulled off my skirt. Usually, I didn’t like being naked in front of many people, but I didn’t mind Ichika seeing me like this. She saw tons of naked women for her job, and she was my closest cousin. Besides, I was far too gone to think straight anymore.
After I climbed into the tub, the water turned a light pink.
I leaned against the edge, pulled my knees to my chest, and sobbed. “What am I going to do?” I cried into my hands. “I can’t believe he did that.”
“It’s going to be okay,” Ichika whispered, shampooing my hair. “Calm down.”
“N-no, it’s not. It’s not going to be okay.”
Massaging the shampoo into my scalp, Ichika frowned. “I’m sure he had a reason for doing whatever he did, but I … the blood … I can’t picture him doing whatever he did for nothing.”
Through stinging eyes, I stared at the porcelain pink wall tiles and shook my head. This was my fault. I had told Callan that Gunther terrified me, that he had waited for me after school, and then … at Walmart, the way he had looked at me during class …
I should’ve kept it to myself. I shouldn’t have said shit.
“Was he protecting you?” Ichika asked, scooping water in her hand and washing the soap out of my hair. She stared down at the small bubbles forming around my breasts. “Was he jealous? Can you tell me anything?”
I squeezed my eyes closed.
Whether he was protecting me or not, he had been wrong to kill Gunther.
“The other guy,” I whispered, not wanting to admit it, “had a gun.”
“So, he was protecting you.”
“Yeah, but … he didn’t have to … he didn’t have to hurt the guy.”
“Sakura,” Ichika said, gently taking my shoulders, “he had a gun. He could’ve killed you.”
I opened my mouth to disagree with everything that she had just said, but I couldn’t. Ichika was one hundred percent right.
What if Gunther had killed me or Callan? If he had shot that gun and killed Callan, I would’ve wished Gunther to be dead.
I probably wouldn’t have been in my right mind, and I’d have killed Gunther myself.