sakura
After school, I had watched Callan walk into the principal’s office. I’d been waiting in the hallway for almost an hour now for him to come out with his hair all ruffled and that stupid sex-smirk on his face.
I wanted to see the girl he had decided to fuck in my place.
Who is it? Nicole, the head cheerleader? Maybe it is another good girl like me?
Pacing the hallway, I held my backpack straps tightly in my hands and shook my head.
This can’t be happening. This really can’t fucking be happening.
He had to be in there with another student, fucking her the way he had fucked me.
Doubts about the past three weeks raced through my head. What the fuck am I doing here? Am I really staying and waiting for him to come out? Do I really want to see that? No, of course not. I hate him.
But I did want revenge.
When I spotted Poison walking out of one of the many side doorways, I sprinted down the hall toward them. The only thing I could think about was Callan, about what he was doing, about the catalog of girls he could be fucking right now.
My entire body ached, my throat closing.
“Kai,” I said, catching up to them and grabbing his wrist. “I need a favor.”
João arched his brow and pulled out a box of cigarettes, leaning against the side of the building and rolling his eyes. “Oh, this will be good. Another good girl coming to us with a favor. How fucking exciting.”
Kai cut his gaze to João, then turned to me. “What is it?”
“Do you have a gun?” I asked.
The words had tumbled out of my mouth before I could even stop them, and I didn’t even know why I had asked. Do I really think I can hold a gun steady? What the fuck will I even use it for? Protection? To hurt someone?
Tears welled up in my eyes at the thought. Hurt someone? Is that what I am resorting to? Hurting Callan? How can I think such a thing? As much as I hated him for shooting Gunther, he had protected me from him.
And now, I want to hurt him?!
“A gun?” Kai asked, eyes widening. He snatched my arm and tugged me to the side, away from João, who was now laughing his ass off at me. “What the fuck do you need a gun for, Sakura? Is something going on at home?”
If Callan had done all that to just use me, if he was fucking another girl right now in the principal’s office, if I had been so stupid to believe that a man twice my age would actually like an impressionable girl like me …
I pressed a hand over my mouth to muffle a sob.
Why have I been so stupid these past few days? Why did I actually think he liked me and wasn’t just using me for my pussy because his wife wasn’t giving him any? Tears streamed down my face. What is wrong with me?
“Sakura,” Kai said.
“N-no,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
When I turned away, he yanked me back by the wrist. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” I said, pulling myself away. “Forget it.”
“Is it something at school?” he asked.
“Please, drop it,” I whispered. “It doesn’t matter. Why do you even care?”
“Because you asked me for a gun.”
“Forget it,” João said to him. “Hurry this up. We have shit to do.”
“I’m not going to just forget it,” he said, shoving João back. “You know there’s some shit going on in this town. And now, the valedictorian is asking me for a fucking gun.” He turned back to me. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
But I couldn’t tell him. I didn’t want to tell him. This had been a mistake, asking him for a gun. I wasn’t even planning to use it. I didn’t know what had gotten into me. I was so jealous. So fucking jealous.
It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair.
It had been an hour after school. An entire hour.
“I can’t tell you,” I said. “It’s just … it’s my love life. My stupid fucking love life.”
João took another long drag of his cigarette. “Avery? I knew Vera couldn’t trust him.”
Vera? I pushed my tears off my cheeks and glared back at the school. Is he fucking Vera too? She was the prettiest girl in all of Redwood Academy. I didn’t know why the hell I’d thought she wouldn’t do something like that.
Callan must’ve liked the smart, nerdy, geeky girls, like me.
Which meant he had a load of women to fuck—Allie Hall, Imani Abara, Vera Rodriguez, Maddie Weber, Astrid Hansen. The list went on and on and on and on and on. He had an entire collection of women to choose from if he wanted.
Kai pressed his lips together. “What did he do?”
“Nothing. He did nothing to me.”
Instead of continuing the conversation, I stormed away and to my car. I couldn’t tell him what had happened. They already had an idea of what was going on between me and Mr. Avery. But still, I couldn’t. It was so embarrassing—too embarrassing.
After sliding into the car, I turned it on and hit the gas.
And the most fucked up part about this all? I still wanted to see him.
So, that was what I was going to do. I steered the car in the direction of his home. When he was done fucking whoever he was fucking, he’d get me. I’d show him what he was missing. I’d show him that he should have chosen me.