Jonathan stared at Tiffany, his head swirling. He heard the words leave her lips, but they weren’t registering in his brain. Like his body was literally rejecting the things she’d said.
He wasn’t her friend. He couldn’t be that anymore.
She was so much more to him than a friend, and he was getting tired of telling himself differently.
It was pure torture to see her flirt with Cody, and he’d tried to mask it with Shelby—the tall, blonde model—but nothing could mask the dull ache in his chest. All he wanted was Tiffany.
She was all he’d ever need. If only she’d let him tell her that.
But from the panicked look in her eyes and the way she was leaning back, his feelings were the last things she wanted to hear.
Her hand came up and rested on his arm. She smiled up at him, and from the look in her eyes, he was not going to like what she had to say.
“I love you like a friend. That’s all.” She paused as her gaze roamed over his face.
Was he that obvious? Could she see that her words were killing him? His heart was breaking in a way that he doubted could ever heal.
He’d broken up with so many girls in his past, but this was different. Getting rejected by the one woman who knew so much about him was worse.
“Tiffany, I—”
“Please, Jonathan, don’t do this.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper as she stared up at him, a pleading look in her eyes.
“Do what?” What did she think he was going to do? And why was wanting to love her bad? Was it him?
She swallowed. “Whatever it is you are going to do, please don’t. I can’t…I can’t lose you as a friend. You mean too much to me.”
It felt as if she’d just slapped him in the face. Why was she fighting this? All he wanted to do was to love her and have her love him back. Was that so wrong?
But she looked so small and broken, standing in front of him with a desperate look in her eyes, that he couldn’t just push past her concerns and confess. That wasn’t love, and he didn’t want to hurt her. It was his job to protect her—even if it meant protecting her from him.
He sighed and then smiled as he reached down and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he said with his lips muffled by her hair. The smell of her coconut shampoo surrounded him. It caused the hole in his heart to ache.
As much as he wanted her, she would never be his, and he needed to accept that.
Tiffany let out a soft sob as she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his shirt. They stood there, in the middle of the dance floor, holding each other.
It wasn’t until the song ended and a lighter, pop song started blaring from the speakers that they pulled apart.
Jonathan smiled down at her, even though his soul ached to pull her back. To never let her go.
Tiffany looked relieved as she wiped her eyes. Then she smiled up at him. “I should probably go find Cody,” she said.
Jonathan nodded. “I’ll come with you.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Really? Why? Don’t you have a leggy blonde to get back to?”
Jonathan shrugged. “Shelby? I don’t know where she went off to. I think I annoyed her.” Truth was, he had ditched her. He didn’t want to string her along if there wasn’t anything that could happen between them. He doubted anyone would entice him anymore. Not when his heart belonged to the one woman who didn’t want him.
Tiffany patted his arm. “Well, I’m sure we’ll find someone for you.” She waved her hand around the crowded bar. “There’s lots of eligible women here. I’m sure one of them will pass the Jonathan test.”
Jonathan just nodded. He wasn’t comfortable with pretending to let Tiffany set him up anymore. If anything, he just wanted her to drop it.
“There you are,” Cody’s voice pulled Jonathan’s attention over.
It took all his strength not to reach out and punch Cody in his smug face. And then he felt bad. Cody didn’t know what was going on. To him, Tiffany was a girl that he was interested in. Someone who wasn’t tied to anyone else.
Why should that make him mad?
“Can we go get a drink?” Tiffany asked as she turned and smiled up at him.
Cody nodded. “Of course. Anything for you.”
Tiffany turned and studied Jonathan as Cody led her over to the bar. Jonathan couldn’t help but hold her gaze as she walked past him.
He wanted to reach out. To tell her not to go. She should stay with him…he loved her. But she just smiled and shifted her attention over to Cody, who was telling her about the different types of drinks he liked.
Now alone, Jonathan contemplated either walking over to join them or leaving. If Tiffany wanted someone here so she could save face with her family, Cody would fill that void just fine. Besides, it wasn’t like he knew anyone else here. What would it matter if he left?
Turning, he kept his head down as he made his way off the dance floor and ran right into someone. Startled, he glanced up to see Beatrice standing there with a teasing look on her face.
“Hey,” she said, reaching out to rest her hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”
Clearing his throat, Jonathan nodded. “Yeah, of course. Why?”
She studied him and then shrugged. “Nothing.” Then she smiled. “How’s your evening going?”
It was almost nice to have someone other than Tiffany to talk to. It was more relaxed than trying to wade through the pain associated with his best friend.
“Well…” He shrugged as he winked down at her. Flirting with someone when it meant nothing was actually calming. There was no stress that went along with it.
Beatrice dropped her jaw in an exaggerated movement. “Well, we just might have to remedy that. Come on.” She slid her hand down his arm and into his hand. Then she tugged, pulling him along after her.
Chuckling, Jonathan followed as she led him over to the bar—on the other side of Tiffany and Cody.
Jonathan couldn’t help but let his gaze flick over to Tiffany, who was staring at him, aghast. When their eyes met, Jonathan mustered the courage to wave at her and then shoot her a thumbs-up.
Tiffany closed her lips and smiled, returning the gesture. Then she moved her attention over to Cody, who looked as if he were waiting for an answer. Tiffany laughed—a bit too loud—and then leaned in to rest her hand on Cody’s arm.
Standing there and staring at them wasn’t going to fix the hole in his heart, so Jonathan turned his attention over to Beatrice. She had picked up the drink that the bartender had just set down and turned to hand him one.
Jonathan took it and smiled down at her.
He needed to move on from Tiffany. Especially since it seemed like he was the only one whose feelings had changed. If he was going to even attempt to maintain his friendship with the woman who’d rejected him, he needed to find someone else and fast.
And Beatrice was here, staring at him with a wide smile.
She’d have to do.
Jonathan spent the evening trying to carry a conversation with Beatrice while ignoring the fact that Cody was standing too close to Tiffany or the way his fingers were playing with her hair.
There were a few times that he had to stifle the desire to walk over there and pull Cody off of Tiffany when he leaned in and almost kissed her.
Thankfully, Tiffany didn’t notice and turned her head just in time, narrowly missing Cody’s lips.
By the time he got back to his hotel room, Jonathan was exhausted. He bid a disappointed Beatrice good night and headed over to the elevator, where he pressed the up button.
Thankfully, no one tried to board with him as the doors slid shut.
Now alone, he let out a sigh as he leaned against one of the elevator walls. He stared at his hands as he tried to sort through all the emotions coursing through him.
What was he going to do? How was he going to survive the rest of this trip? He hated having a front seat to Tiffany’s blossoming new romance.
Ugh.
He fisted his hands and exited the elevator. He swiped his room key and pushed into the room.
The door shut behind him with a resounding thud.
Exhaustion getting the better of him, he made his way over to the bed and flopped down face-first. He lay there until the sound of a keycard trying to open the door drew his attention.
He heard Tiffany’s exasperated sigh and two muffled voices.
He shook his head as he pushed off the bed and headed over to the door. He could do this. He could be strong. If he didn’t want to lose Tiffany as a friend, he needed to buck up and get over the feelings that were swarming his mind.
He pushed down hard on the door handle and swung the door open to find a very startled Tiffany. Her eyes were wide and her lips parted in an “o.”
“Hey,” he said, holding the door open with his arm.
“Hey…” She glanced behind him and into the room. “I, um, I didn’t expect you back so early.”
His gaze flicked over to Cody, who was leaning against the wall with an amused look on his face.
“Yeah, I was tired. Beatrice was tired. We decided to call it a night.”
Tiffany furrowed her brow. “Oh. I saw Beatrice in the lobby bar. So maybe she wasn’t as tired?”
Jonathan shrugged. “Well, I was beat.”
Tiffany nodded as she fiddled with the keycard in her hand. “Well, Cody was just dropping me off.”
“Oh.” An awkward feeling fell around them, so Jonathan flipped the lock to the door and moved back into the room. “I’ll just leave this so you can get back in.”
Tiffany’s cheeks flushed and she looked like she was going to say something, but Jonathan wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it. The last thing he needed was for her to define her new relationship with Cody. He wasn’t sure he could take another emotional hit like that.
“I’ll be in here, not listening,” he said as the door closed on them.
Frustration brewed in his stomach as he made his way over to the bed and sat down. After a few seconds, he let out a growl and went in search of the remote. There was no reason that saying goodbye should take this long, which meant only one thing—and that one thing was the last thing he wanted to be thinking about.
He clicked the power button and began to scroll through the channels. He landed on the news and turned the volume up. He really wasn’t listening to what was being said, he just needed a distraction.
A few minutes later, Tiffany slipped into the room, letting the door close behind her. Jonathan studied her expression from the corner of his eye. Did she look happy? Did she really like that guy?
He cleared his throat as he focused his attention back to the TV.
Tiffany stepped closer to the bed. Not sure what she was doing, he glanced over at her and smiled. “Have a fun time?” he asked.
Tiffany leaned in. “What?”
Realizing that she couldn’t hear him over the TV, he clicked the volume down to a manageable decibel.
“Did you have a fun time?”
Tiffany sat down on the corner of the bed and studied him. “Yeah. Cody is nice.”
Jonathan swallowed hard as he forced a smile. “Well, that’s good. Cody seems like an alright guy.” He shrugged like he didn’t care. Anything to save face with Tiffany.
“He is.”
Jonathan’s cheeks hurt from how hard he was smiling. Turns out a fake smile is a lot harder to manage then a real one. Plus, what was up with their conversation? Was this really what they’d come to? Awkward one-liners?
Ugh.
Their relationship was over before it ever began.
Frustrated with how he was feeling, Jonathan pushed off the bed and headed over to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. Once it was half gone, he twisted the lid back on and set it on the dresser next to the TV.
He turned around to see Tiffany staring off into the distance. She was studying the wall and looked as if she had a lot on her mind.
Normally he’d ask her what was wrong, but he wasn’t sure if that was overstepping anymore. After she’d rejected him earlier at the bar, he wasn’t sure he could handle her doing that again. He sighed and rolled his shoulders as he moved over to one of the dresser drawers and pulled it open. Maybe they had something to read in one of them.
Anything to make him look distracted.
“Looking for something?” Tiffany asked.
Jonathan slammed one of the drawers—probably a bit too hard. Turning, he shrugged. “A book. Something.”
She studied him for a moment before she exhaled and flopped back on the bed.
“What’s happening to us?” she whispered, almost as if she hadn’t meant to say it out loud.
Jonathan’s heart began to race as he stepped forward. Had he heard her right? What did that mean?
“What?” he asked.
Tiffany pinched her lips together as she stared up at the ceiling. So she had been trying to keep it a secret.
“Jonathan, let it go,” she said as she reached her hands up to her face and began massaging her temples.
“Let what go?” For some inane reason, he thought it was wise to walk over to her. Like facing her was the best way to get her to tell the truth.
She closed her eyes. “Whatever you think is going on.”
He needed her to look him in the eyes. He needed her to tell him that it was hopeless. There was no way he was going to be able to move on if she didn’t know how he felt.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice coming out rough.
Tiffany stilled, her eyes closed. Then she slowly opened them. “Jonathan, I can’t—”
“Can’t or won’t?”
She glanced over at him and then slowly sat up. She stood, moving toward the window and peering out. “I like Cody. I’m sorry.”
No. There was no way he could believe that. She’d just met the guy. “Typical Tiffany,” he said as he walked over to the TV and turned it off.
She whipped around, a fiery look in her eyes. “‘Excuse me?”
Jonathan met her frustration with the same amount of intensity. He wasn’t going to let her off the hook. She was running away and she knew it. She always ran from what was real. “You’re a coward.”
Her eyebrows rose as her lips parted. “I’m a what?”
Jonathan stood his ground. He was her best friend. It was his job to call her on her crap. “You’re being a coward. You’re afraid of love.”
She stepped forward, her hand raised as if she were trying to stop the words lingering in the air. “I am not a coward. And what about you? Running from any meaningful relationship.”
He studied her. “What?”
She held up her fingers and pointed them in his direction. “When was the last time you had a relationship that lasted longer than a Tic Tac?”
Jonathan shook his head. “I’m not the one on trial here. I’m not the one fighting my feelings.”
Her expression softened as she studied him. “What does that mean?” she whispered as she dropped her hand.
“I think you know,” he said, stepping forward, the desire to touch her overpowering him. He needed her to know how he felt even if she was never going to let him say it.
“Jonathan,” she breathed as he approached her. She didn’t move to back away, which he took as a good sign.
Throwing caution to the wind, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. Every part of him needed to touch her. To feel her close.
“Tiffany,” he whispered, dipping down to press his lips to hers.
The room around him stilled as she tensed. Worried he’d done something wrong, he moved to pull away. But Tiffany wouldn’t let him. Instead, she raised her hands up to his neck and entwined her fingers in his hair, crushing his mouth to hers.
Jonathan let out a growl as he reached down and pulled her legs up around his waist. He held her steady as his mouth explored hers.
Every part of him needed her to know that she was the one. He needed this kiss to say everything that he hadn’t been able to say. That he was in love with her.
He made his way over to the bed and sat her down gently. He focused on her lips as she parted them and allowed him in.
This was so much more than a kiss. She was finally admitting that there was something more than friendship between the two of them. This kiss meant they just might have a chance at what he so desperately wanted.
For her to love him back.
He pulled back and met her gaze, studying every part of her face. She was pure perfection. How had he never seen that before.
Her hands were warm as they explored his chest, arms, and back.
He dropped down onto his elbows so he could brush her hair from her face. Then he leaned in and pressed his lips gently to her forehead, temple, and then cheek.
She let out a soft sigh, and it stirred a hunger inside of him. He wanted Tiffany. All of her.
He moved to press his lips to hers again, but this time, she pushed against his chest. Confused, he pulled back to study her.
Instead of the hazy-eyed girl that had been kissing him before, she was wide-eyed and panicked. Like she’d just made the biggest mistake of her life.
“I—I need to go to the bathroom,” she said.
Worried he’d done something wrong, he nodded and stood, allowing her to slip past him. She didn’t look back as she hurried into the bathroom and shut the door.
Now alone, Jonathan sat down on the bed. Thoughts swirled around in his mind. Part of him was deliriously happy. He was in love with his best friend.
The other part of him worried that there was no way she felt the same.