CHAPTER 35

KEEP IT ZIPPED

“Calm down, Mrs Green,” said DCI Bryant. “We will find your children!”

“Yes,” said PC Middleton. “Even though we’ve completely failed, up to this point, to find your father …”

This made Vicky, who’d been crying hysterically for some time, cry even more. It also made DCI Bryant stare at PC Middleton for some time.

PC Middleton nodded to himself. “Have I said something stupid again, sir?” he said.

DCI Bryant nodded in turn, gesturing with his head towards Vicky, who now had her face in her hands.

“Thought so. Zzzzzzzip!” said PC Middleton, doing the motion across his mouth again.

“I don’t know what’s happening to us!” sobbed Vicky. “Our family is falling apart! And we’ve been trying so hard, making sure Sam has a really nice birthday, every day!”

“Yes, darling,” said Charlie, who was sitting behind her, rubbing her back. DCI Bryant sipped his tea, discreetly, waiting for her to calm down. PC Middleton looked on, jotting things down in his notebook.

“Any unusual activity or suchlike?” said DCI Bryant eventually. “From your son?”

“Well … there is something,” said Charlie. “There’s been a lot of banging and nailing and general kind of … building sounds coming from Sam’s room over the last few days …”

“Right … have you got that, Middleton?”

“Writing it down, sir.”

“We actually asked Ruby to see if she could find out what it was. Because Sam wouldn’t let us into his room …”

“Hold on …” said PC Middleton, scribbling. “Wouldn’t … let … us … into his room …”

“Don’t write ‘us’, Middleton.”

PC Middleton frowned. “But that’s what Mr Green said.”

“Yes, but if you write ‘us’, when you look back at your notes, it will look like Sam hadn’t let you and me into his room. Won’t it?”

PC Middleton looked down at his pad, confused.

“And, knowing you, you’ll find that confusing, won’t you?” DCI Bryant continued.

PC Middleton considered this for a moment. “Yes. You’re right, sir. I will. Absolutely.” He looked down again, frowning even harder. Then looked up. “So … what shall I write?”

Mr and Mrs Green. Sam wouldn’t let Mr and Mrs Green into his room!”

“Oh! Yes!” He crossed out what he’d written before, and started again.

“Any other information, Mr Green? Mrs Green?” said DCI Bryant.

“Well,” said Vicky, “there’s his birthday lists. Over the last few days …”

“Yes …” said Charlie, unfolding one, and handing it over. DCI Bryant scanned it with his eyes. Then, read out loud:

“1. Six large planks of wood.

2. A hammer and some nails.

3. Six coils of rope.

4. A roll of gaffer tape.

5. Two brooms.”

He looked up. “So he was making something. It sounds like … a door? Maybe?”

“Or a box?” said Charlie.

“A sofa?” said PC Middleton.

DCI Bryant stared at him. “Well, clearly it’s not a sofa, Middleton. There are no cushions on the list. Or any springs.”

“Stupid idea, sir?”

“Yes, Middleton.”

“Right you are.” He did the zipping motion again. “And this time I’ll keep it …” He did the zipping motion AGAIN. With quite a loud zzzzippp! sound.

DCI Bryant turned back to Charlie and Vicky.

“Anything else you can think of? What does Sam like? Hobbies et cetera …?”

The Greens looked at each other. Their faces, already worried, betrayed a small element of sadness.

“Well …” said Vicky, blinking away the tears, “he used to like lots of things. Sci-fi. Building models of rocket ships and cars and stuff. But recently he’s become a bit …” She looked across at her husband. He nodded, understanding.

“Truth is, we don’t quite know what he likes any more. He seems not to like anything that much …” Charlie’s voice went down, almost to a whisper. “He’s become … a bit of a different boy …”

“Skateboards!” said Vicky suddenly.

“Sorry?” said DCI Bryant.

“He used to like skateboards. And that hasn’t changed! Because recently he asked for another one. More than one, in fact!”

“Yes,” said Charlie, “he did! We got him one, and then recently he asked for three more.”

“He’s got four skateboards?” said DCI Bryant.

“Yes.”

“And where are they now?”

Vicky and Charlie looked at each other.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t see them in his room when we searched up there,” said Vicky.

“Right … so it’s possible that your son and your daughter have gone somewhere on the skateboards?”

“Well …” said Charlie. “I don’t know. Ruby doesn’t really skate … and why would they take all four?”

“I don’t know,” said DCI Bryant, his face going into a face not unlike the ones he had seen on the TV in crime shows, where the detective is doing some hard thinking. “If you put six planks of wood together with four skateboards … what would that look like? What would that make?”

“MMMMMMM!! MMMMMM!!”

Charlie, Vicky and DCI Bryant looked round. It was PC Middleton.

“MMMMMM! MMMMMM!” he continued.

“Middleton …” said DCI Bryant. “Are you all right? Are you having some sort of fit?”

With his right index finger, PC Middleton pointed to his mouth.

“You’ve bitten your tongue?”

PC Middleton shook his head. He waved his left hand in front of his mouth.

“You’ve burnt your hand?”

“MMMMM! MMMMM!”

“I think, DCI Bryant …” said Vicky gently, “that PC Middleton is asking if he can … er … unzip his mouth.”

PC Middleton did a big thumbs-up at Vicky, pointing at her at the same time with his other hand.

DCI Bryant stared at PC Middleton for some small time. Then he said: “Really? That’s really what you’re trying to say?”

PC Middleton nodded his head. DCI Bryant nodded as well, while sighing very, very deeply.

“OK, Middleton. You can unzip your mouth.”

PC Middleton did so, with a very big, “ZZZIIIPPPP!

“Oh, that’s better,” he said, breathing out heavily.

“So …!” said DCI Bryant. “What is it? What did you want to say?”

“Oh! Yes! Well! You know when we were driving here?”

“Yes …”

“And you were fiddling with the radio?”

“Well. Yes.” DCI Bryant glanced at Charlie and Vicky. “To keep contact with the station, of course …”

“No, you were trying to get The Organist Entertains on Radio Two. You always like to listen to that.”

DCI Bryant frowned, and raised his hand as if to tell PC Middleton to zip it again. But then thought better of it.

“Anyway,” continued PC Middleton, “while you were doing that, we nearly hit two children.”

Charlie and Vicky and DCI Bryant were open-mouthed.

“WHAT?” said DCI Bryant.

“Yes. They were coming down the road the other way on a … well. If I had to describe it, I’d say it was … six planks of wood mounted on four skateboards.”

Charlie and Vicky and DCI Bryant’s mouth stayed open.

DCI Bryant said:

“And … and … you didn’t think to mention it? At all?”

“Well. They swerved past us fine. No bother. And you know. I didn’t want to disturb you during The Organist Entertains.

There was a long pause, during which Charlie and Vicky and DCI Bryant all continued to stare at PC Middleton.

“You know what?” he said, eventually. “I think next time I’ll just keep it zipped.”