Chapter Seventeen

Breck kissed Rowan’s bare shoulder. She shifted, smiled in her sleep, but continued to nuzzle the pillow. She was so beautiful. He fingered her red curls, unable to believe he was here, but really glad he was too. When he looked at her, he didn’t see pain, betrayal—Bailey. All he saw was Rowan. And he loved what he saw.

Would she let him stay here? He could help her run the bed and breakfast. He’d talk to his agent. He’d have to still fulfill the contracts with his current sponsors, but after that he could slow down as much as he wanted. Maybe Rowan would even attend his upcoming game, if they didn’t have any guests at Destiny Knocks.

Wow. He really must be in love, because here he was planning their life when he didn’t even know what she wanted. But he believed in her. He wouldn’t let his fear of bad luck stand between them.

Breck heard Rowan’s cell ring in the distance. He snuck out of bed to silence it. She’d been through so much the past few days, he wanted her to have her rest.

Breck walked over to the dresser and fumbled with the phone. The screen lit up, announcing the name of a doctor’s office.

His insides turned to ice, which didn’t make sense. So she had a doctor’s office calling her? What was wrong with that?

Breck hit the button to turn it off.

He was awake now so he pulled on his pants from yesterday and headed downstairs. To make her breakfast, he told himself. She said she wanted to talk to him over breakfast.

But what if she was sick? She’d fainted the first day she saw him. Christ. What the hell would he do if that’s what she wanted to talk to him about? To tell him she was sick. Then I’ll take care of her. He loved her and would do anything for her.

In the kitchen, Breck pulled the phonebook out of a drawer. Hell, he knew this was wrong. It was an invasion of privacy, but he was worried. He should close the book, but instead he looked up the doctor’s name he’d read on the screen.

Obstetrics and Gynecology.

The smallest push would’ve knocked him over right then.

There were a million different reasons she could go to the OBGYN, but he knew. Somehow he fucking knew. The fainting, not wanting him to go to the hospital with her, the refusal to drink any alcohol. Wanting to talk to him.

Christ…was she carrying his baby? Breck’s heart slammed in his rib cage. No. He’d used protection. He was always sure to be safe.

Had she been with someone else?

The muscles in Breck’s body tensed so much, they felt like they could shatter. Holy shit. Was it happening again? But he and Rowan weren’t together.

She could have told him. She should have told me.

She’d betrayed him. Just like Bailey.

…

Rowan reached for Breck, but he wasn’t in bed. Sitting up, she saw he wasn’t in the room either. She couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face when she thought of last night. Of him. Of them.

Of how much she loved him.

Rowan put a hand on her belly. “Hey, in there. I know you’re probably wondering what I’m doing, but Mommy’s going to make it right. I’m talking to Daddy today and I know he’ll be just as excited about you as I am.”

She believed that. Had to.

Rowan tossed on a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Nerves attacked her, but her hope fought them away. She wasn’t going to let this go on another day. And Breck would understand.

She stopped by his bedroom door when she noticed him moving around inside.

“Hey you…” The smile dropped from her face. Breck was fully dressed and packing. Ace meowed from her carrier on his bed.

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

She’d never hear his voice so tight. He didn’t look at her.

Rowan felt like she could throw up. He’d found out. Somehow he’d found out.

“I’m so sorry. I know I’ve been a coward. I wanted to tell you a million times, but I was afraid. I promise I wouldn’t have let it go on any longer. I was telling you this morning, Breck.”

Her limbs shook and nausea hit her stomach again as she stepped inside the room. She damn sure wasn’t going to go down without a fight here. She loved this man and she had to make him understand that. Rowan reached out and touched his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I know—”

“Whose is it?”

Her hand dropped from him. “What do you mean whose is it? It’s yours. It’s not like I go around sleeping with guys all the time.”

He turned and the anger on his face told her this was somehow worse. Oh God. She’d been right all along! He wouldn’t want their baby.

“Excuse me?” His mouth was pursed.

“It’s yours. Of course it’s yours!” Please God, let him want our baby. Even if he doesn’t want me, let him want the baby. The thoughts warred with white hot anger that he’d ask her whose baby it was.

“I’m going to be a father?” he asked. The anger seemed to be gone from his voice, replaced by…awe.

“Yes. We’re going to have a baby.” She tried to smile at him. Hoped, prayed that he would return it. “They told me when I went to the hospital and everything is fine. I made sure. I promise. I have an appointment coming up and—”

“And you didn’t tell me? I’ve been here for close to six weeks and you never thought to tell me you were carrying our baby!” Anger once again replaced his awe. She could see the sweat on his forehead and she wanted to cry, but she held it back. It was worse than she thought it would be. He was so angry.

And so right.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I was scared and I didn’t know what to do! You told me you didn’t want kids and—”

“And I didn’t fucking know, Rowan. Don’t you think that would have made a difference?” Breck paced the room.

“I know, but I was trying to do the right thing. I want to be the best mom I can be and I knew nothing about you. And I tried. I tried so hard to find out about you because I knew you needed to know, but you just kept saying how you didn’t want ties and how your life wasn’t the best for it. I wanted to get to know you first.” Excuses. Even to her they all sounded like excuses.

“And obviously I didn’t pass your test, since I had to find out looking up a doctor’s name in a phonebook!” The pain was back in his voice and it about killed her.

“You did. You do. I wanted to tell you the night Shakes…and then last night. I was going to tell you this morning. I couldn’t keep it from you any longer. Not after…after I’d fallen in love with you.”

She willed him to look at her, but he had his back to her again. Zipping his suitcase, shoulders tense. Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go. Turn around. Tell me you want us.

“Breck…”

“You lied to me, Rowan. You kept the truth from me. Kept the fact that my baby is inside you.” Breck picked up his bag and turned. “I trusted you. Even though I didn’t want to. Even though I haven’t let myself trust or care about another woman since I was a nineteen-year-old kid and my wife slept with another man. I went home when my mother died to find out she betrayed me and now you did the same exact thing!”

Wife? Suddenly his words from last night made more sense. I didn’t expect to be here again.

“You say you wanted to get to know me, and maybe, maybe I can understand that, but I thought you knew me now. If you think I would walk away from you and our baby then it’s not the real me you’re seeing when you look at me.”

He was right, but… “You were married?” Why hadn’t he told her that?

“Are you really going to ask that when you kept a baby from me?”

Rowan’s heart broke in two. She knew she’d kept something huge from him, but he wasn’t innocent either. He didn’t trust her.

“You don’t love me,” Rowan said. “You might think you do, but you don’t. Or maybe you can love me because God knows I love you, even though I lied. And I will fully admit to lying to you and being wrong, but how can you sit there and judge me when you kept something from me too? How can you tell me you trusted me when you didn’t have enough faith in me to share the fact that you’ve been married? What she did to you? I’ve told you everything about me, Breck, and you’ve been married and I didn’t know it?”

“And it looks like I was right because we’re here.” He slipped on his sunglasses and she wanted to beg him not to go. Tell him she loved him and they needed him, but she wasn’t the only one who was wrong here.

“We have a lot to talk about.” Stay. Talk to me.

“I have a plane to catch.” Breck picked up Ace’s carrier.

“You still have a bit of time before your tournament, right? Why don’t you stay and—”

“I’m leaving. And you might not know this about me, but there’s no way I’m walking away from this baby. I want to know everything. I will be a part of her life. I might be leaving now, but you’re not getting rid of me.”

And then he was gone.

And all she could think was he’d called the baby a her, too.