Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?
I’ve been to London to look at the Queen.
Pussy cat, pussy cat, what did you there?
I frightened a little mouse under her chair.
Morris, who is a cat and is (so to speak) the star of a cat-food advertising campaign, has edited (so to speak again) a book about cats and how to take care of them. Morris, who is an orange tabby cat, and his trainer, a man with a severe crew-cut, came to the city the other day to promote the book, so they invited people to come to Sardi’s and ask questions and take pictures. Morris was placed on a table at one end of the room for all to see, and he licked his paws, rested his chin on his paws, half closed his eyes, moved one of his ears, moved both of his ears, lay down on his stomach, flicked his tail, and jumped off the table and tried to run away a few times.
“Is he drugged?” asked a woman, who later said that she is
very concerned about the treatment of cats in public life, is against cat shows, has five cats, and takes her cats to a cat dentist regularly.
“No,” said someone connected with Morris and his trainer. “People always ask that. But Morris doesn’t have to be drugged. He’s a real professional.”
“But isn’t Morris dead?” asked another woman.
“Well, yes, but that was the other Morris,” answered the connection. “It’s like a dynasty. Morris is dead. Long live Morris. This Morris was found in a cat shelter. He was a stray. This is the Morris that is now used in all the ads. But there are three more in reserve, in case he should suddenly drop dead.”
A grown man in a Kool-Aid-orange-and-white cat suit walked by. On his stomach, written in black letters, were the words “Personal Ambassador to Morris the Cat.”
“He looks highly flammable,” said a man.
“It’s rough,” said a woman.
Morris left the room, presumably to eat a meal of fish, fish by-products, water, crab, shrimp, animal fat, wheat flour, dried yeast, dried whey, iron oxide, vitamin E, A, and niacin supplements, thiamin mononitrate, ethylenediamine dihydroiodide, calcium pantothenate, riboflavin supplement, vitamin D3 supplement, and pyridoxine hydrochloride, which make up the contents of a six-and-a-half-ounce can of the brand of cat food that Morris represents.
—December 15, 1980