The days had gone by faster than I would have liked, but at least I still had my sanity, or so I had thought at first. I had left Al hanging by herself at the cafe, telling her my mom was having a meltdown at home and I had to go home. It was mainly because of the comment I made to Al. Did she think of me differently? Weird? Either way, it wasn’t a total lie, because when I had gotten home my mother was furious, asking me where I had been all day and why I didn’t answer her texts. Though, I turned it around on her, claiming she was the one who bailed on me, not the other way around. It’s been nearly two weeks now, and the two of us really don’t speak much. Of course my silence was much to Craig’s approval, he never did care for me sharing how I felt, about anything, at all.
When the bell rang, I grabbed my books and headed down the hall to my locker; thankfully it was lunch time, though I wasn’t really hungry. As I headed down and to the cafeteria, I sat down at an empty table but it wasn’t long before a pair of slender arms wrapped around my neck. “Thought you could hide from me all year?”
I smirked as Al removed her arms and took a seat next to me. “Now who said I was hiding?” I mused before nudging her arm.
Letting out a laugh she gave me a serious look, “I’m just saying you’ve been really distant. Are you okay! Did I like piss you off or something?”
Now that question threw me through a loop. I was nowhere near mad at AL; quite the opposite, I missed her but how could I say that without seeming…odd? Peeling the edge of my notebook, I shook my head. “No, you didn’t do anything. Just been tough at home, you know?”
Al seemed sympathetic; her hand moved on top of mine, to stop its endless fiddling with my notebook. “Hey, I’m sure it will get better; you and your mom will patch things up eventually.”
That sounded nice, but it really wasn’t as simple as patching things up: the relationship between me and my mother had been strained for quite some time. “Maybe, in time. Who knows?”
“Who knows what?” Tyler asked, god he was so damn annoying but he made up for that with his comedic style, and tendency to interrupt class. His arms wrapped around Al, who’s comforting touch left my hand somewhat cold.
She grumbled in an annoyed manner pushing his arms from around her, “Ew, go hump someone else’s leg Tyler.” I couldn’t help but laugh, which I stopped when he shot a glare at me before he grinned.
“Aw come on, Al, I know you want me.” His left hand slid down along her thigh, which she slapped away.
“Jesus Tyler, I said go away.” She laughed, swatting at him.
Sliding my chair back, I stood up which made Al look towards me. “Vega?”
Tyler laughed lightly, “Oooh, I think she’s jealous I’m touching you.” Christ what a stupid thing for him to say, but was he right?
“God Tyler! Don’t be gross.” I had gone to say something, but once I had heard Al, I felt this… sting in my chest. What the hell was wrong with me?
Grabbing my notebook, I headed out of the cafeteria; lunch was nowhere near over but I had to get out of there. Turning down the hall, I hid beneath a staircase and sighed; none of it made sense, the way I felt about Al, the way I felt towards her. If anything, I was disgusted by the boys who’d constantly been hitting on me since I started here. I was about to head to my next class earlier than I wanted, until Al poked her head under the stair case.
“Hiding again, huh?” I had forgotten she knew where I hung out when I was stressed.
As she stood in front of me, I looked to her. “Sorry, just felt a bit dizzy. Wanted to get out of there.” God I really needed to stop lying! I was a shitty Liar, and Al made that clear a few times.
“Dizzy? Maybe I should take you to the nurse.” Her hand went to reach for mine but I flinched away making her raise an eyebrow.
“No, I’m fine. Aright! So stop worrying about me.” She sighed and crossed her arms.
“Is this because of that stupid comment Tyler made about you being jealous? You know how he is. It was just a joke, Vega!”
Defense up, “It was not a joke! I mean…ugh! You know what just forget it!”
AL seemed to be at a loss for words. It had taken her a few moments before she noticed the shade of red on my cheeks. “Oh…wait seriously? You’re kidding right?” That faint laugh of hers, I don’t know, if it made me blush more, or pissed me off. Fuck it, I didn’t need to make friends here, and I may as well just get this embarrassing moment over with.
“No… Yes I was jealous! But don’t worry about it…I don’t want to be gross.”
That seemed to make Al frown; the hurt in her eyes made my own heart ache. “Vega…I didn’t mean you were gross! I just meant…look I didn’t know you were into me, or into girls for that matter.”
I clenched my notebook. “I’m not! I’m just… I don’t know. Just forget it, alright?” Before she could say anything else, I brushed past her and headed up the stairs. Thankfully we only had three hours of school left, but that didn’t make it any easier on me. During History, all I could do was look over at Al, who just kept staring at me the entire time with those apologetic eyes. She had done nothing wrong; I was the one who was wrong, or at least that’s how it felt to me.
“Vega, do you know the answer?” My thoughts turned to Mr. Ryker who was standing in front of his desk; he must have caught me spacing out. Dickhead!
“I’m sorry I didn’t hear the question.”
He sighed and repeated it once more, “Mankind must put an end to war, before war puts an end to mankind. Who said this?” I rolled my eyes, here we were in eleventh grade History and it was just the same as grades before: repetitive.
“John F. Kennedy.”
Mr. Ryker chuckled, “And what do you think he meant by this?”
Taking in a deep breath I leaned forward. “I think it’s pretty self-explanatory, but if you need me to explain it differently so you can understand it better, I will. Put simply, Kennedy was saying if we as a nation, do not stop fighting, and declaring war, then there will be nobody left to fight or declare it.”
I half expected him to kick me out of class for back talking, and so did half the class. Instead he walked to the board, “Exactly, and that is what other leaders intended to do but as you can see to this day, war is inevitable.”
As soon as the bell rang, everyone stood up and cleared out of the room and I was right with them. Hell I couldn’t wait to get home! I could hear Al calling my name; I didn’t want to wait, or stop but my feet did the opposite. The other students were already out the door and I just stood there, looking at Al. “Look, I’m sorry if I upset you. I just wish you’d have told me.”
Giving her a faint smile I shrugged, “Not something you can just blurt out. Besides it’s probably nothing; maybe I should have went to the nurse after all.”
Both of us just stared before we laughed with one another. “Yeah, maybe, but I’m not going to think of you any differently.” Of course Al wouldn’t look at me differently; she wasn’t that kind of person. Still I would feel awkward around her. With a quick hug, we went our separate ways, and I was all sorts of confused. Not about how I felt about Al, but how she would see me now, how others would see me. I just hoped nobody would notice, especially my mother.
The room seemed to remain silent as I pushed the food on my plate around, giving a blank stare towards my mother, who was still waiting for my response. “Oh come on, Vega, it’s been two weeks! Can’t you at least tell me how school was?”
Inhaling slowly, I dropped my fork, not really in the mood to eat, much less communicate, but then again I really was not in the mood to argue either. “School was fine, not much going on really.”
Of course that didn’t seem to stop Craig from joining in on the conversation, “I hope your grades are good.” Ew, I really couldn’t stand this man let alone fathom how my mother could deal with him on a daily basis.
“Top of my class so far. Not bad for being new, huh?” The look on his face just made my day a whole lot better. Of course it wasn’t a lie: already teachers were noticing my potential and wanting to stick me in AP courses. Of course I told them I didn’t want to go, due to the fact I had a lot to do at home after school. In reality, I just wanted to get through the year with as little work as possible.
“Wow, top of your class? In just two weeks! That seems really…great.” I gave a faint chuckle towards my mother.
“It’s okay Mom, you’re not the only one finding it hard to believe. Hell some of my teachers were concerned and spoke to the principal on my behalf, suggested I was cheating.”
She rose her eyebrow and shook her head, “That’s just ridiculous! Do you want me to speak to them? I could have your previous school records faxed over. This way, they won’t have to worry about such stupid things.”
I shook my head before offering a kind smile. “That’s alright Mom, I can take care of it. Besides they’re just bored.” Sliding my chair back, I excused myself from the table. For some odd reason, I just wasn’t hungry. Then again, all I could feel were the butterflies in my stomach. Just why couldn’t I get Al off my mind?
As I lay onto my bed staring up at the ceiling, I couldn’t help but wonder what it was I should do about the fact that Al knew I was into her. Would it be easier to just pretend my feelings didn’t exist? Or, would it be easier for me to just, not hang out with her? Either option just didn’t seem to be right. Because my feelings were so strong, I couldn’t ignore them. Then for me to just ignore her? That would just make me…well…ignorant! Especially when she was the first person to even acknowledge that I was new, to make me feel more comfortable in unfamiliar territory. Then again, I would have been completely fine being that New Girl. The one who always sat in class in silence, the one who sat alone at lunch and had never said so much as a word to anyone.
Pulling the pillow over my face, I let out a loud muffled groan, which was more of a scream really. “That bad of a day, huh?”
Pulling the pillow away I looked to see my mother standing in my room. Sitting up I shook my head, “Something like that.”
Like any parent, she pushed for further information, “What do you mean?”
Oh let’s see, the fact that I have a crush on my friend, that happens to be a girl? Yeah, not going to tell her that.
“Just…I don’t know. I wish I fit in, like I did at my old school.” Liar! You know damn well you don’t care if you fit in.
“You just have to give it time sweetie. It’s not going to happen overnight.”
“I know.”
She offered a smile before speaking once more, “Trust me, in a few more weeks you will have all sorts of friends.” Really don’t think I’m the friendly type.
“If you say so.” With that, my mother left the room, leaving me once more, to my thoughts. ’Brrrrt Brrrrt Brrrrt’. Oh yea, I’d left my phone on vibrate all day, but who would be texting me? Sliding open my phone I felt my skin tingle all over, kind of like when you get goose bumps.
‘Hey, thought you’d want to hang with us tomorrow night, being that it’s Friday. A bunch of us are going to the shack. Let me know in class. Alright?’ Raising a brow, I thought for a few moments. The shack? Was that like, a cafe or something? And why invite me? Was it because she felt bad about not being into me? Great, now I would have something else to look forward to or perhaps, avoid at all costs.