The one thing about pep rallies? They always got you fired up no matter what kind of mood you were in. It was Snowbirds against Jackals, and rest assured our team was relentless, especially with me on the floor. Leaping upwards, my right hand came crashing down onto the ball as I spiked it dead center, scoring us more points.
“Here we go Jackals, here we go! Here we go Jackals, here we go!”
The sound of the students cheering was better than any high I could ever feel, there was just something about it that made you want to push even harder. We were doing just that. Marissa dove to the floor with a smack, propping her arms in an outward motion as the ball heaved up to me. I sent it flying over the net with another spike, the air horn sounding the final score. Jackals 32: Snowbirds 27. We all moved to the center, jumping up and down as the students went wild, we had just won the district championships.
Marissa and I headed outside with Jaynae racing towards the snow-covered playground as if it were to fall from our grasp at any moment. That’s how the three of us were, carefree, wild teenagers.
Jaynae sat down adjacent from us as she began to kick the snow up from beneath the swing set with a giggle. “Please tell me you saw coach’s face when we all ran out of there.”
Standing up right with a serious expression, Marissa’s right foot stomped to the ground, “That is inappropriate behavior for ladies of your age.”
We fell silent, before I damn near fell off the merry-go-round laughing my ass off, “Oh my god you sound just like her!”
We laughed in unison. It wasn’t like Coach Waylen was mean, she was just very strict and thought proper behavior was the only behavior. Hell, we were sixteen! How else were we supposed to behave?
“Oooh ooh! Serah, did your mom say it was okay for you to come with me and Jaynae to the ski resort this weekend?”
Giving a nod towards Marissa I smiled, “Of course she did. I barely had time to explain everything before she said yes.”
Jaynae leapt up from the swing and clasped her hands together, “It’s going to be great! There’s supposed to be fresh snow Friday night, so the slopes will be gnarly.”
Tucking a strand of hair behind her left ear, Marissa left out a chuckle, “Plan on spending less time on your ass Jaynae?”
Even I couldn’t help but laugh at that one. “Oh my god! You remember the time she slid the whole way down on her back?”
“Hey! I told you my board was busted at the bottom! I couldn’t get good support!” But even with Jaynae defending herself, we still ended up laughing.
A black ford truck pulled up to the curb, the horn sounding off two times before I waved my arm over my head. Turning to look at Marissa and Jaynae, I gave a wide smile, “Gotta go guys! Dad’s here.”
Hugging the two of them, I quickly moved across the snow and hopped up into the passenger side. Jaynae and Marissa both waving, “Bye Mr. Farrow!”
My dad gave a low chuckle sticking his arm out the window, “Bye ladies! And congratulations!”
As we pulled off the curb, and headed down the road, I glanced over to my dad with a frown before speaking, “You went fishing without me again.”
With a brow raised he looked to me, “It will never cease to amaze me how you know that. Hell, I even took a shower first!”
“Shower all you want, Dad; you always forget to change your boots.” I stated before pointing downwards with a proud smirk.
“Sorry kid, but I’m sure you’d have rather helped win that championship today. Your mother and I are proud of you.” His hand reached over to mess up my hair.
“Dad!” I scolded, giving off a faint laugh. Though my face grew more serious as I crossed my arms.
“Still mad at you for not waiting for me to go along.”
There was silence between us for a few moments, before he dropped his shoulders and relaxed back into his seat.
“Tell you what, we will go tomorrow morning. Be home by noon and have your mother fry us up some fish for lunch. Deal?”
We both knew I wasn’t really upset with him, it’s just how the two of us were with one another, inseparable.
“Fine, but I get to drive.”
Tossing his head back, he let out a hearty laugh before slapping me on the shoulder with that grin of his.
“Nice try kid. Your mother would kill me if I let you drive old Bess here.”
Reaching up I ran my left hand along the dashboard giving it a little pat as I turned to look at my father with a questionable gaze.
“You are going to give old Bess to me for my graduation gift, right?”
“You kidding? Of course I am. Hell, someone’s gotta take care of her when I’m gone.”
Slapping his arm, I gave a slight glare; he knew how much I hated when he would say things like that.
“Don’t say that. I hate it. You’re not going anywhere anytime soon… right?”
My words trailed off a bit, which seemed to make him feel sympathetic as he shook his head with a light smile.
“Course not kid, I’m never leaving.”
“Promise?”
“With every breath.”
“And every heart beat.”
It was something we said, when we promised one another something important; he would say ‘With every breath’ and I’d reply ‘And every heartbeat’. Most would think it was weird, but when you have a dad like mine, you wouldn’t question it. My mother is always bragging to her friends about how great of a husband he is and how good of a father he is.
That’s all completely true though, not once have I ever seen them get into an argument; sure, they would disagree from time to time but nothing serious. There wasn’t a day in our house where someone wasn’t laughing or smiling.
The one thing I loved about getting up before the sun came out? Coffee. My dad made the best coffee ever, well, at least in this house. As I filled our thermos cups up, he came into the kitchen and picked his up.
“Ready to go kid?”
“Really, Dad? You know I am.”
Walking outside, we tossed our gear into the bed of the truck and headed down the road, eager for that first catch of the day. To be honest, I was always doing something that involved being outdoors. Guess you could consider me a tomboy, which my dad didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, but my mom? She was always trying to get me to wear some type of dress when I was younger, but now? Well let’s just say she wouldn’t trade me for the world, neither of them would, and I couldn’t ask for better parents.
“Dad, can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything you want kid.”
There was more truth to that than anyone would ever know, no matter what it was I needed to ask or to talk about, my parents were always there. Though this was something that I had intended on asking last night but, had neglected to do so.
“You and Mom aren’t getting a divorce, right?”
As we sat our tackle down, his face went soft before he shook his head, almost as if he were shocked I asked such a thing.
“Of course not. Why on earth would you think that?”
“I heard you two arguing last night…I just, I thought maybe it was serious.”
“Sera, I love your mother more than I could ever put into words, and you’re old enough to know that sometimes things just happen.”
“I know. It’s just…I don’t think I could ever handle you guys separating.”
As we cast our lines out into the river, there were several long-drawn-out moments of silence; he was trying to find the right words to ease my mind of such worry.
“We never will, we have you to keep us together kid. You’re the glue.”
A smile crossed my lips as I nudged him a bit, we both just had this understanding of one another; we weren’t just father and daughter, we were best friends. Don’t get me wrong, there were times when the two of us argued back and forth. Hell, during those times my mom just let us go, because we are too damn stubborn for our own good. Come to think of it, there never was a time she could get either of us to admit the other was right.
“So, is anyone else going along on this ski trip or just you three girls?”
“Really dad? You know it’s just us girls. Who else would be going?”
“Well, I didn’t know if you maybe had, a special friend.”
“Special friend? If that’s your way of asking me if I have a boyfriend, the answer is no. Honestly, I’m just not interested.”
“Not interested? Don’t get me wrong Serah, I’m glad you don’t have one, just trying to understand what you mean is all.”
“Don’t know. The boys flirt with me a lot, but I usually just ignore them. Besides, ninety percent of the time all they want is sex.”
“You know about sex already?”
“Of course I do, I’m sixteen. Mom and I talked about this already.”
“Huh, she never mentioned that to me!”
“Girl talk, Dad. Let’s just leave it at that.”
There was silence between us but not in a negative way. My father never pushed a conversation further than it needed to go. Truthfully it was funny to see his expression when he went to ask, not only if I was dating but if I was sexually active. Having the sex talk with my dad? Well it would have been a bit awkward. A distant roll of thunder caused us to turn our heads to the sky, before we both gave the other a somewhat annoyed glance.
What started as a few drops of rain had soon turned into a relentless downpour, which sent us running with our tackle to the truck. Both of us were in a fit of laughter as we sat inside the truck, my hands combing back my wet locks as I let out a sigh.
“Wow, that came out of nowhere.”
“Guess I should have checked the weather, sorry kid.”
Shaking my head, I could only offer a smile. In no way was I upset, and the fact he could see that made his own smile form.
“Honestly, I’m not even mad. Besides, it’s just rain. We got to spend time together, that makes me happy.”
A gruff chuckle came from him as he slicked his own hair back and put the truck into drive. See, my dad was always working, but spent time with us when he could. Leaning forward, I clicked on the heat before leaning back into my seat.
“Do me a favor kid and reach back into my tackle and call your mother, and let her know we’re on the way. You know how she gets when the weather turns.”
That was true. Anytime it would rain like this, or snow for that matter, my mother would always have a freak-out if we didn’t check in. But, she worried like that, and it was better to have a mother that worried, than to have one that didn’t care.
“Okay. Maybe we should stop and get some fish from the market, so we don’t come home empty handed.”
My musing to the notion made him laugh. Clicking off my seat belt I reached back into the seat to grab his tackle box and opened it. Digging into the bottom I pulled out his cell and snapped the box back shut, before sitting in my seat again. Placing the phone to my ear, I waited for a few moments, tapping my foot in sync to the barely audible radio.
“Tim? I was getting worried. Are you two alright?”
“We are fine, Mom. Dad and I are actually heading home right now.”
“Thank god. Weather says the storm is going to last into the night.”
Looking at my dad, I sighed, “Mom says the storm is going to last all night.”
Flipping on his signal, he turned down onto the narrows as he continued to drive, mumbling something under his breath that I didn’t quite catch. Rain wasn’t exactly good for business, not when you worked at a lumber yard.
“Ask your mother if we need anything from the market.”
“Dad wants to know if you need anything from town.”
“Just milk and eggs.”
“Milk and eggs, Dad.”
“Alright, tell her we’re in the narrows, and will be home in twenty.”
“We’re in the narrows, be home in twenty.”
“Alright, tell your father to drive safe.”
“Mom says, drive safe.”
My father had raised a brow in question before letting out a laugh. With a shake of his head he just smiled, “I always do, now your mother on the other hand, she tends to…”
A loud bang was heard, my father glancing up to see another car had swerved right into our lane, causing him to veer the truck with a sharp left turn. The cell flew from my hand and hit the truck mats beneath my feet. Fear flooded my eyes, I had forgotten to buckle my belt, which in the moment I knew was too late. My father had lost control of the steering, the front bumper connecting with the guardrail as metal met metal.
“Serah! Hang on!”
His own belt flying off as he moved from his seat to shield my body with his own, hugging me close for protection. I let out an ear-piercing scream as the truck rolled down the steep hill side, metal crushing in against the rocks. Momentum only seemed to pick up as the truck rolled to a stop with a loud crack against a tree, and my world, had turned black. As my eyes slowly peeled open, all I could register was pain. A loud ringing had begun to make itself known in my ears as I tried to grasp the world around me. It was as if everything were moving in slow motion, smoke invading my lungs, causing me to cough.
“Dad…Dad…?” The moment I even tried to move, I felt immense pain only to find a large gash had been made from my shoulder blade down. Blood seeped from an open cut just above my left brow. As I looked across from me, I could see old Bess, laying wheels up, the entire frame smashed inward, the windshield busted out. Flames spat out from the engine as the black smoke continued to rise, and just a few feet from the bed of Bess? My father lay motionless.
“Dad!!!”
My body recoiled with pain as I stood up, faltering to the ground before I found the strength to move again. As I ran to his body, I knelt, shaking him carefully as my tears fell in sync with the rain, the thunder rolling louder.
“Oh god Dad, you have to get up, please. Dad, get up!”
My mind finally registered sirens closing in on us, before tires came to a screeching halt, men rushing over the cliff side to our aid.
“I see them! Down here!”
One of the men had moved to grab me carefully, though I began to thrash a bit, not wanting to leave my father’s side.
“Let go of me! Get off! Get off!”
“Calm down miss, it’s going to be alright, just calm down.”
His arms wrapped around me as he tried to pull me away, a second coming down to help restrain me until I was calm. The metal of the engine began to hiss, before the men realized what was going to happen.
“The trucks going to go! We need to get her out of here!”
They didn’t see my father, he was right there, and they didn’t see him as they pulled me away.
“No! Let go! My dad is there! You have to help him!”
“Get another medic down here now!”
Just as I had gotten pulled away to a safe distance, the truck had exploded, fire pushing outward as a loud crack echoed out. The only thing I could hear was the sound of my own breathing, and barely beating heart as I went limp with fear, staring at the flames.
“She’s in shock, get her to the ambulance now!”
I felt my body being carried away, tears blurring my vision, the pain only spreading more as my body trembled. I could feel the vibration of the engine as I sat on the edge of the ambulance, one of the men shining a light in my eyes. It wasn’t until a familiar red focus pulled up, did I finally snap out of my daze and begin to cry more.
“Mom!”
“Serah! Serah!”
My mother moved past the police blockade and ran over to hold me close as I began to just break down in her arms. She held my face in her hands, fear and worry filled her eyes as she saw the wounds my body held.
“Thank god you’re okay. I could hear you screaming over the phone…your father…where is he? Did they take him to the hospital already? God, what happened?”
“The other car, just, came out of nowhere… My belt was off…Dad…Dad, he held me as we went over… I… he’s gone… Mom… Dad’s gone…”
Her grip became loose just as I looked up to her, but her face, it was a mixture of sadness, and now, anger?
“I told you about not wearing your seatbelt…”
“I know, I know! I’m sorry! Dad wanted me to get his cell to call you! I just forgot to put it on and…”
“Maybe if you hadn’t forgot to put on your seat belt your father would still be alive! He’s gone because of you!”
I don’t know what was worse: the guilt I already felt, or the guilt my mother had just placed upon me with such anger. Shoving her away from me, I fell off the ambulance and regained balance onto my feet and just ran. I had to get my father back, maybe he was okay; maybe he was far enough away from the explosion.
Thunder rolled across the darkened sky as lighting crackled in the distance, striking the ground below with a merciless tone. As the downpour of rain continued, heart thudding against my chest while my sneakers kicked up the muddy puddles around me.
“Serah! Where are you? Can you hear me?” There was no reply to my mother’s voice; I could hear the sadness in her words, breaking my heart all the more.
“Please Serah, come back!” But I didn’t want to go back, how could I go back?
“Serah! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!” But she did mean it, she meant every word she had said, and it made me hate her, no, I hated myself even more because she was right. My left foot caught an uprooted branch as I fell to the ground, my hands twisted to fists as I screamed and letting out a cry of desperation. Men dressed in black and yellow leather jackets began to run towards me, I sat up onto my knees screaming at them
“Go away! Get away from me!” One of the men wrapped their arms around me, pulling me backwards, causing me to thrash wildly
“NO! LET ME GO! I HAVE TO GO BACK! LET ME GO!”
Next thing I knew, I felt a needle go into my right arm, my sudden thrashing had died down to a pitiful push, before I had fallen asleep. Faint beeping had registered in the back of my mind, before my eyes had fluttered open. The way the bright florescent lights reflected of the white walls made me cringe in disgust. But it was the realization of the fact that not only was I in a hospital, but the fact my father was actually dead that made me begin to panic. My heart monitor began to beep faster, as I took in quick breaths.
“Serah, it’s okay…you’re safe now.”
It was my mother, her fingers combed through my hair as her other hand lay on top of my own in a comforting manner. Her eyes were red, no doubt from all the crying she had done, and it made my heart ache all the more.
“I’m so sorry, my little, Vega.”
Vega. She used to call me that all the time when I was a little girl, she used to say it whenever I was scared or sad, and hearing it now, had brought a bit of comfort. I had once asked her as a child what Vega meant. She told me it was the name of a star. I was her little Vega, her little star. But thinking on what she had said earlier, about my father’s death being my fault? It made me angry all over again.
“You were right, you know. It is my fault.”
“No! No it’s not. What I said was wrong. You are alive, I have you, and you and I, we will get through this.”
“Then why say it, if you knew it was wrong?”
“I was, am, hurting. We both lost someone we loved dearly.”
I shrugged away from my mother’s grasp, trying even more to fight back the tears that had begun to form once more. A soft sigh came from her lips before she stood up and moved to close the blinds of my room.
“I need to speak to the police, and the doctors. I will bring you some food from the cafeteria, but you need to rest. I love you.”
Part of me really wished I was the one who had died in the accident, then again, I was afraid to die. I hated my father for leaving us, for leaving me. Was that wrong? Was it wrong to hate him? It didn’t matter, because now, nothing would ever be the same again.