*“You sure you don’t want to come back? We miss you, man. Why don’t you ask Julia if she’d consider moving out here?”
Hell. Cole shook his hand, holding his cell phone to his ear as his best friend Ben Campbell tried to convince him for the tenth time to move back. Convince Julia to move to Silicon Valley? He couldn’t even convince her to live here, with him.
Did he miss working with his friends? Hell, yes. He’d never met a group of more loyal guys. When they’d met in university they’d all come from different places in life. He and Ben were the only two on their dorm room floor that were from the same shitty neighborhood in Toronto. They went way back-all the way to grade school together. There wasn’t another guy in the world he’d trust to have his back more than Ben. Both of them had gotten a full scholarship, and both of them had felt uneasy and inferior that first day at the prestigious school. Then they’d met the guys down the floor who had all gone to the top private schools in the country, but somehow none of them had the stuck-up attitude Cade had expected.
There were nights they’d spent drinking, going home with girls—they’d all had their fair share of fun. But they all knew when to rein it in, because they all wanted success. Not a mediocre kind of success. They’d worked hard core to get what they wanted.
In his last year of his undergrad, he’d met Julia, a first-year student and when she’d gotten pregnant that had derailed all his plans and he’d had to take that short stint out west. But all his buddies had his back and when she wanted nothing to do with him, they’d taken him in, broken and nasty-as-hell, but they hadn’t let him fall. Ben drank with him, let him talk, which wasn’t much, because he didn’t know how to voice his feelings, but most of all his friend looked out for him. He owed him, big time. All of them.
“Julia has her life here, a job, a house. I don’t think she would.”
“Yeah, we kind of thought that. So how’s it going…I mean, how’s she doing?”
“Good question. Fine. I feel like I got her back.” He took a deep breath. “But not for good…hell I don’t know.” He had expected after their night together, Julia would have been ready to start over. Instead, she’d basically told him it was over. He knew she was scared, and it was that fear that gave him hope. If she was afraid it meant she had deep feelings for him. All he needed to do was make it worth it for her to take a risk. He’d wait here for as long as it took. This time, he wasn’t leaving.
He looked out onto the view below him, grateful for the distraction. He was standing on a hilltop, a few miles outside of town. The plot of land was over five acres, the view in the front was long, green grass, and behind him was a lake. It was the nicest piece of property he’d seen around here. The lake was below, blue, and pretty damn beautiful.
“You guys were meant to be. Well, if I believed in that kind of shit, I’d believe that you were meant to be together.” It was funny to hear his friend say that. Ben had never been attached to anyone and he knew none of them would ever truly understand what they’d been through, but they’d been there for him.
“The guys told me to call you. We have another idea, if you’ve got a few minutes.”
He sat down, the earth cold under him and listened to his friend’s plan.
*
Julia adjusted the bouquet of Gerbera daisies, admiring the bright orange and pink colors of the flowers. She sat crossed-legged and brushed off some of the grass and fallen twigs on Sophie’s grave.
Approaching footsteps made her turn. Her father was walking towards her. She shouldn’t be surprised; he’d been her rock these last three years. He often accompanied her here. Her mother was buried beside Sophie and Julia had always taken comfort in that.
“How are you, sweetheart?”
How was she? Confused. Scared. In love. She loved Cade with everything she had. It was a stronger love than even before, but she was terrified of what loving meant. It would force her to move on and take risks. She had lied when she said she didn’t want more children. She did. She wanted another child so desperately her womb physically ached for another baby, but her mind held her back, because her heart was terrified of loving so deeply again. “Cade is back in town,” she said. She knew her father had never been a fan of their relationship.
“I know,” he said, sitting down beside her. “He came to see me.”
“He did?”
Her father nodded. “He’s changed a lot.”
Julia touched the petals on the daisies, thinking about what her father said. “I don’t think he’s changed that much. There was never anything wrong with him. He was always hardworking, loyal, and honest. Cade had never been given opportunities until they all started their company. He hasn’t changed. I’ve changed, maybe you’ve changed. I was the one incapable of dealing with what happened, I’m the one who shut him out.”
If she could go back to those days and change them, she would, but there was no going back and life rarely handed a person second chances, except now she was given a second chance with Cade and she knew she had to take it. If she didn’t, she’d throw away her only chance at happiness. He made her happy; he filled her with hope and love. He got her in a way that no one would, ever. She knew if she let him walk away again, it would be because she was afraid of trying again, afraid of wanting something so badly, achieving it, and then having it ripped from her arms.
“I guess you’re right. I owe him an apology, and you as well.”
She glanced over at her father, noticing the deep frown lines beside his mouth, the worry in his eyes. “I didn’t know what to do when Sophie died, I didn’t know how to be there for you. It killed me to watch you sink further and further into yourself. I blamed Cade. I knew he blamed himself, and I latched onto that, and it was easy to. It was a simple means to an end. I knew you were having problems and I mistakenly thought he was part of the problem. So I told him I thought it’d be best if he left town…and I offered him money, Julia.”
Julia leaned her head back, squinting against the bright blue sky. She hated thinking back to that time, she hated that she and her father had turned against Cade in their own ways. She knew her father had been motivated by love and panic. He’d watched her mother descend into depression, and watching her do the same must have been terrifying.
“He didn’t take the money.”
“I know that. I know him, Dad. I know Cade would never have taken your money and left. He left because I pushed him away repeatedly.”
Her father cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Jules. I should have helped you two work things out together. I should have supported your marriage.”
Julia picked at the grass, as the reality of what her father revealed swam through her. They had treated Cade so unfairly. She knew her father so well. She knew what had motivated him; she knew he would do anything for her if he thought it was for the best. But none of that could justify how he treated Cade. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Her father sat down slowly beside her. “What was I going to say? I wanted you to be happy and I thought if I told you the truth you wouldn’t forgive me. I didn’t want to lose you. I wouldn’t be able to deal with losing you too,” he said, his voice breaking. “I’m so sorry, Julia. I will try to make it up to you, to Cade if you will let me.”
“You know, part of making a life for myself these last three years meant standing on my own two feet. I went from a young adult in university, to wife, to mother and I always depended on someone. You were always there to protect me. Then Cade. But these last few years on my own, I managed to stand on my own two feet, finish my degree, get a job, a house, and rebuild my life. I can’t have you interfere in my life or make decisions for me.”
“You’re right. After your mother died, I promised myself I’d never let you suffer again. I didn’t know what to do. It was too much. I couldn’t handle seeing you in such pain after Sophie died. I was so afraid of losing you, Julia.” Her father’s usually strong voice was now soft, thick with emotion. She was angry with him, but she understood him and his need to protect her.
“I need to know you will never interfere like that again. I need you to promise me that you’ll support Cade and I starting over.”
“I will, of course I will. I only ever wanted you to be happy.”
She reached over to hold her father’s hand, feeling his leathery skin against hers. “You have always been my rock and have always been there for me. You made the wrong call and I understand you were trying to protect me. Just be good to him, Dad. I want to start over again with him, wherever that takes me.”
There was a sheen in her father’s eyes. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “You’ve always been my rock, my reason for hanging on, and I want nothing but happiness for you.”
Julia hugged her father, feeling his strength, feeling his frailty as he held on to her.