Parker
I think it’s safe to say that I’ve spent these last two days in a semi state of shock. I still can’t believe that Becca is pregnant. I think I’ve looked at her ultrasound picture probably a thousand times since she broke the news to me two nights ago. Now that we have a baby in the mix of things I’m struggling with the decisions I’ve made over the last few months in regards to my future.
I don’t even want to think about what my dad is going to say. My mother will probably be happy or simply not care, only because she’ll have drank a handful of dirty martinis by the time I get around to seeing her. She won’t even remember that I’ve told her come the next morning. It’s sad I don’t recognize the woman who use to be on the PTA and was the perfect football mom driving me and my friends to all of our away games when we were younger. Now she’s so far gone I wouldn’t be surprised if at times she forgets she even has a son.
One thing I know for sure is when this baby is born I’m going to do everything opposite of what my parents’ have done. They are the poster children for ‘what not to do when raising your kid’.
Both are so lost in their own little worlds that they couldn’t care less about mine. My father only takes the time to check on my grades and talk to me about my bright future in the political world. He sees me as this project he plans to turn into perfection, instead of looking at me like I wish he would. A son he’s proud of and wishes for me to become successful on my own so that he can truly be proud of me and my accomplishments. Most of all, to actually feel loved by the man I’ve looked up to my entire life.
I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure my child knows he or she is loved. The same with Becca. I won’t be another Christopher MacLaren who goes through wives faster than he goes through cars. I love Becca and want to build a respectable life with her. Number one on my list of goals is build a life for myself with my own money. I don’t want anything handed to me because of who my father is. I want to move up the political ladder all on my own because of my hard word and persistence for perfection in my field.
We’re all hanging out down at the water enjoying our last few hours in Daytona before we all part ways. We spent the last two days out on the boat tubing and wakeboarding. Soaking up as much sun as possible before heading back to Charlotte where the forecast is calling for temperatures in the forties and rain.
What I’ve enjoyed most is being able to spend the last few days Becca and I had left together. We went back to the boardwalk this morning to walk around and get ice cream. It’s a gorgeous day and the perfect way to end another great beach trip with her. We’ve been laying out down by the water with everyone for the last hour or so, but I know with the jet scheduled to head back to Charlotte this evening I need to talk to Becca.
She’s been acting a little off even after finally telling me about the baby. I can’t help but feel like it’s because she somehow knows about Texas and is maybe waiting for me to tell her about it.
I asked her to follow me over to the fishing pier down the beach that is secluded with no one else around. I want to talk to her alone so we have complete privacy as we discuss what we’re going to do now that there’s a baby on the way.
All of our plans we made over the last few months are now gone. In their wake we now need to work on mapping out a new course of action for the life we want together.
With our fingers intertwined we walk side by side along the shore. We aren’t speaking but it’s not an awkward silence, but more of a content silence between us. It’s relaxing listening to the roar of the ocean as the wave’s crash against the sand, and slips pasts our legs before being pulled back out to sea. The sun is hot but the feeling of the cold water repeatedly splashing against our legs makes the temperature comfortable.
“Oh my gosh. Look at those seagulls fighting over that piece of seaweed. They are so scrappy.” She laughs as she watches the two birds bounce and fly around each other as they continue to poke at the seaweed with their beaks.
“They are some pretty crazy birds. When I went to the Bahamas a few summers ago there was one flying around with a chunk of coconut hanging from its beak. He kept landing and trying to peck pieces of coconut out while at the same time fighting off several other birds. It was quite comical. I think it’s safe to say they’ll eat just about anything.”
“Probably how I’ll be once I ever get past this damn morning sickness stage. I still don’t get why they call it morning sickness though since it seems I’m nauseous morning, noon and night.”
“I don’t know how women do it, but I’m sure glad you do or we’d all be extinct.” He jokes as he beams down at me with a sexy smirk playing on his lips.
“I’m nervous, but I think as long as I follow the tips I found online about healthy diets and exercise while pregnant I’ll have an easy pregnancy. I’ll most certainly be getting an epidural for our little peanut’s delivery.”
I bring our entwined fingers up to my mouth, brushing a kiss to her knuckles. “I’m going to try my best to do whatever I can to help make this pregnancy go as smoothly as possible. That’s why I want to talk to you. I want us to figure out what we’re going to do now that you’re pregnant. I know our lives are in two different places right now, but my hope is to find a way to be together. I don’t want to miss out on doctor appointments and even little moments like watching your belly grow as our baby grows inside of you, and big moments like feeling him or her kick for the first time.”
She brings her hand up to her stomach that’s exposed and glowing in the afternoon sunshine that’s hanging high above us in the sky directly above us at the moment. After a week of being out on the beach she has a smooth, sun kissed tanned that makes her face look breathtaking. She doesn’t have a drop of makeup on but right now she looks more beautiful than she ever has before.
Maybe it’s that pregnant glow you hear about all the time?
Her purple highlights are more prominent out in the sunlight making her violet eyes pop as they reflect off of the sparkling ocean water.
Every time I look at her I swear I feel as if my heart is going to implode in my chest and I find myself wondering how I got so damn lucky. She’s everything I’ve wished for and never knew I wanted.
We slow down as we approach the large wooden posts of the pier. There’s muscles attached to the pillars and seaweed is scattered around the sand was the waves roll in and crash hard against the wood that is weathered from the years of wear and tear.
I look around for a secluded spot that’s dry for us to sit on, and then lead us up the sandy hill before plopping down in the sand and motioning for Becca to sit down and rest between my legs.
My fingers slide slowly up and down her bare arms as I bring my cheek to rest against the side of her head. I inhale deeply taking in the scent of her shampoo mixed with the smell of the sunshine and salty air and find my heart rate slowly back down as I try to relax.
“I have something important to tell you about my plans after I graduate from UNC. I know when we talked before my plans were to take the job in D.C. that my dad set up for me. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that I’m tired of my dad doing all the work to get me where I want to be. He’s done it my whole life by using his name, his power that comes with it and his money to get me anything I want or need.”
It makes me sick to my stomach to think that friends I’ve made at school have had to bust their asses to earn scholarships to pay for college. They’re applying for internships all over the country praying they’ll get a yes from at least one of them.
The average college kid busts their ass and gets let down multiple times before they finally get that ‘yes’ they’ve worked so hard to earn. To them it means everything because they put forth their own effort to achieve their dreams and accomplish their goals.
I want to feel that—experience that high you get when you know you pour your heart and soul into something and receive the ultimate reward in return. Not to say I wouldn’t love a job in a Politician’s office to get that hands on experience, and then have my dad snap his fingers and hand me my job on a silver platter.
“That’s understandable, Parker. But also you shouldn’t feel bad because your father is using his connections to help you. I know to you it may make you feel like you don’t deserve it, but I think these people are smart enough, and business savvy enough to understand they can only bring people onto their team who’s deserving of the position. Now that we have this baby on the way,” she says glancing down at her stomach and pressing her hands over mine she continues, “I think you’d do the same for our child. You’d move heaven and earth to help them achieve their dreams.”
She’s made some good points, but it doesn’t change how I feel. My father may love me, but it’s not in the way a child needs. He loves the idea of me. The perfect son he wants to have standing by his side as he runs for President of the United States. I don’t want to be portrayed as something I don’t feel I am. I’d feel like nothing more than a fraud. Pretending to be someone people should respect and look up to when the reality of it is I’d be just another rich kid who got to where he is because of his father’s influence and money.
“I want to support you and this baby on money I earn myself. Not with money that came from my father. So I’ve made the decision to enlist in the military. I got my paperwork for boot camp in San Antonio, Texas. I leave at the end of June.”
Becca stiffens against me as my words hit her. “Oh. Wow. That is really soon. So it’s a done deal then? You’re officially in the Air Force now?”
Hearing the words Air Force leave her lips, my suspicions are confirmed.
She already knows.