Seven

Olina had been in Minnesota for three weeks. The Nilsson family planned a party to introduce her to the neighbors. Olina dreaded that celebration. She didn’t know how she could face all the people when they found out that she had come to America to marry Lars. Maybe if she had a headache or stomachache or something, she wouldn’t have to go. Everyone else could enjoy the gathering whether she was there or not. Then she found out that the doctor was coming. If she pretended to be sick, Mrs. Nilsson would have him look at her. He would surely know that nothing was wrong with her.

Things had gotten better since the day she and Gerda had the picnic. Maybe she could make it through the party. If things got tough, she could remember how Gustaf looked when he jumped into the water, the way the cool stream had darkened his white blond hair to a honey color. But that memory also recalled his broad muscular chest liberally sprinkled with blond hairs. With that picture came feelings that Olina didn’t understand, a tightness deep within her that she had never felt before. It made her feel breathless. She had to remind herself that she didn’t trust men. Besides, Gustaf was promised to Anna, wasn’t he?

At least the party would bring one good thing. She would finally get to see this Anna. What would she look like? She wondered if Anna was prettier than she was. What did it matter? She didn’t mean anything special to Gustaf, and he wasn’t special to her. Was he?

❧

The schoolhouse looked festive when Olina and Gerda walked in. Whenever there was a party, the whole farming community helped. Chains made from colored paper draped around the rafters, and lanterns hung on hooks all around the walls. The young women were drawn toward long tables made from lumber laid across sawhorses and covered with tablecloths in various colors. Holding down the cloths were fancy dishes containing all kinds of goodies. Everyone must have brought their most cherished glass plates and bowls. Cakes and pastries took up half of one table.

Olina loved pastry, especially munk. The fried pieces of slightly sweet dough were especially good when they were rolled in sugar as soon as they came from the kettle. She could even see that one plate held äppelmunk, tasty doughnuts filled with apples and cinnamon before they were fried. She couldn’t identify all of the kinds of cake, but she did see gräddbakelse. This cream cake was a favorite of hers. Olina knew she would have to be careful not to eat too much or she would look just as she had when she first went to live with Tant Olga.

Every one of the neighbor women had fixed several of their best recipes for the party. Olina decided that a large crowd must be coming to eat that much food.

“How many people will be here tonight?” she asked Gerda as they hung their shawls on two of the empty hooks on the wall near the door.

Turning around, Gerda looked across the group that already filled the room. “Everyone is here.” Then she looked again. “But I don’t see Anna. The Jensons are late as usual. I think Anna likes to make an entrance.”

The two friends walked over to the table where Mrs. Nilsson was pouring apple cider into a variety of cups. “Here, Olina.” Gerda handed her a cup before she took one for herself. “Mrs. Swenson, Merta’s mother-in-law, makes the best cider.”

Just as Olina reached for the proffered beverage, a large family came through the door accompanied by a lot of noise.

“There are the Jensons.” Gerda took a slow sip of cider. “The one with the dark hair is Anna.”

Olina was surprised. Anna Jenson was pretty enough, with bright eyes and a smiling face, but she stood tall and sturdy. Olina could tell by looking at her that she was a hard worker and strong. Her upswept hair braided and looped into a figure-eight bun low on the back of her head. Her laugh, though infectious, was a little too loud.

Olina looked around for Gustaf. She was surprised that he hadn’t gone to greet his intended. If Olina were promised to someone, she would want him by her side at a party, especially one given to introduce a new girl to the community. Now why was she thinking about that? It didn’t matter to her what kind of relationship Anna and Gustaf had, did it?

The night was a great success. Olina enjoyed meeting the neighbors, and they welcomed her with open arms. Some of the neighbors had emigrated from the same area where she had lived in Sweden. She renewed acquaintances with them. After inquiring about her family, they moved on to asking her how she liked Minnesota. No one wondered why she came, so she soon relaxed and enjoyed herself, pushing to the back of her mind and heart the fact that she was still hurting. She needed to get on with her life. Maybe soon her visit would be over, after her reply from her father arrived.

❧

When Anna and her family came in the door, Gustaf started to go to her, but his attention was drawn to Olina, where she stood by Gerda, drinking cider. He couldn’t keep from comparing the two women.

Anna was familiar and comfortable. Olina caused something inside Gustaf to tug his heart. The last week or so, their friendship had grown, and he liked that. But would a man who intended to marry one woman develop such a strong friendship with another? Of course not. He knew he couldn’t pursue the feelings Olina caused until he talked to Anna. He would wait until the end of the evening and ask if he could drive her home. Gustaf didn’t want her hurt at the party, and what he needed to say to her would be upsetting. He knew that if he loved her as a husband should love his wife, he wouldn’t be so interested in Olina. Anna deserved more than that from the man she would marry.

❧

During the evening, Gerda or her mother made sure Olina met everyone in attendance. When the dancing started, accompanied by a fiddle and an accordion, playing some American music and some Scandinavian music, Olina was never without a partner. All the young men, and even some of the older men, asked her to dance. All the men except Gustaf.

That Gustaf didn’t dance with her shouldn’t have mattered, but it did. Why did he stay so far away from her? Olina watched him covertly all through the evening. He didn’t dance with Anna any more often than he did with the other young women. Maybe Gerda was wrong. Maybe there wasn’t an understanding between them. And what difference did that make to her? Nothing. Not any difference at all.

However, several hours later while the women were gathering up their nearly empty dishes, Olina noticed Gustaf talking earnestly with Anna. Anna stood smiling up at him. Although Anna was a tall woman, he was several inches taller. After a moment, they walked together to the hooks along the back wall. Gustaf took a long blue cape off one hook and draped it around Anna’s shoulders. Then they left together.

A dull ache started in Olina’s heart. Trying to hide it, she helped Mrs. Nilsson gather up all the things they had brought.

“Where is a broom?” Olina asked as she put the last tablecloth in the basket. “I’ll sweep the floor. Most everyone is gone.”

“Oh no, you won’t.” Gerda took the basket from her hands and started out the door to take it to the wagon. “You were the guest of honor. You won’t be cleaning up,” she called back over her shoulder.

“It’s all right.” Mrs. Nilsson was standing beside Olina now. “Tomorrow Gerda and Merta will come and clean up the schoolhouse. No one wants to stay tonight, and they already planned to do it that way.”

Olina allowed herself to be led out of the warm building into the cold of a spring midnight in Minnesota. Stars twinkled in the clear inky sky above. Shivering, she pulled her woolen shawl tighter around her and threw the loose end across her shoulder. She had done a good job of not thinking about Lars, but for a moment, she couldn’t stop thinking how good it would feel to have his arms around her to help keep out the cold. She imagined glancing up into his gray eyes, but instead the eyes she saw in her mind were glittering, icy blue.

❧

Anna smiled up at Gustaf. “I missed you while you were on your trip to New York. I’ve been surprised that you haven’t come over since you returned. You’ve been back three weeks, haven’t you?”

Gustaf’s nod was accompanied by a grunt of assent.

“I suppose you’ve been busy catching up with the things that didn’t get done while you were gone.”

“That’s right.” Gustaf steered her toward the door. “I’m glad you wore this cape. It’ll be warm on the ride home.” Gustaf was trying to change the subject, but this was not a good subject to change to.

“Well, you could keep me warm,” Anna purred in a voice unlike her usual clear one.

It was a good thing Gustaf was walking behind her. She couldn’t see him gritting his teeth. How was he going to do this without hurting her too much? Even though the cold air caressed them as they walked to the buggy, Gustaf was beginning to sweat. This night was going to end in disaster. It wouldn’t end well for him and not for Anna, either.

After helping Anna into the buggy, Gustaf walked around in front of the horses, giving them an encouraging pat as he passed. When he climbed up on the seat, he noticed that Anna was sitting closer to the middle than the side. Gustaf didn’t want to sit so close to her.

He didn’t want her upset the whole way home. It would take about half an hour to get to the Jenson farm. He would wait until they were within sight of the farmhouse to talk to her.

As they drove along, Anna kept up a steady stream of chatter. Gustaf wasn’t sure what she was talking about because he was trying to think how to say what he needed to say with the least amount of hurt. He hoped his occasional comments of yes, right, and interesting were appropriate and at the right time.

When they were still about a mile from the Jenson farmhouse, Anna broke through his thoughts. “All right, Gustaf.” Her voice was louder and harsher than it had been on the rest of the trip. “Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

Gustaf pulled the team off the road and parked under a tree. He tied the reins to the front of the buggy and sat there a minute. Then he turned to look at Anna in the dark shadows. Her luminous eyes sparkled through the darkness. “What makes you think something’s the matter?” It was a stupid question. They had spent enough time together for her to read his moods.

“I’ve been carrying on a one-sided conversation all the way home. You haven’t heard a single word I’ve said.” Anna sat with her arms crossed defiantly across her chest.

Gustaf wanted to deny her allegation, but then thought better of it. “You’re right. My thoughts have been engaged otherwise.”

“And who has engaged your thoughts?”

Gustaf was amazed that her question had cut straight to the root of the problem, but he didn’t want to tell her that right now.

Sensing his hesitation, Anna continued, “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“Anna.” Gustaf tried to take her hand in his, but she pulled stiffly to the far end of the buggy seat. He was afraid if he reached for her again, she might tumble off into the dirt. He didn’t want that.

“I’ve been thinking about our relationship.” Gustaf stopped and cleared his throat, trying to dislodge the large lump that had taken up residence there.

“And?” Anna wasn’t going to make this any easier.

“And. . .” Gustaf tried again. “And I think. . .maybe. . .we shouldn’t spend so much time together.”

“Is there someone else?” Anna’s bitter question surprised Gustaf.

“What kind of man do you think I am?” he asked in anger.

“I don’t know what kind of man you are.” Anna shivered, but she pulled even farther away from him, if that was possible. “I thought—” Anna stopped to swallow a sob. “I thought we had something. You’ve been calling on me for some time now.”

An owl hooted in a nearby tree, and the wind picked up, swishing the branches above their heads.

“Well. . .I have been.” That lump had grown to be a boulder. “Calling on you, I mean.” Why did this have to be so hard to say? “I’m not sure we’re supposed to be together for life.”

Even in the dark, he could see Anna glare at him. “What is that supposed to mean?” Her tone was harder and more brittle. “I thought you were going to ask me to marry you tonight.” Anna ended on a sob, and Gustaf could see the tears glistening on her cheeks, making trails that she didn’t wipe off.

It felt as if there were a dagger in his heart. He reached out to her, but hesitated when he saw her expression. Gustaf pulled his big white handkerchief from his back pocket and handed it to her, knowing she wouldn’t want him touching her right now. As she mopped her tears away, they were replaced by others.

“I know that’s what you thought, and that makes this even harder.” Gustaf tried to sound gentle, but he didn’t. The words sounded harsh to his own ears. “You’re important to me, but I know I don’t love you the way you should be loved by your future husband. You deserve better than that. Can’t we remain friends?”

“And are we friends right now?” Anna’s question was forced from between stiff lips. “Is friendship what we have had all this time? Nothing more?”

Gustaf bowed his head and covered his face with both hands. Could the evening get any worse? “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you.” He wasn’t even sure Anna heard his muffled words, so he looked up, dropping his hands into his lap.

“Would you please take me home now?”

Gustaf untied the reins and clucked to the waiting horses. Ominous silence accompanied them the last mile to the farmhouse, covering them in an oppressive blanket. When the buggy stopped, Anna didn’t wait for Gustaf to help her down. Instead, she scrambled over the wheel, almost falling in her haste.

“Wait, Anna. I’ll help you.” He tried to follow her.

“Don’t bother,” she yelled back over her shoulder and ran into the house.

Gustaf hoped some day she would speak to him again.