The cat had found a spot in the sunshine, and with impassive eyes watched as Nora washed the supper dishes. It was a relief to have something practical to do. On the shiny surface of a plate she caught a passing glimpse of her reflection. She shut her eyes and abruptly dunked the plate back into the suds. She suddenly realized that she wanted to get away from the Molloys, to talk about something else, anything other than the Molloys.
She hit on an idea. “Tell me about Sheila, Peg. What did she do with herself? Did she finish school?” Nora spoke over her shoulder as she lifted the plate out of the water and set it on the dish rack.
“Indeed she did. Sheila’s a nurse. It was all she ever wanted growin’ up, to go to one of them big hospitals in St. John’s to be trained.”
“Really! You must have been delighted. Was Matt pleased?” Too late she realized her mistake.
“Pleased? Of course he was pleased.” A sharp note like the ping from a tuning fork sounded above the clatter of dish washing. Nora stopped what she was doing and looked over her shoulder. Peg was sitting in the same spot, her hands clenched tightly in front of her mouth. She refused to look across at Nora.
“It’s always the same,” she said finally, sounding peeved. “People always quick to think the worst of him, always seein’ him as ‘the selfish ole bugger who only looks out for hisself.’”
There was a loud clatter as a dish was placed randomly on the rack.
“I heard those very words spoken,” Peg said indignantly. “But I knew better. I knew it wasn’t hisself he was thinkin’ of then. He was thinkin’ of me. He wanted what was best for me.”
Nora moved quickly. Wiping her hands against the cloth of her dress, she hurried across the floor and eased herself onto the chair alongside of Peg. She rubbed her damp hand once more along her thigh and then gently placed it on Peg’s rigid arm. She felt a long quiver, like the fluttering of a frightened bird. It was followed by another. Nora stroked the wrinkled arm, momentarily surprised by the warmth and life that still ran in the slack aging flesh.
“It was a comfort to think that someone was lookin’ out for me.” The cat silently got to its feet and in an effortless leap was on Peg’s lap. Peg began to stroke its soft fur lovingly. “I was frightened, that’s all, afraid for the first time in my life of being alone.”
Nora was at a loss; her glib comment had obviously touched a nerve, but there was something else going on and she had no idea what it was. She was about to say she was sorry once again but changed her mind at the last moment and instead asked, “Why were you frightened?”
The hand stroking the cat became still for a moment and Peg’s mouth began to work furiously in that funny little way she had when having difficulty voicing her thoughts. She began to pet the cat again. “Matt wasn’t hisself when he come back that last time. He’d been gone quite the while and had gone away to nothin’. He wasn’t altogether right in the head either. Tell truth, I don’t know how he found his way back to the island and he never did say, but he was dyin’, inside and out, by the time he got to my door. I took him in of course and cared for him. By and by, he come around and things were like they’d been before but it was a struggle just the same.” She took another deep breath. “By then, Sheila had finished school and was makin’ ready to go off to St. John’s. Everything was the finest kind, until I was taken sick with consumption. TB they call it now.” The stroking stopped again momentarily.
“I was only fifty-five years old the first time the TB boat came to the island. Those days it used to come in the bays and coves all around the coast, to test the people.” She turned to stare out of the window. “It was a grand sight first time she come around the headland, the bull horn blastin’ away, the coloured banners snappin’ in the breeze. Once she was tied up to the wharf the music started up and ‘Mocking Bird Hill’ came singin’ out over the microphone. It was like a garden party. I remember everyone runnin’ down to the water to see what all the excitement was about. We were all invited on board to be tested. Nothin’ to it, we were told, just a little scratch on your arm and that was it. ‘The scratches,’ we used call it after that. All true, but here ten days later, I gets a slip saying the test on me was positive and that the boat would be by again in two weeks to do a chest x-ray.
“I wasn’t so happy next time the boat came about. Turned out the rotten part was lodged there in my right lung this while and I was to go to the hospital in St. John’s for treatment. I told the doctor I felt just fine but he said that was the way sometimes. If I didn’t get treated, in a few months’ time, I’d be in hard shape. Worse still, I could pass it on to Sheila and others. Well that was it.” She pushed back a wisp of hair from her forehead. “One day I was best kind, next I was sick and lookin’ at going to the hospital for a spell. What was I to do? Up until then, I don’t believe Matt had ever interfered in my life, but what he had in mind for me and Sheila that time got me right upset.”
Furious with what Sheila had told her, Peg came barrelling down over the stairs calling out Matt’s name. Sheila passed her in the hallway in tears as she ran out the door. She found him at the table reading the newspaper.
“I hear you’ve been tellin’ Sheila what she must do and what she mustn’t do.”
“Yes, that’s right. I pointed out to her that she’ll need to be around to take care of you when you get back from the hospital. It’s her duty. She can’t be going off and leaving you now. You don’t know what that disease can do to you. You–”
“I don’t know, don’t I? I suppose you think I just rolled up on the beach with the last lot of caplin. Well, I’ll have you know something, Matt Molloy. I’ve been livin’ about these parts all my life and I’ve seen life come and go, watched strong men hackin’ and coughin’ their way to the grave, seen little children come to nothin’ but skin and bones, their faces blue from tryin’ to catch a mouthful of air, and you tell me I don’t know. Oh yes, I knows all right. I knows lots of things, Matt Molloy, things you’ll never know nothin’ about. And there’s something else I knows for certain. Sheila will have her chance to do as she pleases with her life and there’s nothin’ or nobody’s goin’ gettin’ in her way. You may think that child owes me somethin’ for raisin’ her up, but that’s not how I sees it. What I did back then was out of love for her mother, my own sister, and now it’s for love of Sheila herself, but then again I don’t expect you to understand the like of that. So don’t you go tellin’ me what I must do? I knows what to do.”
He had begun to move away from her fury, folding the newspaper and carefully placing it under his arm. “You’ll learn,” he said from the doorway before climbing the stairs to his room.
“My dear, after that spat, I was that upset I didn’t know what I was doin’ or sayin’ no more, but one thing I was certain of, Sheila would have her chance in life. I was goin’ to see to that, no matter what. On that day, Nora, at that moment, I valued my independence more than I’d ever done in my whole life.”
A shadow fell across the kitchen and made them both look up. The sun had slipped behind a cloud. Dark murky fingers reached silently across the grey expanse of water, while on the far headland, dramatic tonal patterns merged on the sculptured blackness of the trees. A momentary stillness hung on the air and then abruptly, as if giving a signal to continue, the sun reappeared from behind the clouds and the evening continued its silent progress.
Peg cleared her throat as she tried to reclaim her story. “Anyway, when the dust settled I was glad I spoke up. It lifted my spirits, made me feel stronger and in control again. It had cleared the air, and after that I knew in my heart that somehow everything would work out.”
“Sheila was happy to go along with your decision?”
“It took a bit of time. She had come to believe Matt was right and that she should stay home, but I told her it would be a comfort to me to have her close by when I was to the hospital in St. John’s, and being a nurse in trainin’, she’d be able to deal with the doctors and all. Anyways she finally agreed. Little did I know that before I ever saw the island again, Sheila would have her trainin’ done and have met her young man and be gone for good.”
“You were gone for a long time then?”
“Yes, girl, several years. I never expected that. Anyway, me insistin’ Sheila go away for her trainin’ put Matt in a difficult spot. After our words he kept to hisself a bit more. I could see he was doin’ a lot of thinkin’. It was comin’ up time for us to leave and I was busy with preparations.”
The folded laundry lay in neat piles on the table. Matt came in from the yard, hung his hat on the nail behind the door, and stood for a moment to take in the scene.
“Sheila and me, you know, Matt, we’re off in a couple of days. What are you plannin’ on doin’ with yourself?”
“I don’t know but I’ll see you safely to St. John’s to begin with. If you wish, that is.”
She looked up from what she was doing, surprised and delighted. “That’s kind of you, Matt, to think of that, being as neither one of us has ever been off the island. That would be a wonderful help.”
He sat to the table, resting his arms between the piles of laundry, his hands tightly clasped, and began twirling his thumbs round and round in maddening circles. From the corner of her eye Peg watched the action, recalling how, on his first night in the house, she had watched, fascinated, as his long thin fingers had worked the same crazy rhythm. Time and again since then, she had observed the same action, circling, circling, forwards, backwards, going nowhere. Sometimes it would drive her crazy and other times it would bring out a certain fondness, a desire to soothe and comfort. Now she wanted him to stop. She decided to try again.
“Matt, there’s something I’ve been meanin’ to say to you.” She wanted him to look at her. “Matt,” she began again, edging forward in her chair. She could hear the faint rush of his breath between his teeth. A pulse throbbed at his temple. “I’d like for you to bide in the house while I’m gone.”
“That won’t be necessary.” The reply was there, ready on the tip of his tongue. “I’ll be on my way as soon as I get you settled in St John’s.” He made a move to get up.
She placed a hand on his arm. “Matt, sit down a minute and listen to what I have to say. I’m asking you to help me.” Her words set up a barrier blocking his way. “When I’m lyin’ in that hospital bed in St. John’s,” she persisted, “I want to be able to think of this house as being warm and lived in, with the smell of food cookin’ on the stove and a light in the window. I want to come back to a home, not a house. It would be a great comfort if you could stay on and do that for me.”
“I don’t know anything about things like that, Peg. I–”
“Maybe it’s time you learned about things like that,” she said with a firm but gentle air of finality.
“There’s always Pat,” he began.
“I’m asking you,Matt.” With that she rose from the chair and left him to make his decision.
“It was the end of the line for me, Nora. I had to look out for myself and if he wasn’t prepared to help me, then that was it. He could take off if he wanted. I didn’t care no more.”
A loud knock on the door made them both jump. A voice called out, “Anybody home?” Gerry Quinlan stood in the doorway of the kitchen. It was then Nora realized that the sun had disappeared altogether and that they were sitting in the semi-darkness, oblivious to the world outside.
“Not a stir in the house,” he said, “and the two of you sittin’ in the dark.” He took the chair at the other end of the table. “Is this Irish woman leading you astray by any chance?”
“More like me leadin’ her astray. My Lord, what time is it at all? It’s almost dark.”
He glanced at his watch. “Going for nine o’clock.”
“Imagine, the day slipped away and we never noticed. Sit down, Gerry. Fetch yourself a glass and we’ll have a drink.”
“I thought you’d both be above to the supper and dance tonight.”
“My blessed Lord, I forgot all about it and I’m supposed to take a plate tart for the supper. You go on, Nora girl, you’ll enjoy the dance. Gerry will take you along. Won’t you, Gerry?”
“Not without you. We don’t want tongues waggin’ now, do we?” He winked at Nora.
“Go on with you now, you knows I’m too old for that racket.” She scratched her head aggressively as if to shake it clear of such nonsense.
“Maybe you are, but now Aunt Josie Nash from St. Brides is above and is askin’ about you, and Treese is about too.”
Peg thought for a moment. “Well, all right. Maybe I’ll stir myself. This time next year I might be pushin’ up clover to the churchyard and then I’ll be right poisoned with myself.”