BY THE TIME I WALKED TO THE STABLE FOR my first YENT lesson, I was exhausted. I’d spent my lunch period in the bathroom, sitting in a locked stall and working on homework. I’d been too nervous about seeing Jacob at lunch to go. Thankfully, Callie had bought my excuse that I had to run to the admin office before my next class.
I passed Black Jack’s stall at the stable. Callie’s Morab gelding was snoozing in the back of his stall. I stopped and looked at him. Charm and I had both lost a teammate.
Jack walked up to me and put his head over the stall door. I scratched under his forelock, then rubbed his cheek. I’d never be able to make it up to Callie for what had happened. It wasn’t my fault that Jacob had started liking me again, I knew that, but I still felt bad. If Jacob hadn’t been acting so weird, maybe Callie and I would be grooming our horses for practice right now. I’d never had a lesson without Callie.
Ever.
“See you later, boy,” I told Jack. I left him, grabbed Charm’s tack, and went to his stall.
“Hi, guy,” I said to him.
I led him out and started grooming him in the crossties. My mind had just begun to wander when I heard hoofbeats clattering down the aisle. I looked up from brushing Charm’s flank and Heather was glaring at me, holding a tacked-up Aristocrat.
“Do you think Mr. Conner will wait for you to show up, or what?” Heather asked.
“What?” I checked the giant wall clock near the grain room. “Omigod! We have to be there in two minutes! I totally spaced.”
I dropped Charm’s body brush and scrambled to grab his tack from on top of the trunk in front of his stall.
“Obvi,” Heather said. She looked over her shoulder, then let go of Aristocrat’s reins. “Give me Charm’s bridle.” She held out her hand to me.
I tried to keep my mouth from falling open. “Thanks.”
“Oh, don’t look at me like that. I’ll deny it if you ever tell anyone I helped you. And I’m only doing it because I don’t want the real Canterwood riders to ever look bad. No matter what Mr. Conner says, Jas is not part of our team.”
I didn’t dare argue with her. Heather and Jas would never stop hating each other. No matter how long Jasmine was at Canterwood, Heather would always see her as an outsider.
Heather bridled Charm while I saddled him. I put on my helmet and we led both horses toward the exit.
“Really, thanks,” I said.
Heather rolled her eyes and walked faster. “You can stop talking to me now.”
I laughed under my breath and stopped Charm a few feet out of the stable. The sun hid behind fat, puffy clouds and a slight breeze tugged at Charm’s mane. Heather and I mounted and let the horses walk toward the arena.
At the far end, Jasmine warmed up Phoenix. The gray gelding, sweating in the heat, moved perfectly under Jasmine. They looked even better than they had at YENT camp. I let Charm into a slow trot, forcing myself to focus and not worry about Jasmine and Heather.
But I couldn’t stop sneaking glances at them. My old insecurities about my riding abilities had hit me full force at YENT camp this summer. I’d felt alone without Callie in the arena. That anxiety was hitting me again and making my chest feel white-hot with panic.
Charm jerked his head and sidestepped. I pressed my right boot into him and moved him back to the arena wall. “Cool it,” I murmured to him. He strained against the reins, wanting to trot faster. I held him back and didn’t let him out. This was just a warm-up.
Mr. Conner walked into the arena and motioned for us to line up in front of him. I angled Charm between Aristocrat and Phoenix.
“Hi, girls,” he said. “I don’t want to waste time talking since you know how my lessons work.”
Charm, mouthing the bit, fidgeted and sidestepped—again—causing my boot to bump against Heather’s.
“Sorry!” I said. My face, already flushed from the heat, turned what I was sure about five different shades of red as I sat deeper in the saddle and tried to quiet Charm with my hands.
“Go ahead and move out to the wall at a walk,” Mr. Conner said.
Jasmine, Heather, and I turned the horses away from Mr. Conner.
“Wow, Sasha,” Jasmine said, lowering her voice. “You benefitted so much from YENT camp—it’s just ridic. I’m jealous.”
I ignored her and tried to look as if I didn’t care.
But I did. And Jas knew it.
“Starting today,” Mr. Conner called. “I’m going to be treating some of the lessons as equitation practices.”
I didn’t know whether to cheer or freak out.
“Remember that for equitation,” Mr. Conner continued. “My focus is on you, not your horse. I will be watching your hands, seats, and legs, and will comment on your horse only if he exhibits extraordinarily bad behavior.”
The good: Mr. Conner wouldn’t hold it against me that Charm was a little off today.
The bad: My focus was on controlling Charm and not on my posture.
I took a breath, trying to relax. Charm was feeling my tension—that was usually the only reason why he ever acted up.
“Sitting trot,” Mr. Conner said.
Charm bounded forward from a light tap of my heels. He jerked on my hands and I fought to regain my posture before Mr. Conner saw.
“Sasha,” he called out. “Your body needs to be just a few degrees in front of vertical. Sit back a little.”
I pushed my shoulders back, knowing I looked stiff instead of relaxed like Mr. Conner wanted, but I couldn’t focus on myself when I had to concentrate on Charm, too.
“Halt,” Mr. Conner instructed.
Within a few strides, we’d brought our horses to smooth stops.
“Back up five strides,” Mr. Conner said.
We did and Charm snuck his muzzle in the air instead of tucking his chin. Phoenix and Aristocrat backed up without hesitation. I chewed on the inside of my lip, trying not to cry. My first lesson on the Canterwood YENT was a disaster.
“Halt, then move into a trot for a lap,” Mr. Conner said.
We stopped our horses, then urged them into trots. Charm mouthed the bit—playing with it with his tongue. His ears pointed forward and he didn’t pay attention to me. I closed my fingers around the reins, trying to get his focus. He flicked an ear back at me, then pointed them forward again.
“Canter,” Mr. Conner said.
Charm shot forward—taking Mr. Conner’s command as a verbal cue. Charm pulled me forward and the reins slipped through my fingers.
“Sasha, watch your shoulders,” Mr. Conner called. “Pull Charm back to a trot, then tell him to canter. He should not have started on my cue instead of yours.”
My face burned.
I slowed Charm to a trot and he shook his head, tossing his mane. I held him back as he watched Aristocrat and Phoenix canter ahead of him. Charm hated it when other horses were moving faster in front of him. But I didn’t give in—I made him trot even though he swished his tail hard from side to side. After a few more strides, he started to settle and respond to me. I relaxed my fingers on the reins and gave him more. He broke into an even canter and I tried to shake off my nerves.
By the end of class, my arms were sore from fighting with Charm and I was exhausted from worrying about how I looked next to Heather and Jasmine. My T-shirt was soaked from sweat, and strands of hair that had escaped from my ponytail were plastered to the back of my neck.
“Good work, girls,” Mr. Conner said. “Take extra time to care for your horses because of the heat—make sure you give them small sips of water while you cool them out. See you tomorrow.”
We dismounted and I walked Charm in front of Heather and Jas. We got inside the stable and I walked him up and down the side aisle, both of us still sweating.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to him. “That was my fault—not yours.”
Charm rubbed his cheek against my arm and turned his head to look at me. He was trying to tell me something. I hugged his neck. “You’re right—I wasn’t alone in the arena. I’ve got you, boy.”
It took over half an hour of walking before he was cool. I led him to the wash stall and rinsed the dried-up sweat from his coat. Charm sighed happily as the cool water ran over his back. After he was clean, I dried him with a couple of towels, then put him in his stall.
I started out of the stable and groaned to myself when I saw Rachel carrying a water bucket down the aisle. The seventh grader had an obvious crush on Eric and she wasn’t shy about showing it. She was petite with light brown hair and natural reddish highlights. I noticed she’d switched from glasses to contacts over the summer.
“Good summer?” Rachel asked, stopping in the aisle. She looked perfect—not at all sweaty in the heat.
“Awesome. You?”
“Pretty cool. I went on an overnight trail ride with my friends. Sleeping outside kinda sucked, but the rest was fun.” Rachel shifted the green bucket from one hand to the other. “Bet it was hard to be separated from Eric all summer. And now you guys don’t even have lessons together anymore.” She stuck out her bottom lip.
I shrugged. “It’s cool. We iChatted all summer and now we can see each other whenever we want.”
Rachel smiled. “Oooh, good. Mr. Conner said the intermediate team could watch an advanced lesson once a week and everyone’s, like, so excited to go.”
You are because you get to watch my boyfriend! I thought. But I kept a nonchalant expression on my face. I still couldn’t forget that I’d overheard Rachel and her friends talking last spring about how hot Eric was.
“That’s great. I’m sure you’ll learn a lot.”
I walked away from her, glad that I’d been cool. I had no reason to worry about Eric. Rachel could go to every one of Eric’s lessons if she wanted—he’d never be interested in her.