A Handful of Ashes

While the ship Marcus had boarded was spreading her sails to the wind at the start of her long journey, others of his acquaintance were attending the theatre in London.

Pansy, who was attending a matinée performance at the Royal Pantheon in the Strand in the company of Aunt Prudence and Justina Parsons, wished she was anywhere but here. Despite the superior ventilation system the theatre owners prided themselves on, the place was stuffy and it smelled of stale smoke. She’d developed quite a headache.

Justina prattled incessantly, seemingly torn apart by nerves in the presence of the countess. As well she might be. Aunt Prudence was easily irritated today and snapped at the unfortunate young woman, ‘Do be quiet, girl.’

Justina blushed and gazed down at her hands, embarrassed by the reprimand. Pansy felt sorry for her.

Prudence turn her censorious gaze upon Pansy, who was able to cope with it more easily, since it was something she’d grown up with. ‘Alder has asked his father to purchase him a commission in the army.’

‘Alder told me. He’ll make a good soldier and the discipline will be good for him.’

‘Discipline!’ Prudence said on an ominously up-sliding note. Pansy hoped her aunt was not about to make a scene, not here in the theatre. If so, she would just get up and walk out.

‘Alder would look awfully dashing in a uniform,’ Justina twittered, and was immediately quelled by a look from Prudence.

‘Don’t be so ridiculous. How can a man look awful and dashing at the same time? I am having a conversation with my niece, kindly don’t offer your opinion unless it is asked for.’ Prudence turned Pansy’s way again. ‘It’s all your doing, Pansy. Alder has quite given up hope of winning your hand in marriage.’

‘I’ll say this for you, you’re a determined young lady, one with more backbone than your poor, doomed sister ever had. You remind me of myself at your age, though I had more sense than to turn down a good offer when I saw one.’

As the orchestra began its overture, Prudence turned again to Justina. ‘I suppose you’d be willing to accept an offer from Alder. After all, he is the son of an earl.’

An excited little yelp came from Justina and she began to jiggle on her seat, like a puppy about to wet itself.

‘Seeing as my ungrateful niece won’t have him, I might as well tell Alder’s father to advise him on an alternative match. Someone must bear his children, and your money will be compensation for him. You do admire him, I suppose?’

The stage curtains were drawn aside to reveal a purple-gowned woman in a tragic pose, the back of her hand reclining limply against her forehead. ‘I have lost my true love to another,’ the actress said and moved her hand to her bosom as she paused to gaze dramatically at the audience.

There were a variety of acts presented, songs, monologues and scenes from plays. During one of the intervals Pansy happened to notice a familiar face in the hall below. Miss Edgar with Daisy? And wasn’t that Josh with his business partner next to them? She hadn’t known Josh was in London. Her heart gave a series of rather alarming thumps. How handsome he was now.

Making sure her aunt was fully absorbed by the dramatics, for apart from Marcus Ibsen Pansy had told nobody of her tender feelings towards Josh, though she’d thought of him often since they’d been apart, Pansy took a pencil from her bag and began to scribble on her programme.

When they’d been small, she and Maryse had played a game. They’d stare at the back of their father’s neck and see if their steadfast gaze would make him turn around and pay attention to them.

Now she stared at Josh’s profile with all the love she felt for him churning inside her, and thought she might burst from the excitement. It was wonderful to see him, and how well he looked. This was the man she was going to marry. He just didn’t know it yet.

It was Daisy who saw Pansy first. Waving, she then nudged her brother in the ribs. Blue eyes turned almost lazily her way. Recognition came into them as they gazed at each other for a moment or two. Pansy felt her cheeks heat as his mouth quirked into a smile and he blew her a kiss.

The balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet was followed by the death scene, which concluded the performances. The two parties met in the foyer, the countess pretending Josh didn’t exist. How rude of her to cut him dead. The countess’s ears were twitching with curiosity, nevertheless, and she didn’t walk away.

‘What are you doing in London?’ Pansy asked him while they waited for the carriage to be brought round.

Prudence suddenly lost her air of being uninterested. ‘The unfortunate boy is not abandoned. At the moment he’s residing with a trusted servant until a school can be arranged for him. That is a different kettle of fish altogether. And nobody could expect anything more. The boy was passed off on dear Francis as his son by your own sister. Why should he have Maryse’s shame thrust upon him, especially since it caused his daughter’s death?’

Breath hissed between Josh’s teeth and Miss Edgar and Mr Dennings drew Daisy away to examine a poster displayed on the wall.

‘Maryse’s shame didn’t kill her. It was the shame attributed to her by people who professed to love her one minute and condemned her the next. Perhaps it could have been avoided had she been offered the support she needed.’

Pansy gasped at that, and so did the countess, who said, ‘You are too outspoken.’

‘I’ve learned to be of late, and if Goldie isn’t found soon, I’m going to be more outspoken yet.’

‘I know of no such thing. If he has, he’s going to get a shock, because when I find her I’ll be taking her straight home and giving him a piece of my mind.’ He gazed apologetically at Pansy. ‘Sorry, Miss Matheson, but someone has to shake some sense into him.’

‘That’s not your place, young man. Francis has older brothers to guide him.’

Josh snorted. ‘I hope the doc turns out to have more sense than they have, then. He was as happy as a pig wallowing in muck married to our Siana, and them with a litter of kids running around the place. Now he’s as miserable as sin. What sort of advice was it that made him that way?’

‘Don’t be vulgar,’ Prudence snapped, so affronted she could hardly get the words out.

When the carriage came into view Pansy dropped her reticule. As together they bent to retrieve it, she took the opportunity to slip the programme inside Josh’s jacket. ‘Please let me know when you find Goldie,’ she whispered.

The countess moved off, her back rigid, and accompanied by the attentive Justina, who was wide-eyed with the excitement of the encounter.

When they’d gone, Josh gazed at the note, which had been written around the margins.

Dearest Josh,

Meet me by the bandstand in Hyde Park at 3 p.m. the day after tomorrow. Aunt Prudence has a card afternoon arranged. If I beg off with a headache I should be able to leave the house unnoticed. There is something I urgently need to tell you.

Pansy Matheson

He shouldn’t encourage Pansy to deceive her aunt, he really shouldn’t. Josh smiled to himself, knowing he would.

Daisy had been entranced by Romeo and Juliet. Miss Edgar had told her beforehand that the story was about a girl and boy who fell in love, but their families hated each other so they were forbidden to marry and they both killed themselves. It was romantic and sad, and the actress was so pretty that Daisy had cried when she died, and was relieved to see her alive again when the cast bowed to the audience.

Since the Countess of Kylchester had been so horrible to Josh, Daisy decided she wasn’t going to marry one of the Matheson cousins, for she didn’t want to have the countess for a mother-in-law. She was going to become a famous actress instead.

It was Daisy who provided the clue to Goldie’s whereabouts, finding it in the window of a wig-maker’s establishment.

‘That’s Goldie’s hair,’ she whispered to Miss Edgar, whose attention had been captured by the pair of matching false ringlets that had led her into thinking much the same thing. Miss Edgar had brushed Goldie’s hair enough times to know it when she saw it.

They entered the shop and the governess smiled gently at the assistant when the ringlets were brought to the counter for their inspection. ‘Such a pretty colour hair. Where does it come from?’

‘The workhouse round the corner, madam. We buy a lot of hair from there. That colour is rare and the hair is very fine. It will fetch a good price.’

‘If it’s rare there won’t be a market for it,’ Daisy said, her sudden logic startling Miss Edgar. ‘I will pay you ten shillings for it.’

The assistant gazed at her in a rather snooty manner. ‘Where would you get ten shillings from?’

Remembering she was going to be an actress, Daisy looked down her nose at the woman, saying as haughtily as she was able, ‘You won’t be asking questions if I fetch the constable.’ She changed tack, laying her hand against her forehead like the actress in purple had done. ‘I have lost my sister. That hair was cut from her head after she was kidnapped.’

When the assistant laughed, Daisy glared at her. ‘It’s not funny. She might well have been murdered. However, if we discover her alive in the workhouse, my brother will pay you a generous reward.’

Miss Edgar gasped as Daisy picked up the ringlets and said, ‘Give this female ten shillings, Miss Edgar. That’s all she will get from me.’ Daisy swept from the shop with her nose regally in the air.

Dropping the contents of her purse on the counter with the hope that it would cover the negotiations that had recently taken place, Miss Edgar scurried after her errant pupil in case the assistant called for a constable herself. Or worse, an officer from the insane asylum.

It wasn’t until they were out of the shop and halfway back to the boarding house that a ticket for seven shillings and sixpence was discovered on the ringlets.

Josh was informed of the find straight away and, although he was dubious, the four of them went to the grim workhouse immediately, to check the place out.

When they confronted her, Mrs Tweddle gazed at the ringlets, the colour receding from her face. ‘The Matheson girl is in the infirmary. She’s got sickness of the lungs and the doctor has just seen her. He said she won’t last the month out.’

‘You stay here with Giles,’ Josh told Daisy and stared hard at the woman. ‘Take us to her, at once.’

Miss Edgar took her former charge into her arms. ‘Oh, my dearest. How on earth did you get into this dreadful state?’

Goldie’s eyes fluttered open for a moment and tears glittered on her lashes as she whispered. ‘I want to go home.’

Choked by the anger he felt, Josh could hardly speak. ‘And so you shall. Josh Skinner will take you there himself. Nothing will be too good for Miss Marigold Matheson.’

‘I’ll have to get clearance from the doctor before she’s signed out,’ Mrs Tweddle told him slyly. ‘It’s regulations. There will be a fee to pay, of course.’

‘Damn your soddin’ regulations, woman. I know what you’re after, and I’m not greasing the palm of the likes of you. You sign them papers quick smart, ’cause I’m taking her now. If you get in my way I’ll walk right over the bleddy top of you.’ So fiercely did Josh say it, the woman did as she was told, sharpish.

‘You’ll have to pay for the blanket,’ the woman protested, chasing after them.

Last in line and still playing the duchess, Daisy, who wasn’t about to repeat the mistake she’d made over the ringlets, scrabbled in her pocket, turned and threw a coin at her. ‘Here’s thruppence, my good woman. That’s all the filthy rag is worth.’

Her hands on her hips, Daisy dropped her grand manner and became herself, glaring ferociously at the woman. ‘You made money from the wig-maker from Goldie’s hair, you ghoul. Now, sod off!’ She kicked the woman in the shin to reinforce her words and scurried quickly out of the way.

Unexpectedly, her governess gave her a talking-to when they were safely out of Mrs Tweddle’s reach. ‘Don’t you ever let me hear you swear like that again, Daisy Skinner. It’s vulgar.’

‘Mr Skinner is a man. A lady does not utter obscenities and kicking people is offensive. It makes you appear common. You’re being too forward by far, and unpleasant to the extreme. I can only think it’s because your sister’s influence has been removed. Mrs Matheson would not appreciate this display of bad behaviour from you. You remember that?’

‘Yes, Miss Edgar,’ Daisy said, crestfallen at being reprimanded so harshly. She sighed. ‘I do wish Papa would tell Siana to come home. Doesn’t he love her any more?’

The expression in Miss Edgar’s eyes softened. ‘Of course he does. Everything will be fine, Daisy. Just you wait and see.’

‘I’m staying at Rivervale House, even if papa says I can’t. I’ll sleep in the stable with the horses.’ Her eyes began to flood with tears as she thought of what Goldie had been through. Miserably, she said, ‘I’ll never be mean to Goldie again, and I’m not sorry I kicked that awful woman.’

Miss Edgar gave her a kiss and took her by the hand. ‘I know, my dear, I felt like kicking her too. But when you give in to such impulses it makes your behaviour as bad as theirs. However, I’ll forgive you this time. Now, let’s hurry, else we’ll be left behind.’

Now her governess was in a good mood again, Daisy decided to ask her something which had been on her mind for a while. ‘Does Mr Dennings’s moustache tickle when he kisses you, Miss Edgar?’

‘Daisy Skinner, you little wretch!’ Her face turning bright red, Miss Edgar picked up speed and, almost jerking Daisy off her feet, hurried them forward to catch the others up.

Josh left Goldie to the private and tender ministrations of the females. The poor little wretch was half-starved, welted and bruised. Her hair had become dull, matted clumps through which the scalp could be seen in parts, where the hair had fallen out. Josh called in a doctor, who examined her and shook his head. ‘Best you take her to familiar surroundings where she can feel loved and cared for until she dies.’

‘I hate that doctor,’ Daisy said passionately afterwards, bursting into noisy tears. ‘I don’t want Goldie to die.’

‘It’s not his fault she’s sick. You stop that noise, our Daisy, lest Goldie hear you. The doctor left some medicine for her to take. If she knows people love her, she might get better in time. The best thing for you to do is to be good and help Miss Edgar look after her. That way, if she does die, you know you did your best to help her.’

As Daisy knelt beside the bed, her hands piously held together in prayer, she decided she might become a holy sister. After a while, praying on her knees became boring and she ran out of holiness. Rising, she gazed down at Goldie and, remembering the bracelet she wore, she slipped it from her wrist on to Goldie’s.

‘I took this back from that horrible common girl in the print shop. Alice, her name was. I dragged her across the counter and knocked the spots off her. And I kicked that woman at the workhouse on the leg.’

‘Listen, Goldie, I promise to give you my allowance for a whole month if you get better. I managed to get us a big bedroom all to ourselves at Rivervale, though you’ll have to sleep in the sickroom for a while.’ Daisy looked around to make sure there was nobody else listening. ‘I didn’t really hate you all those times I said I did. Miss Edgar said I suffer from such impulses. I don’t know what they are, but she suffers from them as well. She wanted to kick the woman too. Imagine that.’

Encouraged, Daisy whispered, ‘There’s something you should know. Mr Dennings is in love with Miss Edgar. If they get married she might ask us to be her maids of honour.’

When Goldie’s fingers fluttered against hers, tears filled Daisy’s eyes. ‘I do love you, Goldie. Really, I do. Try and get better quickly. There is so much I have to tell you.’

Outside the door, Miss Edgar dabbed a handkerchief to her damp eyes and thought to herself that Daisy Skinner could be an absolute angel when she set her mind to it.

Josh had tossed up between boat, rail or carriage. The trip by sea took approximately the same time as a carriage. Rail was quicker, but he’d still have to hire a carriage at the other end to take them from Southampton through to Poole.

He decided on a boat, reckoning if the weather was calm it would be more comfortable for Goldie than negotiating all the potholes in a swaying carriage. After booking a cabin for the females to use, he suddenly remembered his assignation with Pansy. How could he have forgotten when he’d been so longing to see her? Consulting his pocket watch, he decided he could make it in time, if he hurried.

The sun seemed to have deserted the sky and a chill wind had sprung up. Josh stopped long enough to buy a posy from a flower-seller, then his long legs carried him through the street and into the park. By the time he reached the bandstand, not only was he out of breath, he was perspiring. He gazed round him, seeing only a couple of nursery maids with their charges, a boy bowling a hoop along the path and an old man shuffling along with a dog on a leash.

His silver pocket watch told him it was only just past three. Surely, Pansy would have waited for a few minutes. Then he saw her hurrying across the grass towards him, clasping a silk shawl against her chest. As he went to greet her, a smile spread across her face. ‘Josh, I’m so sorry I’m late. Alder delayed me.’

His eyes lapped her up like the tongue of a hungry dog lapped up food. ‘I was late too. We’ve found Goldie. She’s very ill, though, and there’s some doubt if she’ll survive.’

‘I’m going to take her home and have hired a cabin on a boat going to Poole. She’ll get the best attention from your father there, for I’m sure he’ll not turn her away. If – God forbid – she does die, then at least she’ll have some of the people she loves around her. We’ll be leaving on tonight’s tide.’

‘I know.’ Her eyes were very blue as they gazed into his. ‘Am I your love, Josh?’

‘Surely, you are, Miss Matheson,’ he teased, and he handed her the posy he’d bought. The thought of declaring his love for Pansy Matheson was rather awe-inspiring, and he didn’t know quite how to proceed.

Something lurched sideways in the region of his heart. ‘I’m not good enough by half for you. ‘Sides, I’m supposed to ask you.’

The glimmer of a smile touched his lips at such a ridiculous notion. How could he not want her? ‘Your father wouldn’t approve.’

‘I’m of age where I don’t need my father’s permission. We could elope to Gretna Green.’

‘We’ll do no such thing, for I respect you too much,’ he said sternly. ‘First, I’ll seek your father’s approval, then I’ll propose marriage to you. If you accept, we’ll be married properly.’ A grin stretched across his face. ‘By crikey, I’d be so proud that I’d want to flaunt you in front of the congregation like a prize pony at the fair. I’m not having that old termagant aunt of yours telling people you’re fast.’

‘You funny, old-fashioned thing. I am fast.’ And she flung her arms about him. ‘Kiss me, Josh Skinner?’

‘Try to stop me.’ He took her face in his hands and kissed her sweet mouth, hoping his inexperience didn’t show, happiness buzzing through him like a hive of honey bees. It was wonderful and felt so right.

‘Well, well, Pansy,’ someone drawled, sending them springing guiltily apart. ‘No wonder you were in such a hurry to get rid of me. You thought you had me fooled, didn’t you?’

‘Looking out for your welfare, you stupid little fool. Did you really think you could fob me off on to Justina Parsons?’ Grabbing her by the arm, he jerked Pansy forward. ‘If you want to elope to Gretna Green it will be with me. By the time we get there you’ll have no choice but to accept me, I’ll see to that.’

Pansy lost the colour from her face. ‘You wouldn’t dare. Let me go, Alder. You don’t know what you’re doing. You’ve been drinking, I can smell brandy on your breath.’

Releasing his former fiancée, Alder took off his coat and began to roll up his sleeves. ‘I’m going to give you the thrashing you deserve, Skinner. How dare you come sniffing round my cousin like a mongrel after a bitch in season. She’s not for the likes of you.’

Flung off, she staggered backwards. When she recovered, Josh calmly handed her his coat, lest it be torn. It was tailor-made and he hadn’t had it long. He smiled calmly at Alder. ‘When you’re ready, sir.’

Alder’s fists came up and he crouched into a boxer’s stance. Josh waited for him to make a move.

When Alder’s fist shot out, Josh caught it, turned and jerked. Taken off balance, Alder somersaulted to sprawl on his back. Josh was still on his feet and waiting when Alder staggered up again.

His next move brought the same result. Josh rolled on to his back and threw Alder over his head. Josh was on his feet in a trice, blessing Marcus Ibsen who had taken the trouble to teach him the art of self-defence.

Losing his temper, Alder began to lash out at random, expending his energy and rarely landing a blow. Josh was able to predict and counteract every move without inflicting damage on the man, though he knew that if Alder got a hold of him he wouldn’t stand a chance. Soon, Alder was out of breath and perspiring heavily.

Alder shook his head, staggered to his feet then collapsed at the knees and sank heavily onto the grass.

‘I think you have.’ Josh turned to Pansy. ‘Miss Matheson, under the circumstances I think it would be safer if you came back to the boarding house with me. Miss Edgar and Daisy will be sufficient chaperone until I can place you in your father’s care. I’ll send a message to your uncle to let him know what has occurred, so he doesn’t worry.’

They left Alder to his own devices. He hurled foul curses and threats after them as they walked off.

As they left the park Josh turned to see a pair of constables heading Alder’s way. He grinned to himself. Alder was going to spend an uncomfortable night.

It was late in the morning. Francis was surprised to see Josh Skinner’s carriage come up the carriageway.

He was even more surprised when Daisy jumped out of the vehicle, followed by Miss Edgar. His heart lurched when he saw Pansy. He’d thought she was being safely looked after by her aunt. Without thinking, he smiled at the sight of her. How well and happy she looked. If a little travel weary.

Jolted out of his melancholy by the surprising event, he headed downstairs and out of the front door. He was just in time to see Josh alight from the carriage with a still figure in his arms. His breathing seemed to stop. ‘Goldie,’ he whispered. ‘What has happened?’

There was an accusing look from Daisy when Josh said, ‘You may well ask. We found Goldie in a London workhouse. She is ill. How ill I’ll leave you to discover for yourself.’

Pansy said to Josh. ‘Take her inside and up to the sickroom. We’ll care for her there. Miss Edgar, show Josh the way, please. Daisy, go with them and help make Goldie comfortable.’ Pansy then turned to him. ‘Are you coming, Papa?’

‘Of course. But first, do you not have a greeting for your father after all this time?’

‘I’m too heavy-hearted to indulge in social niceties. Goldie is sick unto dying. Why did you not take better care of her?’

Francis’s ears began to burn as he was suddenly confronted with the unhappy consequences of the prolonged length of his grieving for Maryse. It had been so dark a time he hadn’t realized he was being totally neglectful of others.

‘But I had letters from her, saying she was well and wished to stay in London with her brother. And I sent money, for she said her brother was not well off and she needed new clothes.’

‘Her brother has been dead for many months. Goldie was robbed and thrown onto the street. His wife and her daughter are fraudsters, perhaps worse. A former employee suspects that they murdered Sebastian Groves and intended to blame it on Goldie. But we will not know the truth unless she recovers. The doctor who examined her in London thinks it unlikely, though.’

Drily, Francis said, ‘The London doctor is obviously unaware of the recuperative power of clean air and country fare.’ He gave her a quick hug. ‘Dearest Pansy, I have no excuses for my behaviour, but the sight of you and Daisy has brought me wonderfully alive again. My heart is full to bursting.’

‘No, not Alder. My cousin has shown his true colours now and I find his nature to be despicable in the extreme. He was prepared to compromise me to get his own way, You should know that he was planning to abduct me, and carry me off to a hurried ceremony at Gretna Green, giving me no choice but to return to my family and friends with with my character besmirched.’

‘That, you will hear from his own lips. He will speak to you when he is ready and the opportunity arises, making his intentions known.’

She smiled and hugged him in return then, bringing such a warmth of love tumbling through him that he wanted to cry from the ache of knowing everything he’d missed over the dreadful, black months that had passed since Maryse had left them.

‘First, Goldie must be attended to, for everything else must be secondary to her welfare. Shall I fetch your bag?’

A few minutes later it was with a heavy heart that he gazed down at the frail young girl he’d taken under his roof, and had now failed.

Daisy slid her hand into his. ‘You’ll make her better, won’t you, Papa?’

Francis recalled a time where Daisy had been suffering from the same disease, as a baby. Against his advice, Siana had flown in the face of convention, using a controversial manner of body-cooling treatment which had pulled Daisy through. As a last resort, he would use it, too.

Francis knew he was about to have the fight of his life on his hands. It was a fight he was determined to win.

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