Chapter Two

 

 

I called Cole and gave him the good news. He said he would immediately start making the plans and we could be leaving as early as tomorrow.

“I’d leave right now if I could,” he’d said. We were both so excited about it that I could not wait to see him again. It had been three weeks since I’d last seen him at the Major Music Awards. The time went slowly and quickly all at the same time.

Dad, Jemma, and I all had dinner together. It felt like nothing could dampen my mood. In my mind I was mentally packing, trying to decide what to take to Hawaii. I would have to Google what people wore there.

We were doing the washing up when there was a knock on the door. I went to answer it before Jemma could, the kid had no concept of stranger danger.

I would have preferred to see a stranger on the other side of the door to who was actually there.

Our mother.

If it were me, I would have slammed the door in her face but I had to fight that urge. Apparently I couldn’t keep her out of our lives, not when she had fooled my father into believing she’d changed.

“What are you doing here?” I asked through gritted teeth. It was my standard response to seeing her.

Mom smiled kindly, all happy and bright. “I’m here to pick up Jemma. We’re going to see a movie.”

At hearing Mom’s voice, Jemma came bounding for the door. She leaped at our mother, landing in her arms and getting wrapped up into a hug.

The fallout was going to be massive when she decided to leave again.

When she decided she didn’t want to be a mother once more.

I looked at Dad for some help, somebody reasonable to say Jemma couldn’t go. Any time those two spent together would just hurt the little girl so much more when the time came.

And it would.

Our mother hadn’t proven anything to me yet.

Dad just stood beside me, placing an arm around my shoulder. “I hope you have a good time at the movies. Try not to stay out too late.”

“Dad, it’s vacation time. I can stay up all night,” Jemma insisted. Mom had placed her back on the floor and they were holding hands. Just that simple act made me so angry I wanted to scream.

“We’ll be home after the movie,” Mom said. “Or maybe after we get ice cream. We’ll see how we go.”

“Have fun,” Dad said as he watched them go and then closed the door. I heard Mom’s vehicle start up a few minutes later and then it was too late to stop them. Dad leaned against the door and looked at me. “She’s your mother, Mel. Jemma is really enjoying getting to know her.”

“Jemma is just being set up for heartbreak. She is going to be an inconsolable mess when Mom leaves again.”

“She’s serious about sticking around.”

“How can you be so sure? She has a history of this, Dad. She takes off when she’s sick of us.”

“I’ve been meeting with her,” Dad said and it felt like a dark confession, like he knew he was doing the wrong thing. The one act that would feel like a betrayal. “We’ve spoken long and hard about her return. She was sick the first time, Mel. She’s better now, she’s over all that and she got help just so she could come back and get to know you girls.”

“Until the next time, Dad.”

“There won’t be a next time.”

“I don’t believe her.”

Dad wiped at his forehead as if the conversation was giving him a headache and he was trying to relieve the tension. “Do you really think I would have allowed her to speak with either of you if I thought she hadn’t changed? I love you girls more than anything, I would not let anyone hurt you.”

I had opened my mouth to argue but his words silenced me. Dad did love us, I knew that unequivocally. He was with us through everything, trying to raise two small children and suffer the heartbreak of losing his wife. He’d done it all alone and he’d done it all marvelously.

All the fight left me, leaving me deflated. “I’m just scared of everyone getting hurt again,” I said quietly.

Dad left the safety of the door and swept me up into a hug. He kissed my forehead. “I am too. But just think how wonderful it will be to have your mother back again. If we can get over the fear and let her in, she can only add to our lives.”

I tried to imagine what it would be like to have two parents again. I pictured Dallas and her mother, the way their close relationship had always made me jealous. I doubted whether we could have that same level of closeness, but perhaps we could have some version of it.

It would be nice to have a female parent to talk to about some stuff. As I got older, I had more and more questions that I didn’t want to talk to Dad about. Nothing against him, I just didn’t think he would want to talk about my monthly caller or anything like that.

Dad and I sat down with a cup of tea and really talked about Mom after that. He told me stories about how excited she was when I was born and how she would take me out on walks around town just to show me off. “She’d tell everyone you were already a genius, said she could tell. We didn’t have much money so she would make most of your clothes. You were the best dressed baby in the world and it was all because of the hours she spent on the sewing machine while you were asleep next to her.”

It was stories like that which started to melt the wall I’d built around myself. I never thought I’d actually start to consider being nice to her and give her a chance to prove herself.

Maybe I needed to let her in.

Maybe it was time.

Every time you loved someone, it was a risk. Only those you loved could hurt you the most. I’d taken that risk with Cole and he had given me so much happiness that I couldn’t describe it. Sure, he could hurt me at any time with just a few simple words too. But the risk was worth it.

I waited up for Jemma to come home. Our mother walked her to the front door and I took it from there. I helped the girl into her pajamas and tucked her into bed.

“Did you have a nice time tonight?” I asked as I sat on the edge of her pink bed. She looked tired, there was no doubt she would have a good sleep tonight. At least she didn’t have to get up early and go to school in the morning.

“The movie was so funny.”

“What about Mom? Did you enjoy spending time with her?”

“She bought me an ice cream and popcorn. She was really nice to me,” Jemma said excitedly. Even through her fatigue, she could still summon up happy energy.

“That’s good. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

“Why don’t you like her?” she asked me quietly, as if I might get angry at her for asking.

How did I explain such complicated emotions to my little sister? I couldn’t fully understand them, there wasn’t a way for me to completely put them into words.

It was too late at night to come up with anything eloquent. “It’s not that I don’t like her, I’m just scared she’ll disappear again. I don’t want her to hurt you or Dad or me.”

“Will she leave again?”

“I really don’t know.” I pulled the sheet up to her chin and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Just try to be careful, okay? You can still enjoy being with her, just don’t get too attached.”

“Okay, Melly.”

“Goodnight.”

Her eyes were already closed by the time I turned off the light. I regretted saying anything to her about Mom but she had to know something. I didn’t want her thinking I didn’t like her. That wasn’t the truth, but it was close.

I went to bed myself, thinking about everything that had happened that day. I’d gone from being excited about going to Hawaii to the anger of seeing my mother, to then understanding more about her from my father.

It was a whirlwind inside my mind.

All I knew was that I was going to be getting away from it all for a while. And that I needed to give my mother a break, for everyone’s sake. I couldn’t tear apart my family like she did. I wouldn’t be that person.

In the morning, I was awoken by my phone going off with messages. Cole had sent through all the details of our travels so I could pass them onto Dad. I had about two hours to get to the airport where I would be meeting Cole. He’d fly in just so we could catch the same plane to Hawaii.

We weren’t flying in the private jet this time, it was busy with official duties. Still, the airplane ticket he sent through was for first class seats.

Cole Newton spoiled me.

The two hours flew past so quickly I was running late to the airport. I’d said all my goodbyes back home before the car picked me up so there was nothing more to do than hurry to find Cole.

I flashed my tickets at the barrier and hurried through to the boarding area. Cole was in the first class lounge, sitting in the corner and facing out onto the tarmac to minimize the chance of being recognized.

But I could recognize him anywhere.

I hurried over and tapped him on the shoulder. His head snapped around and he smiled when he saw me. “I have been waiting forever for you.”

His arms were open for me and I ran into them. Cole’s hugs were so warm and wonderful I could have stayed in them forever. If there was ever a place on earth that was my favorite, it was in his arms.

“Sorry I’m late,” I said when we’d released our hug-hold on one another.

“I would never let the plane take off without you. But we really should get on it.”

We boarded together, hand in hand. I couldn’t believe I was going to get him to myself for a whole week. No other band members, no manager, no family. It was just Cole and me, enjoying our alone time in paradise.

What could possibly go wrong?