‘Give Col a bonus! Give Col a bonus!’

The voice of Mervyn King spat out these words,

And Berrigan, my guide,

Whispered: ‘Don’t let him freak

You out, he’s a powerful mother,

But he can’t stop our campus tour.’

Then he turned towards that bloated countenance,

Saying, ‘Shut it, moneybags,

Feed on last night’s oysters that rot your guts,

This tour of your wretched kingdom

Has Dean’s approval, and funding

                         from the AHRC.’

As sails, swollen by wind, collapse

              when the yacht’s mast snaps,

So the savage beast collapsed before our eyes,

And then we started up those slippery steps,

Past wasted students stopped for a smoke,

                                that led to Square 4.

Who could imagine misery

              as strange as I saw here,

Like something out of                  Dalí.

As a speeding car on the road loses its

Grip on the tarmac, spinning into a stream of

Oncoming traffic, so these folk danced the conga;

More sinners were here than anywhere below

And from both sides, to the piercing cry of their

Screams, chests stuck out, they rolled giant coins,

And when they clashed against each other they

Turned to push the other way, one bunch yelling

‘What’s the point in saving?’, the other bunch