I was scared to death and didn’t know who I could trust. Add heartbroken to the mix, and you really got a big confusing mess. That was exactly where I was sitting at the moment. Elijah yelling and banging on things wasn’t helping matters, either.
How could I open up to him? How could I trust him? He was the one who’d sent me the message to go to that jobsite last night. He was the one who’d lured me into that danger. I didn’t know what kind of sick game he was playing right now, but I didn’t want to be a part of it anymore. I just needed to get to my car or get to my parents’ house and get far away from him.
The part of my heart that he still owned, and trust me, it was an enormous part, wanted to hear him out. We were so good together, and it was killing me to come to terms with our relationship being over. I’d let myself believe he was the one for me. I’d let myself fall in love with him.
Well, the joke was on me, wasn’t it? I should have known better. Before I’d met him, I’d made peace with the fact that I would never have a man in my life. My past left too much damage, too many scars for me to have a normal relationship with a man. I’d tried before; I knew how it would end. Elijah had seemed different, though. And maybe he was. But in the end, I was still the same broken girl as before.
“Beauty, please. Please, listen to me. There is nothing left in my heart for anyone but you. Just you. Seeing Hensley freaked me out. And I will admit I lost my shit there for a while. But not because she ignited some old flame just by seeing her. Quite the opposite.” He chuckled.
He was actually laughing.
“I’m glad you’re amused by all of this, Elijah.”
“Please stop. Please stop looking for a fight. I was chuckling at the notion of me still caring about that woman. I despise her. No, more than that. There isn’t a word that accurately quantifies how much I loathe her. If you don’t believe me—which I can’t understand why you wouldn’t, when I have preached to you how I feel about dishonesty—talk to Grant or Bas. They’ll tell you without any lead-in how much I hate that woman.”
“Is that how your relationships usually end?” I asked him. I knew I was being a royal bitch this morning, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was so hurt by the way he’d betrayed me and betrayed my trust. It was a defense mechanism I couldn’t put a lid on.
Elijah tilted his head in that perfectly sexy way that usually drove me insane.
But not this time. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window to my right. He was lucky I didn’t punch him in the face.
“What do you mean?”
With a scowl, I said, “Give me a break, Banks. You’re not a dense man.”
“No, seriously, Hannah. Enlighten me. Right now, I’m not going to take anything for granted when it comes to understanding you. What are you asking me?”
I exhaled loudly and let my shoulders drop. God, I was exhausted. “I was wondering if all your breakups ended with one person hating the other.” After I finished the comment, I continued to glare at him.
Subtly he moved his head left to right. Left to right again. The gesture looked more like disbelief than a negative answer. “I haven’t had a relationship since that witch we saw at the courthouse. I swore I would never be hurt by a woman again. I would never trust a woman again.” His voice was raw with emotion, and for the first time all morning, it affected me.
We stared at each other for much too long until I felt like my heart was in danger of freezing over from looking into those damn icy-green eyes. He looked so hurt. As hurt as I felt. And so lost. I wasn’t sure we’d be able to find our way back.
Christ, how did we get here?
“Where do you want me to take you?” Elijah asked flatly, seeming to have found new resolve after that last exchange.
Fascinated with the view out my window—fine, pretending to be fascinated with the view out my window, I answered, “I’ll get my car and some things from your house. I can send someone for the rest later.”
“All right,” he said quietly, looked over his left shoulder, and waited for an opportunity to pull back into traffic.
The rest of the drive was made in the loudest silence I’d ever endured. By the time he turned onto his street in Malibu, I wanted to dive out of the car and run on my own two feet the last stretch of the way. My silver BMW sat right where I’d parked it. He must have really tied one on last night not to have noticed it there. I had to bite into the inside of my cheek not to make a comment of the sort.
I followed him through the front gate and along the walk to the front door, keeping several paces behind him. It reminded me so much of my first days here with him. He had given me a list of rules to follow, and I’d thought he was an egomaniac asshole.
Hey, what do you know? My mom always taught me to trust my first impression of a person.
“I’ll just be a few minutes, and then I’ll be out of your way. No matter what’s happened between us over the past few days, I will always cherish the other memories I made here with you. I just want to tell you that. Goodbye, Elijah.”
When he began to speak, I just held up my flat hand to gesture Stop. Enough had been said and done already. I was being honest. I really did have beautiful memories here, and I didn’t want them all to be tarnished.
I hurried down the long hall to the master bedroom and riffled through the section of the large walk-in closet where my stuff was hanging. Quickly, I started yanking things down from the hangers. Shirt, shirt, jeans, chef jacket, another one, and then I dropped to my knees to grab my work shoes, a pair of sneakers, and my Uggs. That was all I could carry, so that was all I would take. I’d have to send my dad back for the rest.
Shit, that was going to be a great conversation.
Well, that did it. For some reason, the thought of telling my dad about another failed relationship cracked me straight down the middle. I completely fell apart on the floor of the massive walk-in closet, clutching my clothes and shoes like a teenage runaway.
While surrounded by Elijah’s thousand-dollar dress shirts and high-end business suits, my broken heart betrayed me in messy sobs and hiccupping gasps. I buried my face in my clothes so I wouldn’t be heard and tried desperately to pull myself together.
But the events of the previous night came flooding back into my mind. And now those memories were holding hands with my old friend anxiety. I wiped my eyes with trembling hands, but it was no use. The tears were coming faster than I could rub them away.
“A… My n-n-aaame is Ann-na. My h-h-usban-d’s n-name is A-d-um. Wee”—sniff—“come fr-rom Amm-ster-dam.” I exhaled slowly through pressed lips. “A-an-dd we s-s-sell ap-pp-les.”
I rocked back and forth on my bent knees and inhaled through my nose. I was desperate to stave off this attack. This was an oldie but goody right here. A trick my therapist taught me when I was just a girl, and I never stopped using it. Talking out loud regulated my breathing pattern, and thinking of what to say for each letter preoccupied my mind.
So, I moved on to the letter b. I was on f when I was calm enough to notice Elijah standing in the doorway looking twelve kinds of scared and helpless.
“Baby, can I help you?” He dropped down to his knees too, and I started crying again. Goddammit, just when I’d gotten it under control.
“All right, all right,” he crooned, pulling my clothes out from between us. “Come to me.”
He held out his arms, and I wanted to crawl into them more than anything in this world. I wanted it so bad.
This was where the dominant man took over. He pulled me into his chest and held me as close as two people could be without being joined during lovemaking. I gave in to the safety and comfort I was so hungry for and melted into him. The warmth of his body against mine was finally doing some good against the chill I couldn’t shake from being outside all night. I was so grateful it was still summer, or those early dawn hours would have been unbearably cold.
More tears. More shudders. More sniffles and sobs. I couldn’t stop any of it no matter how hard I tried, and Elijah softly whispered beautiful words to me the whole time. While I heard what he said, I only let them penetrate so deep. Never again would I let his words, or any man’s words, into my heart. This pain was much too great to bear. How would I survive this? This betrayal was too much.
With all that fuel behind me, I pushed back from him. The anger came rushing in again as fierce as it ever had.
“Stop this.” I shoved at his chest to try to get out of his embrace.
But this time, he had his steel-band arms locked around me, holding me against him. Since we were already on the ground, his most vulnerable spots weren’t the easy target they would have been if we had been standing.
“No. You stop this,” he growled, and his voice was deeper and had a sinister edge I couldn’t remember hearing. On him or any other human.
In some combination of lightning-fast moves, the bastard joined our hands together with a set of metal handcuffs. I looked down and tugged on the device, pulling his arm along with mine so I could inspect the entrapment closer.
“Hey, do you mind?” he asked in a snarky tone and pulled his arm back, this time yanking mine closer to him.
“Take these off immediately,” I demanded with death-ray eyes.
“No. In fact…” He walked swiftly toward the bathroom, dragging me with him.
“No, I don’t need to watch you pee,” I protested. “Thank you, though.” I hooked my arm around the open doorway of the linen closet as we scurried by. He was moving us along at a good enough pace, though, and I couldn’t anchor myself in time and stumbled after him anyway.
But instead of using the toilet, he held the little key between our faces.
“We’re going to work out whatever is going on here or take each other apart, piece by piece.” Elijah waggled his brows and tilted his head a bit. His hair flopped over to the side, and he gave me a slow, sexy grin. “That might be fun. You know?”
He dropped the key into the toilet and flushed with his free hand before I could even process what was happening.
“You fucking idiot. Tell me you have another key. How am I going to work like this? Or drive, or shower? My God, what were you thinking?” I was yelling by the time I finished and really didn’t care. That was so irresponsible.
“Language, lady. You’re out of hand today.”
After he issued that little reprimand, he started walking toward the door of the bedroom.
“Hey! You can’t just pull me along behind you everywhere.”
As he did just that, I found myself talking to his back. At least the view was lovely. Down the hall toward the kitchen we went, his arm fully extended behind him and mine out in front of me.
“How are we going to get these off?” I hurried to catch up to my hand to see the lock. Maybe I could pick the thing with a bobby pin or paper clip. Didn’t they do that on television?
Elijah put his hand over the cuff. “Forget it, beauty. They’re tamperproof. I don’t mess around with toys. You know that.”
I just stared at him. My God, he was infuriating. And gorgeous. And so damn pretty to look at that it sometimes took my breath away. When I realized he was locked in the stare too, I quickly turned my head. This man was too good at reading me, and I’d already given him the intimacy of my mind and body.
“I’m hungry,” he announced to no one in particular.
Or maybe it was to me. I couldn’t be sure. But if he thought I was cooking for him, he was more delusional than I imagined. Not to mention, he never spoke to me like a demanding caveman. And I’d be damned if it was something I’d start responding to now.
“All right, I’m going to head out, then. I just need to get that stuff I left on the floor.”
I intentionally used the hand tethered to his to thumb over my shoulder, yanking his along with mine. I gave this ridiculous experiment two hours at the most before he got tired of it and took these things off.
“Hannah,” he sighed and dramatically dropped his chin to his chest.
“Yes?” I asked with impatience.
“Clearly, you’re not going anywhere. Not until we get to the bottom of what’s going on here between us. How can you just throw this away?” He motioned between our two bodies. “Throw us away?”
“See, now that’s funny. Right there.” I poked my index finger into his shoulder and continued. “That’s so funny you are saying that.”
“I wasn’t trying to be funny. Help me understand. I know I never told you I suspected I had a child. Admittedly, that’s a huge detail to omit from someone’s story. It’s not something I talk about because it’s very painful. Up until that day in that courthouse, I had given up on the notion of ever even confirming or denying the child was mine. Because she disappeared.”
He made a gesture with his hands, of course yanking mine along with his, like a small explosion between our faces.
“Poof, here one day, gone the next. For five months, she led me to believe that my child was growing inside her, and we were planning for a family and a life together. And then one day she stood by our front door with all her bags packed and announced, ‘Oh, just kidding, the baby isn’t yours, and I’m in love with someone else,’ and left. She just left.”
I didn’t know what to say. Really, what would you say to that? I witnessed the emotional damage that woman had done to this loving, generous, giving man. If he didn’t harbor all the resentment and animosity toward womankind in general because of Hensley, I couldn’t imagine the full-force boyfriend he would be. Really, if this was him holding back, he’d be downright scary at full tilt.
“I’m sorry you were treated that way. I know she caused you a lot of pain and continues to affect your relationships.” There. That was fair and kind. I couldn’t be faulted for an answer like that.
“Will you have a paternity test done now that you know where to find her? Does she still have custody of the child?” I asked and then wanted to retract the question just as fast. First of all, it was terribly rude. Secondly, and probably mostly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. Did he plan on reuniting with that woman? If the child was his, were they going to run back into each other’s arms and make a happy family?
That thought made my gut roil, and I sneaked a peek over to the sink to see if it was empty in case I had to lose my stomach’s contents.
I held my free hand up as if to say Stop. “You know what? Not my business.”
“Please don’t say that.”
“Why? Why would you want me grilling you like that? It’s not fair of me, not at all. I’m tired and emotional, and I have to readjust to the way things are now. I have no right to ask you things like that. I have no right to ask you anything, frankly.”
“What is this about? You keep saying things as if we’re over.” He put his strong hands on my hips and pulled me against him. “Is that what all of this is about? Just level with me, Hannah. Are you breaking up with me because of the way I acted at the courthouse?”
I stared up into his beautiful face. His hypnotic eyes were full of anguish, and none of it made sense. None of it. When I tried to push away from him, he held on tighter.
“No. Tell me where we stand. Let’s do this like adults. I want to know what’s going on, straight up. I’ve been trying to guess for the past three hours, and I’m no closer to figuring it out.”
“You had to have known,” I said, glaring at him. How could he be acting so clueless? He had to have known what would happen to me when I walked onto that jobsite.
“Known what? In fact, just assume I don’t know. Because right now, I really don’t know anything.”
The more he spoke, the more I wondered if I had something wrong. Either this was one giant mix-up, or he was an outstanding liar and all the carrying on about disliking liars was just that, carrying on.
“When you told me to meet you last night at Shark’s Edge, what did you think would happen?”
“What?” Elijah twisted his face in confusion. “When I what?” His voice went higher with each question, and I rolled my eyes at his dramatics.
“Please don’t patronize me.” I sighed.
“I’m not patronizing you. But I’m also not understanding you. I didn’t tell you to meet me at Shark’s Edge last night. Why would I do that? Why would I tell you to meet me at a jobsite? In the dark?”
Now the tone of incredulousness he was taking with me was pissing me off. Like I was the dumb one here.
“I don’t know. It didn’t make sense to me either. But the text message came from your phone number. You’ve admitted to me, more than once this morning, that you drank too much last night. Is there a chance you did it and don’t remember?”
“Here. Look at my phone. You’ll see I didn’t send you a message telling you to meet me there.” In a hurry, he pulled out his phone and slapped it on the counter. He scrolled back to last night, and what do you know? Right there it was.
“I did not send that. What is all of this? I was with Bas and Grant at this time. They can vouch for me. And also that I didn’t leave to go to meet you at the Edge.”
“Oh, trust me, I know you didn’t show up. But three other guys did.” Ahh, there was the bit of information that got him to freeze in his tracks. His little tirade came to a quick halt when I threw out that detail.
With an ashen face and meek voice, he asked, “What?”
“Do I really have to repeat that?” I bit back.
In a blink, his color flushed back into his cheeks, and his tone became lethal. “Hannah? Did they hurt you?”
And then he switched to careful and concerned. “Beautiful girl. I’m so sorry this happened, but I swear I didn’t send those texts to you.”
This was like watching someone change Halloween masks, but their entire personality changed instead.
“I would never lead you to a dangerous place like that. Ever. You have to believe me. If for no other reason, base that knowledge on the time we’ve spent together. I’ve always taken your safety seriously, have I not?”
I was so damn confused, I didn’t know which end was up. And I’d seen him play this tactic before, so no, I didn’t exactly trust him. God, that stabbed my own heart to admit that to myself.
But the facts were right in front of us. So my temper flared again. “Why are those messages on your phone, then?” I shouted, and frankly, it felt good.
“It wasn’t me!”
“Don’t you fucking shout at me right now, mister. I barely escaped a gang rape last night because you led me into some fucked-up situation. And for what? I can’t seem to figure that out. Maybe just for kicks? See how many women you can get to do your bidding, or ensure you still have control over me at least? Maybe seeing the old flame reminded you that at least one of your old fucks had the strength to break your magic spell and get away from you.”
Elijah stared at me for long seconds after that. And then a few more.
“What?” I snapped.
“I’ve just never seen this side of you. I don’t really know what to make of it. It’s frightening and fascinating all at the same time. Just when you think you know someone, and then something like this—” He waved his free hand up and down the length of my body like he was showing off a prize cow at the state fair.
I sincerely considered kneeing him in the balls like I had the one guy last night.
“So what happened when you got to the jobsite?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” I scowled, really not wanting to have to give him a blow-by-blow account of the situation.
“No. Tell me what happened.”
“You texted me and told me where to meet you specifically—”
“It wasn’t me texting you. Obviously, someone commandeered my VPN or something. I’ll have to dig into that.” He motioned wildly with his hand. “But go on.”
“When I got to where I thought you would be and you weren’t there, I started to really get nervous. I had pepper spray in my bag, so I had that at the ready, and this man came up behind me and scared the crap out of me. He knew my name and everything.” My breathing was starting to labor, so I closed my eyes and took a few moments to center myself again.
Elijah was patient now because he had gotten used to these exercises I went through when agitated to stave off a full-blown attack.
After I reengaged in our conversation, he asked, “Did you get a good look at him?”
“Pretty good, yeah. I mean, it was dark, but there was enough light from the places they are currently working, you know? I even snapped shots of them after I pepper sprayed them, but I don’t know where my phone is now.”
“Okay, that’s really good. Do you think you can work with someone on a sketch?”
“Yes, probably. But Elijah, I don’t think it will do much good. They got away and ran off long before Mr. Cole found me there.”
“Did they touch you? At all—anywhere?”
“No. They would have. They were disgusting.” I shivered involuntarily just thinking about their smell and the way the one leered at me.
“How many were there?” Elijah asked next.
I was beginning to feel like I was being questioned by law enforcement. His questions were coming one after the other.
“Three that I saw.”
“Did they ask you for anything? Money…information?”
“No, they said their boss wanted them to get me and bring me to him. I kind of lost it when I heard that. I know the statistics from the situation when I was young. If you are taken from the scene, your chance of not being found increases dramatically.”
The gorgeous man pulled me into him and held me there. It might have been for his own comfort—it might have been for mine. We both needed physical reassurance in that moment, so we clung onto each other and said nothing for long minutes. I could feel him inhaling the scent of my hair repeatedly as if memorizing fine details to hold sacred after I left. Maybe I was making that part up, but I wanted to believe he’d be that devastated if I left.
Finally, Elijah asked, “So how did you get away? From three men?”
“I used my pepper spray on two, and one I kneed in the groin. One had a broken shoelace, so his boot wasn’t tied well.” My hands were telling the story as much as my words, so Elijah’s hand was getting yanked along for the ride. He teased me about talking with my hands all the time, so his grin was extra wide now that he was an active participant in my habit.
“I knew he should be the one left standing if I had to leave one upright. It made sense, right? He wouldn’t be able to run fast with a boot flopping all around.” I finally finished and rested my hands on the island.
“You are so smart. I’m so proud of you.” Elijah hugged me close to his chest again. This time he kissed my forehead, but it was very parental. “That was really fast thinking.”
“I was able to outrun him and duck under the staircase. I was so scared to move until Mr. Cole found me there this morning.” I finished my tale from his embrace, and he looked awestruck.
“My God. My beautiful baby. I promise you I will find out who did this, and they will pay for this. No one fucks with what’s mine.”
The moment those words left his lips, I was shaking my head. “Like I told you earlier, I’m not your burden, Elijah.”
“Cut the bullshit, Hannah. You’re right. You’re not a burden. You’re the woman I love. There’s a big difference.” He stared at me with challenge on every feature, all but daring me to argue with him on the point.
“You love me?”
“Yes. With all my heart. You’re driving me a little batshit crazy today, but yes, I love you,” he said with the widest grin.
“I’m so confused.”
“Well, Han, your attitude has been atrocious.”
I pushed his shoulder. “Not about that.”
“What, then?”
“You had to have known how dangerous that situation was that you led me into. I don’t know if you were using me as bait or what?” I shook my head, trying to make sense of the situation compared to his words now, and it just didn’t add up.
“Woman, listen to me. I did not send you those text messages. There is technology to make it look like I did, but I did not. You must believe me. I’ve never lied to you before, have I?”
He stared at me expectantly as I turned over his words.
Ask him who he had dinner with last night.
“No, not that I know of, at least.” Then it hit me like a freight train. How had I not seen this before? “Were those the same guys who kidnapped Grant? Off the boat he and Rio were on?”
He thought for a moment and finally said, “The only way we’re going to know that is by getting you, Grant, and Rio together in the same room to compare notes. The timing on that will be up to you since you’re fresh off the ordeal. Do you want to take a shower? A nap? Are you hungry?”
I lifted my hand to rub my forehead and dragged his hand with mine. “Please take these off. This is ridiculous.”
“No can do. I really don’t have another key.”
“You’re a fucking idiot. What were you thinking?” How were we going to live like this?
That trademark grin spread across his face again. “Well, I can think of a few positives about this arrangement.”
I, on the other hand, saw nothing to be smiling about. “Really? Enlighten me.”
“Well, for one thing, you won’t be going anywhere without me, so I can ensure your safety. Also, you’ll still be sleeping in the same bed as me. Not to mention, looks like we’ll be showering together. We’ve always had fun in the shower, haven’t we?”
He had the nerve to look hopeful and, goddammit, sexy while saying that. Or maybe it was the idea and the memories that were sexy and not the man himself. Or all three?
“Can I use your cell phone, please? I’m going to need to replace mine as soon as possible.”
“Who do you need to call?” he asked nonchalantly but didn’t hand over his phone.
“Is it really your business?”
“If you’re going to be making the call from my cell phone it is.”
“You can’t just hold me here hostage. I want to call a locksmith to get these fucking things off us, and then I’m going to leave here, replace my phone, and go home and decide what I need to do from there.”
He looked like I just kicked his shins and stole his favorite toy. “So you still want to leave? After everything I explained to you?”
“Do you remember, not that long ago, I was going to move back to my parents’ house? When everything was going just fine between us, I still intended on moving back to their place. I should have done it then. We need to get space between us. We jumped into this relationship thing too fast. We don’t know each other well enough to be living together. I shouldn’t be blindsided when skeletons fall out of your closet like I was in front of the courthouse.”
“How long are you going to hold my past against me? I don’t do that to you. Our past makes us who we are today. Not to weaponize in an argument or when you feel insecure about our relationship advancing too quickly.”
“That’s not what I’m doing. That’s absurd.”
“Is it?”
“Elijah, listen to me. I’m not using your past against you. Try to look at this from my point of view and be honest with me about it. How would it feel to see me hysterical—” I put up my hand to stop him from interrupting, because he sharply inhaled to do just that. I gave him a sideways warning stare before continuing. “How would it feel to see me hysterical when I saw an ex-boyfriend? And not a fresh breakup, but one from yeeeeaars ago that rewired my entire mind-set on relationships, dating, and the general existence of an entire gender?”
I stopped him from answering again because this was too important to just fly off the handle with the first knee-jerk response that came to him. He should really contemplate his answer here.
“No, don’t spout off on this. It’s too crucial to our future. I think it’s worth sitting with for a moment. I mean really be present”—I swirled my hand around in front of his face like I was washing a window between us—“with all of that for a little while and see how it feels. God knows I just had that opportunity all night and into the early morning hours. It’s only fair.”
Not thinking, I turned to walk away and give him some privacy and was immediately yanked back by our joined hands.
“Goddammit.” I grumbled a few more choice words and sank down onto one of the stools at the island. Burying my face in my folded arms, exhaustion overtook me. A nap felt possible sitting right where I was.
“Come on, baby.” Elijah’s voice was right beside my ear. The proximity startled me, and I jumped, but he held me close to his body as he carried me down the hall.
“Wait. Where are you—no, put me down.” I tried to push away from his chest, but his strength was no match for me, especially given how tired I felt.
“Why must you fight me on everything? You’re exhausted. Let’s just lie down for a while so you can rest.” He spoke gently as he laid me on the bed.
The heavy drapes were still closed from the night before, and my lids were impossible to keep open as soon as I felt the pillow beneath my head.
“Do you want the covers pulled up?” my caretaker asked quietly.
“Yes, please,” I grumbled into the pillow as he spooned in behind me to rest our joined hands across my abdomen. Good thing we didn’t mind sleeping this way.
I was out before I could give it another thought. All I could hope for when I woke was some sort of clarity about where he and I stood and a freaking key to unlock the cuff that bound me to him physically.
The bigger problem was that he held my heart prisoner too. Breaking free from that captivity would take a lot more time and effort, if I could escape his hold at all.