MK had left for work before Harry, and he had locked the door. Even though it was years since he had been a cop, in situations like these, Harry instinctively reached to his hip, only to be reminded that he no longer packed a gun. He grabbed a carving knife from the block as he crept inside. Not that that would help him against a shotgun. After a heart-pumping search, which he was glad no one had witnessed, Harry convinced himself that no one was here and that nothing was taken. Other than a burglary, the only reason he could think for anyone to sneak into his house was to bug the place. As far-fetched as that seemed, he had a quick search for bugs and found what he expected – nothing. In the bathroom he found the ornamental spare toilet paper holder that had been on the back of the cistern in the toilet bowl.
What happened here? he wondered.
* * *
Harry ignored the store on his first lap around the lake, but succumbed to a stop on his second. Todd’s donuts were negating any benefit he was receiving from his fitness regime. It made him think that in the future he would just stay on his sofa.
“Did you feel it?” Todd said before saying hello.
“Feel what?”
“The fucking earthquake.”
“Oh, that explains it. My teapot was smashed on the floor when I got home. I thought someone had broken in.”
“It was a fucking earthquake. A pretty big one too. The whole house shook,” Todd said, pouring Harry a cup of coffee.
Harry really just wanted a glass of water but was afraid to ask for it. He took a sip and winced at the hours-old brew.
“You think it was because of the fracking?”
“No fracking – no earthquakes. Fracking – earthquakes. You do the math. Those corporate fuck-puppet geologists, I bet they’ll tell us that there is no scientific analytical correlation or some such bullshit. Assholes.”
Harry didn’t say anything. Todd’s opinions seemed to be enough for the both of them.
“Hey, you coming to the lynching tonight?”
“I beg your pardon?” Harry said.
“The council meeting’s tonight. We’re gonna impeach the mayor.”
“You’re going to impeach Charlie?”
“Fucking right we are. He should be organizing us to stop these fracking assholes, instead he’s fucking selling us to ’em. You should come, it’ll be fun.”
“No, I think I’m working tonight.”
“What, too busy banging MK?”
“I am not ban— there is nothing going on between me and MK.”
“Don’t bullshit a bullshitter, Cull. Twice she’s been seen coming out of your place in the AM.”
“By who?” Harry demanded.
“By the pine needle telegraph, my friend. Everybody’s talking about you two; you’re better than any soap opera at the moment. And good for MK, I’m glad to see she’s getting some from a guy who doesn’t wear panties, if you know what I mean?”
Harry stood up. “Hey, that’s enough.”
“Don’t get mad – I’m glad for you two.”
“I said ‘enough’.”
“OK, OK, sorry.”
Harry started to leave.
“No, don’t go, I’m sorry,” Todd said. “Wait a sec, I’ll make it up to you.”
Before he went upstairs the old guy had one quick look to make sure Harry really wasn’t leaving. When he came back down he had a ceramic teapot in his hand. He placed it on the counter. It was shaped in the form of an elephant with the trunk as the pourer and an Indian boy riding on top as the lid. “My dead wife bought this,” he sighed. “Shit, it hasn’t made a cup of tea in thirty years. You can have it to replace the one the earthquake broke.”
Harry instinctively started to say no but then thought how much he would like a cup of tea when he got home. He just nodded and said: “Thank you, Todd.” He picked up the teapot and turned to leave.
“I really am sorry. I sometimes take the whole angry old fart act too far. But let me say just one more thing. You really are one lucky bastard – and that’s no lie.”
Again Harry didn’t disagree.
“Come to the meeting tonight,” Todd called after him. “It’s gonna be a clusterfuck.”
* * *
Back at the house, Harry made a batch of tea with his new pot. As ornamental teapots go, it made a pretty good brew. He opened the sliding doors and sat on the deck waiting for MK while watching the day end over the lake. Before she arrived his phone rang. It was Cirba. He told Harry that the mayor had asked him to come to the council meeting tonight to give an update on the murders and that maybe they could get a drink after that. Harry said that would be fine and told him about what Todd had said might happen at the meeting.
“Oh, boy,” Cirba said. “Small-town politics – when it gets nasty, it make’s Washington seem like a Sunday church social.”
“You take me to all the swish places,” MK said to Harry as they walked up to the Ice Lake Community House.
“Do you think maybe we should go in separately?” Harry said. “We don’t want people to talk.”
“According to Todd, apparently it’s too late.”
MK entwined her arm in Harry’s and steered him away from the entrance. “Here, come sit with me.” She led Harry to a secluded corner of the property where there were a pair of wrought iron park benches hidden under a stubby scrub oak. “This place is historic.”
“What happened here?”
She leaned in and gave him a deep long kiss. When she disengaged she said: “This is where I learned how to do that.”
Harry let out an inaudible whistle. “Wow, I like this place. We should open some sort of university on this spot. Who were your tutors?”
MK raised her chin. “I would never kiss and tell,” but then she slouched and said, “some of them aren’t with us anymore.”
“Big Bill?”
She crinkled up her nose. “No, Billy wasn’t my type.” She pressed her lips together as if she was trying to stop herself from crying. “I remember a night of canoodling with Kevin Sweeney.”
“Canoodling? When was this – in the 1920s?”
She playfully hit him on the arm. “If you play your cards right, Mr Cull, you might get to experience a little old-fashion canoodling.”
From their hiding place they saw the large frame of Trooper Cirba enter the building.
“We should go in.”
MK, who really hadn’t wanted to go to a council meeting in the first place, crinkled up her nose again.
Harry put on a schoolteacher voice. “Council meetings before canoodling, Miss Keller.”
“Keep making me do stuff like this, Mr Cull, and there will be no canoodling for you at all.”
MK rubbed her hand on the railing of the steps leading into the community house. “I love this building,” she said. “When we were young, an old guy would come around every week in the summer and show black-and-white horror movies with an old-fashioned film projector. Classics, like Dracula, and The Beast with Five Fingers. We’d buy candy from old Todd and curl up on the same chairs that are in there now. There was a bat that lived in the roof and always at about a quarter of the way into the movie it would start flying around over our heads. I think the blinking lights of the projector disturbed him. Sometimes he would fly into a girl’s hair and she’d scream.”
“Wow,” Harry said, “that’s proper 3D cinema.”
MK squeezed Harry’s arm and sighed. “Yeah, good times.”
The Ice Lake Community House was one of those buildings that were built before building regulations. About sixty years earlier a bunch of the old guys erected the place out of crap wood without planning permission or even plans. Over the years it had been renovated several times so it was close to code.
The interior beams were rough-hewn tree trunks. There was a little stage set in front of a large moth-eaten American flag that had only forty-eight stars on it. Upstage was an upright piano that probably hadn’t been tuned since, well, ever. Downstage, a long table with six chairs awaited the local councillors. Mayor Boyce was in the middle of the floor talking with Cirba. When Harry and MK walked in the whole place stopped and stared as if they were two movie stars attending a Hollywood film premiere. MK, more used to small-town scrutiny than Harry, was prepared. She waved and said: “You can all talk among yourselves now.”
All at once everyone turned away embarrassed and began chatting again, presumably about MK and Harry.
Harry abandoned his date and went over to Cirba and the mayor. Charlie was being harangued by a pudgy short woman in a gingham dress. She poked the mayor in the chest to emphasize her point. As Harry drew closer he heard her say: “I’m glad to see the brambles have been cleared away from the ghost house. Did you order that like I told you to?”
“I’d like to take credit, Alice, but I had nothing to do with it. Now, I really must have a talk with these gentlemen from the state police.”
Alice looked to the towering Cirba and mumbled approval. Then she looked to Harry, grunted and left.
“You have a haunted house at the lake?”
“There’s a house up near me that no one lives in. The owners pay their taxes, so I don’t mind. It’s not spooky or anything it’s just that no one has ever lived in it, and the thorn bushes have taken over the front porch. Some call it the ghost house. The mayor shrugged. “Somebody cleaned it up this week. Maybe it was Casper and his friends.”
“Every community needs a haunted house,” Harry said then changed the subject. “Look, Charlie, I’m not sure if I’m being a snitch but do you know what some of your constituents are planning for tonight?”
“There are no secrets at Ice Lake,” the mayor said, making a point to glance over at MK. “I would have thought you’d figured that out by now. I am aware of the approaching coup d’état but thanks for the warning.” He patted Harry on the shoulder and left to take his seat on the stage.
“Getting yourself involved in local politics as well?” Cirba said.
“As well as what?” Harry asked but then said: “Never mind. You want me up there with you?”
“No I can handle it. I don’t want people gossiping about you and me too.”
Harry went to take his seat and saw that the three Keller sisters were sitting together with an empty chair in the middle, for him. Vicky gave him an evil smile and patted the empty seat. MK looked as though she would rather be anywhere but there. Harry sat as the mayor gavelled the room into silence. Vicky leaned over, kissed Harry on the cheek and whispered, “You have no idea how nice it is to have a Keller girl other than me at the centre of a scandal.”
“Order, order,” the mayor banged his gavel again. “This, the council of Ice Lake, Pennsylvania will call to order this meeting of…” the mayor motioned towards the secretary and with a wave of his hand mumbled, “this date and this time.”
“Mister Mayor,” Todd shouted as he stood.
“Calm yourself, Todd – you can have your fun later when we get to new business, there are other things to contend with.” He banged the gavel. “The chair does not recognize Mr Guerin at this time.”
Todd sat down. It was hard to say if he looked disappointed since that was his usual look.
“Before we get to current business let’s not keep our representative from the state police waiting around longer than necessary. Trooper Edward Cirba will now update us on the recent serious crimes, which I am sure you have heard about.”
If MK looked as though she didn’t want to be there, Cirba looked as if he wanted to be in another hemisphere. Harry sympathized. He had done community updates in his own cop days and they were difficult enough when you had all the answers. Cirba was there to tell the people, who depended on him for law and order, that their guess was as good as his.
Cirba, reading from a notepad, began by clearing his throat. “Six days ago William Thomson was shot and killed in the late morning on the dirt track locally known as the Horseshoe. Two nights ago, just before midnight, a lawyer from Jim Thorpe, a Mr Kevin Sweeney, was shot and killed at the intersection of Five Mile Road and Atlas Road.”
This caused a murmur in the crowd. Someone asked aloud: “The Kevin Sweeney who grew up on the lake?”
There had been reports of the shooting but the news organizations hadn’t given out the name of the victim yet. Locals who weren’t tuned into the local pine needle telegraph didn’t know it was Sweeney.
Cirba nodded. “Look, folks, I can give you all the, we have the situation under control, speech, but the truth of it is, we don’t have a lot to go on. It looks like the same weapon was used in both the shootings and both victims were called from the same phone booth. We think the victims knew their assailant and were not afraid of him. I can’t say for certain that there is no public safety threat but it just doesn’t seem to me that these shootings are random. Saying that, lock your doors at night, and if someone wants to meet you in the woods – don’t go. I know the kids sometimes use the Horseshoe for parties. I’ve got patrols going by there until further notice, so none of that.”
A middle-aged man in a red plaid shirt stood and said: “Atlas Road is where that strip club is. Is it somethin’ to do with that?”
“Mr Sweeney had not been to the Dew Drop Inn previous to being shot. I can’t say if he was on his way there.”
Lots of questions were shouted out but Cirba put his hand up and silenced them. “Look folks I really don’t have anything more to tell you, except we could really use some help with this case. I left a bunch of cards on the table at the exit. Call me or the state police if anything comes to you. I’ll be around after if you have any questions.”
The mayor gavelled the room quiet and said: “Thank you, Ed. Now at the risk of Todd having an aneurism, let’s get through the old business first.”
That began a litany of readings of old minutes, planning requests, committee reports, and budget updates. It was the kind of tedious stuff that made Harry swear he would never enter politics. How many great leaders were lost to the world just because they didn’t have the ability to suffer fools?
“Any more old business?” The mayor looked around the room. “Please,” he added and got a pretty good laugh. “OK then, new business.”
Todd stood but the mayor said: “The Chair recognizes Alice Gallagher.”
There was a low but audible moan from the citizenry as Todd said: “Oh, for Christ’s sake, Charlie.”
“Todd, I’m sure Alice’s business is just as important as yours, and I think I can safely speak for Alice when I ask you not to take the Lord’s name in vain.”
MK laughed and whispered, “Charlie must be really peddling underwater if he would rather hear from Alice.”
The same chubby woman that was hassling Charlie earlier got to her feet and gave Todd a stern look before she began to speak. “People are drinking at the public beach,” the woman said with a voice right out of an old black-and-white movie about prohibition.
“Alice, we’ve looked into this.”
“The last time I complained about this it took you three months to police the beach and then it was October. There is no problem with people drinking at the beach in October.”
“Alice, every time you call and I’m around, I look.”
“You don’t look hard enough; you don’t know what kind of stuff they are hiding behind those cooler sleeves.”
“Exactly, Alice, and neither do you, but I’ll look into it again… next summer. Todd, you’re starting to look better every minute.”
The mayor got another big laugh. He was working the room like a nightclub MC.
Todd hadn’t sat down since new business was called but the mayor looked past him and said: “Yes, you in the back. It’s good to see young people participating in local politics.”
It was Ryan, the young man that Harry had met at the Horseshoe and at the fracking seminar. “We had an earthquake here today, did you know that?”
“I was informed by several people about houses shaking and cups rattling off counters. I called the Pennsylvania geological survey people and they confirmed that a small earthquake did occur today at about 11.30 a.m.”
“And did they say it was caused by the fracking going on at the old stone quarry?”
“No, but I did ask if this was unusual. They assured me that, although earthquakes are rare in these parts, this was by no means out of the ordinary.”
“That’s bull,” Ryan shouted, unable to hide his frustration. “That’s just the kind of answer I would expect from a man who is working for the gas companies.”
“That’s what I want to talk about,” Todd shouted, “if the Chair would frickin’ recognize me.”
“You are recognized, Todd. What’s on your mind?”
“What is on my mind, is that you should resign due to conflict of interest.”
“What ‘conflict’ is that, Todd?” the mayor asked calmly.
“Is it not true that you conspired to sell off the land beyond the Horseshoe to Keystone Drilling? You should be protecting us from oil speculators not turning our homes into an industrial site.”
A murmur rippled through the room. Like the name of the shooting victim, half of the attendees knew this was coming, but for a minority, it was a complete surprise.
The mayor raised his hand and settled everyone down. “For those of you who don’t know what Todd is talking about, last month Frank Thomson came to me about an offer he had to sell the mineral rights on his land to Keystone Drilling, the same company that is operating the fracking pods out at the old quarry.”
“That is causing earthquakes,” shouted Ryan.
“We don’t know that, Ryan. The geological survey people told me that there was an earthquake here in ’79 that was bigger than this one. That couldn’t have been from the fracking now, could it?”
Harry smiled at the deft politics coming from the man. That was a piece of information the mayor had held back until he needed it.
“Frank consulted me, not in my role as mayor but as a real estate agent, and I looked into the offer to see if it was fair. I contacted Keystone Drilling and they changed their offer from mineral rights to a complete property buyout. Now it’s important to note that Frank came to me as a state licensed real estate agent, and under law I was bound by confidentiality.”
“Why you blabbing about it now?” Todd asked.
“When I heard, Todd, that you were coming tonight with pitchforks and torches, I called Frank and asked permission to tell you about the deal and he said ‘yes’. And before you ask, the deal was not accepted. Frank is not selling any land. Now that I am free of that constraint, I think we should convene an extraordinary meeting to talk about the impact, both financial and environmental, of fracking pods operating so close to the lake. Other municipalities have successfully changed zoning to stop such large industry from encroaching on their homes and I think we should look into that.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Todd shouted over the murmur. “What about the conflict of interest? You should have recused yourself when this all began.”
“As I said, Todd, I was unable to speak about the land deal by Pennsylvania State law. But to make you happy…” The mayor raised his hands and shouted: “All those who think I should resign say aye.”
Todd, Ryan, and two other forlorn looking hillbillies in the corner tried to sound like a crowd.
“Against, say nay.”
Everybody else said: “Nay.”
“The nays have it. Look, folks, I know you want to get to the bingo but this is important stuff for our community. I’m grateful to the young man in the back for bringing it up. We on the council will get some facts and figures and meet back… same time next week. Is that OK?”
The council members nodded. The mayor hit the table with the gavel and said: “Meeting adjourned,” and that was that.
Immediately people began to pick up their chairs, while others went to a stack of long tables with folding legs and started erecting them on the floor.
“What’s happening now?” Harry asked as MK shooed him out of his seat.
“Bingo.”
“You mean like old ladies and balls with numbers on them?”
“Who are you calling old?” MK’s eldest sister, Eileen, said as she put her chair under a newly assembled table.
“Careful,” MK said, “bingo is serious business around here.”
“Yeah, but I never saw politics and bingo mixed before.”
“That was the mayor’s idea,” Eileen said. “He figured more people would come to council meetings if there was bingo afterwards. Worked too. It doubled the number of people who attended.”
A chair gratingly scraped the ground to Harry’s right. He turned and saw Helen sitting and assembling her bingo paraphernalia. “Hello, Mrs Mayor,” Harry said. “I didn’t see you at the meeting.”
“I wasn’t there, I hate ’em. I get Eileen to call me when they’re done.”
“I would have thought the mayor’s wife would be more supportive.”
“Never wanted him to run for mayor in the first place,” Helen said then pointed to Harry and addressed the Keller sisters. “Does he have to sit with us?”
“He’s with me, Helen,” MK said. “Try to be nice.”
Harry stood up and went to talk to the mayor who was packing up his papers. “That was slicker than Dick Nixon,” Harry said.
“Thank you, I think,” the mayor replied with a smile.
“Seriously, you handled both the young environmentalist and the cantankerous Todd with seeming ease.”
The mayor’s smile vanished when he looked over Harry’s shoulder. “Speak of the devil.”
“You slimy fuck,” Todd said. “First you sell the Oaktree Hotel to the titty bar people and now you want to sell that land again and turn it into a slag heap.”
“Oh, don’t give me that shit, Todd,” the mayor said in a loud whisper. “You wanted the gay bar gone and I sold it. I didn’t know they were going to open a strip club.”
“Just doing your job, right?” Todd huffed off, but under his breath it was clearly audible when he said: “Fucking Nazi.”
“If you will excuse me, I have bingo to call.” Before he turned the mayor whispered to Harry, “Sieg Heil.”
MK shouted across the room: “Sit, bingo is starting.”
Harry stifled a sarcastic, “Oh, goody.” He figured that jokes about the venerable business of bingo would fall flat at this table. He held up an index finger and went to talk to Cirba.
“How do you get a roomful of old woman to yell ‘fuck’?” Cirba asked.
“I don’t know,” Harry replied.
“Shout Bingo’”
Harry laughed.
“Hey, you know this spelunking thing, does it have to be excess booze? I mean can it be overeating?”
“I suppose but it’s not like we haven’t overeaten at every meal since I’ve been here,” Harry said.
“Good, I need to meet with the press now.”
“Eeek,” Harry said in sympathy.
“I can see the headlines tomorrow: ‘state policeman has no clue’.”
“I’ve been there.”
“Shall we meet for breakfast at the diner?”
“So, I have to play bingo with the Keller girls and Helen?” Harry whined.
“Actually that’s one of the reasons I’m cancelling. I don’t want MK to be mad at me for dragging you away.”
“You’re like six, six and you’re afraid of MK?”
“I’ve known the Keller girls for a lot longer than you. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”
* * *
The final bingo game was a “Cover All,” where the players had to cover every number on their board in order to win. After an interminable amount of time, no one was more surprised than Harry when he was the one shouting: “Bingo!”
* * *
Harry flashed his twenty dollar jackpot winnings as he and MK walked back home. “I was thinking of using my winnings to buy you a new bottle of grappa.”
“Oh, please God, no,” MK begged.
“How about I take my best girl out for a no-expense spared dinner at the Hillside?”
“Now that’s a deal.”
“I love this Pocono economy,” Harry said.
“I think I’m getting a reputation as a cheap date.”
“When you come to Philly, I’ll take you to the Four Seasons.”
MK stopped. “Are you inviting me to Philadelphia?”
“Sure,” Harry said flippantly, but then got serious. “I don’t think I want this just to be a Pocono vacation fling.” When MK didn’t say anything Harry said: “Too soon to say stuff like that?”
MK leaned in and kissed him. “No, it’s nice. Scary but nice.”
They walked arm in arm on the deserted lake road. The sound of crickets was the only soundtrack until Harry broke the silence. “Charlie said something about a gay bar. What was that about?”
“The strip club used to be a gay bar.”
“A gay bar out here?”
“This was quite a few years ago. A lot of guys, including my ex, were in the closet and liked going to a place in the middle of the wilderness where there would be no chance of anybody recognizing them.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
“The hillbillies didn’t like it. There were a few bashing incidents and someone wrote ‘FAG BAR’ in red paint on the Five Mile Road at the intersection. There was a rumour that the bar people did it themselves as an advertisement.”
“And the mayor was the broker that was responsible for the strip club people buying it?”
“He wasn’t the mayor then. He was a newbie up here when he opened his real estate office. He got a buyer for the gay bar who didn’t even care about the liquor license, so everyone was happy. It sat empty for a long time but then the strip club opened.”
“Hey, I got an idea since we’re talking about it – I could use the twenty for a lap dance at the Dew Drop Inn.”
MK disengaged her arm in fake disgust. Then she reached over and took the bill out of his shirt pocket. “I’ll give you a lap dance for a twenty.”
“TAXI,” Harry shouted to the wilderness.