Tessa: I’m here at the casting call. In the waiting room. There are other models here. We’re hanging out, waiting for our turn.
Andrew: Good. Also, that director has a hard job.
Tessa: You’d be amazed how many of them are gay. Makes things simpler sometimes.
Andrew: Do you still have clothes on?
Tessa: For the moment, yes. What are you doing?
Andrew: Right now? Sending Lightning Man on a mission to the underworld, where someone is posing as his evil twin. The evil twin has fooled Judy Gravity and Lightning Man must rescue Judy and save her life.
Tessa: …
Andrew: What?
Tessa: I think that might be the best answer I’ve ever read in my life.
Andrew: It’s just comics. It isn’t literal rocket science.
Tessa: Still, oh my god. Your life is very cool.
Andrew: Hello? Wheelchair.
Tessa: You’re still cool, sorry.
Andrew: You need a wider circle of friends.
Tessa: So we’re friends now?
Andrew: I admit nothing.
Tessa: They’re calling me, I gotta go.
Tessa: Okay, I’m changed and in the dressing room now. To prove I’m okay, here’s a selfie.
Andrew: I did not need a photo of you in your underwear.
Tessa: Technically not MY underwear, but you’re still lying. You liked it.
Andrew: I’ve deleted it.
Tessa: Okay, here’s another one.
Andrew: …
Tessa: You’re typing and not sending anything.
Andrew: …
Tessa: Still doing it.
Andrew: I’m terrified I’ll get another photo if I send anything.
Tessa: Send me one back.
Andrew: I’m dressed. And I don’t do selfies. Literally ever.
Tessa: Take your shirt off and do it, Mason. Expand your horizons, I dare you.
Andrew: If you’re trying to get me naked, it won’t work. I recognize the signs. Women try to get me naked all the time.
Tessa: They’re calling me again, gotta go.
Tessa: Can I ask you something?
Andrew: Does this mean the casting call is over?
Tessa: Yes. I’m dressed and everything. I still have a question.
Andrew: Okay.
Tessa: I was bored, and I was Googling things. My question is kind of personal. Okay, it’s very personal.
Andrew: Oh, God, here it comes.
Tessa: What?
Andrew: You’re going to ask about sex.
Tessa: Wait, what? People ask you about that?
Andrew: It’s the number one thing people are curious about. You see why I don’t leave the house.
Tessa: What is wrong with people? That is so fucking rude.
Andrew: Are you going to try and tell me that wasn’t your question?
Tessa: No, it totally was my question. But we’re friends. I gave you a Hi cake. I slept in your bed. You’ve seen me in my underwear!
Andrew: Fine. I’ll fill you in. Some people with spinal injuries have it worse than I do. My legs and feet don’t work, but I can take a shit by myself, I can do anything that doesn’t involve walking, and I can fuck. Does that satisfy your curiosity?
Tessa: A little excessively, but yes. So you have girlfriends?
Andrew: Sure, women flock to me. Seriously, Tessa, what do you think?
Tessa: I think you need work. Luckily you have me to take you on.
Andrew: Don’t you have an interview to go to?