23

LEILA WALKED UP to Samantha’s house knowing it might be the last time. Only two and a half years had passed since the first time she walked up this stone drive, wide-eyed and wondering if she was in over her head. Perhaps she had been all this time.

The evening was cool. She had left her scarf in her car and hurried up the steps toward the house, expecting it to be warm inside. The city sounds echoed upward against the hills. Christmas lights sparkled around the windows and on the large tree inside the house. Samantha’s Christmas party had always been a big event. This year would be different, as their office staff had been sliced in half and the entire subprime mortgage industry circled the drain. But Samantha would find a way to make everyone feel happy, or at least pretend to. She always did.

Was it December already? Time was flying by, and Leila still didn’t have an exit plan. She would probably be showing in a matter of weeks now.

Ashford didn’t have an exit plan either. She knew he didn’t like talking about it with her, but he had been turned down for the first job in Glendale, and no other hospitals had offered him a position. Leila wasn’t surprised. After all, he still had his internship to negotiate. She knew he was embarrassed, still being dependent on his mother. She had to admit she wanted to see how he managed once he was out in the real world. She was still a little unsure what kind of a man she had gotten herself tangled up with.

She hoped he had made plans elsewhere tonight. She knew he would stay away from the party, but if he was here, alone in his room, she would sense it. It would be better for him to be away. Yet part of her heart couldn’t help wishing that he was here. She hadn’t been with him in several days. She missed him. She wanted to be near him, even if she didn’t see him.

The house was full of new faces. Leila only recognized about half of the guests. Warm light from the tree gave the party a festive, happy feel. The house even smelled like fresh-baked Christmas cookies. Samantha must have asked the caterers to do their baking here. She thought of everything.

Samantha herself was affectionate as ever when she greeted Leila and introduced her to the new people. But something was different. Something had been lost. Even if Leila had never gotten involved with Ashford, this life was ending anyway, not just for herself but for all of them. Samantha was hanging on to it by a thread, gathering new people to replace those who fell away. There were always willing moons to orbit her. Once Leila left, she would be replaced too. But how long could Samantha hold on to her place in the sky?

Leila made an effort to engage with the guests. She smiled, said the right things, and laughed at people’s jokes. But she was detached from it all. It made it harder that her whole body felt uncomfortable. She had never fit in here, and now she didn’t care enough to try.

As she tried to be friendly with the guests, a wave of nausea rolled over her. The place smelled awful. Alcohol on people’s breath, combined with the sweet baking smell from the kitchen, was too much for her to take. The clatter of plates, rising voices, and loud music beat against the inside of her head.

“Leila, are you okay?”

Startled, she glanced up at Samantha, who stood next to her with a cocktail in hand. Her voice sounded distant amongst all the other noises.

“Yeah, why?”

“You don’t seem yourself.”

Leila got nervous. She couldn’t hide anything from Samantha. “A lot on my mind, I suppose.”

“I understand. Things are changing fast, but it will be okay. Please do try to mingle. Use your charm. There are executives from Alamo Trust Bank here, as well as some new real estate agents. It’s important for us to widen our sphere of influence.”

“I’ll try.”

Samantha smiled, but Leila saw something wrong in her smile.

Leila did try, but only while Samantha was watching. She had to keep up appearances for Samantha if for no one else. She needed an exit strategy fast, but until then it was crucial to retain her boss’s trust. Once Samantha went into another room, Leila turned away from the guests and stood by the open window. The fresh night air dispelled the weird smells in the room. Her nausea went away as swiftly as it had come on.

A car sounded on the driveway. It was about nine o’clock, too late for another guest to arrive. Leila looked out. It was Ashford’s car. The garage door opened and closed behind him.

Suddenly, unexpectedly, a tingle ran all through her.

For the next half hour, she could barely pretend to socialize. Ashford’s nearness was too much of a distraction. Soon, it became an irresistible temptation.

She had to see him. She craved his arms around her, his lips on hers, if only for a moment, and then she could come back.

The bathroom was down the hallway toward the stairs. If she returned quickly, everyone who did notice would think she had just gone to use it.

She dashed up the stairs. Her heartbeat quickened.

A light shone from beneath Ashford’s closed bedroom door. She scratched the door gently. In a moment, he opened it and hurried her in. He didn’t seem surprised. Her nearness must have tempted him too.

A single lamp lit the room. A dark gray curtain flapped in the night breeze from his open bedroom window, fanning a dozen small jars on the sill.

No words were spoken. They were unnecessary.

Leila folded herself into his embrace. Their lips met with the eagerness born of separation and haste. Leila pulled him toward her, with one arm around his shoulder and one hand on his hips. His lips explored her face and her neck. She pushed him backward to sit on his double bed, pulling his shirt up over his head and unzipping his jeans. When she entered his room, she hadn’t intended to go this far. But she had to have him, all of him. She had to be quick about it.

He pulled her dress up over her head, then fumbled with her bra clasp. She laughed quietly, reaching back to help him with it, loving how excited he was. She couldn’t stand to wait another second. As he touched her, every nerve of her body responded. Her pregnancy had heightened every sensation within her. She relished his lips and rough chin against her neck, his hands in her thick hair, his strong lower back clutched between her thighs. She urged him inside her, biting her lip hard to keep from crying out with pleasure.

When it was over, she fell against him, her head over his shoulder and the tingling skin of her breasts against his hot, thumping chest.

“I couldn’t resist you.”

He still said nothing. He didn’t need to. She felt everything in his beating heart.

“Never let go.”

But they had to. She had been gone too long. She got off of him, dressed, and cleaned herself up as best she could. She reapplied her lipstick, laughing as she wiped the evidence off of Ashford’s face. He dressed too. They embraced for several long moments, then she opened his bedroom door.

“Well, isn’t this interesting.” Samantha stood in the hallway with her arms folded.

Leila gasped, then choked. Her knees briefly buckled from shock, and she had to grab onto the doorframe.

“I’ve suspected this for some time. Still, I’m disappointed. Why would you betray me like this, Leila?”

Ashford hurried out and stood beside her, facing his mother. “It’s not her fault. If you want to blame anyone, blame me.”

“Shut up. I’m talking to Leila.”

“No, Mom, you’re talking to me. Leila and I love each other.”

“Aren’t you gallant.”

“I’m sorry we kept it from you, but it’s time for you to know. We’re together now.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve had your fun. Now, you can both move on.”

Leila struggled to regain her composure. She couldn’t breathe. She loved Ashford for standing up for her but hoped he wouldn’t tell Samantha everything. It would be better to break it to her gradually.

“It’s not that simple.”

As soon as she heard Ashford say those words, Leila knew it was all coming out.

“It’s incredibly simple. You’re both young, attractive people who don’t know a damn thing about love.”

“Yes, we do.”

“Bullshit.”

Don’t tell her. Don’t tell her.

“Leila and I are having a baby together.”

Samantha staggered back against the wall. “What do you mean? That’s not possible, you careless idiots!”

Leila had never seen Samantha lose her composure before. It only lasted a moment before she steadied herself and returned her businesslike smile to her lips.

“Leila dear, I think you’d better go home. I need to talk with my son.”

Leila couldn’t move.

“You and I will talk on Monday at the office.”

The surprise must have showed on Leila’s face.

“No, you’re not fired. I don’t blame you for being young and getting swept off your feet. It’s happened to so many of us women. You will come to work on Monday, and we will have a little talk.”

Ashford squeezed her hand. She feared leaving him alone with Samantha. She knew his mother would try to turn him against her. But she had no choice. She had to trust in him. If he could be strong for her, he would have to prove it alone. She left down the staircase and out the back door, avoiding the party, which was growing louder.