Monday morning Zach tapped his spoon against his cereal bowl until his brother startled him from his reverie.
“What’s got you all twisted up in knots?”
Zach looked up from his uneaten cereal at Carter. “Huh?”
Carter snapped his fingers as if to rouse Zach. “You’re in la-la land. You’ve been staring at your cereal so long it’s mush. Worried about the memorial today?”
“Yeah.” He was, but something else was grabbing for his attention, too—the comment from Violet that beat like a drum in his memory.
I’ll never find anyone else like you.
He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around Violet’s bombshell from Saturday night. His tough girl had thoughts about him that were not merely friendly. The admission startled and confused him, especially when he added it together with his persistent desire to kiss her and the word love that continually cropped up in his mind at the drop of a hat. At Archie’s apartment, he’d acted on impulse and she’d been merely surprised, not eager—hadn’t she? Maybe he’d gotten it wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d misunderstood a woman. They were harder to read than the fine print on a medicine bottle. What if her feelings were growing as intense as his were?
“Carter, what does it mean when a woman says she’ll never find anyone else like you?”
He screwed up his face in thought. “In your case, it could mean you’re such a class-A dunce, she’ll be hard-pressed to find anyone as clueless as you are.”
“Thanks.”
He slid into the chair opposite Zach. “Seriously though, who’s the woman?”
Zach shrugged. “Not important.”
“Uh-huh.” He folded his arms and perused Zach across the table.
Zach put the spoon down. “Go ahead and say whatever it is that’s on your mind. You’re dying to, anyway. I can tell, so we might as well get this over with.”
Carter lost the sarcastic edge. “I was just thinking that if you’ve got someone pining for you, it’s best to go slow, huh? Our lives are completely sideways right now, and you may not be firing on all cylinders in the love department.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
Carter frowned. “No dig intended. We’re all under a lot of stress. We may not be interpreting things exactly as we should be. I don’t want you to get hurt. Not sure you could take any more of that right now. Not sure any of us could.”
Zach should have been annoyed at his brother’s advice, but he found he was not. Perhaps he had misconstrued Violet’s utterance, with all the upheaval in his own heart and mind. More than likely, he’d heard something that wasn’t there. He felt calmer, and inexplicably sad. “I hear you. Thanks.”
“Anytime. Ready for today?”
They’d gone over the security details plenty of times. Zach would be in uniform with Eddie, a deterrent to anyone looking to hurt Violet in the event housed in a small room at LaGuardia. Carter, Noah and Gavin would be fanned out in the parking lot to provide eyes on the attendees to Bill’s memorial along with patrol officers. The rest of the department knew about the plans, as well. Since they would be stationed at the airport, they could be there at a moment’s notice if necessary. He’d not been able to get Violet to agree to wear body armor. She hadn’t even replied, just given him a look that said, “You are out of your mind.” She was probably right.
He passed the time before he was to pick up Violet for the eleven o’clock event by working out and doing some training exercises with Eddie in the backyard. Eddie was obliging as usual, and Zach was pleased to see he’d not dug any more holes in the yard. He was grateful that he’d not transferred any of his emotional upheaval to his dog. They sat in the buttery sunshine for a few moments and he stroked the dog’s silky ears. Eddie whined with delight and offered his tummy.
As he often did, Zach contemplated the people who had abandoned Eddie as a puppy. “Wonder who you lost, huh, buddy? Did you love the people who let you down in such a big way?”
Would Jordy be let down at the way his brother had handled his death? No, Jordy loved Zach, Carter, Noah and the whole K-9 unit, and Zach knew his feelings would not have changed in spite of their inability to thwart the murder or catch the perpetrator. Jordy would have understood, and he would have had wise counsel about Zach’s current maelstrom of confusion about Violet. He was not sure exactly what advice his brother would have given, but he knew it would have ended with, “Why don’t you pray about it?”
Prayer. Zach didn’t know how anymore. There was too much anger at God, too much sorrow, and he did not even know what to ask about his feelings for Violet. Nevertheless, the urge to pray pressed down through his reticence and he closed his eyes.
“Lord… I don’t understand You and I don’t think I even like You right now, but…” He swallowed. “I’ll trust You. You promised peace and rest and safety, so I’m asking You to make good on that promise. Not for me, but for Vi. I’m not enough for her, or anybody else, but the Bible says You are, so I’ll try to hang on to that.”
When he opened his eyes, there was no change, no insight that might order his unsettled feelings, but he felt inexplicably better, lighter, somehow.
He caressed the dog sprawled across his legs. “So all we have to do is keep Violet safe, bring down Xavier Beck and whomever he’s working for, find Jordy’s killer and locate Snapper if he’s still alive. Think we can do all that, Ed?”
The dog wagged his tail with effervescent canine optimism and beamed his soulful brown eyes at Zach.
“That’s what I thought you’d say. Let’s do this, Officer Eddie.”
Eddie flapped his ears and followed Zach to the car.
* * *
Violet was as carefully put together as she could possibly be. Her hair was gathered into soft waves at the back of her neck thanks to several clips and a deep conditioning treatment. The black sheath was perfectly fitted, with a light sweater to cover her bare shoulders. For a touch of color, she’d gone with the silk scarf that her father had given her on her sixteenth birthday.
Because a woman should have something nice from her daddy, he’d said. The memory made her smile. Her father was probably pacing the floor at the diner right now, regardless of all her reassurance that nothing could possibly go wrong with so many safety plans in action.
“There were plenty of security people at the airport during your shift, too, and that’s where all this trouble started in the first place,” he’d replied.
She slipped on her black heels as Zach knocked.
“Zach and Eddie’s taxi service,” he called through the door. “Here for a pickup, ma’am.”
Smiling, she opened it, gratified when his mouth fell open.
“Man, you look amazing.”
Warmth tickled her cheeks at his flat-out admiration. “Thank you. Too bad it’s for such a sad occasion.”
He cocked his head. “You look perfect, Vi, except for one tiny thing. You know what would complete the outfit?”
She held up a finger. “If you say a bulletproof vest, I’m going to call for a real taxi.”
He closed his mouth and sighed. “All right. It was worth a try. After you.”
The private reception was held at LaGuardia, in a small room that backed the tarmac. It was an event solely for those employees who had worked with Bill. Another family ceremony would take place the following week. The roar of airplane traffic had to be dampened by extra insulation and heavy draperies on the walls. She knew, because she’d been there before, when they’d lost another coworker to a heart attack and Bill had arranged a lovely ceremony complete with a buffet luncheon. The memory made her tear up, but she tried some deep breathing. It would not help Bill’s wife to have Violet fall apart at the event. She’d spoken to Rory several times on the phone, arranged for a meal to be delivered and agonized that she could not bring it personally, helped create a guest list from the airline employees who would be eager to attend the memorial.
If Beck wasn’t caught, she realized, then Rory would be affected, too, perhaps never seeing justice served for her husband, her boys growing up with the knowledge that no one had been punished for taking away their father. Beck’s violence had robbed them all of so much. She felt Zach’s palm on the small of her back as they approached the room.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I do,” she said, but she was not sorry that he kept his hand there as they walked inside. The room was set up with a large photo of Bill staged on an easel. The picture captured his humble demeanor, the friendly smile. The sight of it made her breath catch. Rory looked tired and wan, but she greeted Violet with an embrace.
“The boys are at home with their grandma. They could hardly stand me leaving them today.” She caught her lip between her teeth. “Actually, I’m not sure I can take it, either. I didn’t sleep at all last night.”
“I’m so sorry,” Violet said.
Rory looked past Violet at Zach and her mouth tightened. “My husband wasn’t a criminal. He just got caught up with the wrong people.”
Zach tipped his head. “My condolences, ma’am. I am sorry for your loss.”
She glared at him, gaze sweeping the floor. “I don’t want a dog in here.”
“I apologize, ma’am. I know this is a terrible time for you. Eddie will not disrupt the proceedings in any way, I promise.”
“Well, at least keep him away from the food, will you?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She whirled on her heel.
“You can understand how she feels,” Violet said.
“I do. I’ll try to stay as unobtrusive as possible.”
Not easy for a six-foot uniformed cop with a beagle sitting at his feet. Violet left him, to greet her fellow airline workers, many of whom were holding back tears. When the proceedings started, Violet listened to her colleagues talk about Bill and she tried not to let loose with her own tears. How could he be gone, yanked so abruptly away from all these people who loved him? Zach stood in the back, Eddie’s nose twitching at the swirl of odors all around him.
The smell of the food, sandwiches, cheese platters and crudités set out on a skirted table, made her stomach churn. The room grew warm and she turned to slip off her sweater. She looked out the sliver of a window. Her heart stopped as she saw Beck. He pointed directly at her.
“Gotcha,” he mouthed, and he smiled.