Sire Minds

We thought we made it. We love you, Iso-bel Aya Shermac. We'll always be with you.

The transmission hit her with the combined voices of her parents. In a flash, she saw them holding her seventeen-year-old brother between them and staring at the main screen of the Haiduc. Dan-ylo's terror was palpable, but her parents were calm. Alarms blared throughout the starship, and then nothing. They vanished from her mind and her heart skipped a beat, making her gasp for breath.

She crumbled to her knees, panting and trying to reconnect with her family, worlds away on Marc'harid, but the connection was gone. What were they doing on the Haiduc? What were they running away from? But what upset her the most was – why was the mind link with them gone?

She slowly regained control of her heartbeat and her breathing, and she realized her teacher was shaking her as Shanell stared anxiously at her. She focused on the Academy gym where she'd been practicing some martial arts and closed her mouth, gulping.

"Aya, are you all right?" Norine Andera was a middle-aged, tight-muscled woman who still spent more time in a gym than at home. She'd been in the Queen's Guard for years before starting to train younger girls for the task. She taught at the Sylvanian Academy and owned her own gym near the Queen's palace where the other guards often went to exercise. She had put one hand on Iso-bel's shoulder and looked worried. "Did Shanell hit you too hard?"

"She didn't hit me," Iso-bel whispered, still breathless.

"She just fell, we hadn't even started, yet!" Shanell added, frowning in concern.

"What just happened, then?" Norine asked, nonplussed.

Iso-bel closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I think my family is dead." Another whisper, another lump in her throat.

She slowly got up and stared at her feet.

"I must call them," she said a little louder. "I must make sure they're all right."

Norine harrumphed but waved her out of her class. She knew Iso-bel was a Sire and had some form of telepathic link with her family.

"I'll go with her!" Shanell said.

"You stay here, Shanell! Keep training with Melodie! Come on!"

Iso-bel didn't turn around to look at her roommate and sparring partner. She slowly went back to her room in the Academy compound. She felt dazed. She took her videophone and punched in the call, but it didn't go through.

Her heart tightened in her chest as she tried her grandfather, then her friends, anyone, really! Nobody picked up from the former Imperial palace, though. As if they were all dead.

With an even more impending sense of doom, Iso-bel went on the meganet, freeing her chestnut brown hair from the tight bun she wore it in for training that started to give her a headache. Newsfeeds were flooded by now.

Her eyes widened in shock at the titles screaming "Former Imperial planet destroyed by impact after meteor shower!" or "Mega Arena crashed on Marc'harid after a malfunction, destroying it!"

If she switched on the audio, voices superimposed themselves, so she just picked the first article and read it silently. The tragedy was still ongoing, so there were continuous updates. She scrolled down to the first news.

A meteor shower in Marc'harid's solar system had provoked a malfunction of the Mega Arena NePOshields. The space station almost as big as a planet had been hit by a comet that had thrown it off its orbit and towards Marc'harid's sun.

There were no ongoing shows, so the tragedy wouldn't have been that bad if the planet itself hadn't been in the way of the off course Mega Arena. The meteor shower had damaged the NOOwatches, so the planet was blind to the threat. Even though the Vaurabi Labs Observatory had the means to deflect or destroy the broken station, they didn't see it coming.

Both the orbital station and the planet had been aware of the dangers of NePO – near-planet objects – and NOO – near-orbit objects – that could damage them, and that was why they had NOOwatch satellites and NePOshields, but everything became useless when the Mega Arena was captured by the planet's gravity.

Like an asteroid too big to be slowed down by air friction, the orbital station punched through the atmosphere as if it wasn't there and smacked into the planet's crust, vaporizing itself and creating a huge rippling shock wave and a crater that threw rocks back into the air.

Some debris flew right out of the atmosphere while others rained back down on the planet's surface, heating the atmosphere until it was like the inside of an oven, triggering forest fires all over the landmasses shaken by earthquakes and volcanoes. The combination of dust from the impact and soot from the forest fires and volcanic eruptions still wrapped Marc'harid, not allowing rescue ships to land and check damages.

It was estimated ninety percent of the population was dead or would die soon after the impact. Volcanic and seismic activity was still ongoing and probably even underground facilities like the Vaurabi Labs weren't safe havens. Some starships had made it safely away from the planet and were being rescued by any Star Nations cruisers present in the quadrant, but most didn't have time to leave.

Iso-bel lay back in her chair and stared into the distance. So that was what she had seen. Her family had jumped on their private starship, the Haiduc, as soon as the threat had become visible somehow, either to the eye or to some instruments, but the starship had been hit by a rock thrown back into space when the Mega Arena had crashed.

That was why they hadn't transmitted earlier – they thought they were clear. Who knew how many starships had been destroyed as they tried to leave the doomed planet...

And then it hit her again. Her parents, her younger brother, her friends on the home planet... were gone. All of them.

She dragged herself to her bed and curled up, feeling the hole of the severed mind link growing inside her.

She was alone now. Twenty and alone and with nowhere to go back to. Shivering with cold that came from within her, she tried to control her grief, but her mind started screaming.

***

Shanell bursting into the room wide-eyed and her phone ringing startled her awake. Iso-bel had dozed off in her fetal position, and she still felt empty as her roommate rushed to hug her.

"Oh, Aya, we've heard... I'm so sorry... Princess Arica is going to take all the Sire currently on Sylvania to Gweltaz, hurry up, your family may have made it!"

"They're dead," Iso-bel replied flatly. "They didn't make it."

Shanell held her breath and squeezed her.

"Are you sure you don't want to go? Maybe someone made it... relatives or friends' families... isn't your boyfriend on Serenaide? Anyone spread on other planets' universities?"

Iso-bel took a deep breath, trying to calm her heartbeat once again. Shanell was right. Jes-syd was on Serenaide and maybe others had made it. Maybe she wasn't all alone after all.

"You're saying they're gathering survivors on Gweltaz?" she asked, rising and checking her phone. Missed call, Jes-syd. At least he was all right. She'd call him back from the starship.

"Yes, it's the closest planet to the disaster zone," Shanell answered, still frowning in worry. "I'll help you pack. Your friend Kim-ash is probably already onboard. Princess Arica is waiting for you to leave."

Iso-bel sighed and tried to gather her wits. She grabbed her duffel bag and threw in some clothes and her phone. Shanell took her to the spaceport with her flying car and dropped her in front of Princess Arica's Star Dreamcatcher, a hyperspace freighter with good shields and very good speed. It had a small crew of five and enough passenger space for the two dozen or so distraught Sire women who were on Sylvania at the time of the tragedy.

Princess Arica was sixty, with a golden artificial arm and a proud demeanor. She taught piloting starships big and small at the Sylvanian Academy and she wasn't in the line of succession. A princess with the title but no real powers, much like Iso-bel.

The tall woman nodded silently to Iso-bel, who barely reached her shoulder, and let her in, closing the spacecraft door behind her. Iso-bel had barely waved good-bye to Shanell, keeping her mind shields at the maximum. She had enough of her own emotions, she didn't need to feel others' as well.

"You can relax, Aya," Princess Arica said, reminding her that she was a telepath as much as the Sire. All the Queen's daughters, being her clones, were telepaths.

Iso-bel slumped in a seat next to Kim-ash and closed her eyes. Nobody spoke as the Star Dreamcatcher took off. All the mental shields were on, as if each and every woman wanted to mourn on her own.

After some meditation time, Iso-bel felt calm enough to open her eyes and look at Kim-ash. Her secondary school friend stared into the distance, looking paler than ever under her short raven haircut.

Iso-bel remembered the missed call and took out her phone. She found a message from Jes-syd, telling her he was on Gweltaz, waiting for her. Serenaide must be closer to Gweltaz than Sylvania. The newsfeeds still said the same thing – Marc'harid was still wrapped in ash and debris and dust and soot and it was impossible to land. Very few starships had made it off planet and Iso-bel scanned the names, just in case...

The Haiduc II! Iso-bel checked the passengers list, but it was just non-Sire living on Marc'harid. Of course she knew Dadina, her mother Maela and her husband Wim – her father had considered Dadina his foster sister all his life – but they weren't related to her. They weren't even Sire, although the tragedy had hit all of Marc'harid's inhabitants, whether they were Sire or not.

Iso-bel put down the tablet and sighed. It must have been sheer bad luck that of two ships leaving the planet at the same time – since she was almost certain that the two Haiducs had left together – one hadn't made it. Why her family? Why not the non-Sire immigrants? It was so unfair...

"They're all gone," Kim-ash said.

Iso-bel turned to look at her friend and met her big black eyes.

"Have you checked the ships? Some made it," she suggested.

Kim-ash seemed to come back to life. She hadn't thought about that. It seemed some of her relatives had made it to Gweltaz.

"But Emma-lin is gone, and so is Dan-sam," she said mournfully again. "Is Jes-syd all right?"

"Yes." Iso-bel stared into space, thoughtful.

Yes, her boyfriend was all right, but his friends were both gone – cocky Ran-ald and cheerful Dan-sam, Kim-ash's boyfriend. And her best friend Emma-lin was also gone. Iso-bel had no cousins, since her father had been an only child and her mother's relatives were on Xi-kong, total strangers to her. Her closest relative was her father's cousin's son who lived on Ypsilanti with his Ypsilantian mother.

We love you, Iso-bel Aya Shermac. We'll always be with you.

She didn't think she could cope with the loss. A disembodied family wasn't enough. The missing mind link hurt more than anything else. The bond with her family had been stronger than the one with Jes-syd, she realized now that she had lost it. Could it be because Jes-syd had been part of her life for only five years – and was still alive?

Tears didn't come. Her heart was slowly turning into a block of ice.

***

Iso-bel had a temporary relief on her arrival on Gweltaz. Outside of the Star Dreamcatcher she found Maela, the Sylvanian who had been head of security at the former Imperial palace for thirty years before retiring from active service. In her sixties, she was also Dadina's mother and had been on the Haiduc II when the impact had hit Marc'harid.

A cyborg after a maiming during the war with the Reptilians, Maela greeted Princess Arica with a nod, then looked at the Sire women behind the Sylvanian ship captain. She had a list of names and people waiting for them and she left Iso-bel last.

"Iso-bel," she said gravely as the others were taken away by the rescuers.

Unlike the other Sylvanians, she used her first name. It had been Iso-bel's idea to use Aya in her studies. On Marc'harid everybody called her Iso-bel except her mother, who used Aya. And Maela knew her from Marc'harid.

Iso-bel gulped. "I know the Haiduc didn't make it," she whispered. "They sent me a message."

Maela exchanged a puzzled stare with Princess Arica. Both nodded, thoughtful.

"When you feel like it, you can read my mind or Dadina's," Maela said. "We had to watch the second tragedy unfold under our eyes, unable to do anything. Now come. As you might know, we have friends on Gweltaz, and they'll take care of you. I think your boyfriend is here too, right?"

"Yes, but I can't see him right now," Iso-bel answered. Her voice was still choked. She felt she didn't want to communicate at all. With anyone. Her grief was too huge to handle.

"You should scream it out," Princess Arica suggested. "I'll be here when you all want to go back to Sylvania or wherever."

Iso-bel nodded, staring at her boots. Maela put her prosthetic arm around her shoulder and gently led her out of the spaceport.

Iso-bel sat in the flying car in a dazed state. She snapped back to reality when the car stopped in front of a mansion in the countryside. The white villa was even bigger than Mansion Shermac! There must be wealthy people even away from Marc'harid, but Iso-bel had never met any.

The Sylvanians were very spartan and their hive-towns were built to look the same. Only the size of apartments changed, from single to couple, since at five girls were sent to Girls' Houses. Iso-bel had seen more varied buildings on Earth than on Sylvania. But here was Gweltaz, another planet similar to Marc'harid, with mansions in the countryside.

The grand entrance hall with two marble staircases that met on the first floor was almost as impressive as the Imperial palace. Maela led her to a living room on the right of the staircase, where a few people were waiting.

"We're here!" Maela announced.

"Welcome." A tall woman with short white hair and big blue eyes immediately came forward. "I'm Mya Lylestar and this is my house."

Iso-bel stared at her and lowered one shield. Mya Lylestar, former Galaxy Police, then Marc'harid Imperial Guard, had gone back to her home planet after the fall of the Triumvirate. She was almost seventy and had known Kol-ian Vaurabi and Ker-ris Shermac well. And Maela and Dadina. And Iso-bel's father.

"Mya helped us when the Emperor caught Kol-ian," Maela said with a half-smile. "We hid here before hitting back. She left Marc'harid long before you were born, though, that's why you haven't met her before."

"I saw her in my father's memories," Iso-bel said weakly.

"Shan-leo was a very smart boy. You have his eyes and his hair," Mya said gravely.

Iso-bel smiled ruefully. Yes, she had her father's features and her mother's willowy built. Dan-ylo was the opposite, with his mother's face and his father's tall built – he was already taller than his mother and his sister at seventeen and...

A pang in her heart reminded her she'd never see him become as tall as her father.

"This is my partner and sister-in-law, Camilla Mansun," Mya said, introducing the woman by her side. Another widow who had found true love with her departed spouse's sibling, like Iso-bel's grandfather.

"Welcome to Villa Mansun," Camilla said, looking as sad as Mya. "There's still plenty of room if you want any of your surviving friends here with you."

"Not now," Iso-bel answered through clenched teeth.

Dadina came forward as the house owners moved away. Now in her forties, Iso-bel's father's foster sister looked heartbroken. She had saved her husband and her family, but had to watch her first love die on her starship screen. Iso-bel quickly raised her mind shields again before Dadina's sorrow worsened hers.

Dadina hugged her without speaking. Iso-bel glanced at her husband, Wim, who held their children close and stared back at her, serious. Dadina was the younger copy of Maela, being born on Sylvania with sperm created from her mother's bone marrow, but her children had been conceived with a man, so they were of both sexes and looked a little like both parents.

"You should lie down," she whispered in her ear. "You look like a wreck."

I am a wreck. I saw them die too. Words didn't come out.

She nodded and let Maela take her to her room.

"Bess-lin?" Iso-bel asked outside of the living room, since she didn't see Maela's Sire partner in the welcome committee.

"On Ypsilanti, with Kay-low and Jay-lee," Maela answered. "She chose the right time to finally meet her grandson."

"Oh. Good for her." Isobel felt indifferent. She had asked only out of courtesy.

The bedrooms were up the grand staircase and down a corridor that reminded her of the Imperial palace. The room itself felt like going back to her room on Marc'harid.

She dropped her bag on the floor and went to lie on the bed, closing her eyes. Her stomach was clenched shut and so many emotions were battling inside her, she only wanted to sleep and wake up when it was all over.

***

Except it could never be over. Marc'harid was gone, destroyed. Her family was gone. She spent a few days barely eating at Villa Mansun, then Dadina invited her for a walk in the countryside. They both needed to vent their pain, sorrow, frustration at the inability to do anything to change the outcome of the impact. They both screamed in the Gweltaz wind until they fell to their knees, breathless, and hugged each other.

They didn't talk much. Dadina knew Iso-bel could read her mind. But Iso-bel kept her shields up, reinforcing that armor of ice around her heart.

"She's so much like Kol-ian when we first met him," she heard Maela say, worried, when she got back to the mansion. The Sylvanian hadn't heard her or Dadina come in. "She's hiding her feelings like an icy Sire! She wasn't like this, Mya, I'm worried!"

"Hopefully Dadina will help her decompress," Mya answered, thoughtful.

Iso-bel and Dadina exchanged a glance. Dadina looked both mournful and hopeful.

"Do you feel better?" she whispered before heading for the living room where her mother was.

Iso-bel shrugged and went back to her room. Was there any way she could feel better? With that hole in her heart and the broken mind link?

She found a missed call from Jes-syd. It was probably time to call him. Maybe he could help.

She placed the call. Jes-syd answered immediately.

"Iso-bel! I thought you were avoiding me! As if there wasn't enough tragedy in our lives right now! I need to see you! Where are you? Fucking Gweltazians won't tell me for privacy reasons!"

"I needed time alone," Iso-bel said. Her voice sounded flatter than ever. "I'm at Villa Mansun."

"Be there as fast as I can," he replied, signing off.

Iso-bel put down the phone with a sigh. The walk had tired her muscles and kept her mind busy with physical tasks. Maybe she should just go back to Sylvania and resume her training. Physical exercise seemed to work fine...

Her eyelids were heavy. She dozed off.

***

She awoke nestled against a warm body. Jes-syd's scent filled her nostrils, but she didn't move. It felt wrong waking up next to him.

And then the memory hit her. Her family was gone. Marc'harid had become a tomb for most Sire and many other Humanoids living and working there.

Her hand balled into a fist, and that simple movement informed Jes-syd she was awake.

She felt his lips on her forehead.

"Iso-bel?" he called tentatively.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him. His amber eyes were full of sorrow, much like everybody else's. His unruly blond mane was spread on the pillow, and he squeezed her in his strong arms – to no effect.

She disentangled herself from his embrace and sat. She felt detached. From him, from everybody else. She was numb.

"Iso-bel?" he repeated, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"That's my name," she snapped. "Was. Iso-bel Shermac is dead."

"You look alive to me," he replied soothingly. "I'll call you Aya if you prefer."

She didn't know what she preferred. She didn't care which name was used. She didn't think she could keep living with that hole inside her.

His warmth was so close, though... She threw herself at him, kissing and ripping off his clothes, as if sex could make her feel alive again. She loved him, she must find comfort in him, his body, his mind...

But her shields remained up. There was no mind communication, only bodies met on the physical plane. Even feeling him inside her wasn't as before – she was so disconnected from everything...

She lay on the bed next to him staring at the ceiling. That wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to seek his tenderness or cry on his shoulder or...

Nothing. She felt nothing. His light caresses didn't send shivers down her spine anymore.

Five years of a tender relationship meant to become permanent had suddenly lost any meaning.

"Princess Arica of Sylvania can take us to Marc'harid," Jes-syd said. "We can talk with the starship captains still doing the rounds in the star system. There are Galaxy Police star-cruisers still on duty and whatever is left of the Sire fleets trying to assess the damages."

"The Imperial planet is gone," she muttered.

He sighed. "Yes, I'm afraid it is. My parents, yours. Emma-lin, Ran-ald. So many people gone because a meteor shower threw the Mega Arena at the planet. It's nobody's fault, Iso-bel. All we can do is move on."

She was a descendant of the last Sire Emperor. She was a Sire princess of the House of Shermac. But none of that mattered anymore. Sire aristocrats and commoners alike had shared the same fate. The catastrophe hadn't spared the "superior" House of Vaurabi or any of the other Sire noble Houses.

Her grandfather had been the first Imperial prince to say the Sire weren't really superior to the other Humanoids. The tragedy of Marc'harid just proved his point. The mighty telepathic Sire hadn't been able to save themselves. Their powerful minds hadn't stopped the Mega Arena landfall.

"They sent me a message," she said.

"Who?" he asked, puzzled.

"My parents. They transmitted to me before dying."

"They transmitted to you on Sylvania?" He couldn't believe his ears. But then, he didn't know about mind links – that gift that connected her to her family even on different planets, that link that had proved strong enough to transmit as far as another solar system.

Her family had been strong with mind links. Her father's cousin had resented him because he couldn't do it. He called them Holy Shermacs for their gifts before finding another Sire with the same gift.

Iso-bel had meant to mind-link with Jes-syd when they got married, when they finished university. They still had a couple of years and she'd find the right time and place to explain to him what mind-linking implied. Or so she thought before the catastrophe.

Now she started thinking it was a very bad idea. Considering how the severed blood mind link hurt, she didn't think she could take it if she lost Jes-syd and a love mind link. She didn't think she could have a relationship with anyone now that she had lost everything.

But she didn't know how to tell Jes-syd. So she let him be in charge, as usual. When they were together, he usually led her. He seemed to know what she wanted and what was best for her. It was fine with her right now. She had no decision-making strength left.

Maela drove them back to the spaceport where Princess Arica listened to Jes-syd's request. No private ships were allowed in the star system at the moment, but she thought she could get in touch with the fleets, since she was the Sylvanian Queen's daughter.

The other Sire survivors also joined them onboard the Star Dreamcatcher and the starship headed for Marc'harid.

Iso-bel just watched as Jes-syd and Kim-ash talked and talked about what had happened and why and what they could do now. She had no idea of what she would do. Again she wanted to just fall asleep and wake up only to discover it was just a nightmare that would vanish with the daylight.

***

The admiral of what was left of the Shermac Fleet teleported herself on the Star Dreamcatcher to speak with Iso-bel.

"We were in the star system, and we saw it happen," she said, eyes wide as if she were still living it. She was a tall middle-aged Sire who had been working for the House of Shermac all her life. "The Mega Arena was on our screens, and then it wasn't, and by the time we got on this side of the sun, it was way out of orbit and speeding towards the sun. When we realized the planet was on the way and tried to warn them, it was already too late. The NePOshields failed and it crashed down... I heard billions of minds scream for a long time..."

That was why she looked so haunted. She had heard the whole planet's population die. Must be worse than a single message from loved ones.

Iso-bel nodded, speechless. Jes-syd, Kim-ash and the other survivors were also silent in front of the woman.

"The Star Nations will welcome refugees and survivors," Iso-bel said flatly. "You are dismissed from service. You can keep the starship and the crew. I won't need any of it. I don't have a house to protect or go back to anyway."

The woman's eyes filled with tears. "We tried to teleport them onboard, but that debris hit them before we could lock..."

So she had seen the Haiduc being hit by the debris. Iso-bel had already seen the brief flash of light in Dadina's mind. The Haiduc II had also tried to teleport away the passengers of the doomed Haiduc, in vain.

"You did your best, Admiral," Iso-bel said. "There is nothing else you can do. Get on with your life."

"It's not easy when one has felt her loved ones die," the woman replied with a rueful smile.

I know exactly what you mean, Iso-bel thought. She waved her off and went back to her seat. She was done. She'd written off her home planet – once upon a time a blue and green ball of atmosphere, now a brown ball of dust and smoke that sustained no life.

"Damn, Iso-bel, since when are you so icy?" Jes-syd grumbled, sitting next to her.

She shrugged. She didn't care what he thought. She. Did not. Care.

***

"The Khamisi Pride has requested to meet with you," Princess Arica announced. "Would you prefer to meet them here or onboard their starship?"

"What is the Khamisi Pride doing in this quadrant?" Iso-bel snapped, jarred.

She knew Leo-will Khamisi was the Sire representative at the High Council of the Star Nations. Another lucky survivor, since his job had taken him away from the home planet for three years. Incidentally, he was also her grandparents' first cousin, another Sire aristocrat from the House of Khamisi.

"They are looking for you." Princess Arica half smiled. "They went on Gweltaz and were told you were with me."

Of course they'd look for her on Gweltaz first.

"I think you should meet him," Jes-syd said. "Lord Khamisi is the most powerful Sire alive and..."

"You saw how powerful the Sire were when it came to save their planet and their lives!" Iso-bel snapped.

"He is still Sire," Jes-syd insisted. "He has a Sire mind. His mother was a Shermac. He might be able to help you more than I ever will."

She scowled at him, but he didn't look away. He was darn serious. And darn right. Her grandfather's cousin surely knew something about mind links.

She averted her eyes first and snorted.

"Fine, send me onboard the Khamisi Pride," she muttered, rising from her seat.

Princess Arica nodded and took her to the teleport room.

Leo-will was in his sixties, a tall blond man with blue eyes who stared at Iso-bel with a thoughtful expression.

"Shan-leo's face and Mayumi's body," he said. "I hadn't seen you in years, Iso-bel."

She nodded. That much was true. He was her grandfather's cousin and they hadn't met that often.

He cleared his throat. "You know, you actually look like Ker-ris when he was sick from the mind link with Kol-ian," he continued. "Did you have a mind link with someone on the planet?"

"My family."

"Ah!" He looked relieved. "Blood mind links are weaker than love mind links. But I know what you're going through. My father was killed by the Emperor. Did your parents release you?"

"What the hell does that mean?" she exploded. "They're dead, for God's sake, and they told me so!"

"So they managed to transmit a message before going," he said. "And then they broke the connection, is that how it went?"

"I don't know!" she shouted. "They were there and then they weren't and..."

He took her head in both hands and sent soothing waves towards her. She calmed down.

Take down your shields. Show me. I can help.

She stiffened, trying to resist his transmissions.

Iso-bel, relax. Let me help you or this will kill you.

It has already killed me! her mind screamed.

Then his mind overcame hers. She gave up her struggles and let him peer into her shattered mind. She was so tired... She lost herself in his eyes as blue as Marc'harid's sky before the deadly impact from space.

Leo-will slowly nodded. Now that she was calmer, she opened up to his intrusion, allowing for a better comprehension of what had happened.

Her parents had severed the bond to save her. She'd be dead too if they hadn't done it.

She still felt empty, numb. She still didn't know what to do with herself. She still didn't see any future.

It shall pass, Leo-will promised, letting go of her head. You're a natural born fighter, Iso-bel. You won your first fight in the womb, after all.

It jarred her that he knew her most secret thoughts, but he was right. Her mother had had a twin, and Iso-bel had been one of two embryos. Only one had developed into a baby, but that was why she'd been given two names. Aya was for the unborn twin.

She almost dropped to the ground when he released her. She hadn't realized how weak her knees were. He was fast to slid his hands under her armpits to keep her upright.

"I have lost my son, my daughter-in-law and my grandchildren," he said. "I feel your pain. I had a blood mind link with them, much like you did with your family. I know it hurts. But you'll be all right, Iso-bel, I promise."

She finally found the strength to stand on her two feet and nodded. "Keep in touch," she said quickly, backing away. "Please send me back to the Star Dreamcatcher."

He signaled the man standing by the teleport machine and watched as she vanished from his ship.

Iso-bel went back to her seat and sat down, feeling slightly better. Leo-will's mind had given her some strength and shared some of his sorrow – which had helped. She felt less lonely in her struggle.

And he had reminded her who she was and why had chosen the Sylvanian Academy and a military training that she hadn't really needed so far, but could be useful in the future to find work. Because she'd lost all her family's estate, she was no longer a wealthy Sire.

She wouldn't mind working for a living, though. Might keep her mind busy. And just because her home had been destroyed didn't mean she wouldn't be able to buy a new one eventually.

"The Star Dreamcatcher is now headed for Gweltaz and then Sylvania," Princess Arica announced on the intercom.

"Will you go back to Sylvania?" Jes-syd asked both Kim-ash and Iso-bel.

"I don't really want to..." Kim-ash answered, looking on the verge of tears. Again. Iso-bel had enough of watching her friend cry her eyes out. Kim-ash was doing enough crying for both of them.

"Probably," she answered absentmindedly, staring into space. She was still pondering the experience with Leo-will Khamisi. There were so many things she didn't know about Sire minds! And now her father was gone... she'd have to ask her grandparents' cousin from now on.

***

By the time they got to Gweltaz, Iso-bel felt alone in a room full of people. Even Jes-syd and Kim-ash stared at her as if she'd gone completely crazy. Which was probably right, since she couldn't bring herself to care. She said good-bye to her friend and her boyfriend of five years and stayed onboard.

She was going back to Sylvania. She was going to finish the Sylvanian Academy. And then maybe do a Master Degree on Ulba'wis. And then who knew. Anything to keep her body and mind busy. She was a young woman with no planet to go back to. She could apply for refugee status anywhere and live off the Star Nations, but she was never one to sit idle doing nothing.

She'd been away for less than a month and Shanell looked as worried as the day she had left. Even her teachers looked worried when they dealt with her, which got on her nerves. She had to tell them she didn't want to discuss what had happened – ever – and they should just pretend nothing wrong was going on.

Shanell wasn't duped, though.

"You changed, Aya," she said towards the end of the school year. "What's with the eyeliner? You never wore makeup before."

"To remind myself I mustn't cry unless I want to become a mask of black lines. I'm a fighter, not a girly girl."

"You never were a girly girl!" Shanell smiled. "Will you be meeting Jes-syd during the break?"

"No, I'm staying on Sylvania," Iso-bel answered with a shrug. "What will you do during the break?"

Shanell chuckled. "I'll go exploring Sylvanian beaches, as usual."

"I could do that," Iso-bel replied. "Haven't done it before, so why not?"

***

She felt at peace with herself – if she didn't think about the past and what she had lost. She lived her life one day at the time, staying in the present as much as she could. She became very proficient with double swords fighting and got herself two blades of black alloy that made her feel strong and powerful.

She was preparing for a career in the Galaxy Police, probably, or she could enroll in any Humanoid army that would take her.

Physical exercise was the only way to be too tired to dream at night. Studying hard was another good way to keep her mind busy. The remaining year at the Academy flew by and she almost couldn't believe it when she got her degree along with Shanell.

"Now what?" Shanell asked, excited. "I think I'm going to buy myself a small starship and start some business! What about you?"

"I don't know." Iso-bel pondered. Maybe it was time to get in touch with her people – whatever was left of them. Jes-syd has stopped calling a long time ago and had probably found someone else in the meantime. "I'm not sure I want to live on a starship, though," she mused.

And then Leo-will Khamisi contacted her, asking her to meet again. His term at the High Council was over, and there wouldn't be another Sire representative, since they were now such a minority scattered through the galaxy.

Shanell took her to meet with the Khamisi Pride and Iso-bel hugged her roommate good-bye.

"Take care of yourself, Aya," Shanell said. "And be in touch. Not like you did with your Sire friends, I mean."

Iso-bel smiled despite herself as the Sylvanian winked with an impish smile.

"I'll keep in touch," she promised. "If you don't mention my planet or my people ever again."

"I won't." Shanell pretended to zip her mouth closed and waved her good-bye.

Iso-bel was teleported on the Sire cruise ship and Leo-will congratulated her for her degree.

"I wish I could have been there," he said. "Where are you headed now?"

"I'm thinking of doing a Master Degree on Ulba'wis," she answered. "Should keep me busy for another couple of years."

Leo-will nodded, thoughtful. "Would you like to have a short cruise with me? I'm settling on Gweltaz afterward, since it's the closest planet to Marc'harid..."

"How can you bear to say that name?" she asked, scowling.

Leo-will smiled. "You definitely need this trip, then," he said. "We'll fly by Marc'harid and then I'll take you to Ulba'wis."

"I don't want to see what's left of it!"

"Don't you miss your family?"

"Yes!"

"Then that's where you want to go to say a proper good-bye. I've been postponing this for too long myself."

Iso-bel glared at him, but he was an elder. She'd been taught to trust Sire elders like her grandfather, especially the ones with the gift of mind links.

They didn't talk much during the journey. Marc'harid was still a brown, scarred, waterless, dead ball orbiting around its sun, but in the silence surrounding it two years after the catastrophe, Iso-bel could finally hear voices.

It took some time to make sense of them. It felt as if the Sire minds were still lingering around their dead planet. She glanced at Leo-will who seemed to be listening to those ghosts too and saw him smile. Puzzled, she tried to sort the voices and find her loved ones.

Iso-bel, you're back! That was Dan-ylo's excited voice when she'd come back from her last long summer with Jes-syd and her friends, before leaving again for university.

You don't need to be so submissive, Aya. Women can be strong no matter their size or appearance. That was her mother, who always used her second name.

Iso-bel Aya Shermac, behave yourself. Her father's playful warning when she'd left for Sylvania.

She could hear them again. Every single word uttered under Marc'harid's once blue sky came back to her, as if it had been stuck into the ether for her.

Be a good girl, Iso-bel.

Enjoy your last long summer, Aya.

Don't do anything you'll regret. I know you're eighteen and you've been with Jes-syd for three years already...

Which doesn't mean she hasn't already done the nasty stuff! Don't worry, Aya, you'll be all right. Enjoy your trip.

Until the last message, the one that had crossed space to reach her on Sylvania.

We love you, Iso-bel Aya Shermac. We'll always be with you.

Tears started flowing down her cheeks, but she smiled.

I miss you all... but I'll learn to live without you.